Johnny shoves my arm as I squeeze off a shot, which blows a fist-sized hole into a tree. He wrenches the gun from my hand, screaming his head off as Vince shoves his gun into his pants.
“Jesus fucking Christ, you goddamn moron.” Vince says savagely as Rafael stands strangely still, indifferent to the fact that he almost died. “Here’s what’s going to happen. You leave them the fuck alone. You’re done with them. Come back to New York and forget about Elena.”
“That’s impossible.”
“Until paternity is established, you leave them the fuck alone. Tony, does that work for you?”
No. Not by a long shot.
My insides simmer as Rafael looks at me with a wild, desperate rage that I just can’t ignore. I don’t trust him to stay away, not even to protect his own life. My hand inches toward the knife I’ve strapped to my waist, because I’m convinced he’s on the verge of doing something drastic.
“Whatever.”
“Vincent, this is bullshit!”
The New York boss finally loses his temper and whirls around, his jacket whistling in the air as his fist cracks across Rafael’s jaw.
“You’re a real pain in my ass, Rafael. Piss me off again, and I’ll kill you.”
Even as he moans on the dirty snow, I can’t look away from him. The whining, the moans, it all sounds so fucking fake to me. The steely vengeance flashes from his eyes and I just want to end him right there.
There’s nothing more dangerous than a man with nothing to lose.
Chapter Nine
Elena
Swirls of coffee steam rise in the air in wonderful spirals as I blow air across the rich, dark-brown liquid. I take a sip and my tongue curls, loving the sprinkle of spice. I smile at Melanie, who sits across the table. She called me up on the phone and wondered if I wanted to go out for coffee. All Tony’s doing, probably.
“So, what’s married life like?”
I shrug my shoulder. How the hell should I know? The whole thing is a farce, except that there really is a baby growing inside me.
I still can’t fucking believe it.
Call it karma or cosmic justice, but this was the last thing I wanted. What would Dad say? My insides clench as I think about the horrified reaction on his face. He probably would be glad that at the very least, I’m marrying the guy who knocked me up.
And then what? For the life of me, I can’t picture what my future is supposed to look like. I have this kid, and then what?
Two words: single mom.
It’s a pretty bleak future, but somehow it makes the lies a little more forgivable. Lying to them was hard because it was really like inheriting a second family. There were so many gifts and hugs and kisses on the cheek, and everyone was so friendly.
’Course they are. You’re his wife. If you weren’t married, they’d tell you to fuck off.
“Everything happened so quickly.”
Even the ring on my finger feels foreign, as though I’m in someone else’s body. Though, of course, we’re supposed to keep up with this charade and I’m supposed to be—what? It’s not exactly a girl’s dream to marry the guy who knocks you up.
“I can’t even imagine what you must be going through.”
“Honestly, I just want a good bagel from home. The ones here—they’re not really the same.”
“God, I know!” Melanie happily seizes on the topic and we spend time reminiscing about home.
“And what the hell is with the kissing? It’s a bit weird, isn’t it?”
“Nah, I’m pretty sure it’s a French thing. Like shaking hands. I think they call it, la bise.”
I click my tongue and let the French roll over my tongue. “La bees.”
She laughs at my poor attempt and I throw a napkin at her. The door opens and a gust of cold air make me clasp my mug of hot coffee.
“Oh, hey, Tony.”
I look up in surprise to see my husband giant form standing over us with a very dark look on his face. He ignores Melanie’s greeting.
“Get up, you’re leaving.”
“I just got here. What’s your problem?” I shoot Melanie a look, silently apologizing for his rudeness.
“We need to fucking talk,” he says in a voice that bears no argument. Then he turns toward Melanie. “Sorry about this.”
Melanie waves him off, looking slightly disappointed as I stand up.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with him. We’ll do it again sometime.”
“Yeah, sure.”
An impatient rap on the glass makes my muscles tense. What the fuck is his problem? I follow him outside.
“You were so rude to her,” I tell him the moment the door swings shut. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
He grabs my wrist and drags me to a secluded corner, his lips white and shaking. “I’ll tell you what’s wrong with me. You’re a fucking liar.”
“What?”
The acidic tone cuts me to my core. I don’t know what he’s talking about, but the vicious look he gives me makes me swallow down bitter guilt.
“You were pregnant with that jackass’s kid the whole time, weren’t you? He told me that he made you take pregnancy tests.” He searches my stunned face. “Well, is it true?”
“Tony, that’s not really—”
“Jesus.”
His eyes fracture in pain and he turns away from me as though he can’t stand the sight of me. I feel like the worst human being on the planet.
“Tony, I have to tell you what happened.”
“Fucking save it,” he hurls over his shoulder.
I step in front of him. The furious look on his face scares me—that hint of a predator that I saw in the bar lifts his head and glares at me—and I swallow hard, hoping he won’t just brush me aside.
“Trust me, you want to hear this.” I take a deep, shuddering breath. “It was the day I went to get some of my stuff. Rafael was waiting for me, and he had the tests. He wanted to know it was true.” I swallow hard as Tony gives me a venomous look. “They were positive. I didn’t know I was pregnant.
“Tony—it’s your—it’s your baby.”
“What?”
He stands there, his white face suddenly bloodless like the snow under his feet. The silence is deafening between us. The traffic from the street muffles to a distant murmur as my heart beats in my head. My mouth opens and closes. Why the fuck is this so hard?
Please don’t hate me.
I talk in a very small voice. “I—I forgot to take my pills, my birth control, the first…couple times we were together.”
“You what? You forgot to take your fucking pills?”
I nod shamefacedly and he swears so loudly that it echoes down the alley.
“I don’t believe this.”
“It’s real. I’ve been to the doctor. I-I’m sorry, Tony.”
His hands tremble as he rakes them through his hair, looking anywhere but at me. He doesn’t want to acknowledge it. I don’t blame him.
I’m sorry I got pregnant with your kid, who you obviously don’t want. I’m sorry I entered into your life at all.
I’m just sorry.
“When were you going to fucking tell me?”
“I know, it’s just—there was so much shit going on, and I was afraid to tell you,” I force myself to raise my voice, “and I just want to say that you don’t have to do anything—you don’t have to be in its life. I totally understand.”
He seizes his hair and pulls, shaking his head. “I cannot fucking believe this.”
My heart stalls. I knew it—I knew he’d be like this, but it’s still like a spike to my heart.
“I’m sor—”
“I don’t want this!” he explodes. “What kind of fucking father can I be? I’m not fit to be one at all.”
Tears spill down my cheeks. “That’s not true.”
“How the fuck would you know?”
He looks at me with the air of someone being clubbed on the head. He’s right, isn’t
he? He’s a Mafioso. I’m just waiting to die, he said.
“You’re a good man. I know you don’t like to believe it—”
Wild, strangled laughter cuts me off. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, but you are dead wrong about that. You don’t know me. You don’t know a thing about the life I lead.”
“Actually, I do. My dad was a boss, remember?”
That shit-eating grin is back on his face as he pins me against the wall, nudging my thighs open with his leg. I always feel so small when he surrounds me like that. It’s not just his size. It’s his presence: overwhelming and intoxicating at the same time. The energy between us shifts as he takes my waist in his hands, as his knee grinds my pussy. It’s electric. My heart pounds, and I can’t breathe as he leans in closer.
“Yeah, I know all about you Mafia princesses. Daddy would have never showed you the dark side of his business. You only saw the clothes, the jewelry, the charity gala dinners—”
“I’m not an idiot, Tony. I read the papers, and I was smart enough not to swallow every lie he tried to feed us.”
“Reading about it in the paper,” he sneers. “Last night, I spent eight hours torturing some poor fuck with his head trapped in a vise. Do you know what happens to someone’s head when it’s crushed? The eyes pop out.”
A cruel mask slides over Tony’s face, and it occurs to me that he might be right. That I might not know this man at all. Darkness swirls in his eyes, but they’re the same ones that dented with pain when told me that he never wanted this life for himself.
“Why are you trying to scare me?” My voice grows stronger. “What exactly are you trying to accomplish, here? The baby’s coming whether you like it or not.”
“I’m trying to make you understand that I’m not a good man. I shouldn’t be in any kid’s life. I’m nothing but a bad influence.”
“You don’t have to be in its life.”
The thigh nudges me again, and a ripple of desire moves up my body. The things he says makes my stomach cave in. Pressure builds up behind my eyes, and I’m pissed off, too. I don’t believe that he’d be a bad influence. He’s the one who saved me without asking for a single dime in return.
“I’m going to be in the kid’s life. I just don’t know for how long.” He touches my face gently as another tear rolls down my cheek. His other hand curls around my waist, smoothing over my belly. His gaze softens for a moment. Then suddenly he pulls my arm and I scramble after him in the streets.
“Tony, where are we going?”
We stop in front of his car and he opens the door, pointing inside.
“Get in.”
During the car ride home, Tony keeps a stoic silence that I think is a front for his barely constrained panic. I study the tic in his jaw, the way his eyes focus on the streets without ever once glancing at me, and I wonder what the hell he’s thinking. I wonder if he’ll just end things between us.
Can I blame him?
When we get home, Tony dissolves into nervous energy. I show him the test results from the doctor, the missing pills from my birth control, and it all crashes on his head. The paper trembles in his hand. I can’t tell whether he’s furious or terrified.
“It’s really mine?”
My arms wrap around my middle as he looks at me under his dark locks. “I’m positive.”
He lets out a long exhale and collapses into a chair in the kitchen. The test results sit on the kitchen table, and he stares at the paper as if it’ll magically turn negative if he looks at it long enough. I can’t stand the sight of him like this.
Shaking, I leave the kitchen to sit on the sofa in the living room. I try to imagine raising a kid in this place, and then in my mind’s image I see Tony’s face, contorted with rage as a shrill cry wakes him up from sleep. He didn’t ask for this. Is it fair to expect him to take responsibility? Should I do everything because it’s my fault? Is it my fault?
Heavy footsteps creak over the floorboards and finally come to a rest where I sit. His hand drops on my head, smoothing my face. I turn, and he grips a fistful of hair. It’s painful.
What the fuck?
I open my mouth to tell him to let me go, but the expression he wears stops me. His smile is more like a dark grin, and his eyes simmer with unbridled lust.
My throat closes.
“Get up.”
He tugs my hair and I follow the pressure, standing up as he weaves an arm around my neck. My blood beats hard into his skin. His mouth hisses over my neck like a knife.
“You’re such a slick little rat, aren’t you?”
“What?”
His hips shift, digging his rock-hard bulge into my back as he pushes me forward, toward the bedroom.
“Your plan was to get some asshole to fill you with his cum. To get you knocked up.”
His hand drops to my chest, groping my tits through my shirt.
“No fucking way!”
Hot lips graze over my ear, his soft voice adding a hot line of desire all the way to my pussy.
“Except, I’m not just some asshole who’s going to let you leave with my kid. I’m going to give you what you want, baby.”
My back hits the bedroom door and it flies open, banging into the wall. My heart pounds into my throat as his lips touch my neck, stinging my skin as he sucks hard. I don’t know what the fuck he’s talking about, but every movement on my skin is like a trail of fire.
He turns me around so that his heated lips are against mine. “I’m going to fuck you and fill you with my cum every day, and after our kid is born,” he touches my belly and I feel a small thrill in my chest, “I won’t stop until I get you knocked up again, and again.”
The breath catches in my throat. “I—I thought you didn’t want kids.”
“I always wanted kids. I just didn’t want them while I was in the life, but that ship has fucking sailed. I’m going to have the family I always wanted, and you’re going to give it to me.”
Tony, I love you.
My heart swells and beats a little faster as I realize how true it is. I want to tell him. Maybe it’s because he’s embracing this fucked-up situation with open arms, or maybe it’s because he makes my panties melt without touching me.
I rip off my shirt and Tony’s eyes watch my tits as he reaches around, undoing my bra. It slides down my arms and then I bend over to remove the jeans and soaking panties from my waist.
“Such an obedient wife.” Tony’s grin stretches over his handsome face as he cups his hand over my pussy, gliding his finger over my clit. My legs shiver. “You really are made for me.”
A low growl reverberates in his throat as he runs his hand up my waist, cupping my tits as his forefinger and thumb pinch my hard nipple. I arch my back as he touches the sensitive flesh and I reach up, grabbing his rough face to kiss him. It’s hard because he’s so much taller than I am, but he bends his neck and his soft lips seal against mine. It’s like having the flu: the shaking weakness, sensitive skin, the heat burning your skin. That’s what he’s like. Then I know that I’m bound to him for as long as he wants because he makes me feel like this. Because I love him.
I’ll do anything for him.
Maybe there’s a part of him that knows that. He pulls back with a very satisfied smirk, as though he already knows how bad I’ve got it for him.
“Get on the bed and put your hands over your head.”
I lie on the bed, my core pounding in anticipation as he rummages through the nightstand and pulls out heavy silver handcuffs. He’s never used them on me. It gives me a strange thrill to feel the cool metal burning against my skin as it clicks around my wrist, and then on the headboard behind me. He removes another pair from his nightstand, grinning like a devil as he tightens them around my ankles and attaches them to rope that he has tied around the legs of his bed.
Tied up and helpless, I watch as he retrieves another instrument from his nightstand. It looks like a purple, U-shaped vibrator.
Oh fuck.
“You need to
be punished first.” His face hardens suddenly.
“For what?”
“Don’t give me that fucking look,” he snaps. “You didn’t tell me that your ex ambushed you at your apartment. We’re married, now. No more fucking secrets.”
He’s right.
Then he clicks a button and the vibrator hums madly in his hands. I watch him as he walks between my legs with deliberate slowness, and then I feel one of the arms sinking inside me. The other one slides over my clit, holding me in place like a paper clip.
I buck madly in my restraints, my heart rate jacked as both arms stimulate me. Pleasure rolls through me, slicing and zapping, and Tony smiles as he sits on the edge of the bed, fully dressed. Eventually he lies beside me.
“I like having you like this. Easy access. Or I could just jack off to you all day.”
“What are you trying to do?” My voice bursts out of me into a growl.
He laughs at my rage and reaches out, touching my leg. The slight touch sends a jolt to my pussy, like an electric current.
Oh God.
My mind screams out for more as his laughter rolls over me like hot drops of rain down my back. It infuriates me to see him smiling sweetly as I jerk and twist on the bed, pleasure riding up my pussy. It jackknifes into my core mercilessly. My chest feels as if there’s a lamp hanging over my naked skin, burning. And then I feel it rippling through my core. My orgasm clenches my pussy hard as I gasp into my arm, avoiding Tony’s face.
“Aw, did you come? Poor baby.”
His fingers dig into my thigh as shock waves run through my body. Slowly he inches his hand up my thigh. It’s slow and torturous, and the vibrator doesn’t let up. Within seconds my heart hammers against my chest and electric shocks of desire slam into my pussy. Tony smiles as I let out a shrill gasp and then a moan as he envelops my pussy with his hand, muffling the sound of the vibrator for a moment.
He leans over me, the heat of his body pressing into my side as he gently wipes strands clinging to my lips while his other hand massages me. He applies pressure to the device, and I arch my back as he suddenly hits a sensitive spot. A slow grin spreads over Tony’s rugged face as he presses down. Another searing spike of pleasure jolts up my pussy and his warmth is tantalizingly close. I think of his naked body, the weight of him when he’s deep inside me. I want his thick cock pulsing inside me, feeding the ache that burns for more.
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