“I don’t think about that anymore,” Holly retorts.
“We’ve all talked about it,” Beau says. “You’ve been kinda lost since he left, Hol. Maybe Tristan’s return means you have a chance to get back to good.”
“Okay, whatever.” Holly dismisses him.
“Holly, I’m being serious.” Beau’s voice changes. “We all have our own lives now, we’ve got spouses and families, even our sister has settled down – well, sort of. What I’m saying is that at some point, you’ve got to find somebody to share your life with, somebody who cares when you’re attacked by a psycho.”
Holly flinches, Greg never did seem to give two shits that she’d been attacked but that one hurt. “I hear you, Beau, but you know that kind of thing doesn’t happen for everybody.”
“It happened for you, Hol,” Beau says quietly, “and now the source of ‘it’ seems to be back in town ready to take up where things left off. He was here, Holly, sitting with you, holding your hand. If Tristan is really back in Seattle, you owe to yourself to find out what’s up.”
“When did you get to be so insightful?” Holly asks.
“It’s my old age, sis.” Beau grins so that his dimples show.
“Old, my ass.” Holly snorts. “But thanks, Beau. I’ll think about it.”
“Stop thinking so much. You know you never thought about shit when you were around Tristan before. It was always like you two were living in another world. You don’t think we all remember, but we do. The two of you were attached at the hip from the minute they moved in next door. I saw it last night, the way he looked at you. It’s still there.”
“You saw us from across a waiting room. It’s been eight years since I’ve seen him, there’s no way it’s as easy as you suggest.”
“Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. But, isn’t it worth finding out either way?” Beau suggests.
“I don’t know.” Holly exhales loudly, annoyed. “Are you already jumping into Mom’s matchmaking shoes?”
“Nope,” Beau shakes his head, “just looking out for my kid sis like a good big brother.”
Holly sticks her tongue out at her brother.
“Classy, Sis, real classy.” But Beau laughs. He’s got a nice laugh, just like Dad’s.
“You think she’s hearing all of this?” Holly nods toward their Mom.
“Of course she is. I’m waiting for her to sit up and yell at us.” Beau sips at his coffee. “Or rather, yell at me cuz she never yells at you.”
“Right,” Holly chuckles, “I never get any flak from Mom.”
“Please, how many times did you get in trouble for breaking curfew?” Beau asks.
“All the time!” Holly argues. “Dad threatened to call the cops weekly.”
Beau’s brows furrow. “Threats? I was grounded a few dozen times for breaking curfew and so were the rest of our siblings. You always got off easy.”
“Are we really going there now? From thoughtful, concerned brother to hatin’ on the baby sister?” Holly teases.
“I hate to break up this little party, but can somebody else get a turn with Mom?” Chad peeks his head into the room.
“Yeah, come on in, Chad. I’m gonna go make a few phone calls. I’m supposed to work today but I want to stay with Mom.” Holly squeezes her mom’s hand and pushes out of the chair. “Come get me if she wakes up.”
Beau nods and adds, “Think about what I said, Hol, about giving things chances.”
“I will.” Holly kisses Beau on the cheek. “Thanks.”
“Don’t let him get all philosophical on you, okay?” Holly advises Chad as she gives him a quick half hug on the way out.
**
“Hey, Carmen,” Holly calls her friend first given the dozen or so missed calls that show up on her phone when she turns it back on.
“Holly! What the hell happened?” Carmen yells so loud Holly has to pull the phone away from her ear.
“My mom had a heart attack, I’ve been here with her all night.” Holly fights back tears. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you.”
“No, Hol, I’m just glad you’re okay.” Concern fills Carmen’s voice. “Is your Mom alright?”
“She’s not awake yet.” Holly detaches emotionally and sticks with the facts. “We just have to wait for her to wake up.”
“Are you staying there with her then?” Carmen asks.
“Yeah,” Holly says blandly, “that’s why I’m calling, I’m not going to be able to make it to work today.”
“Of course not,” Carmen agrees, “I’ll let Howard know. Do you need me for anything?”
“Unless you can magically heal my Mom, no.” Holly blurts before she considers that such a request would mean something different to her elf-friend.
Carmen’s voice is soft, sad, “I can’t heal her, Hol. This is something mortal, something human. Changing the natural course of a human life is not permitted.”
“I know, I mean, I wasn’t asking. It’s just something people say,” Holly explains. “I’m sorry, I would never ask that of you.”
“Okay.” Carmen’s voice rebounds to her usual chipper self. “If you need me at all, call me and I’ll be there!”
“Thanks, I will.” Holly smiles into the receiver. “Talk to you later.” She ends the call and thinks about what other calls she needs to make.
“Miss? You can’t use your phone in here,” a nurse calls from the desk. “You’ll have to step outside.”
“Sorry!” Holly apologizes and heads outside.
It’s unusually sunny. Holly looks up into the light, feeling the warmth on her skin, just taking a moment to breathe for the first time in weeks. There’s a soft breeze wafting through the tree-rimmed plaza in front of the hospital. What would happen if she just skipped town like her sister? Would it be that terrible? Take the rest of the semester off and return in the fall?
What if she just walked away altogether? Holly laughs to herself, right, like that’s an option. She scrolls through her contacts and selects Dean Kaplan’s office. The receptionist says the Dean is out and sends Holly to her voicemail. Holly leaves a message explaining what happened and that she should be back in a few days.
“I’m heading out, Hol.”
Holly startles, she hadn’t heard her brother walk up behind her.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” Beau says sheepishly. “But I would have laughed if you’d spilled your coffee down the front of you.”
“Gee, thanks,” Holly snaps.
“Can I pick up some clothes for you or are you going to run home and get something normal to wear?” Beau teases.
Holly looks down, she forgot about her haphazard outfit. It was a good thing she remembered to throw a hoodie on before leaving. “Oh, I forgot. Yeah, are you going by the house?”
“I can. I plan to come back later but I have a business meeting and I’ve got to get the boys from school.” Beau maps out his full schedule and Holly is painfully aware of how full his life is compared to hers. “Or, I can bring you something from Lily’s closet if that would work?”
Holly laughs. “Right, like I could fit into any of Lily’s clothes. Seriously, Beau? She’s like a size two.”
“Then home it is,” Beau agrees. “I’ll stop and grab you something on my way back tonight.”
As he turns toward the parking lot, Holly is struck with a terrible thought and calls out after him. “Make sure you grab my clothes, not Mom’s.” He waves her off but Holly can tell he’s laughing. She can only imagine what he would have done.
Holly heads back into the hospital and straight for her mom’s room. Chad is whispering and holding Mom’s hand when she enters. Holly steps up and puts a hand on his shoulder.
“How is she?”
Chad doesn’t look away from their mom. “Same.”
“I’m worried,” Holly admits. She’s not even really moving.
“Me too, Hol,” Chad admits and pats the hand on his shoulder. “Beau tells me that Tristan is back in town.”
/> “Seriously?” Holly withdraws her hand.
“Hey, big brothers have to look out for their kid sisters, it’s the way of the world.” Chad sneaks a glance at her. “For what it’s worth, I’m glad.”
“Noooooo, not you too,” Holly groans. “I can’t take any more interventions today.”
“Fair enough.” Chad backs off. “But I am damn glad that you ditched that asshole.”
“You didn’t like Greg either?” Holly balks. Did her whole family hate him? “I thought it was just Mom who didn’t like him.”
“Oh, Hol, we all hated the guy. Didn’t you think it strange that he stopped hanging out with us?”
“Not everybody is as competitive as we are,” Holly argues.
“No, we were terrible to him. He was such a pretentious douche rocket.” Chad never pulls punches, one of the things Holly loves about him.
“But nobody ever said a word to me,” Holly protests. It’s like she doesn’t even know her family.
“Who were we to interfere with your relationship? Holly, you didn’t bring guys around after Tristan left, then Greg showed up and we were just happy you were dating again so we went along with it. We all remembered what it was like when Tristan left so we tried to like Greg, we did, but we hoped you’d find somebody else because we really, really hated him,” Chad explains. “I’m sorry, I should have told you. Mom tried, I know she did. But, you’re stubborn just like she is.”
“True.” Holly admits it. “It’s weird hearing all of this now.”
“I guess it takes something like this to bring it out.” Chad shrugs. “Sorry, Hol.”
“It’s okay. Thanks for coming clean.” Holly beams at her brother.
“Anytime, runt.”
Holly ignores the childhood nickname. “You think I should really give Tristan a chance to explain?”
Chad thinks about it for a minute. “Yeah, Holly, I do. Beau says he was here last night. That says something.”
“It’s not about just that, Chad. He left and then he cut me off. He sent my letters back and I didn’t hear from him for years. How do you get past that?”
“I don’t know. I guess you should figure it out if you can. Maybe he has a good explanation. You don’t know what happened. I think that, after you were so close as kids, you owe him at least the chance to explain. If it’s a shit explanation then forget him, but if it’s reasonable, maybe the rest will fall into place.”
“Damn.” Holly nods her head encouragingly. “You’ve been watching a lot of Dr. Phil lately, haven’t you?”
“Hell yeah!” Chad exclaims. “I love that guy. Plus, he’s one of the only things on TV when we get up with the twins.”
“Interesting,” Holly says. “I’ll just file that away for future teasing.”
“I’m not ashamed of my Dr. Phil.”
“Indeed.” Holly grins and downs the rest of her coffee. She feels lighter somehow. If Tristan shows up, she’ll let him talk.
CHAPTER 12
Holly forgot how tough it can be to do the whole hospital thing. Aside from desperately needing a shower, she feels fidgety and wishes she’d remembered to have Beau grab her deodorant or perfume or something. She’s pretty certain she can smell herself as she changes into the outfit her brother brought her. Holly uses some of the industrial soap to wash up a bit but now she just smells more like a hospital.
Thankfully, Cody, the nurse, took pity on her and scored a tube of toothpaste and one of the cheap plastic toothbrushes they have on hand. Chipping away the furry feeling on her teeth brings back a bit of her humanity.
“I’m not going to be able to stay long, Hol,” Beau says as she walks back in her mom’s room.
“That’s fine, I’ve got it,” Holly assures him. She didn’t expect any of her siblings to stick around the whole time, they all have spouses and kids and real lives.
“But you can go home for a while if you want,” Beau offers even though he already knows her answer.
“I’m good, Beau.” Holly stuffs her dirty clothes into the plastic grocery bag that he brought.
“Figured you’d say that,” Beau nods, “so I’ve got a duffel bag in the car for you – deodorant, toothpaste, a brush for that mess on your head….”
Holly throws the bag at her brother. “Seriously!? You couldn’t have mentioned that before?” She walks up and punches him in the shoulder. “And I’m guessing this outfit is a joke too?” Holly gestures to the mismatched outfit – fuchsia lounge pants with “Pink” across the ass and a worn Seahawks jersey.
“I just wanted to see how it looked.” Beau cringes as he admits the prank. “Let me up and I’ll go get the real bag.”
“Jerk.” Holly moves aside but socks Beau one more time as he passes.
“It made ya smile,” Beau calls out as he slips out of the room.
Holly shakes her head and turns back to her mom, still motionless on the bed. She wonders how much longer they will keep her down here. The nurses are all empathetic when they check her vitals but Holly sees something behind their eyes that wasn’t there last night. Is she ever going to wake up?
Holly settles into the rolling stool at her mom’s bedside and slides up to grab her hand. “Mom, I know you can hear me. I’m sure you’re laughing about Beau’s prank. Just open your eyes and see how ridiculous I look. C’mon, Mom,” Holly pleads. She loathes the desperation in her voice, grateful nobody else is there to hear it.
“Holly?” The familiar voice is so soft it barely registers. She turns to see Tristan, framed in the doorway with her duffel bag and a tray of coffee. He smiles sheepishly. “Beau lied to get me in, said I’m a cousin or something.”
“Oh.” Holly tries to smooth her hair, suddenly self-conscious of her appearance.
“I brought you some coffee, thought you could use it,” Tristan steps into the room, “and Beau said you might want this?” He tosses the duffel at Holly.
“Yeah, thanks.” Holly catches the bag deftly. “I’m gonna just change.”
“Why? I like what you’re wearing.” Tristan’s mouth quirks up in a half-smile. “Sort of a demented sorority girl thing.”
“You guys all just think you’re soooo funny.” Holly snaps. “Beau did this; he didn’t tell me about the real bag in the car.”
“C’mon, Hol,” Tristan pleads, “it’s not the first joke your brother’s ever played on you. Remember when you got your appendix out?”
Holly glowers at him. “Of course I do.”
“It was pretty funny.” Tristan chuckles at the memory. “Watching you stand on your front porch to sing the National Anthem to the neighborhood. I still don’t know how he got you to believe any of that.”
“I could have busted some stitches.”
“But you didn’t,” Tristan reminds her. “He stopped you before you even hit the high notes. Your brother would never truly hurt you.”
“Um, broken wrist?” Holly holds up her left hand.
“That was an accident and you know it.” Tristan arches an eyebrow at her. “And, I don’t remember him forcing you to try tightrope walking. That was the thrill-seeker otherwise known as Holly the Fearless.”
Holly smacks her forehead with her hand. “I forgot about that!”
“I didn’t. Your daredevil phase was terribly exciting for all of us.” Tristan sets the coffee down on the only table in the room. “It was a shame you were sidelined by that wrist.”
“Yeah, two weeks before the circus came to town, right?” Holly struggles to remember that summer, just before she turned eleven. She and Tristan had been convinced that they wanted to run away and join the circus.
“I think you could have made it work,” Tristan affirms. “But, looking back, that tightrope trick may have been ill-advised.”
“Ya think?” Holly asks. “We were stupid kids.”
They fall into a strange silence. She feels Tristan’s eyes on her and resists the urge to run into the bathroom and hide.
Tristan breaks the silence.
“I almost forgot how beautiful you are.”
Holly pulls the duffel bag up to cover herself, hugs it tight, and backs toward the bathroom. “I’m just going to clean up and change.”
“Take your time.” Tristan settles into a chair and plucks a coffee from the tray. “I’ve nowhere pressing to be.”
Holly opens her mouth but quickly closes it again and opts to disappear into the bathroom. She leans against the closed door and numbly rummages through the bag. Her thoughts rage around her head threatening to drive her mad. How can it be so easy to slip back into their old relationship after everything has happened? Why does Tristan keep coming around? Why now?
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