by HJ Bellus
“Please, it’s me, Shrek,” he whispers.
I catch Rowe peeking between her fingers, gaining a healthy smile from State.
“Look what I found.” He holds out a brand new Rapunzel doll still in the package.
She squeals still peeking through her little fingers. “For me?”
“Only for you.”
My heart melts listening to him talk so gently to her. I’ve watched footage online of him crushing men his size on the field. He’s a freaking beast that dominates. Grown men are afraid of him on the field. It takes me back to our time in the King’s, he was always my protector.
Lily, a little girl from dance, races back into the studio.
“Baylor.” She tugs on the hem of my shirt.
“Yeah, sweetie?”
“I can’t find my pink jacket.”
“Let’s go look in the cubbies.” I point to the cubicles arranged symmetrically on the wall.
“Thanks it’s new and I’ll be in hot water.” She wrings out her hands.
We look for only a few moments before digging it out of the cubby on the very top.
“Here, sweetie.” I hand her the jacket and she bolts over to State who is still kneeling in front of Rowe.
“That’s pretty.” Lily’s blue eyes look up to State with a twinkle in them.
“It’s mine.” Rowe drops her hands from her eyes and pats her little chest. She wraps an arm loosely around State’s neck. “And he’s mine, too.”
I’m forced to bite back a giggle. Miss Tami is stepping in to run interference, seeing the fire light up in Rowe. She’s tends to get a bit territorial when it comes to things she loves.
“Glad you found your jacket,” State nods then whispers something into Rowe’s ear. Her nose turns up for a second.
“Thank you, Lily, for telling me my doll is pretty, but don’t touch it again. It’s mine.”
My bottom lip hurts from biting down on it, stifling my laughter. State stands to his feet, pulling Rowe up with him tucked to his side. She keeps her arm wrapped around his neck and her doll clutched to his chest. She seems to have no problem with the football on his team shirt right now.
When he turns around to walk out, I notice his number for the first time. Number seven and I know it’s no coincidence. It’s from an UNO game when we were younger. He was pissed I’d won when he laid down that yellow seven. It makes my footsteps light as I walk out behind him. I’m in awe realizing how he never let go of anything, even though I’d thought he had.
Rowe insists on riding in State’s car on the way home. Miss Tami waves us off, letting us know she was going to stop by the grocery store to pick up a salad for dinner.
“We’re having basagna for dinner.” Rowe rubs her hands over her belly while I fasten her seatbelt.
The huff of disappointment when I put her in the backseat was evident, so she scooted to the center where she could stare at State in the mirror.
“I love lasagna,” he sings back to her.
He waits until I’m settled in the front seat and buckled before starting the engine. A rap song blares about hoes and other foul concepts before he can turn it off. I give him a sideways look and he only shrugs.
“I was a bit fired up after practice.”
“Everything okay?” I ask, placing my hand on the top of his leg.
“Yeah, it is now.” He leans over and kisses me on the cheek.
“You guys are in love,” Rowe sings out the last word.
State peers at her in the rearview mirror, waggling his eyebrows.
“I’ve always loved Baylor.”
“Do you have music with good words?” She asks, brushing off his comment.
The statement hits me harder. He’s always loved me. My name inked across his back and his heart mine. My heart swells to a near bursting state.
“I love you, too,” I whisper, leaning forward to adjust the radio to a song Rowe approved. It only takes a minute for me to crank up Party In the USA.
State shakes his head at the music. Over the last few weeks, I’ve learned he’s into more intense music because it helps him amp up for games. However, I’ve also come to find out he’d let Rowe get away with anything.
“Homework while I set the table, Rowe.” I turn around to her. She sticks her tongue out at me.
“I have homework, too, Rowe. We can do it together,” State offers.
She beams back at him and nods his head.
“Not fair.” I protest.
“I have homework with you later,” he winks pulling into our drive.
“Five days away from you really is too long. FaceTime doesn’t cut it.”
“I know,” he growls.
Rowe hops from the backseat of the car and bounds up the stairs. I’ve never seen her so enthusiastic to start homework. She keeps good on her promise, working on her math problems, while I set the table and pop the pan of cooked lasagna in the oven to heat up.
I keep feeling stares my direction and when I peek over my shoulder I catch State staring.
“How’s that homework coming?” I ask.
“It’s not.”
“Bad boy. Work!” Rowe slaps the open textbook.
I laugh hard and turn back to prep the garlic bread. State’s planning on going into the social worker field. He’d be perfect with his gentle soul and kind heart. He’s opened up to me that his parents are less than impressed with his choice. His dad is a high power attorney and his mom is a surgeon. They had higher hopes for their son. I personally think it’s an asshole thought and they should be ashamed of it.
State talks highly of them, but there seems to be something off. He claims they only love football because he’s the best at it.
“I’m home,” Miss Tami sings out carrying in a few grocery bags into the kitchen.
I take them from her and finish getting dinner ready. Rowe squeals out that she’s finished, right when I’m ready to set the food out. Miss Tami has a hand on State’s shoulder peering over to his textbook. Her eyes beam with pride.
“So much has changed since I was in school.”
“Yeah, they have cars now and not horses and buggies,” State manages to get out with a straight face.
She pops him in the back of the head. “I’ve had to whip you once and I could do it again.”
I set down Rowe’s plate of food and look up at them. “You whipped State?”
State’s eyes grow wide with a twinge of embarrassment on his face. “You weren’t supposed to tell anyone.”
“I haven’t.” Miss Tami shrugs.
“When?” I ask not letting this topic go.
“She really didn’t whip or spank me, but took a ruler to me.”
“Oh my God.” I cover my mouth. “Miss Tami.”
“He pissed me off and wouldn’t listen to me.”
“You can’t hit kids,” I reply.
“I always thought of you two as mine and his temper was getting the best of him at school.”
State looks up to me with a smile. “It’s fine. It’s the year they threatened to separate us. I got into a really bad fight that day on the playground. No one could talk any common sense into me. Well, that’s until Hulk Hogan here snapped me to attention with a ruler.”
I begin chucking. I’ve rarely seen Miss Tami’s temper get the best of her.
“Only did it because I love you.” Miss Tami takes a seat. I place her plate down in front of her.
State refuses to let me make his plate.
“Sit.” He grabs my shoulders ushering me over to the table. He grazes my neck with his lips before gently pushing me down into the seat.
“Hey, I want food.” I protest.
He only turns his back to me, making his way over to the counter. He returns in a few seconds with two plates.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
We eat in silence until Rowe pipes up, taking her last bite. “Baylor, Mr. Moore asked where you’ve been.”
I choke on the swallow of lettuce th
“Who is Mr. Moore?” State asks.
I don’t have a chance to soften any blows, courtesy of Rowe.
“My principal. He gets googly eyes around her and wants to date her.”
“He what?” The veins in his thick neck pulse.
“State.” I cover his forearm. “I used to chat with him when I’d drop Rowe off. He came in for a massage and asked me out on a date.”
Okay, that was dumb. Honesty is not always the answer. I fear for the fork’s life in his hand as his knuckles turn white.
“You gave him a massage?”
“It’s my job, State.” My irritation level rises.
“It was good for Baylor.” Miss Tami sets her fork on her empty plate. “I was proud of her for talking to someone out of her environment. It was harmless.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, dropping my head and feeling ashamed.
“Rowe, let’s do dishes since Baylor set the table and prepared the food.” They both jump up, clearing the table and then running a hot soapy sink of water.
“I’m sorry, Baylor.”
I finally look up to State who’s staring down at me. Tears prick at the corner of my eyes.
“It’s not you and I was just a dick,” he whispers. “I want to be the man in your life.”
I fumble with my fingers in my lap, feeling shitty. “I’ve never had a boyfriend or gone out on a date, until your team party. It’s always been you, State.”
He cups my cheek in his large palm. “Listen to me. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
I nod at him. “I don’t like the way you just made me feel. Please don’t do it again.”
I’m shocked by the brutal honestly as it flows out of me.
“Never. Promise.” He wraps his pinky in mine.
State texts me all through the movie. Rowe claimed his lap, so I cuddled up with Miss Tami on the couch. I know she’s reading the messages over my shoulder and I’m okay with it. It may possibly happen that she’ll be talking me off a cliff later.
“He didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” she whispers down to me.
I nod knowing that fact. But it was just a tiny teaser of what heartbreak could feel like it. It’s an unsettling feeling I never want to experience. Fear begins to take over showing me just how fast everything can spiral out of control.
State: Quit biting your bottom lip, baby.
I peer down at my phone, but don’t reply.
State: I want to show you how damn sorry I am. You can’t blame me for being a jealous man. You’re my love.
State: Forever
Me: Watch the movie (smiley face emoticon)
State: Harsh
Me: You’re distracting.
And it goes on just like that right through Shrek. It’s not like I don’t have the movie memorized, but it does happen to be my favorite out of Rowe’s collection. I even love it now that Rowe calls State her Shrek.
State scoops Rowe up in his arms and packs her off to bed. Miss Tami tucks her in tonight while I go get in my pajamas. I hear State near and turn to see him in the frame of the door with his arms propped up over his head. The way the muscles strain in his arms, destroys me. He’s pure sex.
“You staying the night?” I ask feeling my tummy flip.
“Do you want me to?”
I close the distance between us, wrapping my arms around his middle, and look up at him.
“Yes.” I reach up to kiss his lips. “I freaked out for a second. I’m sorry that I overreacted.”
“No, it was me.”
He drops his hands, wrapping them around my waist, I’m up in his arms. My ankles lock around his back while my hands lace around his neck. When our skin connects my flesh tingles. He steals my breath when he presses his lips against mine. I let him kiss the hell out of me while backing us up to the bed.
We’ve done our fair share of making out during his visits. State has sent me into a fire of pleasure plenty of times, but that’s as far as it’s gone. He’s determined to make sure I’m ready and that I understand how good sex between two people who love each other can be.
He covers my body when he lays me on the bed never breaking our kiss. He pulls back, leaving my lips swollen and satisfied.
“I’m fucking going mad being away from you, Baylor.” He brushes his hand down my face.
“Me too.”
“I want to do something different tonight.”
My body stiffens. I’m not ready, but I also know that I can’t deny this man anything.
“Relax, baby, I know you’re not ready yet.”
“That obvious?” I ask with a smile.
“Like an open book, baby.”
He moves down my body raising my shirt to expose my abdomen. He lays kisses all over my skin. He drags down the lace panties under the over-sized sleep shirt. He never stops kissing me the lower he moves.
“State,” I moan out bucking up into him.
“I’m going to taste you.”
He dips his head again, pressing his lips into me. His movements are gentle feeding my hunger for him. I feel his tongue sweep through me and I’m forced to slap my palm over my mouth. The sensation is too much. It’s all too much as he swirls his tongue lapping me up and down.
He never adds a finger, only making love to me with his mouth. When he swirls my sensitive bud one last time, I fall over the edge screaming his name into my hand. He rises up with a smile on his face placing his finger over his lips. I giggle at his action.
He’s covering me again and we’re nose to nose when he places his lips on mine. I’m not ashamed to kiss him, soaking my taste from his lips.
“That’s sexy as hell, baby. God, I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
I place my hands on his shoulders to roll him off of me. A spark of courage lights up deep inside me when I crawl down his body. God bless gym shorts. They slide down his wide hips easily. The man is a giant compared to my petite frame.
I free him from his boxers and love the gasp that escapes him.
“Baylor.” He looks down at me. “You don’t have to.”
“I want to,” I offer before leaning over, grabbing the base of his thick cock.
I swirl my tongue over the head feeling empowered when he growls his approval. His hands lace into my hair. He doesn’t force me to do anything, just holds me. I take him in my mouth loving the feel of his silky, rock hard dick.
“Baylor,” he warns.
Driving him crazy like this has just become my favorite past time. I begin moving up and down him. I never reach the base not wanting an embarrassing moment of gagging. I add teeth and suck harder when he begins to buck up into my mouth.
“Enough. Enough, baby, stop.”
My nails dig into the flesh of his thighs, telling him I have no plans of stopping. I suck him harder and even take him deeper when his growls continue. I feel him pulse once before he’s trying to pry me from him, but I don’t budge a bit welcoming his release into my mouth. I don’t let go until I have him licked clean.
Once satisfied and my appetite for State is curbed, I climb back up his body, and collapse into his chest. His strong arms wrap around me pulling me in closer.
“Baylor.” He strokes my hair down my back.
“Yeah?”
“I want you to come to my opening home game.”
I raise my head to look up at him. My gut twists. I knew this was coming and it was going to be a point of contention. I don’t want to go. The team party was my limit. Will the Burnett family be there? Will I have an anxiety attack? I’ll be sitting alone the whole game. The same thoughts and questions have attacked me for the last month. I want to be there, but will I be able to?
“My parents will be there and I want you to meet them.”
I want to puke.
“Please.” He continues to brush my hair.
I bite my bottom lip and realize love is going to have to outweigh my fears. It’s the way life works. I have to quit being the victim of life and free myself.
I stroke his chest with pointer finger. “I’ll go.”
“You will?” He holds me up from his chest.
I laugh at his bated excitement. “Yes, State. I’m nervous, but I’ll go because I love you. You love football and I guess I want to see you kick ass in real time.”
“Real time? Have you been Googling me?”
“Maybe?” I shrug.
“Nice.” He smiles brightly.
“You’re vicious out on the field.”
“Yeah,” he nods. “It’s going to be even worse knowing my girl will be there.”
I shake my head at his King Titan attitude. The man has always devoured the game. Deep down, buried way under all my insecurities, I’m excited to watch him.
Eighteen
“Do you have your charger?”
“Yes.”
“Did you check the spare for your car?”
“Yes.” I pull up my thick curly hair into a messy bun and then secure it with an orange headband.
“Pepper spray?”
“Miss Tami, I’m going to a football game not into combat.”
Rowe and Tami stand in the doorway watching me get ready. You’d think she was sending her little girl off into the big wide world. Well, in a way I guess she is. This is a huge step for me. I’m busting out of my environment throwing all care to the wind. I thought I’d be sick from nerves when I woke up this morning, but they’ve never come.
Rowe chews on her little nails. I know she’s nervous. I’ve been very open about going to a football game since State asked a week and a half ago. I haven’t seen him since that night, other than FaceTime.
“Baylor.” I turn to see Rowe’s nervous face.
“Yes.” I kneel down in front of her.
“I made this for you, and one for State.”
She opens her palm to show me a two handmade braided bracelets. She used orange, white, and blue thread.
“I wanted to make them pink, but Miss Tami helped me.”
“They’re gorgeous.” I pull her into a tight hug.
I immediately tie the delicate bracelet on my wrist. Tears swell up in my eyes.
“I love you, Rowe. I love you so darn much. I’ll always be here for you. I’ll never leave you. Do you hear me?”
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