“Relax.” Dylan laughed and pulled the jeans off Kristen’s leg. “You won’t get it unless you’re an obsessive spray tanner like Lindsay Lohan. She is so orange, I swear she must have self-tanner coming out of her shower nozzle.”
“Just make sure you rub everything in and you’ll be fine,” Massie said. Kristen reached for the video, but Massie pulled her arm back before she could get it in the VCR again. “It couldn’t be easier. Watch me.”
Kristen, Dylan, and Massie squeezed into one of the narrow silver cylinders and forced the accordion-shaped door shut. The space outside the actual spray area was no bigger than a phone booth, but Massie didn’t mind the cramped quarters if it would get Kristen to put a little color on her pale body. The holiday parties were quickly approaching and it was important to Massie that they look better than anyone else in the room.
Massie dropped her towel and hit the big green On button outside the glass door. She waved goodbye to her friends and stepped inside. One second later she was blasted by a smelly cold brown mist. When the spray stopped, she turned around and let the second batch coat her back.
“That’s all there is to it,” she said, reaching for her towel so she could rub the muddy solution into her legs. She didn’t even stop to answer her phone.
“Can you grab that?” Massie asked Dylan. “My hands are sticky.”
Dylan pulled Massie’s phone out of her black leather Coach bag and checked the caller ID.
“It’s Alicia,” she said. “Should I hit ignore?”
“No, I bet she’s having a guilt moment at Teen Vogue and wants to beg for my forgiveness.” Massie grabbed the Motorola out of Dylan’s hand and flipped it open. One of the purple rhinestones Massie had glued to her phone fell off and bounced along the tin floor of the booth. She was instantly reminded of the way her charms had scattered across the classroom in her daydream. Massie squeezed her eyes shut to squash the memory. Her phone continued to ring.
“You think Alicia knows my mom’s been trying to put a stop to the uniform thing?” Dylan asked.
“There’s only one way to find out,” Massie said. “Lean in.” Once their three heads were pressed together, Massie hit talk.
“Hullo,” she said.
“Hey, it’s Alicia. I’m in New York City. …”
Massie rolled her eyes.
“I know you’re mad at me, but I just wanted to let you know I’m not having the sleepover party anymore.”
“And you want to get invited back to mine, right? Well, it’s too late. It starts in two hours—you’ll never make it back from ‘New York City.’” Massie did her best to imitate Alicia’s obnoxious tone.
Dylan put her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing out loud.
“Relax, Massie,” Alicia snapped. “I don’t want to go to your lame sleepover. If I wanted to spend my night doing arts and crafts, I’d babysit a six-year-old. Besides, Olivia and I are going to the Beyoncé concert tonight.”
“No fair,” Kristen mouthed.
“Alicia, do I sell fertilizer?” Massie asked.
“No, why?” Alicia fell for Massie’s setup.
“Then why do you think I give a crap?”
Dylan and Kristen burst out laughing. Massie heard Alicia let out a frustrated sigh.
“I’m calling because I want my Calvin Klein winter white blazer back,” Alicia said.
“Why?, Are you packing up? Is the Rivers family finally moving back to Brooklyn?”
Kristen and Dylan laughed even harder this time and Massie pushed them away from the phone.
Alicia ignored the dig. “I was asked to model for Teen Vogue’s holiday issue and I may want to wear it.”
Massie suddenly felt like she was falling down a well. There was a loud ringing in her ears and she felt dizzy. Was this really happening? Alicia cheated and now she was being rewarded for it? Would Kristen and Dylan like Alicia more now that she was a model? Would the rest of the school?
Massie knew her expression must have changed to one of sheer horror, because Kristen and Dylan looked at her and mouthed, “What?” over and over again.
“Nothing,” Massie mouthed back.
“Look, I gotta go, the concert is about to start,” Alicia shouted over the screaming fans in the background. “Bring the blazer to school on Monday, ’kay?”
“Sorry, I can’t hear you,” Massie said. “What? What?” Then she hung up her phone. Her entire nervous system was in a state of shock.
“Share, please,” Dylan pleaded as she opened the door to the booth. “What did she say?”
“Oh, nothing, just that she got a job MODELING FOR TEEN VOGUE!”
“Huh?” Kristen screeched. “How?”
“I have no idea.” Massie was so furious, she put her green dress on inside out.
“Maybe she’s just a hand model or something,” Dylan offered.
“That should have been us,” Massie said. “If we’d won the contest, we would have been at Teen Vogue this afternoon and we would have been asked to model. Not her.”
“It’s not fair.” Dylan pressed the on button outside the tanning chamber and stepped inside. She closed her eyes and waited for the spray.
Massie was so blind with rage, she didn’t notice that Kristen was fully dressed. Suddenly her problems were much bigger than showing up at a holiday party with a pale friend. Her entire reputation was in jeopardy. What would people say when they found out Alicia was asked to model and she wasn’t?
Massie was silent for the next fifteen minutes. Once they were in the Blocks’ Range Rover, she finally said, “The time is now.”
“Huh?” Dylan said, grabbing a bowl of low-sodium cashews out of the minibar.
“Payback.”
“You mean we can finally stop being snakes that lie in the weeds?” Dylan said, recalling Massie’s strategy.
“Yup, let’s pounce.”
“Thank God.” Kristen sat up in her seat. “Can I get a seven-letter word for vengeance?” She threw her palm in the air and the others high-fived it.
“What’s the plan?” Dylan asked.
“I’ll tell you at the sleepover tonight,” Massie said. She needed time to think.
Isaac stopped the Range Rover in front of the luxurious Montador building.
“This is me.” Kristen opened the car door and waved to her doorman. “I’ll see you after dinner.” The overhead light in the car popped on. “Massie, what’s wrong with your face?”
Massie reached in her bag and pulled out her Chanel compact.
“Ehmagawd,” she screamed. “Alicia got me so pissed, I never finished rubbing in my tan.”
Dylan and Kristen immediately started laughing.
“It’s not funny,” Massie said, wiping her face. She pulled her dress away from her body and looked down at her stomach. “I’m all stripy. I look like a candy cane!”
“’Tis the season,” Kristen said.
“That’s even worse than the Lohan,” Dylan said.
“Isaac, we have to stop at Dr. Juice,” Massie barked toward the front seat. “I need a large Calm immediately. Then drop me off at home so I can exfoliate.”
“What about me?” Dylan asked.
“Isaac will take you last,” Massie said, examining her uneven arms. “This is an emergency.”
Kristen slammed the door and the car sped off down the street.
After the stop at Dr. Juice, Isaac pulled into the circular driveway in front of the Block estate and for the first time ever Massie wished she lived on a smaller piece of property. Suddenly the distance between the Range Rover and her shower seemed endless.
“See ya later,” Massie said to Dylan as she jumped out of the SUV with her bag in one hand and her banana, strawberry, and kava kava juice in the other.
She ran across the gravel of their circular driveway through the grass, and up the stone steps that led to the tall oak doors. Too frantic to search for her keys, Massie dropped her bag so she could pound the iron knocker and ring the bel
l with her elbow at the same time.
“What is it?” she could hear Kendra, her mother, shouting as she raced down the steps.
Inez beat her to it and opened the door.
“Look at me,” Massie wailed when she saw them.
“Your dress is on inside out,” Kendra said.
“No, my skin. My skin!” Massie said. “I’m uneven.”
Inez waved her hands in the air. “I have to check on dinner,” she said. This was a problem for Kendra, not her.
Massie felt her mother’s arm around her shoulders. She was gently being led into the sitting room, just off the front hallway. “Honey,” Kendra said softly when they were alone, “do you mind keeping it down? The women from my self-help book club are meeting in the upstairs parlor.” Kendra pinched the pink diamond on her necklace and slid it back and forth along her gold chain. “We’re reading Power of Now and trying to stay in a state of inner peace for just ten more minutes. Can we talk about it over supper?”
Massie opened her mouth to explain that there was nothing to talk about when a voice from upstairs shouted, “Kendra, honey, is everything okay?”
“Yes, Sudie, everything’s fine,” Kendra yelled softly.
“Well, then come back up—Mimi has something she’d like to share.”
“Coming.” Kendra placed her manicured hand on the top of Massie’s head. “Go use my new loofah; it’s in the closet beside the sauna. If that doesn’t help, I’ll take you to my aesthetician in the morning.”
“Where’s Dad?” Massie asked.
“Late meeting, he’ll be home after dinner.”
“Fine,” Massie said as she ran up the stairs ahead of her mother.
Once Massie was in her bathroom, she tore the plastic wrapper off her mother’s loofah and stepped into the steaming hot shower. She rubbed a bar of L’Occitaine shea butter soap all over her body and scrubbed.
Once Massie dried off, she combed her shoulder-length hair and slipped on her Michael Stars hot pink boy shorts and matching tank top. She sat down on her white duvet and pulled out her PalmPilot. It was time to record the day’s events.
CURRENT STATE OF THE UNION
INOUT
Dr. Juice
Starbucks
Loofahs
Spray tans
Rivers
Riveras
Q: Seven-letter word for vengeance
Q: Eleven-letter word for mercy
A: Revenge
A: Forgiveness
When Massie finished typing, she looked down at her raw, red hands. Alicia had gotten the best of her this time. But the battle had just begun. And Massie was ready to fight.
THE BLOCK ESTATE GUESTHOUSE
7:17 PM
November 14th
After almost three long months of living in the guesthouse on the Blocks’ estate, Claire Lyons had finally started to feel at home. It was a smaller, more rustic version of the grand stone mansion Massie and her family lived in. And Kendra had used the cottage to store antiques and paintings that weren’t impressive enough to display in the main house. But Claire didn’t think there was anything second rate about it. In fact, now she liked her new home even more than her old one in Orlando. Suddenly they were reclining in cushy leather chairs—no more stiff wicker. They could sip root beer floats from heavy crystal fountain glasses instead of mismatched plastic ones. And family game night no longer felt like a tired tradition. It was an event.
“Todd, it’s your turn to pick,” Judi Lyons said to her son as she burst through the swinging kitchen door and joined her family in the living room.
Claire heard the soothing hum of the dishwasher in the background and knew that meant her mother was finally ready to play.
Todd put his root beer float down on the glass card table and wiped his sticky hands on his Hulk Hogan pajama bottoms.
“Gross,” Claire said.
“Oh, please, I just saw you wipe the sugar from your sours on the chair,” Todd said. “Why don’t you take them out of your back pocket and share them with the rest of us?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Claire said, feeling the bag of candy under her butt as she shifted in her seat.
“I know why you’re hoarding them,” Todd said.
Claire felt her face turn red. She prayed that for once in his life, her brother would be cool and keep his mouth shut.
“Because Cam Fisher gave them to you.” Todd made kissing sounds and started rolling around on the couch. “Oh, Cam, I love you sooo much. I will protect your sours with my life. …”
Claire lifted her leg, ready to kick Todd off the couch, but quickly changed her mind. Instead she crossed it over her knee and tugged her shoelace. She was defenseless, and had been for the last week, ever since Cam stopped Todd at Briarwood Academy’s bike rack and asked if he was Claire’s brother. When Todd said yes, Cam made him his trusted delivery boy, the guy responsible for bringing mix CDs and candies home for Claire. And the last thing Claire wanted to do was kick the messenger in case he walked off the job. All she could do was roll her eyes and pray for the moment to pass.
“So when are we going to meet this Cam?” Jay asked, removing his wire glasses and sticking them in the front pocket of his blue Brooks Brothers shirt.
“I dunno, whenever,” Claire said. “It’s not like we hang out every day after school or anything. We just e-mail each other and stuff. We’re just friends.”
Claire wished there was more to it than that, because Cam was the sweetest, most thoughtful boy she had ever met. But they never actually hung out alone and sometimes Claire wondered if maybe there was some other girl he liked better.
Claire slapped the scoop of ice cream in her float with the back of her spoon. “So what game are we playing?”
“Hey, Dad, what do you feel like playing?” Todd said as he walked over to the oak armoire where they kept the board games.
“Anything—I’m feeling lucky,” Jay said, rubbing his chubby hands together.
“Cranium?” Todd held the purple box over his head.
“No, you always pick that,” Claire said, brushing the blonde bangs out of her eyes. “Let’s play Trivial Pursuit.”
“Claire, I’m ten,” he said. “The only trivia I know is who got kicked off last night’s Survivor.”
Claire watched her parents crack up.
“Cranium it is,” Jay said, stuffing a handful of popcorn into his mouth. A clear brown kernel shell stuck to his cheek and Claire watched it bob up and down while he chewed. It finally fell off and landed on his sweatshirt.
In Orlando, Jay and Judi were thought of as attractive. They both had bright blue eyes, big warm smiles, and deep tans. But ever since they moved to Westchester, Claire had become aware of their imperfections. She noticed that her mother and father were relatively short and that they dressed too casually and were both about ten pounds overweight. When Claire found out Massie’s parents had personal trainers and nutritionists, she was ashamed hers still got excited every time Ben # Jerry’s came out with a new ice cream flavor. But in time she learned to appreciate their shameless snacking habits, because they were the only people in Westchester who didn’t give her dirty looks when she ate a bit of junk food.
“Who wants more ice cream?” Todd said, jumping to his feet.
They had been playing for two hours and Claire and Judi were one right answer away from winning.
“You always do that when you’re about to lose,” Claire said to her brother.
“Do not.”
“Do.”
“Fine,” Todd said. “Go.” He turned the hourglass over as quickly as he could, clearly hoping to catch them off guard.
But Claire refused to let him intimidate her. “Okay, Mom.” The whole game was riding on Judi’s ability to sketch a picture with her eyes closed. She picked up her tiny pencil and started drawing.
“Belly button,” Claire shouted.
Judi shook her head.
“Stomach woman
!”
“No,” Judi said. She shut her eyes tighter and drew faster.
“Belly mover. Belly button shaker. Stomach dancer. BELLY DANCER!”
“Yes!” Judi screamed. She pulled Claire into a hug.
Claire smiled brightly. Beating Todd at Cranium was the only way to put him in his place these days. “Losers clean up,” she announced. She couldn’t wait to escape the mess of candy wrappers and empty froth-stained root beer glasses that Todd and her father were obligated to clean. All she wanted to do was take off her orange Old Navy cargo pants, slip into her flannel Power Puff Girls pj’s, and return Cam’s e-mail.
Suddenly Claire heard the front door open.
“Who’s here?” she asked her mother.
“No idea,” Judi said with a trace of fear in her eyes. “Jay? You expecting anyone?”
“What, dear?” he called from the kitchen.
Claire’s stomach clenched with nervousness and excitement when the mystery guest walked into the living room. “H-hey, what’s up? What are you doing here?” she asked.
Judi brought her hand to her heart and slowly shook her head. “Massie, you scared us.”
“Sorry.” Massie pulled her black cable-knit poncho over her head and draped it over the back of the corduroy couch. She was wearing a red velour sweat suit and sheepskin slippers. “Sometimes I forget I have to knock. I guess I’m still used to walking into this house whenever I feel like it.”
“That’s totally understandable,” Judi said with a nervous chuckle. “Did you need something?”
Before Massie could answer, Todd barged through the kitchen door wearing an apron and yellow rubber gloves. “Massie, want a root beer float? I can make you one.”
“No thanks, I ate already,” Massie said. “But thanks for offering.”
Claire knew Massie was just being nice to Todd because her mother was in the room. Normally Massie would have said something about too many fat grams or not wanting his booger-stained hands touching her food.
“I just got The Sims 2. Wanna start a family together?” Todd asked, his brown eyes flickering with hope.
Massie looked at Claire and tilted her head toward the staircase. “Normally I’d be all over that, but I have to talk to your sister.” She turned away from Todd and looked straight into Claire’s eyes. “Now,” she mouthed.
Revenge of the Wannabes Page 6
