“As I’ll ever be,” I exhale nervously. “And if we don’t leave now I will either throw up or lock myself in the bathroom.”
“Let’s go then,” Jace quickly says and knows how I’ll be. I will chicken out if we aren’t in the car and heading to my parents within the next few minutes. “This room is too stuffy, so hopefully the fresh air will help you out.”
“I highly doubt it,” I snort as I go for my purse.
By the time I have it hitched over my shoulder, Jace is already at the door and holding it open for me. If it wasn’t for him looking both ways down the corridor, I could almost fool myself that we were merely on vacation. I ignore his alert posture and try to keep myself calm. Within twenty minutes I will be in front of my old family home and confronted with a lot of memories, nightmares, and home truths.
When we make it outside, I feel my lungs relish the feel of fresh air filtering into them, instead of the musty air from our room. Taking my hand, Jace unlocks a black Camaro, and we rush over to it. He’s not willing to keep us hanging around in the open air any longer than necessary, and once he has the engine running and we’re buckled in, he drives out of the parking lot and joins the traffic.
Now I’m trapped, I keep my eyes looking out of the window, taking in the familiar scenery. I take in the luscious homes, the sky scraping palm trees, the bright weather and signs. This place will always be more than just home to me. The summer feel of Miami Springs hasn’t changed and the Floridian weather is still at its peak. I feel like I never left.
I slide my hands down my jeans. I’ve been sitting with them clasped tightly, the sweat building upon my palms in trepidation for what we’ll find. I look ahead just in time to catch movement from Jace in my peripheral vision. He’s reaching for me.
“Your hands are clammy,” he states the moment our hands join.
I smile weakly. “I’m nervous.”
“They love you,” Jace comments dryly, not allowing me to dispute the point. “I promised to give you your family back. I’ve managed to keep all my promises, now I have to make this one happen.”
I smile tightly, but force myself to look at him. “It’s not that. I know they love me and always will, but it’s that first initial moment of seeing them. I don’t want to see something I don’t want to.” I sigh, more trying to shift the nervous energy gripping me. “I don’t want to see the shock, or hell, the horror of me just turning up. How do we even know they’ll be home?”
“Josh,” Jace smirks confidently, keeping his eyes on the traffic ahead. “He told me that your parents haven’t moved and won’t. They’re waiting for you to come back.” I just stare at him. I don’t do anything, just stare. “I was emailing him earlier,” Jace comments after seeing the confusion fall upon my entire expression. “He’s a little in shock Delvine found you and is trying to get Eli to find anything out. I will find out how the hell she found us.”
“Today she can wait,” I tell him and squeeze his hand tightly. I mean it, today I don’t want her to cloud anything. Clara Delvine will not destroy my first meeting with my family after all this time. “Today I want my parents to meet the man who saved me. I want them to see how I’ve grown up.” I pause for a moment, taking an almighty breath. It’s cleansing and reaches right down into my soul. The intake is so fierce my eyes flutter close for a moment. When I open them again, I admit one final truth. “Today, I want them to know what happened to me.”
“Joely,” Jace gasps, and I can tell this is news to him. Before I used to preach how I never wanted them to know, how they would hate me for it, but I can’t be free of Clara entirely if I just lie to them. Then all I have to worry about is breaking my contact.
“I want them to know, Jace,” I tell him, my tone arguing with him but not threatening. “I just need them to understand what happened to me.”
Jace gives me a quick look and then grins wildly at me. “You’re like a phoenix, Lee.” His comment catches me off-guard and I’m wordless to respond. When my silence is met with him, he laughs. “You became this beautifully strong woman from a weak, manipulated object. You’re exactly like a phoenix.” He lifts my hand up as he finishes his analogy, kissing along my knuckle. “From ashes comes beauty.”
And as we pull into my old street, I know now is one of the moments I have waited years to have back.
My present and future are about to meet my past.
***
I look up at the house, and I don’t dare to breathe. It’s as if I’m cast back four years. The house hasn’t changed; the flowers still cared for lovingly, the lawn still cut to perfection. There is still the same chair set on one side of the porch where Dylan, Josh, and I spent many evenings with our friends. The swinging chair still sits on the other side of the door and the only thing that seems to have changed is the lick of paint and the cushions now on the seats.
I look at Jace, my eyes watering, and bite my lip.
“Go on,” Jace guides me forth with a soft murmur. His hand is pressed to the bottom of back, offering me the leadership my mind forgot I needed.
I take a gulp, to level my breathing and still my racing heart. I take a slow step, followed by another. My walk to the front door is not rushed, if anything I’m riddled with nerves and hesitancy and want back to disappear back into our motel room. I raise my hand to the button for the door bell and press it. I’m now standing here like a stranger, an intruder, waiting for the people inside to open up.
When the door pulls away from the frame, I am met with a waft of a familiar smell – baking, fresh flowers, and my mother’s perfume. It was a scent that always greeted me when I came home, regardless of the time or day. It was one of the perks of having a housewife as a mother, she was always here, always waiting.
As light from the back of the house permeates through the large corridor leading to the kitchen I am met with my mother. She's still as beautiful as ever, the light behind her almost like a bright aura. The smile drops from her face the moment she realizes who’s standing before her. My breathing falters as I watch her grasp the door frame for support.
"Joely?" she utters with a thick voice. The emotions are pulling hard at her, my presence wreaks havoc upon her. "Oh my," she speaks again, this time standing straighter. She takes a slow step forward, possibly worried I'll disappear.
“Hey Mom,” I whisper tearfully, not sure what else I can say.
What she does next jolts me into reality. She takes a swift step forward, reaching out for me quickly only to wrap her arms around me and pull me tight against her body. I react and wrap my arms around her, getting one of the main things I have dreamed about for all the time I have been gone. I nuzzle my face into her neck, just holding onto her tightly. She hugs back just as fierce and all at once the distance I created between us disperses.
“I didn’t think you’d ever come back,” she murmurs and pulls away, her arms never leaving me. She then looks to Jace and back at me.
“This is Jace,” I tell her, my voice is so sweet and delicate as I hunt for the motherly approval. “My husband.”
Her eyes widen and she then begins to grin. “It was hard to tell from the photo.”
“Photo?” I huff, knowing there is only one culprit. “Josh?” I ask and cross my arms over my chest. “Josh sent you the photos, didn’t he?”
“No, he brought them to me,” she announces and again the same sad smile graces her lips. “You looked so beautiful and happy, Sweetheart,” she speaks sadly, her hand going to her heart. “I wish I’d have been there.”
“Mrs. Gilbert, one day I will make sure you are there,” Jace intercepts, extending his hand out to take my mother’s so he can greet her properly. “Jace Mason.” He takes her hand, only to kiss it like a true gentleman. “It’s lovely to finally meet you. I’ve been trying to get Joely back to you for quite some time.”
“Mom,” I break into the moment, “I’m done running.” I don’t know if it’s enough to warrant me a place back in the family fold, but I need to b
e here, I need to look for some forgiveness.
“Then you stop,” she murmurs at me, in her motherly tone. She ushers us in, ready to start anew with me in their life along with Jace.
I’m led into the house and now I’m reminded of the time change. The house has been decorated, showing how Carrie and I are no longer living here. This is a home for my parents, one for them to grow old in.
My mother clearly notices my attention flickering all over. “Your room is still the same as when you left for college. Your father and I couldn’t bring ourselves to change anything in there without your say so.”
“Okay,” I whisper, not sure I’m ready to go back to that accumulation of memorabilia of a past I ran from. I look around, wondering who else is home. I want to see them, get the first meetings over with.
“Your father’s at work right now,” my mother interrupts my thoughts. “He’s home early on Thursdays. You picked a good day.” She glances at her watch and smiles. “He’ll be home real soon.”
I nod and look at Jace who silently prompts me. “Mom,” I call out to grasp her attention. “Can we discuss the past four years?” I ask her. She stops puttering around in the kitchen and I find myself guided to the same dining table we spent most every meal at.
“Where do you want to begin?” she asks as she settles opposite us. I can see she’s still in shock I’m here, but I know her, she’ll deal with that later.
“Where I ended up,” I state coolly. I know my mother will be the easiest to speak to. “I work in an exclusive gentlemen’s club, Mom,” I start to say and the nerves erupt in a frenzy upon me. “I’ve done stuff I’m ashamed of, but I don’t let it define me.” I stare at her, ready for an outburst, but I can see she is just out to listen to me. Not judge. “I have been made to do things I never dreamed I would do, but that life I was given saved me. I fell down in New York and a lady helped me. She gave me a home, money, a job. Jace is the reason I got out.”
I’m met with silence again so continue.
“Please do not think I am a whore or anything. I’m not. I don’t pride myself on that job. I’ve worked hard to maintain playing the piano. I met Jace and he saved me far more than I thought necessary. Please don’t think any less of me for that small piece of my life.”
“I think you’ve come out of this a stronger woman,” my mother praises me. “You aren’t the girl who survived that crash. You aren’t even the same girl you were before. You’re stronger willed, driven. You’re everything I hoped you’d become as a result of that crash. I just didn’t expect this.”
I smile gratefully, but it falls the moment I hear the door open and brace myself for the new person about to come into the room.
“Honey, I’m home!” I hear my dad’s baritone voice yell out, and I smile wistfully. He still greets my mother with the same, cheesy greeting he always did.
“I’m in the kitchen!”
I feel my eyes water. They haven’t changed at all, and I feel like it’s all a distant memory when I sat at the breakfast bar with a laptop writing a paper, Cassie and Spencer studying upstairs, Mom cooking, Dad at work. I look down at my hands, wringing them together more. Even with Jace beside me, his hand on the table before me, I cannot stop the wash and flurry of sheer terror overcome me.
“He’s wanted you back as much as I have,” my mom breaks my minor meltdown by reaching for my clasped hands. I suck in a deep breath, bid my tears away, and look back at her. “Now is not the time for tears.”
I nod and hear my father coming down the corridor. If his habits haven’t changed then he picked up his mail and read it before taking his shoes and blazer off. He’ll tear his mail open after, look at the sender, and if nothing interests him enough, he’ll go to my mother first.
My heartbeat mirrors each of his steps and I wait to be met with the sight of my father. He walks into the room, and I just sit up. I’m alert and praying with all my might that, he’ll accept me. However, my hopes are dashed when he stares at me for all of two minutes and turns and leaves the room.
My mouth falls open, my breathing heavier than ever. Oh God. Oh God. My breathing turns into heaving as my mother tells me she’ll be right back. I turn in my seat, looking for a quick exit, but Jace turns me fully to face him, slamming his hands upon my knees.
“Joely, breathe,” he commands me lightly. I’m looking at him, can see the demeanor he’s taken on, but my father’s swift exit is hitting me too hard. “Lee, he’ll be back. It’s a shock. We’ve ambushed them without any warning. You can’t expect to win them over right away.”
“The way he looked at me,” I pant, and a hand goes to my chest, twisting with my scarf as if it’ll help ease my breathing. “We shouldn’t have come back.”
“Yes, we should,” Jace counters fast. “You can’t keep running from everything. Delvine dictated a lot of your life, don’t let her take this from you. She is one of the reasons you never came back here. You didn’t want to come back and realize you missed it and wouldn’t have it back for years. I know you, Lee. You didn’t want to come back and face the music and know you couldn’t return until she was done with you.”
“But we can’t come back now,” I whimper at him.
“Yes, we can,” Jace admonishes my negativity and forgets all about my pessimism. “And we will. When I know what’s going on, we can choose to stay here. I saw how you were with your mom; your dad will be no different.” He tightens his grasp upon my knees and gives me a smile. “You took too long out. Think of it like The Hamptons, had we not gone back,” he says, and I immediately interrupt.
“I wouldn’t have been forced to do what I had to,” I reply, miserably allowing myself to think about that day all over again.
“We wouldn’t have gotten to this point,” he states clearly to me. His tone is hard and convicting and has me listening. “Had that never happened, we wouldn’t have gotten out. We’d have been creeping around and you’d have had far more time between us getting free. If you’d never have gone back, I’d never have gotten to married you.”
I nod, trying to dissect and implement his words into my mind. I need them to register, so I can deal with optimal clarity.
“Now will you stop with this pessimism you’ve picked up and look at what you’re getting back today,” he grins at me, looking around. “You’re getting your family back. Regardless of what else is going on, you are getting the most important things back. Now smile and realize your father will be back and will expect his daughter, not a shadow of her.”
“It’s good to see someone talk some sense back into my daughter,” my father speaks, interjecting Jace. He stands before us, tie now undone, his hair a dishevelled mess where he’s evidently pulled and ran his fingers through it. “I’m going to bet you’re my daughter’s husband?”
“I am, Sir,” Jace says as he stands up. “I would have asked your permission for her hand, but obviously due to our circumstances, it wasn’t possible.” I can see Jace is nervous now that he is meeting my father. “It’s lovely to finally meet you. I’ve learned a lot about your family from Joely in the time I’ve known her.”
“He’s got manners, I’ll give you that, Lee-Lee.” My father throws an old nickname and a wink at me and I feel my body relax from all the stiff tension. “Call me Carl, not Sir. It makes me feel old.”
“Carl,” Jace says and approaches my father with an extended hand.
I watch them shake and my shoulders square again – this is make or break for Jace.
My father nods impressed at the shake Jace offers him. “Strong shake, confident. I’m impressed.”
“Thank you,” Jace answers hesitantly, making my father laugh.
I am relieved that my father and husband are already on an even playing ground with one another. That is until Jace comes back to me and my father places his gaze upon me, his dark blue eyes burning into me.
“You just going to just sit there?” he asks me rhetorically. “Come and give your old man a hug.” I listen and
stand, but I’m wary. I know I shouldn’t be, but this has now been a reunion years in the making. “C’mere,” he demands, waving his hand at me. I listen, obey, and head toward him. When I’m the right distance, he puts his hand out, grabs a hold of me and pulls me in for a body crushing embrace. I struggle to get my arms around him but manage slightly and just enjoy a moment basking in his cologne and arms. I feel myself slump against him, my mind relaxing more. I have found my spot with two of the most important people in my life. My brother and sister are the only ones left.
“I’m sorry for just disappearing,” I apologize when his arms slacken their grip. I pull away and look up at him. “I just needed to get away and then I found it hard to come back.”
“Why did you disappear?” he asks and I can see the gauntlet of questions about to fly at me. “Where did you go? Where have you been? Who have you been with?”
“Dylan. New York. Only New York. A whole horde of people and Jace.” I state his questions with enough answers to goad him into a seat. We all sit, my mother and father opposite Jace and me. “What I’m going to say isn’t the best, but I can’t look back with regrets.”
“What is it?”
“Mom already knows some,” I state and look at my mother who nods offering her support for me to join. “I worked at a club known as The Viper Rooms. Well, I do. I have a contract I signed. I worked myself up in the club and became a head girl. I did things I’m not proud of, but Jace was one of my clients. He was the first man to think about me. He loved me from the first time we met, and he kept me as safe as he could.”
“This club,” my father begins, “Is it a sex club?”
“Sort of,” I reply honestly. “I signed my life away to the boss who offered me everything when I had nothing.” I can see my father’s eyes ignite, emblazoned with anger. “I wasn’t a prostitute as such,” I clarify, praying my voice doesn’t quiver. “I got lucky and had clients who just required my company.” I can see my father’s jaw click as he bites down. “Please, don’t think any less of me!” This time my voice gives out, my tears becoming evident. “I was lost when she found me. She offered me everything when I was vulnerable. I tried to leave, but it was too late.”
The Runaway Viper (Viper #2) Page 8
