Base Nature

by Sommer Marsden

  All his instincts whispered of viability and lust and love and procreation. There could be young ones, offspring, a blood line.

  “Yes,” she whispered. “I’m yours, Garrett,” she said. Her voice sounded like it had just occurred to her but it was the most honest statement in the world. She was his.

  “God, you’re not helping me, woman,” he said, slowing a bit. Stroking her ass, feeling the perfect smoothness of her skin. He gripped her tight and felt her under him, giving herself up to him. Offering herself wholly.

  There was that knot again in his throat.

  “I should feel worse, please say you still love me. The thing is…I liked it, Garrett. I liked it. I liked the feel and the taste of his fear. I liked being the one to cause the fear for a change. Please tell me you still love me.”

  He could feel her crying. Her body rumbling and moving under him, he pressed his hands to the small of her back, feathering his fingers over her spine. She was perfect, beautiful, loved…and she had no idea.

  “We all do what you’ve done, we all like the fear, it’s part of the hunt. Whether it’s human or animal.” Garrett stilled in her but she started to move, pushing back, her arm moving as she rubbed her clit. He blew out a breath and the orgasm gripped him, prodding him to move again, thrust, bury, fuck. “We simply learn to control it. We all have to do it. We all go through it, Liv. Even you, baby. We’ll teach you. And I love you, Liv. Don’t ever doubt it. Ever.”

  “Okay,” she said. And then she started to cry. “Thank you.”

  “Don’t ever thank me for loving you. Because I do. And I will. Whether you like it or not.”

  She gripped him on purpose, he could tell and he growled. She growled back, letting a little of the wolf timbre in her voice. She sounded wild and dirty and completely his.

  Garrett came. Liv continued to move back against him, moving her hips, touching herself and when he leaned in and bit her right above her shoulder, she came too.

  ———

  Liv’s breath was slow and even on his throat. They’d dug a few more blankets from the box in the front hall. He dozed off, feeling the throb of pain in his chest where the bullet had entered. It had been fairly shallow as far as gunshot wounds went but still. Being shot was pretty bad.

  You need food. And warmth. Rest and then more food. Not to be shifting and fucking and sleeping in a freezing abandoned house.

  Liv snuggled in closer and he told himself at least he had that heat. Once upon a time, not so long ago, if something like this had happened, if he’d been running from something, he’d have been alone. At least now he wasn’t alone. She was, in fact, the very reason he was doing this. She was that important to him and he refused to let them hold her culpable for that man’s death. He was an aggressive, dangerous wild card and he’d walked in at the wrong time, provoked the wrong wolf. Young, aggressive and thinking her mate had been taken.

  “Any one of us would have had a hard time not doing that,” he said. He hoped she heard and he could hear Kelly in his head. Telling him about retribution, how it could cost you more than it gave you. How you usually weren’t the only one to pay for it. How it could trickle down and affect so many other lives.

  Kelly would be at home trying to pave the way for leniency. She would be guarding his house, worrying, looking out for him. She was always there for him, despite his recent anger. His childish demand of blood for blood.

  Now he understood. Now it was he who would watch out for Liv. And if they made it past the elders, if they were able to have what they wanted—which they would because he would allow no other way—he would let his anger go. He’d simply let the rage for the drunk hunter go. That man was the one who had to look at himself in the mirror and know that he’d taken Eileen.

  And Autumn.

  His heart seized up then, a sickening kink that hurt more than any gunshot ever could. “And Autumn,” he said.

  He’d let the anger and the thirst for vengeance go if it meant he could have her and be happy. If it meant a new life, he could put it aside. For Liv. For Kelly and Chester who were parents in the stead of his own. In Eileen’s memory and the daughter he’d never even known he was going to have. Most of all, he’d have to put it aside for himself.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Leniency

  “She did it because of him. I mean, picture it, Chester, you’ve just been turned. All those emotions and the bodily changes are overwhelming you. Your wolf senses are overriding your human nature. You can hear and smell and feel everything magnified but has never happened before. But there’s also a searing, bone-crushing pain because you weren’t born to shift. Your body feels like it’s going to turn inside out and—”

  “Kelly—”

  “Let me finish, Chester!” she snapped. “And then this intensely cruel, dominant person who has made you suffer emotionally and was working himself up to physically hurt you—again—shows up and shoots your mate. Shoots me! Imagine someone shooting me right in front of you and you’ve just turned. What would you do, Chester?”

  “I’d fucking kill him,” Chester sighed. “Or I’d want to, Kelly.”

  “I would. I’d kill someone who shot you without a second thought. I wouldn’t hesitate for a second. And I have been a wolf all my life, Ches. And I’d go after that person and take him or her down like there was no tomorrow. Because for me, there wouldn’t be.”

  “She’ll still have to answer. It’s not the kind of thing we can ignore, sweetheart. No matter circumstances or her intention or how green she is. It doesn’t matter.”

  “I just need reassurance that the pack will be accepting and gentle and, you know, lenient. She didn’t do this intentionally. I think it was just the perfect circumstances at the perfect time. She had aggression for him as it was. He shot her lover, her friend, her mate. She was full of new feelings and urges and then rage. She took him down, Ches. I mean, she took him down. It was a kill very much like a lifelong wolf would do. It was intense.”

  “Are you okay? Should I come?”

  Kelly hesitated. Things were always better when Chester was there. She opened her mouth but nothing came out.

  “That’s a yes. You are the most stubborn woman. Ever. Give me a few hours. I’m bringing some of the boys with me.” The boys were a group of brothers who had been abandoned on pack property. All four of them were shifters. The parents were as yet unknown. How they knew the boys would be safe on the farm where the pack lived was also unknown. But that was where they’d ended up and the pack embraced them. Chester hurried on before she could argue. “We’ll find Garrett and this girl and we’ll get them safe and taken care of.”

  “I’m afraid for Garrett, Ches. He shouldn’t be shifting at all. Not after being shot. I’m afraid it will…” Kelly couldn’t bring herself to say it aloud.

  “Stop worrying. We won’t let anything happen to Garrett. He’s smart. He can’t be there for his mate if he’s dead. He’ll watch himself.”

  “Not with this girl. I don’t think he will. He’s just not right when it comes to her.”

  “Well, who is when they fall in love, Kelly?” Chester laughed. “Do you remember us?”

  She dropped her head, laughing for a moment, forgetting how worried she was. “Yes. I do. And we’re still sort of like that, aren’t we?”

  “Hopelessly in love,” Chester said. “In fact, I can’t wait to get my hands on—”

  “Chester!”

  “Sorry. But you know I wouldn’t be saying that if I didn’t know they were fine. They’re fine. Okay?”

  “Right.”

  “We’ll be there in a few hours. I have to let A.J. know what’s going on, then we’ll hit the road.”

  A.J. would step in and keep an eye on the farm while Chester was gone. Alexander James Mann was not someone to be questioned so they never worried about even the greenest of wolves when they were gone.

  “I’ll be here. I don’t want to go searching alone and I don’t want to spook them. Garr
ett’s really upset that she will have to address the elders.”

  “Standard operating procedure. That boy should know that. You just sit tight, and Kelly?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Clean up the scene there. Just in case. If she chased him off into the woods, I doubt anything will come of it but it should look like he was never there.”

  “I’m way ahead of you,” she said. Kelly told him she loved him and hung up. It was going to be a long night and with all the worrying, cleaning would keep her sane if nothing else. She was out of things to cook, so she’d have to clean up to kill the time for Chester do show.

  ———

  She woke with the rain. Liv found an old pair of jeans and a sweatshirt in the linen closet, wadded up in a box of cleaning supplies. She could only assume it had been the cleaning attire the former owner used to get the house ready for sale. It smelled of sweat and chemicals but it would cover her. She ran the two miles to the main road through the woods, her bare feet barely feeling the cold wet leaves, rocks and sticks. She could smell sugary donuts and coffee and knew that the Simpsons’ small bakery would be open already. The Donut Nook would have coffee and fresh pastries. The Simpsons worked the small store alone. Or they had, she hoped it was still so.

  The back door was open as usual, the screen door giving a dirty segmented view of the kitchen. She heard Fran and Sam out front chatting up a customer. They’d given her plenty of free donuts and hot chocolate back in the day. The young girl from the troubled home, she never had any money and they had no kids. They doted on her when she made the short but lonely walk through the peaceful woods, following the scent of sugar and grease and sounds of laughter that could be heard before you even hit the shop.

  She pulled the screen door slowly so it didn’t scream. Her shaking hands had a hard time pouring the coffee into two to-go cups. She scooped random donuts from the large silver bakery trays and dumped them in a white paper bag. She clamped it in her teeth and grabbed the cups. Backing out of the kitchen slowly, she made a mental note to come back and leave them money when she wasn’t a naked pauper. Liv knew in her heart that Fran and Sam would understand.

  Garrett needed calories and so did she. She ran back the way she had come, ignoring her outraged mind. So this is what you’ve become. Stealing from people who were kind to you?

  It didn’t matter that she’d pay them back. First she had killed a man, now she was a thief. But she was doing this for Garrett and thought she had been doing the other for him too. Why was love so fucking hard, she wondered. Liv held off tears as she ran, head down, bag swinging, trying not to slosh hot coffee on her skin. She had to get Garrett some nutrition so he could heal. She didn’t have time to focus on anything but that. And that was a good thing.

  Liv ran up the front steps, marveling at how surefooted she was now. She was the person who stumbled, fell, lost her balance and basically embodied klutzy. Now she maneuvered hills and valleys, rocks and unstable surfaces like a pro. The rich smell of fat and sugar filled her head and her stomach rumbled.

  She nudged the door with her hip and stepped into the gloomy house, very much like a tomb. A tomb of her childhood. A tomb of the bad she had endured. Leaving here with Garrett, working all this shit out, would be like a rebirth. Coming back from the dead. It could only get better.

  Liv found him in the bedroom, in wolf form, sleeping. The wound in his chest not so visible through his fur. She was sure it’d be worse as a man. He told her, somewhere in the middle of the night, that letting himself be wolf was easier. It would conserve his energy and he’d heal faster. She plopped down and brushed the fur on his nose, leaned in and whispered, “I have donuts and coffee, wolf boy. Will you wake up for me?”

  He opened his eyes, the color of January ice and panted. She tried to watch him change but again it was too fast. A jittery blur of swirling motion and color and there was her Garrett, gorgeously naked, mussed hair, stubbly face, grinning at her. “Did you say coffee?” he said but he sniffed the air and tore open the bag. “Wow. And seven pounds of donuts.”

  “I was just grabbing,” Liv said, laughing.

  “What do you want, little girl, asked the big bad wolf,” he said, waving a bear claw in her face.

  Liv saw the wound gape a bit as he moved his arm. Saw the deepened lines around his face, saw how pale he was. Her eyes darted to the bedding and the rust-colored stain there. Not a wide stain but who knew how deep? Who knew how many layers of the mattress were clouded with his blood? She saw him wince and shift the pastry from one hand to the other.

  “Garrett,” she said, reaching for him. He shied from her, pulling that side of his body back. “Garrett,” she said again, tearing up, her throat closing. He was hurting, he was bleeding, for her.

  “It’s fine.” He bit into the donut, chewing. “I just need food.”

  “Garrett, we have to go back. Now. You need them to help you.”

  “You help me,” he said.

  “I don’t think they’ll do anything to me, Garrett. But if they do, I deserve it, I killed a man.”

  “He wasn’t a man. He was a coward,” Garrett said, his eyes dark with pain and anger.

  “Whatever. I took a life. And I can’t take yours. You need help.”

  “You help me,” he said again, pulling her in and kissing her. His mouth warm and full of sugar glaze. “You’re all I need now, Liv. I won’t go back until I know they understand.”

  Liv nodded but her eyes went to the ragged hole in his chest again. She knew it should be much smaller if not nearly gone by now. It wasn’t. And that scared the hell out of her.

  ———

  Healing

  Garrett could feel the worry rolling off Liv like smoke from an oil fire. He tried to ignore it, he also tried to act as if nothing was wrong but the pain was radiating up from his chest, around the back of his shoulder and down his arm. The bleeding had tapered off unless he moved too much and provoked it but he feared infection had set in. He could smell a slight spoiled scent when he moved a certain way and if that was him he was smelling, he had a narrow window of treatment before things got more complicated. But offering her up to the elders to possibly make an example of was too much. It wasn’t how it normally played for the pack but once or twice A.J. had argued for and won punishment for rogue wolves that seemed way more intense than the crime. And A.J. didn’t take very kindly to changelings. He was a bit of a bloodline snob.

  A.J. was what worried him. He was the avenger of the pack. Inside the pack, that is, because A.J. had done nothing to avenge Eileen. The outside world was not what A.J. worried himself with.

  “I’m right as rain. It takes time for us to heal too. Not as long as you but it is a gunshot wound, Liv, and I hate to tell you, getting shot sucks no matter what your nature.”

  She smiled at him but he knew she wasn’t buying it. “Hey, we’ll check in tomorrow, okay? We’ll find a way to contact Kelly and see what she says. Got it?”

  “Got it.”

  “Is it a deal?”

  “It’s a deal. Here, eat these. Eat all of these! I’m going to go check the shower. See if we have water.”

  “You do that. But I’m not standing in a cold shower for anyone.”

  Liv wrinkled her nose at him. “Hmm. A prima donna, eh? How about if I clean the tub and then see if I can fire the gas stove. How do you feel about a tepid bath made with boiled water?”

  “I could warm to the idea,” Garrett said. He took a huge bite of a cruller and watched her smile.

  When she turned, he forced himself to swallow. The sweet dough tasted like sawdust and pennies in his mouth. He was so fucking tired, all he wanted to do was sleep. His hands trembled and his head buzzed with dizziness. Just one more day and they would contact Kelly. It would be fine.

  ———

  Garrett tried to ignore how utterly wiped out he felt. He had sprawled on the old, dusty mattress, listening to her move around the house to get a bath ready for him. He could smell st
agnant air, old anger and her fretting so clearly.

  The sound of Liv cleaning and then multiple trips up from the kitchen with water should have been music to his ears. Entirely homey, comforting sounds. Domestic sounds that could never be more reassuring than when you were laid up in bed for some reason. He did love the sound of her moving about but he also realized that for the most part, he was weakened. If anything were to happen, he had no idea how much his body could handle. Or if it could rise to the occasion at all.

  He should very well shift and stay that way but the act of shifting scared him. What if he got stuck? What if it made him weaker? Garrett decided to just stay as he was until he had to shift.

  “I found these,” she said, coming in and holding up small packets. “Aspirin. Prepackaged. They don’t expire until the beginning of next year. And this is good through this month. Lucky us.” She smiled, waving a tube of antibiotic cream at him.

  “Yeah, if you have to get shot, do it before the ointment goes bad, am I right?” He tried to laugh and winced.

  She caught it, frowning, shaking her head. “Garrett, let’s just go home and we’ll work it out. I’ll bite the bullet. I’m a big girl. If you can’t do the time, don’t do the cr—”

  “No. I’m fine. You’re overreacting. It’s been a shit storm of a few days, yeah?” He grinned, biting his lip to keep from wincing again. “Help me up and wash me, baby. Make me clean.”

  Liv laughed but the laugh was forced and that killed him a little. “I doubt there is any way to make you clean, you dirty pervert.”