by Jin Yong
“That’s right! If one bites his tongue off, he would be dead for sure! Even he said so too,” one of the freaks said.
“He’s not dead yet. His words are not dependable,” another one argued.
“He didn’t bite off his tongue, so of course he won’t die. If he did, he would die!” a third one commented.
Linghu Chong gathered his strength and jerked his arms abruptly. Instantly the pain from his wrists went deep into his marrow, yet he was still not even able to move a single bit. In the instant, he suddenly hit upon a way out of the trouble. He let out a loud scream and then pretended to be out cold. The six freaks all cried out in surprise. The one who grabbed at Linghu Chong’s cheeks immediately let go of them.
“He was scared to death!” a freak commented.
“He can’t be scared to death. He’s not that big of a loser,” another one disagreed.
“Even if he’s dead, he wasn’t scared to death,” a third one suggested.
“Then how did he die?” the previous one asked.
Lu Dayou actually believed that they had tortured big apprentice brother to death and burst into a loud cry.
“I think he was scared to death,” a freak insisted.
“You grabbed him too hard. He was grabbed to death,” another one suggested.
“How on earth did he die?” a third one questioned.
“I shut down my arteries and killed myself!” Linghu Chong shouted loudly.
The six freaks were shocked when they suddenly heard Linghu Chong talking, then they all broke into loud laughs and said, “Aha, he’s not dead. He was pretending to be dead.”
“I wasn’t pretending. After I died I came back to life again,” Linghu Chong claimed.
“Do you really know how to shut down your arteries? That must be a very difficult Kung Fu. Will you teach me?” a freak asked.
“The Shut Down Your Own Arteries Kung Fu is very advanced. This dude doesn’t know it. He’s lying to you,” another freak said.
“Did you say I don’t know it? If I don’t know it, how could I have shut down my arteries and killed myself earlier?” Linghu Chong challenged.
“Well…well…that’s really odd.” The freak scratched his head and didn’t know how to answer.
Linghu Chong now was sure that even though the six freaks had excellent Kung Fu skills, their brains were certainly dull-witted to the extreme. So he said, “If you don’t let go of me, I am going to shut down my arteries again. After I die this time, I won’t be able to come back to life any more.”
The two freaks that had been grabbing onto Linghu Chong’s wrists tightly immediately let go of him and said in unison, “You can’t die. If you die, it would be terrible.”
“Well, if you don’t want me dead, you’ll have to move aside and let me through. I got to take care of some important business,” Linghu Chong suggested.
The two freaks blocking his way shook their heads at the same time, both to the left and then both to the right. “No way! No way! You have to come with us to see the little nun,” they said in unison.
Linghu Chong gathered his inner energy and jumped up, hoping to be able to jump over the two freaks’ heads. But to his surprise, the two freaks also jumped up in great speed and their two bodies made a flying wall that blocked Linghu Chong’s path again. Linghu Chong’s body bumped with the two freaks’ bodies and fell back down to the ground.
While still in mid-air, Linghu Chong had already grabbed hold of his sword handle. He waved his arm to draw his sword, but suddenly felt great burdens on both of his shoulders. The two freaks behind him had each reached out with an arm and placed a hand on each of his shoulders. His sword was only about a foot out of the sheath and he simply could not draw it out. The two hands on his shoulders each seemed to have weighed hundreds of pounds. His body was immediately pushed lower. He couldn’t even stand straight, not mentioning drawing his sword.
“Let’s carry him away!” after the two freaks pushed him down onto the ground, they suggested with big smiles.
The two freaks in front of Linghu Chong each reached out with a hand to grab onto his ankles and picked him off the ground.
“Hey! Hey! What are you doing?” Lu Dayou shouted.
“This chap is so annoying. Let’s kill him!” a freak suggested and raised his palm high, ready to strike down onto Lu Dayou’s head.
“Don’t kill him! Don’t kill him!” Linghu Chong cried out loudly.
“Alright, I’ll listen to you. I won’t kill him. I’ll seal his Mute Acupoint instead,” that freak replied. He didn’t even bother turning around and simply pointed backward with his finger. In a whistling sound, he had sealed Lu Dayou’s Mute Acupoint with a beam of energy. Lu Dayou was in the middle of screaming, but the scream suddenly stopped abruptly as if someone had cut his scream off using a pair of scissors, and his body immediately huddled up.
Linghu Chong had rarely seen such accuracy and mighty power demonstrated in the freak’s acupoint-sealing skills; he couldn’t help but show great admiration.
“Excellent Kung Fu!” he praised.
The freak was greatly pleased. “This is nothing! I have a lot more cool Kung Fu skills. Let me demonstrate a few of them for you,” he said with a big smile.
If it were in normal days, Linghu Chong would have wanted to broaden his horizons, but at the moment he really worried about his Master’s safety and was very anxious.
“I don’t want to watch!” he shouted.
“Why don’t you want to watch? You’ll have to watch!” the freak said angrily.
He jumped into the air and flew over Linghu Chong and the four freaks holding Linghu Chong like a big bird. His body maintained a horizontal position when he flew in the air and looked as if he was a swallow gliding in the air with beautiful postures.
“Beautiful!” Linghu Chong couldn’t help but blurt out another praise.
The freak landed back to the ground smoothly and gently, without even bringing up any dust. By the time he turned around, great smiles piled up on his long horsy face.
“This is really nothing! I’ve got a lot more even better than that,” he said happily.
He was at least somewhere close to sixty or seventy years old, yet his temper and the way he behaved was just like a little kid that wanted to keep showing off as soon as someone praised him. The superb and profound Kung Fu and the childish and naïve behavior of him happened to be on the exact opposite in extreme.
Linghu Chong thought, “Master and Master-Wife are in trouble right now surrounded by tough enemy. The enemy has all those Songshan Sword School, Taishan Sword School, and the bunch of elite fighters to back him, even if I go over there, the situation wouldn’t be approved much. Why don’t I trick these freaks into going over there to help Master and Master-Wife out?” So he shook his head and said, “You guys’ little Kung Fu is far from good enough to show off here on Mount Huashan.”
“Far from good enough? What are you talking about? You got caught by us, didn’t you?” that freak rebuffed.
“I am just a nobody in the Huashan Sword School. What’s so difficult to beat me? Right now, there are many elite master hands from Songshan Sword School, Taishan Sword School, Hengshan Sword School, and Huashan Sword School gathered here at Mount Huashan. Of course you guys wouldn’t be brave enough to go provoke them, would you?” Linghu Chong bluffed.
“Why would we be afraid to provoke them? Where are they?” the freak asked.
“We won the bet with that little nun, so the little nun asked us to come get Linghu Chong. She never asked us to provoke any elite master hands from the Songshan Sword School or the Taishan Sword School. We should only do one favor for one win. If we do too many favors, it’s not worth it. Let’s go,” another one suggested.
Hearing those words, Linghu Chong felt very relieved. “It turned out that they were sent by little apprentice sister Yilin. Then they must not be enemies of mine. It seemed that they had lost a bet and thus had to come to get me. It’s fu
nny that they still want to save their faces and claim to have actually won the bet instead.”
“That’s a good idea,” he said. “The elite master hand from the Songshan Sword School said that he looked down the most upon those six old freaks with horsy faces that looked like tangerine skins, and as soon as he sees the six of them, he would nip them dead one by one like nipping puny ants. Too bad that as soon as those six old freaks hear his voice, they all immediately ran far way and there was no way for him to find them.”
At these words, the six freaks roared in great outrage. The four of them who had been carrying Linghu Chong sat him back down on the ground and then shouted all together.
“Where is this guy? Take us to him. We’d like a fight with him.”
“What about the Songshan Sword School or the Taishan Sword School? Humph! Peach Valley’s Six Fairies think nothing of them.”
“Is he insane or something? How dare he nip Peach Valley’s Six Fairies dead like nipping puny ants?”
“Well, you call yourselves Peach Valley’s Six Fairies, but he kept on calling you Peach Valley’s Six Trolls, or sometimes Peach Valley’s Six Kids. I’d advise the Six Fairies of you to better stay as far away from him as possible. That guy’s Kung Fu is so vicious. You don’t stand a chance fighting him,” Linghu Chong added.
“No way! No way! Let’s go fight him and see who’s better,” a freak shouted out.
“I think this doesn’t look too good. If that elite master hand from the Songshan Sword School dares to say so, he must have superb skills to back himself up. He had called us Peach Valley’s Six Kids, then he probably is a senior master of ours, and we probably can’t beat him in a fight. The less trouble we have to deal with, the better. Why don’t we go back now?” another freak suggested.
“Sixth brother has the least guts. We haven’t even had the fight yet. How do you know we can’t beat him?” another one exclaimed.
“What if he really can nip us dead like nipping ants? Wouldn’t that be real bad luck? And after we fight him, we’d all be nipped dead already, how could we run away by then?” the coward freak asked.
“That’s right!” Linghu Chong laughed out loud inwardly. “If you want to run away, you need to hurry up. If he gets the news and then comes after you, you won’t have enough time to run away by then.”
Hearing these words, the coward freak immediately started running. Only after a blurry flash, he had already vanished from everyone’s sight.
“Wow, he’s gotten really excellent Qing-Gong skills.” Linghu Chong thought to himself in surprise.
“Sixth brother has no guts. It’s alright that he ran away. We’ll go fight that elite master hand from the Songshan Sword School,” a freak proposed.
“Let’s go! Let’s go! Peach Valley’s Six Fairies are undefeatable! Why would we be afraid of him?” the rest of the freaks all agreed.
“Hurry up and take us over there. Let’s see how he’ll nip us dead like nipping puny ants,” a freak said as he patted on Linghu Chong’s shoulder gently.
“Well, I can take you over, but as a true man, I, Linghu Chong, will never let others force me into doing things. I really resented it when I heard that Songshan Sword School elite master hand ridicule the six of you left and right. Also because I admired the superb Kung Fu of yours very much, that’s why I am volunteering to take you over there from a sense of justice so you can get even with him. If you force me to do this or that simply because you have more bodies here, I’ll never do it even if I have to die!” Linghu Chong announced.
“Great! You have quite some integrity and sharp eyes too to be able to see that the six brothers of us have superb Kung Fu skills. We brothers admire you too!” the five freaks all applauded.
“If so, I’d be glad to take you guys over there. When you see him, you must not speak or act irresponsibly, so people in the Martial World won’t hold you guys for ridicule and say that Peach Valley Six Fairies are naive, childish and lack common sense. You have to all listen to my instructions, otherwise, you will make me lose face greatly and we’ll all look stupid,” Linghu Chong said.
He was just testing water here. Who would have thought that the five freaks immediately agreed with no complaints whatsoever?
“That’s perfect! We can’t ever let others call us, Peach Valley’s Six Fairies, naive, childish and lack common sense!” the five of them answered in unison.
Apparently they have heard those words “naive, childish and lack common sense” many times already, and considered them very embarrassing comments. Linghu Chong’s words were almost like music to their ears.
“Good. Will you please follow me?” Linghu Chong nodded at them and then hurried down the mountain path.
The five freaks followed right behind Linghu Chong carrying Lu Dayou with them. Only after a couple of miles, they found the coward freak popping his head up and down to peek out from behind a big rock. Linghu Chong figured that this one definitely needed some encouragement, so he said to him.
“That Songshan Sword School’s old folk’s Kung Fu is far from yours. You don’t need to be afraid of him. We are going there to kick his ass. Why don’t you come with us?”
“Great! I am going too!” the freak said with great joy. However, he immediately asked again, “Well, you said that his Kung Fu is far from mine. Is his Kung Fu far better than mine or far worse?” He was quite timid, so naturally he was very cautious.
“Of course yours is far better than his. When you were running earlier, I could tell that you have outstanding Qing-Gong skills. That old folk from the Songshan Sword School will never be able to keep up with you,” Linghu Chong said with a grin.
That freak was very pleased and decided to join the group, walking next to Linghu Chong, but he still wasn’t too sure about it, and asked, “What if he did catch up with me? What then?”
“I’ll always be by your side, and if he ever dares to catch up with you, humph! Humph!” Linghu Chong pulled his sword half a foot out of the sheath and then snapped it back in with a forceful push. “I’ll whack him with a single thrust!” he said.
“Wonderful! Wonderful! Hey, you have to keep your words!” the freak said with great joy!
“Of course! If he can’t keep up with you, then I don’t need to kill him,” Linghu Chong promised.
“Sure! If he can’t keep up with me, then we’ll let him go.” The freak smiled happily.
Linghu Chong laughed hard inwardly. He thought to himself, “Once you start running, I am sure it wouldn’t be an easy task to keep up with you!” He then figured, “These six old folks are unsophisticated and honest. They aren’t bad guys. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to make acquaintances with them.” So he spoke again.
“Six Fairies, your names have long resounded in my ears! Today I finally get to meet all of you. And sure enough, you all live up to your reputation. I was wondering what are the respectful names of the six of you?”
The six freaks had no idea that what Linghu Chong just said was totally illogical, and as soon as they heard him saying that their names had long resounded in his ears, all were wild with joy.
“I am the big brother. My name is Peachtree Root Fairy,” one said.
“I am the second. My name is Peachtree Trunk Fairy,” another one said.
“I am either the third or the fourth. My name is Peachtree Branch Fairy,” a third one said. He pointed at a fourth one and said, “He is either the third or the fourth. His name is Peachtree Leaf Fairy.”
“How come you don’t even know if you are the third or the fourth yourselves?” Linghu Chong asked in surprise.
“It’s not that we don’t know. It’s because my mom and dad forgot about it,” Branch Fairy explained.
“When your mom and dad gave birth to you, if they forgot that they had ever given birth to you, as a little kid, how would you know if there’s a you in the world?” Leaf Fairy interrupted.
“Right! Right! Luckily my parents remembered that they gave birth to me.” Linghu Cho
ng nodded while working hard to hold his laugh.
“Here you go!” Leaf Fairy said.
“So how did your parents forget about it?” Linghu Chong asked.
“At the time when Mom and Dad gave birth to us, the two brothers, they remembered who was the elder one and who was the younger one, however, they forgot about it a few years later. That’s why we don’t really know who is the third and who is the fourth,” Leaf Fairy said. He pointed at Branch Fairy and said, “He really wanted to be the third, and if I don’t call him third brother, he would start a fist fight with me. So I had to let him have it.”
“So you are two brothers.” Linghu Chong smiled.
“Yeah! We are six brothers!” Branch Fairy said.
Linghu Chong thought to himself, “Well, parents are dumb parents, no wonder they gave birth to six dumb sons.”
“What are you two’s names?” Linghu Chong asked the rest two.
“Let me tell him. I am the sixth. My name is Peachtree Fruit Fairy. My fifth brother is named Peachtree Flower Fairy,” the coward freak announced.
Linghu Chong was unable to stifle a laugh, thinking, “The Peachtree Flower Fairy has such an ugly face. He really has nothing even comparable to a peach tree flower.”
Seeing Linghu Chong’s smiling face, Flower Fairy said happily, “Among the six brothers, my name is the most beautiful one. Theirs are no match for mine!”
“Peachtree Flower Fairy is such a pleasant name, and Peachtree Root, Peachtree Trunk, Peachtree Branch, Peachtree Leaf, and Peachtree Fruit are all beautiful names too. Wonderful! Wonderful! If I could have a name so beautiful and pleasant, I’d be delighted beyond words.”
Every one of the six Fairies felt unspeakable happiness and couldn’t help but dance with joy, feeling that Linghu Chong was truly the number one nice guy in the world.
“Let’s keep going now. Will one of the Peachtree brothers please open my apprentice brother’s acupoint? Your acupoint-sealing techniques are way too advanced for me. There’s no way I’ll be able to open his acupoint all by myself,” Linghu Chong said with a smile.
Each getting a flattery, Peach Valley Six Fairies immediately vied with each other in rushing by Lu Dayou to open his sealed acupoints.
