She didn’t realize she’d spoken the question aloud until he responded.
“They’re not interested in my good deeds.” An ironic grin contorted his mouth. “Drama feeds the press, so I give it to them. The theatrics are also good marketing, keeps us in the fans’ eyes, so Tab approves. You really need to let your vexation with the press go.”
Easier said than done. He gave them drama in spades, but they didn’t even try to dig deeper into who he was. They just took his antics at face value and relished the tabloids they sold. She would never understand the logic behind their limited view of his life.
She shook her head and rose from the rocking chair. “I’ll never understand your relationship with the press. Or why you don’t let them see the real you.”
“They see the real me, darlin’. I keep telling you that.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. You’re a rebel-rousing-whoremonger who enjoys the limelight, rocking out, making money, and pussy…not necessarily listed in order of priority.”
He laughed. “Glad you’ve been listening.”
She’d call bullshit, but they’d had this disagreement once too often. He encouraged the press to mock him, but she couldn’t understand why the legitimate reporters, like the one who’d conducted their TV interview, didn’t hone in on the man hidden beneath the surface. The man that was the heart of Jase Collins. It was plain to see he was a family man. He’d been that before Faith, while raising his sister, so why’d they believe the shallow persona he put off the rest of the time?
Chalking it up as the eighth wonder of the world, Fallon shook her head. “How should I dress?”
His attention was already on their child when he replied, “Jeans is fine, so long as it’s something comfortable.”
Jase held her hand as they walked down the hall of the cancer wing. Rain dogged their feet, keeping an eye out for she didn’t know what, but she was guessing there weren’t too many would-be killers in the center. Jase’s attorney Clark Hanson joined them, along with Jase’s do-it-all and know-it-all agent-slash-PR-manager, Tab. Two hired hands pushed boxes of toys behind them, while Jase carried a smaller box in his hand. A special gift for one of the patients, decked out with pink polka dotted wrapping paper and a matching bow.
Suddenly he stopped and faced her. He looked her straight in the eye, but kept his voice low. “Don’t cry in front of them. They’re fighters, and they don’t need your pity.”
She nodded, not sure why he’d think she’d get emotional.
“You gotta cry, you can do it in the limo afterwards. Or excuse yourself to the restroom. Do what you gotta do, but not in front of them.”
“I won’t let you down.”
“You never do, darlin’.” Before she could say anything in response, he greeted the hospital employee that approached.
It was obvious by the staff’s familiarity with Jase, Clark, and Tab that Jase volunteered often. He introduced her to the staff, but by the fifth employee she’d forgotten the first person’s name.
“The kids are eager to see you.” The lady who seemed to be in charge of the wing smiled at him as they followed her into the rec hall.
Fallon stopped dead when they entered the room. She took in the children in varying stages of sickness and ages, and unexpected tears blurred her vision. Displaying his spectacular skill at sensing her moods, he squeezed her hand. One of the little girls spied him first. She screamed his name and ran for him. He caught her in his arms and hugged her tight. Tab came to his rescue and retrieved the gift box from his hand so he could devote his grip to the child. That’s when the rest of the little ones erupted with excitement, crashing around him like a sea of children.
Caught beside him in the middle of it all, she put on her bravest face. He was right, they were normal children, who happened to be sick, and they obviously loved her baby’s daddy. They didn’t deserve her pity. He was here to brighten their day, and she wouldn’t ruin it with her sadness at their unfair lot in life.
While holding the one little girl, Jase hugged each of the others as best he could, addressing them all by name. There was a couple he didn’t know, so he introduced himself to them and welcomed them to the center. It took a while, but he finally managed to tamp down their enthusiasm and prolific questions.
“Y’all say hi to Fallon.” He indicated her with a hand motion.
She waved at them.
“Is she your girlfriend?” a little boy of maybe eleven asked.
“She is.” Jase put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to his side.
The little girl in his arms snuggled against his chest, laying her head on his shoulder. She poked her thumb in her mouth and eyed Fallon. Dark rings stained the delicate flesh beneath the girl’s eyes, and Fallon’s heart wept for her struggles.
“Got any babies?” A girl holding a baby doll inquired.
“Yes, I have a little girl. Her name’s Faith.”
“I’m going to have a little girl when I grow up.”
Fallon prayed she would.
“My name’s Faith too.” Another child chimed in a high-pitched, excited voice.
“That’s a beautiful name.”
The girl beamed at her. “Want to color with me?”
And that quickly, she was welcomed into their day of activities.
After Jase handed out all the gifts he’d brought, he presented the girl in his arms with the pink polka dot box he’d been carrying. Inside was a tiara. As her eyes lit up and a smile spread across her face, he’d said, “I promised the princess a crown.”
They spent the next couple of hours engaged with the children in various activities. Every so often, she’d glance in Jase’s direction and find him participating in various events. Always wearing a smile and eager to chuckle with the kids. She colored pictures, drew stick men, and even read books to some of them. She was pretty sure Jase performed the same duties.
But when he pulled out a guitar, the children gravitated toward him, sitting on the carpeted area around him. “Bobby, do you wanna play for us?”
“Yeah!” If the boy’s excitement hadn’t been obvious in his voice, it showed with the way he launched from the floor and took the seat next to Jase.
All eyes of the little ones were rapt on Jase as he handed Bobby the guitar. “Y’all gonna sing with me?”
The mini-audience cheered their agreement. Bobby tested the guitar and Jase adjusted his fingers. After a few moments, Jase must’ve been satisfied with Bobby’s string plucking because he said, “One…two....” and then pointed at the kids.
We stand up and cheer
Stick our tongues out at fear
Inside is a light
That makes the day shine bright
We laugh and we play
We sing and we sway
All for a smile...
She couldn’t hear Jase over the loud raucous of the kids, but his grin said it all. He reveled in his time with them. Clapping his hands, he charged to his feet and pulled one of the girls to hers. Holding hands, they danced, her stomping her feet as he swayed, and that encouraged the others to jump and dance around them, while they continued to sing at the top of their lungs. A loud, joyous sound, full of rebellion, and, more importantly…life.
Our hearts are filled with love
Hugs just because of
Time with family
Makes our spirits full of glee
We are fighters
We are strong
All for a smile....
“He wrote that song just for them.” Tab said after sidling up beside Fallon. “Jase is a pain in my ass, but it’s in these moments when I remember why I put up with his bullshit.”
“Why does he put up with your bullshit?”
“Har. Har.” But Tab smiled.
God, Jase was so goodhearted she felt inadequate in comparison. She’d always been worried about her future, what she’d become, but never about helping others with the job she’d sought. Jase had created a safe haven for th
e sick who couldn’t afford ample care for whatever reason, and from what she’d been told by his attorney, all of them had lost at least one of their parents. He could empathize with their loss, but to receive the double whammy by getting sick, it was no surprise really that he’d chosen these children to help. And instead of getting the praise for it, he kept it low key.
Tears hit her eyes and she looked away from him, blinking them back quickly. Despite her best efforts, her voice came out thick and heavy, “He’s not pretending to be a good guy, Tab. He is a good guy.”
“Today he’s a good guy. Tomorrow he’ll go back to being pain-in-the-ass-Jase again.”
Their agent’s abrasive attitude irritated her. Not wanting to get into it with her in the presence of the children, Fallon watched Jase as he interacted with the kids. “I’m surprised you don’t insist on publicity for this.”
“I did.” A weary sigh hinted how much she longed for the marketing that would put a new spin on Jase’s character. “We fought like we always do. When he threatened to fire me and the rest of the band backed him, that’s when I realized he was serious about keeping this discreet. He’s a strange bird.”
No he wasn’t. He was just a man who happened to be a rock star, and he wanted to give back to the world. In typical Jase style, he gave back in a large way. He made a difference in these kids’ lives. There weren’t too many people who could say they’d impacted someone’s life in a good way, at least not when it counted.
“Sometimes the most rewarding things come without any acknowledgement by others.” Fallon thought Tab would do good to remember that.
As always, Jase had a hard time saying goodbye to the kids. Every month he visited, he left feeling blessed by them. They were the real heroes, the ones the world should be idolizing. Damn sure not some fucked-up rocker who couldn’t even convince the woman he wanted that he was worth committing to.
Fallon slid into the limo, and he climbed in after her. Tab and Clark had brought their vehicles so he’d said his goodbyes to them both inside. Rain shut the door to the vehicle, and he assumed took the passenger seat up front with the driver when the hired gun didn’t join them.
He couldn’t read Fallon’s mood. She was quiet, so he let her stew with her thoughts.
As the vehicle pulled into traffic, he leaned his head back against the seat. The grin that’d owned Katy’s face after he presented her with the promised tiara flashed through his mind. God, I hope she’s doing better next month when I return.
He’d had a moment to chat with her mom, and she’d divulged how today was a good day, but Katy had endured more bad days than good ones lately. In order to fight off the tears that threatened, he pinched the bridge of his nose, and said a little prayer for Katy. Since he’d started the center three years ago, he’d lost too many of his little heroes.
Fallon startled him when she turned into his side, snuggling against him. Without hesitation, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and embraced her in a tight arm-hug. She rested her cheek against his chest and draped her arm round his waist, giving him a squeeze.
Strange how a month ago he’d been living an entirely different life. Hadn’t even thought about his future unless it involved Hot Wired. He wanted a life with Fallon, but was afraid to hope for too much. Afraid he was on a one-way road slated for heartache regardless.
“Thank you,” she said in a soft voice.
He clasped her shoulder with his palm. “For what, darlin’?”
“Letting me come with you today. It was a privilege.”
He balked at the word ‘privilege’, but held his tongue. “You’re welcome to join me anytime.”
Fallon shifted, straddling his lap without any warning. He caught her hips as she cupped his neck with both of her hands.
“Those kids love you.”
Blowing off how much his little heroes meant to him would be like betraying them, so he wrangled his unease under control and admitted, “I love them. They give more to me than I could ever give to them.”
“And that, Jase Collins, is why I’m in—” Alarm scurried across her features and instead of finishing her sentence she shocked him by kissing him.
Confused as all hell, he didn’t refuse her embrace, but recognized her need for comfort. Determined to give her what she required, he wound his arm around her lower back, and crushed her breasts to his chest. Her nipples were hot and hard against him, teasing him, and he groaned into her mouth.
The fingers of his other hand curled into her hair and clasped her to him. Not sure how efficient she was at reading between the lines he put all his emotions into the kiss.
Please let her understand how much she means to me. How much I’ll be devastated if she never returns my feelings.
All his adult life he’d mocked those who fell in love with women. And for the first time since Sam and Fang’s romance, he understood why Fang had been willing to give up everything for Jase’s baby sister.
I feel the same fucking way about Fallon.
Fallon’s heart went wild in her chest when she walked into the nursery the next evening to kiss Faith goodnight. Jase cradled their little girl in his arms, rocking from side to side, as he sung the lyrics to one of Hot Wired’s older songs. Faith talked to him in the softest, sweetest voice. It was a special moment between them, and Faith’s fondness for him was evident in the way she cooed to him.
This sight, coupled with watching Jase with the kids at the pediatric cancer center yesterday, was so powerful Fallon labored to steady her breathing. The flutter in her belly refused to abate, and in that moment she knew she’d fallen in love with Jase Collins. It was probably the worst mistake of her life, but she was weary of trying to resist his magnetism.
“I didn’t know you could sing.” She hoped she sounded more serene than she felt.
“I’m no Fang.” His gaze swept across her attire, and she noted his as well. A slim-fit, indigo button-up, tucked into the waistband of his snug jeans, and a tie the same shade as his shirt.
Eye-candy just doesn’t do him justice.
She cleared her throat. “Can everyone in the band sing?”
“Keys thinks he’s pretty good, but if you like caterwauling, then, yeah, he can sing.”
Perplexed, she asked, “What’s caterwauling?”
“Southern lingo for he fucking sucks. I think the real definition is that it’s the sound of two cats mating or fighting or some shit.”
Ah…she grinned. Poor Keys sounding like that. “And what of Derr’s singing abilities?”
“Derr’s not so bad, so long as you don’t mind your hearing suffering damage.”
Chuckling, she approached him. “Hey, Momma’s girl.” Faith chattered back in her baby lingo, adding in a couple of different syllables to demonstrate her sincerity. “I saw you dancing with Daddy.” More baby talk and she waited until Faith wound down before she spoke again. “Yeah, I know it was fun, but Momma’s got to drag him away. Where is Helen?” Realizing she didn’t spy the nanny, she looked up at Jase. His expression had her heart racing again. “What?”
“Later.” He held Faith toward her. “Give Momma night-night kisses.”
As Fallon placed loud kisses to Faith’s cheek, she peered up at Jase. The look in his dark-blue eyes said so much and none of it she could discern. When she drew away, he kissed Faith in the same spot she had, and focused on Fallon’s eyes the entire time. Chills buzzed her flesh, and her nipples saluted him, coiling until they ached.
“Come on, baby-momma,” he said with a grin.
She followed him to the door, and the nanny waited in the hall. Ah…he’d wanted privacy for his daughter-father dancing. “Helen, I forgot to thank you for the books. I already read Creatura and loved it. Started on Fruit of Misfortune last night, and I can’t put it down.”
“You’re welcome. We should chat when you finish it. I sent the author, Nely, a FaceMe message telling her how much I loved the book and how much the ending made me want to beat her over the he
ad with my copy. She screenshot it and posted it on her wall saying ‘so much pressure’.” Helen giggled, and Fallon couldn’t help but join her. “She’s pretty cool and interacts with her fans.”
“How exciting!” Fallon thought it sweet the way the author networked with her readers, making them feel special. It told her Nely Cab was a down to earth woman who respected and valued her fans.
After saying goodnight to Helen, Jase laced his fingers through hers when she joined him. The moment he had her out of sight of their nanny, he put her against the wall and kissed the hell out of her.
“Whoa! What was that for?” she said when he let her up for air. Good thing she wore kissable lipstick or his lips would be as red as hers.
“I wanted to do that from the moment I saw you dressed like my wet dream.” He ran his fingertips along her bare shoulder. “I can’t decide if I should thank my sister or make her life hell for this.”
“This? My dress?”
He nodded. “Should I detail the dirty things it makes me think of?”
She snorted. “Jase, you don’t need help coming up with deviant ideas. It’s pretty standard for you.”
Fallon sidled from his grasp and took off down the hall, putting a little extra sway in her step. His gaze said more than his words, and he had her feeling sexy as sin.
When she’d picked out the red party dress, Sam had said from the get-go Jase would have a love-hate opinion of it. She’d thought that sounded silly, but she sure liked the reaction she received just now.
She glanced at him over her shoulder to catch him eyeing her ass.
“Christ, woman, you better be wearing panties.”
No idea what possessed her or what gave her the nerve, she stopped walking and caught him by his tie. “You want to inspect for yourself? Approve or disapprove of what might be underneath?”
His nostrils flared as he backed her against the wall once more. “Yeah.”
Lost in the Beat Page 20
