by HJ Bellus
“Thanks Shayne.”
I settle in by her in the large booth. I keep my palm planted on the empty space next to me, hoping like hell State will sit there. The conversation is light over the table with talk of football.
Shayne taps my shoulder. “Smile.”
She holds out her phone and snaps a picture, then posts it to her SnapChat story. She titles the picture “State’s Girl” and lines it with colorful heart emoticons.
“Do you have this app?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“What’s your username?”
I pull out my phone and look it up. I dismiss Shayne’s puzzled look.
“Um, it’s Princess B.”
She giggles.
“Rowe,” I offer.
Nineteen
State joins us nearly thirty minutes later. He slides right in next to me and places a kiss to my temple.
“Love you,” he whispers.
I turn to him with a leap of courage and kiss him on the lips. “I love you, too, number seven.”
Eventually, I look up glancing in Martha’s direction. Her eyes are puffy and most of her make-up has vanished. His dad greets me with a warm smile, yet Martha makes no eye contact.
We order our food. I wanted to order a ham and cheese sandwich off the menu, but after hearing the others all order steak and lobster, I feel dumb.
State squeezes the top of my thigh. “Want do you want?”
I look up to him and then point to the menu. He sends me a slight grin. State orders the largest steak with extra potatoes and a large salad. The waitress then glances at me waiting for me to place my order.
“She’ll have the ham and cheese sandwich with fries, and a side salad with Italian dressing please.”
I place my hand on top of his, squeezing it to thank him. I remain silent next to State staring down at the table most of the time while the football talk entertains the rest of the group. Momma Pete is the perfect combination to lighten the mood. She brings up Shayne’s next competition and how she’s in contention for Nationals this year.
State’s mom beams proudly, going on and on about how proud of Shayne she is, and what an honorable young lady she is. I don’t miss the jabs my way.
“What do you do, Baylor?” I look up at State’s dad.
I clear my throat and try to speak, but nothing comes out. “She’s enrolled at a community college majoring in pharmaceuticals, teaches dance, is a licensed masseuse, and works as a server.”
“Wow, ambitious girl.” He smiles back at me. “Martha’s a surgeon. Both women in the medical field.”
“Most students never finish schooling in the medical field.” She shrugs coldly.
“Martha,” State warns.
There’s more meaning behind the use of her name coming from State. Tears begin to well up in my eyes. I don’t think I can do this.
My phone lights up on the tabletop. It’s a FaceTime call from Miss Tami.
“Answer it.” State pulls his arm from my leg and wraps his arm around me.
“Are you sure?” I nod toward the rest of the party at our booth.
“Go ahead, sweetie,” Momma Pete encourages me.
I slide the green button across and wait for faces to appear. Shayne leans in looking at the screen. Pretty soon one large eyeball fills the screen. It’s Rowe.
“Baylor? Shrek?” She yells into the screen.
“Hold the phone back, Rowe.” I hear Miss Tami’s voice.
“Hey princess,” State says loudly.
He holds his wrist up showing her the bracelet.
“I saw you on TV, and the bracelet.”
“Brought me good luck, princess. I even scored a touchdown.”
“I know,” she squeals. “Miss Tami was screaming so loud.”
Rowe continues to move the phone closer to her face, giving us the perfect view of both of her eyeballs and even a clear shot up her nose.
“Want to meet my coach and teammates?”
“Yes!” She squeals.
We both exchange shocked looks. It’s football, and her heart is open and happy.
State leans the phone over to his coach. He takes it in his hands, with Momma Pete leaning over and waving.
“Hi.” The coach offers her a weak smile.
“Do you like princesses?” I hear her ask.
“Sure do, and football even more.”
I can imagine her wrinkling her nose back at him.
“Who else is there?”
We all share a muffled laugh when Rowe so easily loses interest in one of the most high-powered coaches in the nation. He passes the phone over to Ryder who holds Rowe’s attention. I’m sure it’s his good looks and can only imagine her adjusting her invisible crown on the top of her head.
“I’m the one who throws the football,” he offers mid-conversation.
“I only like number seven.”
State doesn’t stifle his loud laugh at that comment. “That’s my girl.”
Ryder waves bye and offers the phone to State’s mom.
“No.” She shakes her head.
State pulls the phone from Ryder’s hand. His pissed off glare instantly morphs into a genuine smile when he stares back at Rowe and a part of Miss Tami’s shoulder.
“When are you guys coming home?” She asks with a hopeful tone to her voice.
He answers immediately. “Late tonight. You’ll be tucked in and in sweet dreams, but we will share waffles in the morning.”
“Pop Tarts promise.”
“Pop Tarts promise, sweetie.”
“Love you, Rowe.”
“Love you, too.”
We end the call and intertwine our hands again.
“You had to be what sixteen?” State’s mom asks.
I finally find my voice. No one ever fucks with Rowe. “Excuse me, Martha?”
“You had to be what, maybe, fifteen when you had her?”
State begins to cut her off, but I squeeze his hand to stop her.
“No, actually. Rowe is one of THOSE orphan girls. Miss Tami and I took her in after she suffered unimaginable abuse.” I don’t break my stare with her. “Any other questions?”
Our food arrives and I’ve never devoured a meal so intently. Momma Pete brings the conversation back to football between her bites of lobster. Everyone seems to be professionals at diverting the real conversations of life and standing up for what’s right. It’s the first time I realize State being adopted may not have been all it seemed.
He devours his meal while keeping his hands all over me. He feeds me bites of his steak every once a while between quick kisses to my cheek. State fits with me, not his family.
His dad wraps me up in a hug before I climb into the car. Martha remains in the background. State doesn’t offer her a hug or even a good-bye, even though they’re catching the redeye in the morning.
“I’m sorry.” He slams the door and picks up his phone. He doesn’t offer anymore explanation to me. His knuckles go white around the steering wheel.
His voice is harsh and clipped. “I told you to respect her, that you didn’t have to understand it, but I demand nothing but respect for Baylor. You were a heartless bitch, mother. I hate saying it, but you forced it. I don’t want to hear from you until you have an apology.”
I hear her voice scramble on the other end of the phone.
State only replies with. “I don’t give a shit. Apology or nothing. I don’t want to hear from you until then. Got it?”
He throws the phone down on his console, slams the middle of the steering wheel, and then tosses his hat into the backseat.
“State, you didn’t have to.”
“Bull fucking shit,” he growls.
“Don’t do this. You’ll ruin everything with your family.”
“You’re my family and all I need. End of story.”
I know I should reply with something, but there are no words. He’s defending me. The only way for me to fix it would be to walk away, but I’m self
ish and will never do that.
Twenty
The house is dark and silent when we walk in. We’re careful not to make any noise getting to my bedroom. I’m thankful for my personal bathroom off my bedroom. I flick the lights on and lock my bedroom door.
“I’m going to get ready for bed,” I offer.
State sits on the side of my bed with his face buried in his hands. My heart hurts for him right now and I want to take away his pain. It’s a tough thing to do when pain brought us together in the beginning. I shed my game day clothes and slip into a white cami, then go about washing my face and applying moisturizer.
There’s a light knock on the bathroom door. “Can I come in?”
I reach over and twist the knob, smoothing in the last of the lotion. Our eyes connect and there’s a fire in his. His hands are on my waist, tangling in my panty line before he lifts me up to sit on the counter. He stares down into my eyes, not taking advantage of my mouth.
“I’ll fucking protect you from anything.”
“It’s hurting you.” I brush my finger down his jawline.
“It’s fucking hurting me that someone had the nerve to talk to you like that.”
“I’m a big girl.” I smile up at him.
He places both hands on either side of my hips, palms down. “Nobody will disrespect my queen.”
I cup his jaw in my hands. “Thank you.”
Our lips connect, and we kiss hard and fast. It’s been way too long since we’ve been alone. I float back to him on the field, ruling it. I edge toward him. scooting my butt to the end of the countertop.
“You were so damn sexy out on that field, State.”
“That was the best game of my life. It was like my world finally came full-circle.”
“Mine too.” I smile. “I actually learned a little bit about football.”
He pulls back, still clutching to my hips. “Tell me.”
I scrunch my lips to the side and think for a second. “There’s four quarters, it’s your job to shut down the plays, the offense has four tries, and it’s good when you hit the quarterback.”
“Four tries to do what?”
I nibble on my bottom lip. “Honestly, you never let me see that part.”
He chuckles deep. “That’s good. Real good, Queen.”
I drop my forehead to his, close my eyes tightly, and whisper to him. “I’m ready for you.”
“Baylor.” My name rolls off his lips in a sexy-ass tone.
“I’m sure. I need you.”
My words send him into action. My heart skitters and my body aches with need as he roams his hands up my sides. He pulls the cami over my head leaving me bare to him. State roams his eyes down my chest to the only thing separating us — my lacey panties. I throb for his touch.
I reach forward, grabbing both of his hands and bringing them to my body, then lean forward and brush my lips across his. I dart my tongue out, running it over his. I leave his hands on my sides with his thumb grazing the underside of each of my breasts.
My hands trail down his sides, peeling his shirt over his head then to his gym shorts. They tug down, easily dropping to the floor. His tight boxers offer up more of a challenge to pull down. He’s exposed to me. I can’t control my hands as I grab the base of him and begin stroking him to the tip. He remains frozen under my touch.
The feel of hypnotizing him with my touch makes me powerful. I never want to stop touching, kissing, and being with him. His breath catches in his throat as heat pools in my core. State gently lifts me from the countertop, taking me to the bed.
He lays me down gently on the top of my duvet. My skin flushes with heat when his stare devours my skin. I reach up a hand to him and he takes it without a word. His other hand drags my panties slowly down my thighs. The feel of the material scraping my skin is erotic. My insides coil and I need him so badly. I’ve never needed anything like this before.
State sets everything inside of me on fire. He breaks our connection and runs his palms underneath each of my thighs, bringing my legs up over his shoulders. He clutches my ass in his hands, bringing me closer to the edge of the bed. State sinks to his knees. His beautiful face disappears between my legs and I feel his tongue dart out. I shiver with pleasure and ache even more for him.
He takes me in his mouth, licking and tasting me with his tongue. My hips move up into him, needing more. The bundle of pleasure builds rapidly, deeper inside me. I’m going to reach my goal in a matter of no time. It only takes one harsh swirl around my clit to send me over. I grip onto his hair and buck up even harder, riding out the last wave.
“You’re so wet,” he hisses.
He climbs up my body easing me comfortably back in the center of the bed. He keeps one hand cupping me while covering his mouth with mine. I devour his lips letting him know how much I need him. He sinks one finger into me.
“State,” I whimper.
“You have to be ready, Queen.” He licks his lips while working me over with his fingers.
I find my hips bucking up into his touch. I’m all sorts of worked-up, falling again into pleasure. I open my legs wider for him, letting him settle between them. He brings his hand to his mouth, seductively licking off each finger. I take his mouth with mine helping him soak up the rest of the taste he elicited from me.
I feel the tip of him lined up perfectly where I want him.
“I got on birth control after the first night you came here for me.”
“You did?” He’s shocked and it’s simply adorable.
I nod to him. “Make love to me, State.”
I see the question on his bottom lip that’s clutched with his teeth.
“I’ve always used condoms, Baylor.”
“Something I don’t want to think about right now, baby.” I brush his cheek.
He clenches his eyes shut, reaches down between us, grabbing the base of his throbbing need, he lines up the tip until he’s pushing into me.
“If it hurts, I’ll…”
“Shut up, State.” I pull his face down closer to mine.
My hips thrust up into him, helping him. He slips in inch by inch stretching me to the limit. I’m not well-diversed in this area of life, but like every other aspect of State, he’s a giant. I focus, taking oxygen in and out of my nose while never breaking our stare. Breathe in, breath out, Baylor. He squeezes his eyes shut when he’s all the way in me.
“Fuck, fuck, holy shit, Queen.”
“Oh my God, baby,” I whimper. “Feels so good to have you in me.”
He slowly begins to move in and out of me. My hands roam down his strong back until I have my fingertips grazing the top of his ass cheeks. Tears begin to roll down the side of my face. His hands catch each one.
“Okay?”
It takes me a few moments to finally respond and it’s only with a nod of my head. There are no words to describe the feeling of what’s happening right now. It’s surreal, all mind numbing, and making me whole in the same aspect. My world is complete.
Gently, I lift my face to his and take his lips with mine. I mimic his action with my lips and cry into him when he hits the spot that sends me over the edge. I feel his body begin to tremble, and then his growls vibrate against my chest when I feel him release in me. He shudders and then collapses down, keeping most of his weight balanced on his shoulders.
“Jesus, Baylor.”
“I love you so much, State.”
“It’s more than love, Queen.”
After several long moments of silence, he stands from the bed leaving me naked and feeling open to the world. I hear the running of the water in the bathroom and then see him appear with a warm wash cloth. He spreads my legs and runs it over me, cleaning me.
When he returns once again from the bathroom, he scoops me up like a baby cradling me to his chest. I brush back the hair matted to the sides of my face and look up into his eyes.
“Thank you for coming back to me, always saving me, and giving me all of you, State.”
Twenty-One
Our limbs are tangled underneath the sheets. I’m not sure where I begin and end when pressed against State’s chest. He’s still breathing heavily, deep in sleep. The rhythm of his chest rising and falling against me lulls me back to sleep.
I wake to a little squeaking voice out in the living room. I can barely make out Miss Tami’s voice trying to convince her to put in a movie until we wake up. It warms my heart knowing she assumes State is with me. My family forever.
I try to weave from State’s body without waking him. He has to be sore and exhausted from yesterday. I can’t imagine how his muscles feel. I sneak into the bathroom to brush my teeth and check my hair, and also make sure my all my clothes are covering the right parts.
Slowly and very quietly, I shut the door. Rowe is bounding into me, wrapping her arms around my legs, and squealing my name.
“Baylor.”
I lean over and pick her up. “Oh, I missed you little one.”
I shower her with kisses and then place my nose in the crook of her neck sniffing around. It’s her crazy ticklish spot, always guaranteed to get a hearty laugh out of her. She’s already dressed in a petal pink princess dress, tutu, and a pair of my high heels.
“Is Shrek here?” She brushes her bangs away. “Wait, I know he is. His car is here.”
“Sssshhhh.” I place my finger over my lips. “Let’s let him sleep. He’s tired from his game.”
“Oh, is that all he’s tired from?” Miss Tami asks from her chair.
I look up to her and she sends me a wink.
“Ha ha, very funny.” I wrinkle my nose and then automatically replay last night. We were silent. I turn from her to hide the blush of embarrassment painting my face.
“Let’s start those waffles.”
“Waffles,” she growls out, imitating Donkey from Shrek.
By some sort of miracle we quietly get the bowls out and the batter started with no sign of waking State. I decide on cutting up some fresh fruit to pair with the waffles. Rowe is distracted with her Rapunzel doll on the floor. She’s threatening to cut her hair off, making me smile. She gets into character so easily with the biggest imagination to top it all off.
