by Jess Dee
She unbuckled her belt, freeing it from her jeans. There was not another man in the world she’d do this for. Not out in the open, exposed for anyone to see.
“Now the button,” he rasped.
She complied. Traffic from the main road was muted by distance. All around, nature called. Kookaburras laughed from hidden branches, a magpie cawed to its mate, and the wind rustled through the leaves of the surrounding trees. Anticipation hummed through her veins.
“Take them off.” His eyes trained on her waist, on the hand that rested on her bare stomach.
She kicked off her shoes, lifted her butt, and pushed her pants over her hips. Then she shimmied out of her jeans, leaving them in a pile at her feet. Shifting her legs, she ran her finger between them, tracing a line from her lips to her clit and back again. “Wet,” she muttered thickly.
“Get out of the car.” He sounded tormented.
She opened the door and climbed out. Her body rejoiced in the freedom of space, and she stretched languorously.
“Should I leave my panties on?” She looked at him over her shoulder.
From his expression, she assumed he was in no state to answer.
A smile of feminine satisfaction tugged at her lips. Casually, she bent over and removed them, dropping them on the seat before taking a step so she stood at the side of the trunk. Butt naked.
She rested her bottom on it. The metallic paint warmed her ass, and the breeze cooled her bare flesh. “Coming to join me?”
The sound of the door creaking was answer enough.
Expectation crackled between them. Blood pumped through her veins, and need flared in her belly. Her head dropped back, and she closed her eyes. Ran her hand over the neatly trimmed thatch on her mound and lower. She touched herself. Her lips were slick, and she dipped a finger inside, groaning.
Footsteps crunched against the leaves on the ground beside the car, and then silence. He stood before her.
“In your office that day, you got me all worked up. I wanted you to fuck me like you said you would.” She shook her head, remembered her frustration. Remembered the anger in his voice. “You didn’t…you never… All you did was apologize.” She opened her eyes. His shirt was unbuttoned and hung loose. His hooded gaze focused on her hand. “I didn’t just want your apology, Adam. I wanted your touch, too.” She wanted more than that now. She wanted everything he had to give her. “I still want your touch.”
“Give me your hand.” She heard the effort it took for him to speak.
She reached for him with her free hand.
“Not that one.”
Reluctantly, she withdrew and held it out to him. He lifted it to his mouth and licked her with his exquisitely warm tongue. First the nail and then the tip, and then he drew the whole finger into his mouth and suckled.
She cried out, and he released her, guided her hand back between her legs.
“Touch yourself, sweetheart. I want…” He swallowed. “I want to watch you come.”
She wouldn’t make a minute.
She dipped her hand between her slickened folds, watched his mouth open and close, and pulled back out.
Sensation fizzed inside. Her lips were swollen, her groin sensitized. The look in his eyes was possibly the most arousing thing she’d ever witnessed.
She struggled to speak. “Your eyes…watching me.” It was impossible to form whole sentences. “Makes me…heady, hot.” She fucked herself again, massaged her clit. Sensation built, making her breathless.
She gasped. “I’m coming.” The pressure crowned, and waves rippled over her. “Adam…” The orgasm rolled through her, the tremors continuing longer than she’d expected. It was Adam. Watching her. The gratification it evoked was almost as heady as the rush of her climax.
“Fuck, Lexi.” The words sounded as if they’d been torn from his throat.
Before the waves had time to settle, he pulled her off the car, flipped her around, and pushed her shoulders down—like their fantasy. Her breasts squashed against the warm trunk, her ass poked into the air. Her pussy still pulsed from her orgasm.
The heat from the car warmed her nipples, soothed her breasts. She heard the rip of a condom packet, felt his pants as they swished down his legs, and there he was, pushing into her, filling her. She’d craved this. This and so much more. He readily surrendered his body to her—would he surrender his emotions as well?
She gasped as he thrust, desire exploding like giant fireworks. There was no time to adapt to his presence, to shift to accommodate him. He slammed into her hard and fast, repeatedly.
“Oh God, Adam.” Rational thought became impossible. She wanted to connect with him on a deeper level—sex wasn’t the only thing she desired from him. But at this point, it was the only thing she could focus on, the only thing she needed.
The last orgasm had been gentle, rippling through her in soft tremors. This one blindsided her. It came on swift and powerful and sent her into violent spasms of pleasure. She screamed as the euphoria engulfed her, deafening everything but the sound of Adam’s moans. Her inner walls clenched around him, nerve endings igniting in a fire of delight, demanding his release. He gave it to her, his orgasm as wild and uninhibited as hers.
When it was over, he collapsed on top of her, and the two of them lay on the BMW, dazed in the aftermath of their passion. Adam’s chest pressed into her back. With no small measure of satisfaction, Lexi registered the synchronized pounding of their hearts. She’d successfully shared his fantasy, turning it into a very pleasurable reality. Perhaps now he might share more of himself with her, maybe even reveal his secrets to her.
…
The last rim of golden fire dipped below the line of trees on the horizon, leaving a pale orange-and-pink glow bathing the leaves in an ethereal light. Adam sipped his scotch as he watched Lexi. She stood beside him, leaning against the rail of the balcony.
“It’s breathtaking,” she whispered, as though loath to disturb the tranquility that descended around them.
Birdcalls faded with the sun, and in their place frogs chirped noisily. The leaves rustled in the breeze and the calm of the evening enveloped him. Here he could be himself. Here he could let down his defenses and let go of his anger and his sadness and simply enjoy living. It was the only place he found any peace.
“I’m glad you like it.” The wind played with her hair, sending tendrils floating around her face.
“I’ve been transported to another world. There’s no one around for miles, is there?”
“Think I would have pulled over earlier if there was?” They shared a private smile, and Adam tried unsuccessfully to ignore the intimacy of the moment. “Katoomba’s about a twenty-minute drive from here, and the closest neighbors are five kilometers away. I like the isolation.”
“It’s a perfect escape. You must come out here every weekend.”
He shrugged. “I come when I find the time. It’s not as often as I’d like.” If he managed to get here once every two months, it was a lot. This weekend he’d had to come, and he’d had to bring Lexi with him. His chance meeting with Tracey had dredged up old memories and left him shaken. For the last ten days, loneliness had descended on him like a thick, grey cloud. This morning he’d experienced a compulsive need to squelch his self-imposed isolation. Just for a weekend.
The hurt was always there. Always lurking. With Lexi, some of the pain eased. It never left; it just abated a little. He needed this time away with her, this time-out from his memories.
“It’s your reprieve from life, isn’t it?”
He didn’t answer, didn’t want to.
“You’ve got that look in your eyes.”
Adam lifted his glass, tried to take another sip, but he couldn’t swallow. He put the glass down and stared out at the night, heard the stream below trickling over rocks in its path. “What look?”
“The haunted one.” She stood closer to him, touched his cheek. “The one that tells me you’ve lived through the worst life has to offer.
”
Damn it. He couldn’t get into this, not now. This weekend was meant to help him escape his memories, not confront them.
“What happened to you?”
He shook his head.
“Talk to me, please.”
The words jammed in his throat. He wasn’t ready. He’d never be ready.
“Let me in. Help me understand.”
If anyone would understand, it was Lexi. Part of him wanted to tell her, to open up. Another part couldn’t go there. It hurt too damn much.
“Trust me,” she whispered.
He shook his head again. “It’s not a matter of trust.”
“Then what is it?”
“Please, don’t ask.”
“I want to help you.”
“I can’t go there.” Even he could hear the pain in his voice.
“Adam…”
“You have to cut me some slack on this one. Give me some space.” He didn’t mean to snap, dammit. It was the pain. He had to make it go away.
Her hand vanished, and she took a step back. “I… I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.”
He grabbed her hand, held it in his, but the contact wasn’t enough. He pulled her close, wrapped his arms around her, and held her tight. “Some things…” He cleared his throat, tried again. “Some things are too…hard to talk about.” Then for lack of ability to say any more, he simply repeated himself. “Some things are too hard.”
She rested her chin on his chest and looked up at him. “I’m sorry. It isn’t my business. You don’t have to say anything.” She opened her mouth again, shut it, and chewed on her lower lip. Then, as if rethinking her words, she added, “But when…if…you ever need to talk, I’ll be here. I’ll be right here.”
Chapter Twelve
Lexi wasn’t sure what woke her. Her eyes blinked open. For a few seconds, she couldn’t work out where she was. The room was pitch black, the bed hard and unfamiliar, and a woodsy scent permeated the air. A cicada chirped outside and a frog croaked. She forced herself awake, waited for the fog to lift, and then she remembered.
She was with Adam, in his cabin. In his bed, where they’d made love long into the night.
So what had woken her?
A muffled sound like a soft cough echoed through the house. She rolled over and reached for Adam. He wasn’t there.
The sound grew louder. A painful, drawn-in breath followed by a moan had her sitting bolt upright. Then came the sobbing, like cries wrenched from a tortured soul.
She threw off the covers and slipped out of bed. Holding her hands in front of her, she made her way through the inky blackness. The tormented cries guided her down the passage and into the lounge.
It wasn’t quite so dark in there—the moon shone through the open windows, bathing the room in pale light. Adam lay on his back on the couch. One hand was raised above his head, the other arm flung out over the edge of the cushion. Tears fell uninterrupted down his cheeks, and his face was contorted in an agonized mask. Harsh, barking sobs jarred the stillness around him.
Lexi’s stomach clenched. Tears filled her own eyes. She watched helplessly as, once again, Adam endured his unspeakable grief alone.
“Adam?” she whispered but received no response. She edged nearer, crouched before him on the carpet. “Riley?” He didn’t move. She peered closely at him and realized with a start that he was asleep. “Oh, Adam,” she breathed, her heart close to breaking. She took his hand, cradled it in hers, and let him cry. Her own tears spilled over, and she wiped at her cheeks.
Time passed, how much Lexi wasn’t sure. Slowly, the distressed sobbing subsided. His cries became more subdued then turned into soft and steady weeping.
Careful not to wake him, she retrieved a roll of toilet paper from the bathroom and used it to blot his tears. The knot in her stomach eased as his weeping gradually diminished, leaving only the ragged breaths that rattled his body.
“Timmy,” he moaned. Another tear slid unchecked down his face.
Timmy. The cause of all Adam’s heartache. Who was he?
Hurt radiated from his sleeping form and pulled at Lexi’s heart. He looked lost and alone and heartbroken. She perched beside him on the couch and stroked his hair. “Hush now,” she whispered as his chest shuddered in the aftermath of his grief. “Hush.”
Moments later his breathing evened out. His pulse slowed, and his body relaxed beneath her arm. Just when she assumed he’d fallen back into a deep sleep, he gripped her elbow and gasped, “Timmy?”
“No,” she said gently, not wanting to startle him, “it’s Lexi.”
“Lexi? What are you doing here?” He pushed himself up and stared at her, his eyes drawn in confusion.
“You were dreaming.” She kept her voice low. “You called out. I came to see if you were okay.”
“Timmy.” His shoulders slumped and his eyes closed. “I was dreaming about him.”
“You said his name a few times.”
He nodded, keeping his eyes shut. “Did I say anything else?”
“No.” She hesitated then added, “You were crying.”
His eyes opened, and he stared blindly in front of him. “I always cry when I dream about him.”
Again, her insides contorted at his pain. “Do you want to talk about it?”
He shook his head. His face looked pallid and bruised.
“Is there anything I can get you?”
“No, thank you. I’m okay now. It’s over.”
“Some water, maybe?”
“Nothing.” He shook his head again.
She sat quietly, wanting more than anything to console him but unsure how to. “Come back to bed. You need sleep.”
He dragged a hand over his face. “I can’t sleep. Not after the dreams. The memories won’t rest.”
What memories?
It didn’t matter. All that mattered was giving Adam the comfort he so desperately needed. “Would it help if I held you?”
He looked at her with haunted eyes. “I don’t know, sweetheart. But I’d sure as hell like to try.”
…
Adam awoke to the unfamiliar heat of warm, naked flesh. She lay spooned against him, her butt cradled in his hips, her legs pressed against his. The silky skin of her back was so close his heartbeat ricocheted off her spine. Weak light peeked in from beneath the blinds, dappling the room with its dim rays.
He was already hard, bursting with a staggering need to shift her leg and push into her hot depths. He craved release, anything to burn off the agitation left over from the night before.
He’d had one of his dreams.
Timmy called to him, crying.
Adam couldn’t find him.
He searched, frantically. Dread squeezed at his throat. Timmy was close. His cries pierced the air, wrenching Adam’s soul—but he couldn’t reach him. He yelled Timmy’s name, but his screams were mute. He sprinted toward the cries, but his legs didn’t move. Sweat poured from his forehead. He had to find Timmy, help him. He had to, but he couldn’t.
God help him, he couldn’t find Timmy.
Awake, Adam could still hear the cries echoing through his heart. He clung to them helplessly until, like Timmy, they slipped out of his reach.
He took a shuddering breath and grasped the only thing that provided him with any measure of comfort. Lexi.
He ran his hand down her side and over her hip, pausing at her thigh, absorbing its heat. He need only push gently on her leg to gain access to sweet relief.
She’d come to him, consoled him while he wept. Protected him while he slept.
His fingers trailed back up over her hip, across her arm, and touched a bare breast. He swallowed hard, stunned by the intensity of his need for her. It wasn’t just relief he sought. It was Lexi. He ached to make love to her, needed the comfort and the passion only she could give.
She stirred and stretched then cuddled back into him. Goose bumps rose over her skin, and she shivered. Her wakefulness didn’t end Adam’s slow explor
ation of her body. He continued to stroke her, gleaning whatever pleasure and reassurance he could take.
She was silent, but a wealth of unspoken words lay around them, covering them like a blanket.
“Morning,” he whispered.
“Good morning,” she answered but didn’t turn around.
Lord knew he appreciated it. He couldn’t look her in the eyes yet, couldn’t bear the sympathy he’d find in her probing gaze.
Sparks ignited in his stomach as she arched into him. Her buttocks pushed against his erection, and she sighed as he ground his cock into her.
He had to say something. It wasn’t fair to put the onus on her to speak first. She’d have questions, lots of them, but she’d be cautious about asking. When she’d tried yesterday, he’d cut her off.
After last night, he couldn’t avoid the truth any longer.
“You came to me.” His voice was raw.
“You needed me.” Her body tensed, as though she wanted to say more but held back.
He still needed her. As hard as it was to acknowledge, it was the truth. “No one’s seen me cry in a long time.”
She took his hand and placed it on her breast, over her racing heart. “It must get lonely. Having no one to comfort you when you hurt.”
Excruciatingly lonely, especially after one of his dreams. “I wasn’t alone last night. You were with me.” Usually he couldn’t sleep afterwards. He’d spend the rest of the long, dark night prowling his house. Last night, he’d tossed and turned for a while, but eventually, under her soft touch and soothing embrace, he’d drifted off to sleep.
She made a small sound as he flicked his thumb over her pebbled nipple. A lick of desire shot through him.
“I’m glad I was here.” Her voice caught, and she cleared her throat. “Did…did it help?”
He dropped his hand to her stomach, brushed it over her belly, and she quivered.
Pain cut through him. “Nothing helps. But I was glad you were here, too.” No one had held him after one of his dreams before. No one had been there to share his pain. He hadn’t let anyone near. Until Lexi.
Adam inched his hand lower, making her shudder. “I’m still glad you’re here.” He touched her clit, and she gasped.
