That is, until I see Eddie.
Eddie runs to the merry-go-round as if the horses are alive, jumping up and down in line, waiting for the music to end and his turn to come. When it stops, my mother hands him a ticket and he races to a large blue stallion, yelling “Giddyap!” as he climbs on. One of the horse’s ears is broken, and the blue is so faded it’s almost gray, but Eddie holds on to the reigns as if he’s galloping along the prairie. I join my mother, who attempts a smile.
“It’s almost Disney World for him,” she says. “Sorry it’s not the same for you.”
“It’s okay,” I answer. “Some of the rides look fun.” And when I finally can pry Eddie off the horse—five rides later—we head for the roller coaster.
We try different rides all morning, then eat tacos under a tree for lunch. On the bumper cars, Eddie and I crash into several people, while Eddie makes loud police siren noises. The man at the controls tells us to be quiet, but I point to Eddie and say he can’t help it. (My mother hates it when I use Eddie’s handicap as an excuse to misbehave.)
My mother asks the park manager to stay with Eddie for a few minutes while she and I go on some rides together. Because we have to do so many special things for Eddie, she always tries to make sure we do things just for me sometimes. We go on the Water Slide, the Turbo Car, and Moonbeam Mountain. She screams a little bit on the first bump, then the two of us start screaming the whole time, like little kids. When we meet the manager and Eddie near the souvenir shop, Eddie is telling her that he’s on television. I’m sure she’s thinking, Yeah, right. Sure you are.
At the end of the day, Eddie won’t leave without going on the ducky ride. It’s a kiddie ride, with these stupid duck cars that slowly spin round and round in circles. Even a few hundred miles from home, I won’t be caught dead on it, so Eddie goes on it alone.
The park is closing and my mother and I sit on the bench near the ticket booth watching Eddie go around, waving each time he passes us. My mother looks at me and smiles kind of sadly. I know what she is thinking: that even though we are twins, I will outgrow the kiddie rides and the cartoon characters, but not Eddie. I think ahead, of Eddie and I older—maybe twenty or twenty-five—and picture him grown up, maybe even in a suit, still on this ride, waving and smiling in place, with the sunset bright behind him.
When the ride stops, I run to the woman at the controls and hand her two tickets. Eddie is so excited that I have decided to come on the ride with him that he jumps up and down in the seat. I squeeze next to him inside the duck and we ride round and round, waving to my mother on each turn. For now, I’m happy just to be in his orbit, spinning into our separate futures, however long the journey takes.
Well?
What are you waiting for?
Do you think I’m going to sit here forever and
spill my guts for your entertainment pleasure?
Log off!
Just kidding …
But maybe not …
As we say in television:
THE END
Epilogue
Trudy Walker is now a famous filmmaker living with her family in a lavish town house in Boston’s Back Bay. Her projects include a three-picture deal with A-list movie stars and a medical documentary entitled Eddie. Her computer journal, Tru Confessions, was called “the most innovative piece of journalism this year” by Columbia University. She, her friend Denise, and her brother, Eddie, frequently travel to Europe on her private jet, which is stocked with vintage films, candied apples, and ice cream. Her cable show has won three Ace Awards for best local programming, and Eddie’s recent exhibit at the Museum of Modern Art in New York, Technical Difficulties, was hailed as the most important cultural event of the season.
(It will all be tru, just wait. Hey, what are dreams for if you don’t believe in them … .)
GOFISH
QUESTIONS FOR THE AUTHOR
JANET TASHJIAN
What did you want to be when you grew up?
Students ask me this all the time and I wish I had a better answer. When I was young, I was too busy playing, reading, and studying to think about career goals. I envy people who knew what they wanted to be by age ten. I was not one of them.
When did you realize you wanted to be a writer?
My husband and I traveled around the world together, and when we got back to the States, we had to fill in several forms. One asked for ‘occupation’ and I put down ‘writer’ even though I’d never done anything more than dabble. But deep down, I always felt being a writer would be the greatest job in the world. It took me several years after that to make that dream a reality.
What’s your first childhood memory?
I remember cooking candies in a little pan on a toy stove I got for Christmas. I was maybe three. I’m not sure if I remember it or if I just saw the photograph so often that I think I do.
What’s your most embarrassing childhood memory?
I was singing and dancing in a school assembly with my first-grade class when my shoe fell off. I kept going without the shoe, hopping around the stage—the show must go on.
What was your worst subject in school?
I always did well in school, but for some reason I forgot all my math skills and now can barely multiply. I’d love to know where all my math skills went.
What was your first job?
I’ve had dozens of jobs since I was sixteen—working on assembly lines, tutoring, babysitting, washing dishes, waiting tables, delivering dental molds and telephone books, selling copy machines, working in a fabric store, painting houses—I could fill a whole page with how many jobs I’ve had.
How did you celebrate publishing your first book?
By inviting my tenth-grade English teacher to my first book signing. The photo of the two of us from that day sits on my writing desk.
Where do you write your books?
Usually in my office in the house. But because I often write in longhand, I end up writing everywhere—on the beach, in a coffee shop, wherever I am.
Where do you find inspiration for your writing?
Everywhere—there’s nothing more interesting or wacky than real life. A word in a book, a bit of conversation in an elevator, something I find in the street. I find dozens of ideas a day. Real life is amazing.
Which of your characters is most like you?
They all have pieces of me. I love words like Marty Frye; I can be a bit obsessive like Monica in Multiple Choice; I I have the same ambition and persistence as Trudy in Tru Confessions; the same striving for the funny as Becky in Fault Line. Larry [also from Fault Line] is also very much like me—getting carried away with new ideas while trying to stay focused. We’re both big believers in average people trying to change the world.
When you finish a book, who reads it first?
Usually my editor, Christy. Sometimes my husband, Doug. Her [Christy’s] feedback is much more helpful; he [Doug] always thinks what I write is great.
How do you usually feel once you’ve completed a manuscript? Are you ever sad when a book you are writing is over?
Relieved! I don’t really miss my characters; they’re always with me.
Are you a morning person or a night owl?
I like waking up early and getting right to work. I’m too fried by the end of the day to get anything substantial done.
What’s your idea of the best meal ever?
Something healthy and fresh with lots of friends sitting around talking. Definitely a chocolate dessert.
Which do you like better: cats or dogs?
I love dogs and always have one. I’m allergic to cats so I stay away from them. They don’t seem as much fun as dogs anyway.
What do you value most in your friends?
A sense of humor and dependability. All my friends are pretty funny.
Where do you go for peace and quiet?
Like Larry [from Fault Line], I head for the woods. I’m there all the time. I love the beach, too.
What makes you
laugh out loud?
My son. He’s by far the funniest person I know.
What’s your favorite song?
Anything by Todd Rundgren, Joni Mitchell, Richard Thompson, or Elvis Costello. Geniuses, all of them. I also love U2’s “Bad.” I always have a list of songs in mind for every book I write. I wish each book could come with a CD. Music is a very important part of the writing process for me.
Who is your favorite fictional character?
As if I could choose just one!
What are you most afraid of?
I worry about all the normal mom things like war, drunk drivers, and strange illnesses with no cures. I’m also afraid our culture is veering away from basic things like nature. I worry about the implications down the road.
What time of the year do you like best?
The summer, absolutely. I hate the cold.
What is your favorite TV show?
I mostly watch British television. Their comedies are outrageous and their dramas are riveting. I also like anything with Ricky Gervais.
If you were stranded on a desert island, who would you want for company?
My family!
If you could travel in time, where would you go? To the future, to see how badly we’ve messed things up.
What’s the best advice you have ever received about writing?
To do it as a daily practice, like running or meditation.
How do you react when you receive criticism?
My sales background and MFA workshops left me with a very tough skin. If the feedback makes the book better, bring it on.
What do you want readers to remember about your books?
I want them to remember the characters as if they were old friends.
What would you do if you ever stopped writing?
Try to live my life without finding stories everywhere. For a job, I’d be doing some kind of design—anything from renovating houses to creating fabric.
What do you like best about yourself?
I am not afraid of work.
What is your worst habit?
I hate to exercise.
What do you consider to be your greatest accomplishment?
How great my son is.
What do you wish you could do better?
Write a perfect first draft.
What would your readers be most surprised to learn about you?
I litter McDonald’s trash out my car window while I drive—KIDDING!
What is your favorite noise or sound?
My son laughing really hard.
Did you keep a journal like Trudy when you were growing up? Do you write in one now?
I’m so busy writing books, the last thing I want to do in my spare time is write in a journal.
What is your idea of fun?
Walking through New York City at night.
Is there anything you’d like to confess?
I love dark chocolate.
What would your friends say if we asked them about you?
She acts like a fifteen-year-old boy.
What’s on your list of things to do right now?
Update my Web site.
What are some things you think about when you’re bored?
Story ideas.
How do you spend a rainy day?
Watching comedy DVDs with my son.
Can you share a little-known fact about yourself?
I love to make collages.
TRU CONFESSIONS. Copyright © 1997 by Janet Tashjian. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. For information, address Square Fish, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.
An Imprint of Holtzbrinck Publishers
Square Fish and the Square Fish logo are trademarks of Holtzbrinck Publishers, LLC and are used by Henry Holt and Company under license from Holtzbrinck Publishers, LLC.
eISBN 9781466822917
First eBook Edition : May 2012
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Tashjian, Janet.
Tru confessions / Janet Tashjian.
p. cm.
Summary: Computer-literate, twelve-year-old Tru keeps an electronic diary where she documents her desire to cure her handicapped twin brother and her plan to create a television show.
[1. Diaries—Fiction. 2. Physically handicapped—Fiction.
3. Mentally handicapped—Fiction. 4. Twins—Fiction.
5. Brothers and sisters—Fiction. 6. Computers—Fiction.]
I. Title.
PZ7.T211135Tr 1997 [Fic]—dc21 97-16098
ISBN-13: 978-0-312-37273-6 / ISBN-10: 0-312-37273-6
Originally published in the United States by Henry Holt and Company
Designed by Meredith Baldwin
First Square Fish Edition: October 2007
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Tru Confessions Page 8
