by Linda Byler
Lizzie really hated being behind that curtain. The big girls were so bossy, and there was no place to sit, so Lizzie had to stand until she was so tired of it she thought she’d faint. And if you pushed or shoved someone away so you could sit for a little while, you often got a grouchy look or sometimes you even got pinched.
All the pupils had done this quite often, practicing for the program. Everyone knew their parts well, Lizzie thought. She knew her poem perfectly, and half of the other children’s, as well. Lizzie guessed she must be pretty smart, because she could say almost everyone’s poem. And once, when she was reciting them to Mandy, she saw Mam raise her eyebrows to Dat, and Dat smiled and shook his head. Lizzie bet they had a fit how much she could say.
After Lizzie’s spanking, Emma felt bad and listened to her saying her poem over and over, until Lizzie knew it very thoroughly. Emma is nice, Lizzie thought after that—actually nicer than I am.
The pupils opened the program with a rousing rendition of a welcome song, to the tune of “Reuben and Rachel.” Lizzie loved to sing that song, and even if she was small and stood in the front row, she sang as loudly as she could. They also sang “Joy to the World” and other songs, before all filing back in perfect order to stand in their allotted space behind the curtain again.
Betty whispered very quietly to Lizzie. Lizzie didn’t understand her at first, so she said, “What?”
As quickly as possible, Lizzie felt a hard pinch on her upper arm. She looked up in embarassment, to find Lavina Lapp holding her forefinger to her mouth in a gesture meaning “Shhh!” Her eyebrows were drawn down really far, so Lizzie knew this was serious today, at the real Christmas program. She had better be really quiet.
One by one the children took turns reciting their poems. They all filed out to sing three more songs. One song was “Jingle Bells,” which was Lizzie’s favorite. She almost always had to giggle when they sang the chorus, and today was no exception. So she looked steadily at one snowflake and thought sad thoughts for a little while so she would not giggle.
After they all filed back behind the curtain, Lizzie knew it was her turn to say her poem. She was excited and wanted to say it nice and clear, because she knew she could.
She had a long poem for a little girl, but she was quite confident in her own ability. Her heart beat faster, but she stood straight and tall. She put her hands behind her back and started speaking loud and clear.
Suddenly, to her horror, she heard Teacher Sylvia say, “No, no,” and in the same moment she saw Mam shake her head back and forth.
She grew warm all over, and quickly raised her hand to her mouth. She was saying one of the upper grade boys’ poems!
Her eyes blinked rapidly as her mind adjusted to her own poem. She smiled a sheepish little smile, and started over. Some of the parents laughed, and a few looked like they felt sorry for Lizzie.
After she remembered her own poem, she recited it loud and clear, verse after verse. She didn’t stumble once. She felt very proud of herself for saying it, because it really was a long one.
After the “goodbye” song, Teacher Sylvia tapped her bell again and the program was over. The children tumbled out of the curtains while the parents clapped their hands in appreciation.
Lizzie was glad to find Dat and Mam. Dat smiled affectionately at Lizzie and said, “That’s what happens when you learn half of the school’s poems instead of sticking to your own.”
Lizzie supposed that was true, but she still never stopped saying the other children’s poems at Christmas.
chapter 14
A Visit from Doddy Millers
Mam had an extra sparkle in her eyes this morning, Lizzie could tell. She had opened a letter yesterday from her parents who lived in Ohio. She had exclaimed at one point, “Oh, good!” and went on reading the letter.
“What?” Emma had asked from her perch on the couch.
“Oh, Doddy Millers are coming in four days! I can hardly believe they’ll be staying for almost a week!”
Mam was so happy after that, she even cooked Dat’s favorite supper that evening—rivel soup. Lizzie just did not like rivel soup, because of the rivels, but Dat just loved it. Lizzie had watched Mam make rivels, with flour and eggs. It looked like a sticky mess, and when she put the whole batch in milk and added brown butter, Lizzie always thought it looked like lumps of paste she used at school.
Now this morning, Mam set a steaming bowl of oatmeal on the table. Turning, she got the dish of brown sugar and plopped it down. She was singing and her movements were faster than usual.
“There you go, Lizzie. Now eat or you’ll be late for school,” she said.
“Why can’t I stay at home today? I could help you clean up and get ready for Doddy Millers.” Lizzie poked her finger in her dish of oatmeal. She withdrew it again just as fast.
“Ouch—that’s hot!” she grimaced.
“Well, don’t stick your hand in there. It is hot. Here, let me put sugar on it.”
“I hate oatmeal,” Lizzie pouted.
“Why?” asked Mam.
“It’s bumpy, like rivel soup—that’s why,” said Lizzie.
“Lizzie, you should be thankful for oatmeal. You know what Mommy Miller used to make for all of us at home? Before I married Dat, there were ten of us children and she cooked cornmeal and we ate that with sugar and milk on it, just like oatmeal.”
“Ewww.” Lizzie wrinkled her nose. She tasted her oatmeal. It wasn’t sweet enough, so she added more brown sugar, tasted it again, and added another spoonful. Her oatmeal was turning darker in color, and when she tasted it again, it was too sweet. She could hardly eat it. She wished she hadn’t put so much sugar in it.
“This isn’t good, Mam,” Lizzie announced.
Mam came over and looked at her oatmeal. She tasted it, swallowed, and looked sternly at Lizzie.
“How much sugar did you put in there?”
“Not much,” said Lizzie.
“Well, I guess you’ll have to go to school without breakfast. Why are you being so difficult this morning?” Mam asked.
“My stomach hurts.” Lizzie drew her eyebrows in and rubbed her stomach.
“I doubt it, Lizzie. You just have the Doddy Miller fever, and want to stay here, afraid you’ll miss something. They’re not coming for four days yet, so you’ll have plenty of time to help me get ready.”
“Are they coming on the train?” Lizzie asked.
“Yes, Lizzie. Now get your coat. It’s time for Lavina to come.” Mam was very firm.
So Lizzie trudged off to school, wishing she could stay at home. It would be much more exciting to help get the house clean and bake good things than to go to school for four more days.
That whole day hardly anything went well. Sarah wouldn’t trade her popcorn, and Betty didn’t want to play Freeze Tag at recess. Plus, she was wearing another new dress that had lots of lines going straight across the fabric, and Lizzie thought it was really pretty. She wished her dress looked so new and fancy, and every time she looked at her own navy blue dress, she felt unhappy.
Then, at recess, she fell across a base, and her dress flew up above her knees. She was so humiliated and so terribly unhappy about everything, she went into the bathroom with her chin held high. After she was inside, she put the little hook through the ring to lock the door, sat down, and cried huge tears. After she wiped her eyes and came back out to the Freeze Tag game, Betty looked at her closely.
“What’s wrong,” she inquired bluntly.
“Nothing,” Lizzie sniffed.
“Were you crying?” she asked.
“No!” yelled Lizzie. “Go away!”
“Boy, you’re grouchy, Lizzie.” Betty looked hurt.
“I am not! Go away!”
So Betty went to play with Sarah, and Lizzie felt worse than ever.
On the way home that evening, Lavina Lapp told her she was fatter than Betty or Sarah. “You must like to eat, don’t you?” she smiled.
Lizzie didn’t answer b
ecause she didn’t know what to say. All she wanted to do was go home and lay her head on Mam’s shoulder and cry.
When she walked into the kitchen calling for Mam, there was a strange quietness. She couldn’t hear Mandy or Mam, and Emma was sound asleep on the couch.
Suddenly the bathroom door opened and a young girl walked out. “Oh, you must be Lizzie. I’m Rachel. Come here and I’ll tell you a happy surprise,” she said.
Lizzie liked her already. She had a really pretty smile, and she was so friendly and happy. Her hair was jet black and she had brown eyes that twinkled at Lizzie in the most delightful way. So Lizzie put her lunchbox carefully on the counter and walked shyly over to Rachel.
Rachel leaned forward and said, “You guess what!”
“What?” Lizzie had to smile, because Rachel was beaming so excitedly.
Rachel took Lizzie by the arms and squeezed gently. “Your Mam and Dat are at the hospital. And you have a tiny little baby brother. A boy!”
“What?” Lizzie just could not think of one thing to say. “A real one?”
Rachel laughed a lovely, husky laugh that Lizzie loved to listen to. She didn’t know what was the happiest thing to think about—a new baby brother or Rachel’s laugh.
So Lizzie just sat down and sighed. She clasped her hands on her lap and watched Rachel and sighed again. “Is he tiny?” she giggled.
“I don’t know, Lizzie. I haven’t seen him yet. Your Dat will soon be home, then he can tell us more about him,” she said, tucking the covers over Emma’s shoulder.
“What is his name? Is he cute?” Lizzie kept thinking questions about this new baby brother. “Do you think Mam will let me hold him or not? And what about Doddy Millers coming? Who will go to the train station to meet them? Do you think our baby brother will cry a lot?”
“Oh my, Lizzie.” Rachel’s husky laugh rang out again. “You really are a question box, aren’t you?”
Lizzie smiled up at Rachel, and was rewarded with a good sound hug. It was almost as good as eating shoofly pie and cocoa. Lizzie fell soundly in love with their new “maud” named Rachel.
· · · · ·
Lizzie fluffed up a pillow on the couch. She told Mandy to put away her toys, watching nervously as every car passed on the road below. Today Dat was bringing Mam and their new baby brother home, and tomorrow was the day Doddy Millers were arriving. Lizzie was in a state of feverish excitement.
Suddenly the kitchen door opened slowly, and there stood Mam! She looked so strange and so pale, that Lizzie felt shy. Mandy made a dash across the kitchen straight into Mam’s arms. Emma smiled shyly and said, “Hello, Mam,” from her pillow on the couch.
Lizzie was rooted to her chair, feeling so strange, because she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. So she just sat there and chewed on her lower lip.
Dat followed close behind Mam carrying a little blue bundle. His face was wreathed in smiles. Carefully he set down the diaper bag he was carrying and bent over the couch to Emma.
“Emma, look at your brother. His name is Jason, and he looks a lot like Lizzie.”
Emma whispered, “Jason?” She lifted the blue blanket and exclaimed softly, “Aww, he’s cute! Can I hold him, Dat?”
Dat smiled and lowered the little blue bundle into Emma’s lap while Emma stroked the little cheeks and touched his downy hair.
Lizzie slowly got up from her chair and carefully walked over to the couch. She peered under the flap of the soft, woolly blanket. She took a good long look at her new baby brother, and was suddenly overcome with horror. He was so ugly and so bright red, she could not imagine ever letting Mam take him to church. His eyes were closed, but there were so many deep wrinkles around his eyes. Lizzie could not imagine how he could ever see around all that skin. His nose was big and puffy and his mouth was much too big for his face.
She felt Mam come up behind her and put her arm around her shoulders. Lizzie leaned against Mam and tried hard to feel normal and smile—at least smile enough to be nice. But she wished so much her new baby brother wasn’t so ugly.
“Isn’t he sweet, Lizzie? You may hold him, too. Emma, may Lizzie hold Baby Jason now?” Mam asked.
“I–I don’t want to hold him. Emma may.” And much to her shame, Lizzie started to cry. Mandy dashed over, and peered anxiously into Lizzie’s face.
“Don’t cry, Lizzie.” She put her arm protectively around Lizzie.
“What’s wrong? Come, Lizzie.” Mam sat down on a soft chair and just held Lizzie till she finished crying. “Now tell me what’s wrong.”
But Lizzie never really did tell Mam the real reason she cried. She just told her that her head hurt, because it wasn’t nice to say Jason was ugly. But he really was.
· · · · ·
The next day Doddy Millers arrived. Dat hired a driver to go to the big city where the train station was located. Lizzie had to go to school, so she was not allowed to go along.
When she came home from school, she saw Doddy Miller as soon as she came into the kitchen. He was sitting at the table, eating a slice of shoofly pie and drinking coffee.
His hair and beard were snow white, and his eyes were very light blue. He had a long, crooked nose that had lots of red and purple veins on it. He wore a blue denim shirt and darker blue denim pants.
“Here she comes! Here comes my Lizzie!” He reached out and caught Lizzie, enveloping her in a bear hug.
“And how are you? Did you have a good day at school?” he asked.
“Yes! I had a good day, Doddy. Did you like your train ride? Did it go fast?” Lizzie asked.
“Oh my, yes, Lizzie. That train goes a-flying,” said Doddy.
Lizzie settled herself at his knee, anticipating a long conversation with Doddy Miller. He was one of Lizzie’s favorite people.
Mommy Miller joined them at the table, reaching out to take Lizzie’s hand. “Hello, Lizzie!” she said in her quiet voice. She was small featured, and her hair was snowy white, too. She had a soft, round stomach, and narrow shoulders. Because they lived in Ohio, their “ordnung,” or church rules, were different, so Mommy’s dress and covering were made differently than Mam’s or Lizzie’s.
Mommy Miller was soft-spoken and never had as much to say as Doddy. But today she was talkative, and Lizzie thought she was excited about Baby Jason, probably.
Mam sat on the couch with Emma, and beamed with pleasure. Everybody was so happy, and Lizzie was so glad to see her grandparents, she did a fancy little whirl on her way to the sink with Doddy’s empty shoofly dish. Mandy tried it, too, but fell flat on her back. Everyone laughed as she got up and tried again.
Emma was holding Baby Jason again. Lizzie peeped at him, considering his facial features quietly. Really, there might be a tiny bit of improvement. Lizzie was so relieved to notice that he wasn’t quite as bright red as the first time she saw him. She still didn’t like to hold him though—she just liked to sit beside Emma when she held him. It made Lizzie nervous to hold a baby. They were too soft and slippery, and Mam said you had to hold their head carefully. Lizzie was always afraid she had the wrong end up.
Doddy Miller was watching Lizzie carefully look at the new baby brother. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, because he could see Lizzie’s thoughts, the way her eyes looked concerned.
“Don’t you think he’s cute, Lizzie?” he asked.
“Well …” Lizzie hesitated.
“Now, c’mon—he looks a lot like you,” Doddy said.
“No, he doesn’t, Doddy. You know he doesn’t!” she burst out.
Doddy laughed a good, hearty laugh and slapped his knee.
Mommy Miller said, “Now, Abe.”
But Lizzie caught the twinkle in Doddy’s eye, and she couldn’t help but laugh with him. She knew, she just knew for certain, that Doddy didn’t think Baby Jason was very cute. She loved Doddy Miller truly with all her heart, because with him she did not have to pretend Baby Jason was cute. She knew he didn’t think so, either.
chapter 1
5
Rachel
While Doddy Millers stayed at the Glicks, the days were filled with happy moments. Mommy showed Emma how to embroider, and even gave her a little wooden ring called a hoop, that you pinched the fabric into.
On this fabric was a light blue outline of a bird and a birdhouse. Mommy helped Emma thread her needle with three strands of embroidery thread, and showed her how to take tiny little stitches that looked as if she was sewing backward, but she really wasn’t. Emma sat for hours, contentedly trying to do neat, tiny stitches like Mommy did.
Mommy gave Lizzie a little square metal frame that had prongs sticking up, which looked like teeth. Along with this red frame there was a plastic bag filled with loops of stretchable fabric. There was also a blue hook. That was to catch one end of a stretchable loop and hook it on one of the metal teeth on the frame. After you did a whole row of these loops, you went across the other way, weaving the loops up and down, up and down, through the loops that were already attached. After they were all woven through, it was a potholder for Mam to use when she got a cake out of the oven.
It was hard to get it right, and Lizzie chewed her lip, bit her tongue, and got a very stiff neck if she sat there too long. Doddy Miller helped her intertwine the ends of the loops together to finish it.
Mommy cooked cornmeal mush and they ate it with sugar and milk. Actually, Lizzie thought it tasted a lot like the cow feed in Uncle James’s stable. But when Mommy asked Lizzie if she liked it, she smiled and nodded her head politely. She figured if Doddy Miller could eat it, she could, too.
But too soon the day came when they had to leave. Lizzie felt sad; she always did when it was time for Doddys to leave. But Mam smiled bravely as she said her goodbyes, so Lizzie and Emma were brave, too. Dat looked at Mam so lovingly, that Lizzie thought as nice as Dat was, it must be alright for Mam.
And then Rachel came.
After Doddy Millers took the train home to Ohio, Rachel came back to Lizzie’s house. She was wearing a royal blue dress with a black apron, which made her hair shine almost blue-black. They were smoothed back to a satiny sheen. Her dark brown eyes twinkled at Lizzie as she set her small overnight suitcase on the table.
