by A C Wilds
“I love you, Logan. Never again will you be without a family for as long as I breathe. We will have Christmas and birthdays and any other holidays that you want. The rest of your life will be filled with all the love the guys and I have to give. You are our brother.”
He grips me so tight that I know I’ll have bruises later on. I feel his body start to shake and tears spill onto my shirt. I bring us down to the floor in between the two horses and I let him cry. I let him get all the years of torture and hurt out. I want us to start anew.
Grey walks in a little while later. I’m still holding Logan, but he’s stopped the tears. His quiet breathing has told me he’s asleep. Grey’s wings are tucked away. He’s dressed in a white shirt and tan trousers. He looks amazing as ever. He takes a seat next to us without a word and pulls both of us into him. He kisses the top of my head and Logan shifts closer to both of us.
“I love you,” I whisper into his mouth as I lift my head up to meet his.
“I love you more. Thank you for always caring for Logan. We’re going to finally be able to give him a good life,” he says kissing me softly. I feel everything through the bond and my heart bursts with joy. He’s right we are going to have a good life.
Epilogue
Azra
10 years later
“I said get down from there!” I yell, running after Luca. He’s gotten into so much trouble lately. At five years old, he doesn’t understand the word no.
“Momma, I want to fly like Daddy Greyson. Why can’t I?” he asks, giving me his pouty face. I bend down to look him in the eye. It’s only fair that I tell him the truth.
“Because you don’t have wings. We don’t know if you’ll get them and until we do, you can’t jump off of the paddock fence. You’ll get hurt,” I plead, kissing his forehead. He rolls his eyes at me, but kisses my cheek and runs out toward pasture, no doubt going to find Reid, Red and Ash’s youngest. They are the best of friends and get into more trouble than they should.
“You think he’ll get wings like Laia?” Grey asks, coming up behind me. He slips his arms around me, and places a hand on my belly.
“I don’t know. She was six when we found out, but I have a feeling that Luca is Cass’s. I think he’ll start to show his air element soon. He just feels the same as Cass does,” I say, trying to make sense of it all.
I’m on my fourth pregnancy and the first three times I’ve known whose baby it was. I haven’t said much about it because we are all raising our children, but now that we are seeing their magic show up, I think I might have to have a talk with the guys for proper training.
“How do you feel? Baby moving ok?” he asks, pulling me tighter to him and snuggling into my neck. I lean back and give him better access. These hormones have me going crazy. I can’t get enough of them.
“I’m fine. She’s all over the place. I think that she might have some fire magic about her. She’s restless and will come early. Izzy says she sees this to be an easy delivery. I hope so, because after Leo, I didn’t think I’d ever want to have any more kids.”
“We’ll be there through it all. Don’t worry about anything. Red will come and take care of the kids and we’ll soon have another joy in our life. Part of me never thought I could raise Logan, and now I’m a father to three children and a sweet girl on the way. You’ve made me the happiest I’ve ever been, and I was a football star.”
I turn around and give him a big smile before I kiss his mouth. He’s my anchor. The person to always remind me where I came from. After I destroyed the portals, I didn’t want to think about home, but sometimes, with Grey, it’s bittersweet to reminisce.
“Hey, you two. Dinner is ready. Where is Luca?” Gunn says, approaching us from the house.
“He went off to find Reid. He’s mad I won’t let him try to fly,” I say stepping into his arms and giving him a quick hug before I follow him into the kitchen.
“He’s going to be disappointed when he finds out that Laia is the only one who is going to have wings,” Gunn says, cryptically. He sometimes can feel the truth of things.
“How do you know, assassin?” Grey says, coming to walk on the opposite side. Assassin is no longer a term of disgust. It’s a pet name we’ve adapted over the years. Something to remind us that the things people call us isn’t who we truly are.
“His air element is strong. Cassiel is going to have to start working with him. That boy’s tantrums are about to be brought to a whole other level.”
“Mama, mama…. ” I little voice sounds from the door. Leo has both of his hands on the screen, trying to lick it to come outside.
“Jesus, Leo, don’t lick the dirty screen,” I say, breaking from the guys and up the steps to the back door. Leo smiles at me, and gives me grabby hands to pick him up. Reaching down, I throw him up in the air before I kiss his cheek and put him firmly on my hip. The little princess inside of me doesn’t like her brother on top of her, so she gives a little kick, which makes me chuckle.
“It’s getting cold,” Logan yells from inside the dining room. He’s grown into a handsome young man. He’s tall and strong like his brother, with a build like a football player. The kids adore him, but I know it will be time for him to move on soon, but I can’t think of a life without him in it.
Gunn takes Leo from me, and places him in his baby chair. Everyone else takes their seats at the table. Shax and Cass give me a smile of love and I respond with an air kiss. Shax has become somewhat of a connoisseur in the kitchen. He takes great pride in trying to recreate the meals we used to eat at the palace.
“Momma, where is Luca?” Laia asks, popping her wings back in to take her seat. She’s beautiful, with long blond hair and bright blue eyes. She has Grey’s nose and my lips. The oldest of my three. She was born around nine months after the battle. We had no clue that I was pregnant or about to be at that time. She was our first baby. The one we struggled with the most. She was colic and always needed to be held. I’ll tell you, I thanked the gods every day for four mates when we went through that stage.
“He’s gone off to Red’s. You really should be more mindful about what you say to him. He’s very sensitive to the fact that you have your magic and wings and he doesn’t. It’s not nice to rub it in his face,” I say, looking at her with my best mom face.
“He was being mean to me earlier and so I said he’d never get his own. I’m sorry, but he’s really annoying,” she confesses. I hide my smile behind my napkin because she sounds exactly like Grey.
“What?” he mouths, and I shake my head. He knows exactly what.
“Have you thought more about the council meeting?” Cass says, bringing up the one thing that makes me rather do laundry than discuss.
“You’re going to ruin the meal,” I grumble.
“You can’t ignore this any more, Az. It’s time we made peace with what happened. It’s been ten years and you still haven’t given yourself closure,” Shax says, pleading me with his eyes to do this last thing. This last piece that I can’t bring myself to do.
I grab a roll place it in my pocket of my dress and my glass of water and get up from the table. I walk out the back door, and right into the stables. The one place where I can feel like me. I can let go and remember all of the things I keep in. Our horses huff when I come in. Jezebel sticks her head out of her stall. I walk over, and unlatch the door, sitting down on a hay bail I store in there for such occasions. Jez is my guard unicorn. She won’t let anyone near me when I’m upset, especially now that I’m pregnant.
Bending her head down, she places her nose on my swollen belly. Her horn is tucked neatly away, and if you were just to look at her she’d seem like a normal horse.
She huffs warm air over me, and I can feel the little one move toward her. I pet her nose and forehead. I lean back on the stall wall and think about what it would mean to go back. I’m going to have to face all of the Fae that I hurt. All of the families of the Fae that I didn’t save. I’m going to have to face Noli’s death. I
can’t do it.
“Az,” Gunn says, from outside the stall. He knows better than to come in here when Jez is in protection mode.
She goes tense in front of me and whips her head in his direction. They have been together for centuries, but she has claimed me as her other half. This is a very sensitive subject for him.
“It’s okay, girl. He’s only here to talk,” I say scratching her neck and making room for Gunner to sit by me.
“We need to make a decision about the council. They want you back for the ten year anniversary. It’s important to them and to the rest of Faerie for you to be there. You changed it all. You gave us this life. Let them celebrate you.”
“I can’t face them. I can’t look upon them and think I did something good when all those Fae were killed, when Noli was killed. Gunn, it will shred me.”
“It won’t and you know it. You are stronger than that. You are my mate, mother of my children, and the Changer of fate. You are the reason we are here. Why we can be happy. Let them have their closure too. It’s only fair.”
“Wait, what do they need closure for? I’ve given everything to them. I’ve given them Noli.”
“No, you didn’t give them Noli. Noli gave herself. She was the sacrifice that Izel told you about. Don’t defile her memory because you’re being selfish.”
These are hard words to hear, but they’re the right ones. I lean my head on his shoulder and I think what it would be like to see all those people again. Izzy and her mates have come to the farm and visited, but the rest of the Fae we had contact with for all those months I haven’t seen in ten years.
“When do we leave?” I ask, looking into his eyes. They are so green, like the moss in a damp forest in the height of summer. His scent of dirt and pine wraps around me, and I can’t help but lean in to get closer to him. He’s always been my truth. The way to see things when no one else can show me.
“Tomorrow. We’ll take the kids and Logan with us. They need to see all their mother has done. All the good you created for us.”
I nod my head and wrap my arms around his middle. He brings me more into his chest and holds me. Jez stands over us, guarding our cuddle, making sure nothing disturbs us.
The manor isn’t the way we left it. Solaris is now a beautiful bustling city. It looks like something out of a movie. The stores and merchants all have the highest quality items. There are people walking all over, smiles on their faces. Children running around, laughing and playing. Everyone is healthy and alive.
The tears stream down from my face as we get closer to the manor. There is so much life here. The wounds of the battle have healed and what’s left is something beyond my wildest dreams.
Shax helps me down from the carriage and we stand in the open courtyard. Logan is holding Leo, and Luca and Laia are standing with the guys at my backs. The guards all stop what they are doing and form a line in front of us. For a moment, I’m confused, but then they start to salute me. All of them, in reverence to the changes I’ve made to make this all possible.
One guard steps up and bows before me. “I’m Seker. I was only a child when the Great Battle occurred, but as Captain of the Guard now, I’d like to be the first to declare my gratitude to the Changer. You changed the life of a slave in the Light, my life. Thank you for all you’ve done, all your sacrifices.”
The tears that stained my cheeks flood out of me now. I do the only thing that I can think of. I walk up to this tall Captain and bring him down into a mom hug. I squeeze him and send up a prayer to the universe that she will always protect him.
Wiping my face as I pull away I look at his face. Tears form in his eyes and he lets me see what this truly means to him.
“Azra!” Izzy calls from the front of the manor. She walks over to us with Acalon, Tenoch, and Zolin in tow. Tenoch is holding a small baby in his hands. They started their family late. It’s been hard for Izzy. She was tasked with giving this realm some order. She created the council. A place where all the different types of Fae can be represented. She divided it into four sections and now they are separated not by race, but by season. Who knew Fae classified themselves according to temperature.
“Izzy! So good to see you,” I say colliding with her in a hug. She looks good, her pink hair blowing in the breeze and her strong grey eyes, relaxed and ready to take on anything. Things are easier now for everyone that there is peace.
Cass comes up behind me and gives her a hug. They made peace with being siblings long ago. Cass cherishes the time they’ve had together and is grateful they have each other.
“Hello, Izel, how are you? The baby?” he asks, pulling her in for a hug.
“Everyone is good. Tired, but good. Please come inside, I have lunch ready and we can catch up,” she says, but before she can turn away a blur of movement hits her in the leg. Luca grabs her around the waist and squeezes. He’s always had a soft spot for her. I think it’s because their magics call to each other.
“I missed you, Aunt Iz. You said you’d come and visit again, but it’s been so long. Like the longest time ever!” He exclaims, pulling back and looking at her in the face. She bends down and kisses the top of his head before pulling him in again.
“I know, Luc, it’s just the baby came before I could come back. Do you want to meet your cousin?” She asks, still with her arms wrapped around him.
“Ugh, another baby. There are so many babies. Don’t you guys have anything else to do? Like fighting or flying. I want to do both of those things, not hang out with babies. They poop on themselves, you know. It’s gross.”
The courtyard erupts in a quiet laughter as we make our way through the manor doors. I stop at Tenoch and look down at my nephew for the first time. He’s beautiful, with pink curly hair and light green eyes. He looks like a perfect blend of Izzy and Acalon. His power rubs off on me and I can feel his lightning magic brush against mine. I lean in to give him a kiss and whisper a blessing in his ear.
“May the gods shine down upon you in your darkest days and may the moon guide you home.” I give him a small kiss on his forehead and look up into Tenoch’s face. He’s smiling like the proud father he is. “You did good,” I say returning his smile.
Walking into the manor for the first time in ten years brings a shiver down my spine. Everything looks the same, just organized differently. The door to the operations room is open, but I step through into the kitchen instead. I’m not ready to go in there.
There is food spread throughout and an extra table put in place for everyone to eat. The kids come running in grabbing plates and pulling food from the trays. Cass takes Leo from Logan and puts him in a baby chair that Izzy must have thought to get.
My thoughts are all about food and drink right now. I pile my plate up with enough food to feed five people. Sitting down at the table, I look around me and thank the gods for this blessing. We survived and were able to make healthy and happy babies. There is nothing better than this.
Lunch goes by quickly and we retire to our old rooms. The kids get to sleep in a nursery that Izzy has on the third floor of the manor. She has a full-time Fae babysitter, vetted and dedicated to our family, which gives us a little break when we are here, although I’ll be up there five times a day to nurse Leo.
“I’m exhausted. I think I’m going to nap,” I say, laying down into the large comfy bed. There are so many memories here, it’s starting to get a bit overwhelming.
“You remember that one time Cass and I had you in this bed for the first time?” Shax asks, with a bit of fire in his eyes.
“Yes, I remember. I also remember it gave me flaming wings. I don’t need to have a flaming anything when I’m pregnant,” I say, pulling the covers over me. The bed dips and there is a warm body pressed against me. Grey wraps his arms around me and nuzzles my neck.
“Go to sleep, I’ll protect you from these horn-balls,” he whispers in my ear. I try to hide my laughter in the pillow, but it doesn’t work.
My nap wakes me up just before the me
eting. I take a quick detour to the nursery to see the kids and nurse Leo. The nanny, Alana is a beautiful earth Fae. Her skin is tinted green and her hair falls in long waves down her back. She has the kids laughing and playing all these fun games she created just for them. She even has toys and games for Leo. It brings a smile to my face to see the children happy.
“Thank you for watching the children. They seem to be having a lot of fun,” I say, extending my hand out to her. She grabs it with both hands and pulls me further to her. Her eyes are clouded with unwashed tears and I wonder why she’s so emotional.
“The pleasure is all mine. Anything for you, Changer, I’d do anything. My family and I were servants in the Dark. My sister was burned alive right after the dragon attack. We’re forever grateful for everything you sacrificed to free us,” she says. The tears start to fall and I pull her in for a hug.
“I’m glad you were able to get out and I’m so very sorry about your sister.”
She nods her head and breaks from me. The children call her back to their games and I leave the nursery. Gunner is waiting in the hall for me. He looks so handsome in his brown trousers and white button down shirt. He has on some of his earth charms and his tattoos peak though the collar. The sleeves are rolled up to his forearm and I run my hand over his arm and hook it close to me.
“The kids okay?” He asks, watching my face closely. A twinge of pain comes over me and I wince. Placing my hand on my stomach I attempt to rub out the knot. He gives me a concerned look, but I wave it off.
“The kids are fine, Alana has made games for them. She’s an excellent earth Fae. And don’t give me that look. She kicked me in the wrong spot is all.”
“We are at the end of the pregnancy, you need to tell me if you feel pain or discomfort. Do you want me to examine you?” He asks, stopping me in my tracks.
Gunner has become a healer for our town. He takes care of everything from the common cold to child birth. Grey and I have given him some advice on modern medicine and he’s been able to recreate some of the drugs using his herbs. The town and my family are very lucky to have him.
