She watched him come toward her, his boots kicking up dust, his grin sweet enough to make any woman all gooey inside. She caught a few women watching Garrett walk past. The interest was palpable because Garrett was a presence. He stood out as different even in a crowd of people. Liv didn’t blame them at all. She had a hard time not staring at him too. “Wow. That is—”
“A snack,” he said, winking. He handed her one of the sandwiches and a small plastic container of horseradish sauce, then pushed the tray laden with French fries, fried pickles and onion rings to the center. “Help yourself.”
Liv stared. “I have no idea how one person can eat all that.” She accepted the cold can of soda from him and swallowed three crisp gulps and sighed contentedly.
“Easy. Just watch.”
“So, not that you have to answer me but did Kelly come to ask you to come back? To your family?” She took a big bite, to give her big nosy mouth something to do.
Garrett’s face went from food-drunk glee to clenching jaw in a blink. She wanted to suck the words back in but what good would all her good feelings be if she couldn’t ask him a simple question? He gave a brisk nod, swallowed and sighed. “Yep. Pretty much. She wants me to return to the pack. I don’t want to. She thinks that a motherly visit and maybe some well-placed guilt can do the trick. It can’t.”
“Why did you leave?” She said it before she could stop herself and found that she was finally afraid. The question scared her. Liv put a hand to her chest to try to still her now-pounding heart. An impossibility but she tried.
He glared at her, almost like he was angry but quickly shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. Garrett tossed his uneaten onion ring on the tray and frowned. “Let’s just say that I lost too much to live there anymore. And despite how much I lost, the pack…” He shook his head again, sealing his mouth into a tight line of disappointment.
“They let you down?”
His eyes registered shock for just a moment and then he gave a brisk nod. “Yes, they let me down. I’m willing to wager that you’re familiar with this?”
“Yes, I am. My stepdad beat my mom fairly regularly but when I would say anything… And one time I tried to help her. Told a teacher at school and she…” The memories of her fractured childhood were still too much sometimes. Liv felt her throat shrink two sizes and her eyes flooded with tears. She blinked furiously to try to clear them.
“She made excuses for him and basically made you out to look like a liar?” Garrett took her hand, his thumb making soft sweeping arcs across her skin.
Liv nodded, not trusting her voice. She managed another bite of her sandwich so that she wouldn’t have to talk.
Garrett leaned in and waved away an errant bee circling the soda cans. “You know that’s common in victims of abuse. One of my brothers is married to a woman who was married before. She said it took her years to not cover for the asshole beating her on a regular basis. Somewhere in the mix it becomes a sick kind of symbiotic relationship.”
“What changed her mind?” Liv feared she knew the answer.
“Her daughter. She couldn’t do it anymore. She was afraid it would spread to her daughter.”
Liv saw him coming at her in her mind. Hand raised, fist cocked and then her mother jumping in front of her, taking the blow. But she didn’t leave him. Nope. And a few times Margaret hadn’t been fast enough to intercept the blows. She swallowed what felt like a large rock but was only cooked beef and said, “I guess my mom wasn’t quite at that point. He left her for another woman. They were still married, she was still making excuses. But he got tired of her.”
“Did he ever hit you?” Garrett asked. His face showed a quiet kind of rage. An emotion he was trying to suppress and thought he was succeeding. She wanted to kiss him for it.
“Just once or twice.” And it wasn’t a lie. But she did leave out the part about him trying more often.
Garrett didn’t look like he believed her but he kissed the back of her hand. A gesture that stole her breath and made her laugh at herself. How easy was she. “Okay, let’s drop all this heavy bullshit about people we can’t control. Let’s go home and get busy.”
“Again?” she laughed. She wrapped up her sandwich to take home. In the time she had eaten a third of her huge, overstuffed sandwich he had polished off two full sandwiches, most of the onion rings, most of the fries and all of the pickles. Plus two cans of soda. It must burn a lot of calories being part wolf and full-time sex god. She blushed.
“I meant you have to make me some pies. But the way, you just blushed like that and what I smell coming off you. Yes, again.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet. “Hurry, woman, or we might just get busy at the orchard again.”
Liv studied him as he led her through the now-teeming parking lot to the car. She thought she’d get busy with him just about anywhere. Any time. Any way. The closer she got, the more she wanted.
———
“Is it done yet?” Garrett rested his chin on her shoulder, his arms looped around her waist. Liv tried to focus on mixing the apple slices in the cinnamon and sugar and spices as he pressed his chest to her back, his pelvis to her bottom, his breath feathering down over her shoulder.
It was an almost impossible task.
“No. It’s not even in the oven yet.” Liv pressed back to him, liking the warm, hard feel of his body right up against hers. How in the world could she possibly want him all over again? She didn’t know how but she sure as hell did.
“But that smells really good like it is.” Garrett plucked an apple from the bowl and popped it in his mouth.
“Hey, back off, mister! Let me actually assemble and bake the pies before you eat them. Please? I promise you they’ll be worth the wait.”
“Fine, fine,” he sighed. “But what do I do in the meantime?”
Liv laughed. “What would you be doing if I weren’t here?”
“I’d be out in the yard working or upstairs working on that horrible wallpaper in the bathroom.”
“There you go.” She tried to focus on the crisp apples and pastry and butter but her mind kept zigzagging to his mouth on her, him pressing her into the dirt and hay at the farm, the cool slide of the spatula handle in her pussy. All the things he’d done to her in so little time.
“Well, it’s raining,” he pushed back the curtains. “Hard.”
“Wallpaper?”
“No ma’am.” He shook his head and blew out a breath.
“Why not?”
“Because you’re blushing again and I know why. I can smell you. And then, of course, I’ll smell the pie.”
“You can smell me when I’m…” She ducked her head and poured the pie filling into the crust. The oven ticked and popped as it heated and rain snickered against the small window over the sink.
“When you want me? When you’re horny? When you are so ready you just can’t stand it and you’re wet and you want me to slip my big—”
“Garrett!” she half shouted, half gasped. His big blue eyes glittered with humor and he laughed so hard his big shoulders jumped comically.
“Am I lying?”
“No but…”
“It made it worse,” he said, raising his nose and sniffing softly.
“Oh. My. God.”
“It’s true.”
“Yes, it’s true but God. How…embarrassing.”
“Don’t be embarrassed. I want you anyway. But when I can smell how much you want me, that makes me want you more and then we…do stuff. It’s a big, horny vicious circle. The best vicious circle ever.” He put his hands on her cheeks and leaned over the counter to kiss her. “Which is why I am going to grab that pane of glass I saw in the back of the basement and I’m going to replace the glass in your window from my daring rescue yesterday. You bake, I’ll fix.” He beat his chest and grunted. “Liv make pie! Garrett fix window! Tarzan want Jane.”
She found herself shaking with laughter at his goofiness. It had been a long, long time sin
ce she had laughed as much as she had in the last day or so. If she had ever laughed this much. “Okay, you do that, Tarzan.”
“Then Tarzan come home and eat pie.” He came at her like a gorilla and pressed his full lips to her ear and spoke softly so that a shiver ran through her. “And then Tarzan might eat Jane. And do other stuff…”
“Go,” she gasped, her nipples growing stiff under her sweater. Her breath coming hard and fast as her pussy grew ready for him in that small space of time. “Go now or there will be no pie.”
He kissed her temple, laughed softly and went down the basement steps.
Chapter Ten
Broken
Garrett cleared the broken glass from the floor before puttying in the new pane. Broken glass, broken man. Recently it all had seemed broken but now it was beginning to feel less so. Being around Liv was making him think. Making him feel. And making him want. Sometimes it made him want to scream or push her away. Sometimes it made him want to cave in and give her what she wanted.
Her need for him was palpable. He hadn’t told her. Some part of her would be mortified. But it radiated off her like a halo of energy. She wanted to mate with him. She wanted to connect with him and her blood sang out to him. She would be a compatible change.
“But you don’t have to change her, you doof. You can mate with her and be with her and she can stay human.” Many of his pack were mated to humans. There was no issue with the breeding. It was the matter of one gene. The offspring usually were wolf but not always. And the ones that were human weren’t shunned and were usually faster, stronger, smarter and braver than the average human child.
He knew all of this. Knew he could have her, love her, mate with her just as she was. But a part of him literally raged like a dangerous caged thing to change her. He wanted to change her. He wanted them to run together and hunt and breed. And he wanted to run from her when that feeling became a little too crystalline. But he wouldn’t.
Can’t run from every good thing. You’ve run from the pack. Don’t run from her.
Now would he be wise enough to listen to his higher self? His wiser side? Or would he give in to his baser nature and change her and then possibly bolt because he was too stuck in the past? On what he had lost and the vengeance he never had.
He’d never been happier and alternately, he’d never been more miserable and confused.
“Fuck me hard,” he said and finished up the window. He swept the old glass that still littered the floor into a dustpan and emptied it, taking the trash out with him.
He smelled the man before he saw him. The pepper and vinegar smell of hostility. “Where’s Liv?”
“Not here. I think it’s best if you leave, either way,” Garrett said. He kept his voice low, his eyes averted. Once in a great while they would glitter in just the right way so a human spotted it.
Like Liv did. But that’s because she’s your mate…
“I asked you where she was. Not if she was here.” Kevin stepped in front of him to block his way. Garrett stopped, not because he had to. He could have easily punted Kevin to the side like a football but this was not the time or place. Outside in broad daylight in a brand-new neighborhood where fifty percent of the people were nosy retired people. Not the best place to exercise your strength.
“Move.”
Kevin stepped forward, puffing up his chest. The smell of aggression and a tiny bit of confusion came off him, filling Garrett’s nose, firing his predatory nature.
“I said, move.” He let a tiny bit of the rolling grumble into his voice. Cocked his head and stepped toward the man instead of back. “And leave her alone. Do you hear me? Or I will be the one you answer to.” His anger flared and the other man’s face flickered with uncertainty.
There goes the eye shine, genius.
The rain coated them in a fine mist and Garrett didn’t wait for Kevin to decide to answer. “I said, do you hear me?” Garrett asked. He took one more step forward so that they were practically nose to nose. Though his nose was about three inches higher than Kevin’s. He shook the bag of glass and Kevin’s eyes shot to it. “You tend to destroy things when you’re around.”
“You did that,” Kevin said, trying to sound cocky but only managing unsure.
“I did that rescuing her from you. She doesn’t want to see you. Which means I don’t want to see you around.”
“I don’t take orders from you,” Kevin said. “Tell Livvie I said hi and I’ll see her soon.” He turned on his heels and stomped off. Garrett didn’t miss the fact that he walked just a bit too fast for someone throwing around threats. But he didn’t trust the asshole so he’d have to keep his eye out for Kevin.
“I’ll be fucked blue before I tell her that,” Garrett said to no one.
———
He walked in to find two fragrant pies cooling on the counter. The house smelled like a home and the kitchen was a welcome warmth from the bitter, damp chill outside. He heard the hiss of the shower and grinned. Maybe he’d pop in and say hi to Liv. Tell her how good her pies smelled. Garrett kicked his boots off on the mat and snapped his belt out of the loops. He hung that on the hook and shucked his soaking wet jeans. A hot shower with a hot woman sounded like just what the doctor ordered.
He took the steps two at a time. The door barely made a sound. He’d just oiled it this week. Garrett stood and watched the steamy, blurred outline of her through the clear plastic curtain where it gaped. Her head was tipped back, eyes closed. Her long lashes brushing the flushed apple of her cheeks. She was, to him, damn near perfect. Her long unruly blonde hair was dark brown from being soaked with water and the tips of it brushed her hips just above her ass. He saw the fawn spray of freckles above her breasts and on the bridge of her nose. The small dark triangle of her pubic hair. The heady scent of her and shampoo and heat.
He didn’t realize how quiet he was being, it just came naturally to him. It didn’t dawn on him at all until he pulled the curtain back to say something smart like surprise! or trick-or-treat, lady!
Before he could, she clutched at herself, dark eyes flying wide, face terrified. She screamed so loud his ears rang from the shock and she dropped into a fetal position at the foot of his shower. Her body promptly racked with sobs, her heartbeat suddenly audible to him and the feel of her fear so thick he could have broken off a chunk of air.
Garrett went from horny and happy and playful to enraged in the space of a breath.
He took Liv by her upper arms and lifted her as gently as he could manage. She was so wet and so scared. She shook in his arms as he led her to the wicker chest he used as towel storage. He got her to sit, murmuring softly. Nonsense words. Niceties and soothing sounds just like Kelly had done for all the younger ones as they grew up. His own mother had died a few years after having him and Kelly had often been a stand-in mom when a gruff but loving father wasn’t enough for a young man. It had been from her that he learned the importance of a lulling background of sound during illness or trauma.
“It’s okay, it’s okay. I have you now. I’m sorry. I was joking around and I’m an ass. Breathe deeply, Liv. Take a breath, baby,” he rambled but she obeyed. He wrapped a red towel around her and she grasped the top with shaking hands to hold it closed. Garrett stood, flipping the switch for the small overhead heater. The bathroom grew a bit warmer but she was still shaking.
“I’m sorry,” she said, teeth chattering. Liv kept her head down, her feet rubbing against each other, a nervous gesture, he guessed.
“Why the fuck are you sorry? I’m the one who scared you,” he said. He brushed her wet hair off her face with his fingertips, examined her face as if she might be wounded.
She bit her lip, her face pale under the wet strands of hair. “Because a normal woman wouldn’t have reacted like that.”
“Fuck that. You’re you. It was me.” He stood, pacing the small room. Wanting to hit something but not giving in to the urge. “I’m not mad at you, by the way.” He saw her nervous look and tried to sti
ll himself.
“Why are you mad then?” she whispered, squeezing her hair with the towel to dry it.
“I’m mad because a person like you shouldn’t have to feel this way,” he roared. “Ever!”
“Garrett, you’re scaring me,” she said.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He grabbed a smaller yellow towel and draped it over her hair. “I don’t know how to do that weird towel thing you girls do.”
She cracked a smile and his heart untwisted just a bit. Liv flipped her head forward, her hair smacking her lower legs like little wet whips, and then she twisted the towel around it like a tall halo. “There.”
He stooped, picked her up and nudged the door open with his toe. “Come on, I’m putting you in my robe and finding that space heater. The house is raw and chilly and you’re going to get sick.”
“Why are you…” She swallowed, let the sentence drop, looking uncertain.
He set her on his bed, still unmade and messy from their night together. “Why am I what? Mad? Look, I have a bit of a hair trigger when I feel—”
“Not mad,” she said.
“Then what? Put this on.” But he didn’t let her do it, he helped her into it and belted the big robe. So big on her she almost looked like a kid sitting in her father’s robe.
“Why are you treating me this way?”
“Shit, Liv, don’t you think it’s about time someone treated you this way?”
Then she shocked the hell out of him for a second time by dropping her head and crying again.
———
Begging
She’d expected anger when she started crying again. Liv was accustomed to rage in the face of her worry or weakness. Ellen had been the one to push her to the point of being able to talk about how she felt. Along with Dr. Sanders who she should probably call soon. But she still expected it. The nightmares had been too much and then Kevin breaking in. Garrett had been a miracle, a rescuer but it had still unnerved her. And now on top of it all, she had serious feelings starting for him and an almost unnatural need to be with him physically.
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