by Pamela Yaye
“Now you’re talking!” Niobie sighed wistfully “I hope I have a relationship like you guys’ one day. You two were made for each other. You were as close as Bonnie and Clyde, but without all the guns. It’s too bad things didn’t work out, huh?”
Her words hung in the air, prompting him to say, “Yasmin is an incredible woman and I was damn lucky to have her.”
“Then why did you let her go?”
The question echoed in his mind, teasing him, taunting him, mocking him. Pride had been the downfall of many men and he was no exception. Instead of listening to his doctor and the woman he loved, he had set out to prove them wrong. He was a fighter, a warrior, a champion. He would fight through his injury and come out on top, victorious, right? He’d have it all. Money, fame, stardom. And once he was the WBC champion, he’d get Yasmin back.
“What’s her schedule like tomorrow? Maybe I’ll stop by with lunch or—”
The phone rang, interrupting him. “Hold that thought,” Niobie said, reaching for the receiver and putting it to her ear. “A Better Way Counseling Services. Niobie Slade speaking. How may I be of assistance?” A pause, then the formality in her voice fell away. “Hey, boss. Yeah, everything’s fine.” Laughing, she glanced up at Rashawn. “I was just talking about you. You’ll never guess who stopped by.”
Rashawn waved his hands, hoping Niobie would conceal his identity. “Don’t tell her I’m here,” he mouthed, stepping away from the desk.
Niobie cupped a hand over the phone. “Stop trippin’, Rashawn. You know you want to talk to her, or you wouldn’t have driven all the way over here. Go in her office and I’ll transfer the call there.”
“I gotta go.”
“Not before you talk to her.” Niobie motioned with her head to her boss’s office. “Now hurry up before I tell her you’re stalling.”
Shaking his head, he pushed open the door and went inside. A flower arrangement sat on her desk, perfuming the air and arousing his curiosity. Who were the flowers from? Pushing aside the thought, Rashawn picked up the phone. “Hey, Yasmin. What’s up?”
“Rashawn?”
His mood improved as soon as he heard her voice. “Yeah, it’s me.”
“What are you doing at my office?”
“I was in the neighborhood and I thought I’d stop by to say hello.” The explanation sounded cornier every time he said it, but it was all he had. Sitting down on the edge of her desk, he asked, “How’ve you been?”
“I’m good. And you?”
When did talking to him make her sound this uncomfortable? Why couldn’t they laugh and joke and flirt like they used to? He hated the tension crackling over the line. It reminded him that they were no longer lovers, no longer friends. Gone were the days when they laughed for no reason, read the other’s mind and finished each other’s sentences. “I’m straight, hangin’ in there.”
Silence came.
“How is training going? Are you ready for the fight?”
“I’ve got this. That belt is mine.”
“You sound pretty confident.”
“Have you ever known me to be anything but?”
Yasmin laughed. “It’s good to see you haven’t lost your sense of humor.”
“I’ve been thinking about you.”
“Same here,” she confessed, her voice a whisper.
His heart soared but doubt tempered his joy. Did she mean it? Or was she just toying with his feelings? Rashawn struck down the thought. Of course she meant it. Playing games was beneath her. And Yasmin didn’t say what she didn’t mean.
“Do you have plans tonight?”
His eyes widened. Did he hear right? “Tonight?” he repeated, wishing he didn’t sound so eager. Calming his nerves, he wiped the enthusiasm from his voice and said, “No plans. What are you up to?”
“I was hoping we could talk.” She added, “That is, if you’re not too busy.”
“I’m never too busy for you, Doc. You should know that by now.” Rashawn wanted to say more, but stopped before he embarrassed himself. He treasured her, loved her, needed her like air. And just the thought of seeing her made his heart quicken with desire. “Where do you want to meet?” he asked anxiously.
“You could come here for dinner. I just turned off the linguine and I have some of that Italian bread you like so much.”
After a brief pause, he decided to take Yasmin up on her offer. Standing, he pulled his car keys from his pocket. “Give me an hour,” he said, before she could change her mind. Then, he hung up the phone and strode out of her office.
Chapter 26
Yasmin exhaled. For the last half hour, she’d been peering out the living-room window, hoping to catch a glimpse of Rashawn’s late-model Mustang. To occupy her time, she’d turned on the television and watched a documentary on A&E. Entering a world of espionage had taken her mind off Rashawn, but now that he was on the other side of the door, her fear was back with a vengeance.
Her heart was muddled with apprehension, despair and hope, but she refused to buckle under the pressure. She could do this. No, she had to do this. Chasing away her anxiety and embracing inner peace, she opened the front door.
“Good God,” she sharply drew in her breath. They had dated for eight months; she knew him intimately, deeply, but that didn’t stop her from practically drooling. He looked just as handsome in a white ribbed shirt and jeans as he did in a designer suit. His cornrows were neatly braided, his diamond twinkled and his smile almost knocked her over.
Yasmin had never swooned over a man, but she felt light-headed and her vision was hazy. It had nothing to do with the baby growing inside her and everything to do with Rashawn Bishop. There was something just so darn sexy about him. And as she watched him exit his car, images of the last time they had made love came to mind. The music, the wine, the crescent moon showering their naked bodies with light. Was that the night they had conceived? Or the following morning when he had surprised her in the shower? Shelving her thoughts, she raised a hand in greeting. “Hi.”
Rashawn stepped inside, his eyes wandering past her face, down her chest and over her hips. “You’re lookin’ as fine as ever.”
“Thanks, so do you.” Self-conscious about her stomach, she had selected a loose shirt and slim pants. Only ten days had passed since she had learned of the baby, but Yasmin felt different. She didn’t know what was happening in her head and her heart, but she felt softer, wiser, more focused. Like life finally had meaning. It would be weeks before she started showing and months until she felt the baby move, but she knew instinctively that this was a defining moment in her life. Earning her doctorate had given her a great sense of accomplishment, but it paled in comparison to being pregnant. She had never known joy like this and it was only the beginning.
“Can I get you something to drink?” she asked, closing the door and turning the lock. “Water? Orange juice? A cold beer, maybe?”
“No, thanks. I’m straight.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. But I’ll let you know if I need anything.”
Yasmin licked her lips. The expression on his face made her heart flutter. He was flirting with her, teasing her, just like that afternoon he’d showed up at her office posing as a client. “Why don’t we go in the kitchen?”
“Or, we could stay here.”
Her heart skipped a beat. Why was he staring at her like that?
“This is nice. Me and you together, like old times.” Never shy about his feelings, he confessed, “I’m glad you invited me over. Like I said on the phone, I’ve been thinking a lot about you.”
She couldn’t hold back her smile.
“Do you know what I’ve been thinking?”
Yasmin gulped. When had he shortened the distance between them? “No, what?”
“That I was a fool to let you go.”
“Really?” she asked, hopeful. Yasmin had imagined those words coming out of his mouth, had dreamed it, prayed it and hoped beyond hope he would come back to
her.
He folded his hands around her. “I’m for real, Doc. Who else is going to put up with my moods, rub me down when I’m sore and read me dirty stories in bed?” he joked.
“And don’t forget run out in the middle of the night to get you aspirin,” Yasmin added. She breathed him in, his scent, his voice, his touch.
“I haven’t been the same since you left.” His breath caressed her face. “I miss being with you, miss being around you, inside of you…”
Desire seized her mouth, leaving her mute. Her eyes zoomed in on his lips. She recalled the thrill of their lovemaking. The soft pleading of his kiss, the gentle prodding of his tongue, the urgent caress of his hands. Swallowing, she pushed past her lustful thoughts and said, “It’s been hard for me, too.”
“I need you,” he whispered. Just the thought of her legs around his waist caused him to stifle a moan. Rashawn wanted her in the worst way. Wanted to rip off her clothes and worship her with his lips. Love her like she had never been loved before. He wanted to brand her with his mouth and cement them together with his hands. “I can’t take it anymore. I want you, Doc.”
“Well, I’d like a diamond ring but we can’t all get what we want, right?”
The light in his eyes dimmed. “Come on. Don’t make me beg.”
“I want you, too, but—”
“But what?” he asked, trailing a finger along her arm. “We’re good together, Doc. You and I both know the sex is off the charts.”
“Is that what this is about? Sex?”
“No, but I’m hungry for you. Have been since the day you left.”
Yasmin had never wanted Rashawn as much as she wanted him now. She didn’t know if it was the tenderness in his eyes, the sweetness of his touch or the knowledge that she was carrying his child.
“Do you forgive me for being such an ass?”
“That depends on what you’re going to do to make it up to me,” she teased, enjoying their sexy banter. “You know I’m a sucker for—”
Tired of talking, he kissed her. Pressing her against the door, he cradled her face in his palms. His hands were relentless, his lips punishing, his words mesmerizing. “Everything about being with you just feels right.”
“It does?”
He nipped her earlobe. “You’re my princess, my Nubian queen, my soul mate.”
“Rashawn, you’ve given me hope,” she confessed, holding his gaze and stroking the back of his head. “I didn’t think I’d ever find love again…then I met you and—”
The rest of her sentence was stolen by his kiss.
Lifting her in the air, he grabbed a handful of her braids and kissed her arched neck. He desired her in ways he couldn’t explain and would be hard-pressed to say what he loved most about her. “You’re gorgeous, Doc.”
Inclining her head to the right, she welcomed his tongue into her mouth and his hands inside her blouse. Yasmin pushed his shirt up off his shoulders and dropped it on the floor. She caressed his neck, his shoulders, his nipples. Kissing him, she slipped her arms around his waist. Being apart had made her more appreciative of what they had. How many women could say they had the love, support and understanding of the men in their lives? Most of her female clients told painful stories of betrayal, neglect and abuse. Having Rashawn in her life was living proof that she had been given a second chance at love. He was her soul mate, sent to heal her broken heart. And as he swept her into his arms, Yasmin felt complete for the first time in her life.
“I’m pregnant.”
Rashawn chuckled. “I know I’m good, Doc, but I’m not that good,” he teased, the soft light of the beside lamp illuminating his smirk. Dropping a kiss on her bare shoulder, he swung his feet out in front of him. “I’m starving. I could really use a snack. Want something from the—”
“Rashawn, I’m not joking. I’m serious. I’m pregnant.”
His grin dissolved. “You’re bullshitting me, right?”
“No, I’m not.”
The expression on his face changed from amusement to shock. “I—I thought you couldn’t have kids,” he said, his tone thick with accusation. “That’s what you told me.”
“That’s what I thought.” Her words gushed out of her mouth like water from a dam. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. If I had known I could get pregnant, I would have been more careful.”
“Are you sure? Those home pregnancy tests can be wrong. Maybe it was a false positive or something.”
Yasmin told him about her appointment with Dr. Fitz-Simmons. “I insisted the tests be repeated, but after she examined me there was no point.”
His eyes passed over her face, trying to make sense of her words. “B-But you look the same. Just how pregnant are you?”
“Almost three months. I know you’re surprised. I was too, but—”
“I bet you were.” Shaking his head, he mumbled, “I could be the poster boy for safe sex. What happened?”
She pleaded her case. “I didn’t know I could get pregnant. I swear. I guess the condom broke.”
“Shit!” He ran a hand over his head, his gaze darting aimlessly around the room. “This couldn’t have happened at a worse time.”
Yasmin flinched. Is that how he felt? Nothing was more important than winning his match, not even the news that she was carrying his child? Instead of labeling him an insensitive jerk, she took a moment to collect her thoughts. “I know this is going to take some getting used to, but what’s done is done. We’re going to have a baby and the sooner you get on board the better.”
“Get on board? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“We have some important decisions to make.”
“About what?” His mouth a hard, firm line he swiped his jeans off the floor and yanked them on. “I can’t deal with this now. I can’t let anything sidetrack me from beating Garcia. The match is in two weeks, did you forget?” He stuffed his feet into his sneakers. “How the hell am I supposed to win with all these distractions?”
She watched him, her mouth agape. The darkness of the night concealed the tears in her eyes. “Is that what I am to you? A distraction? Is that why you came over tonight?” Clutching a pillow to her chest, she swallowed the other questions too painful to ask. “Inviting you over here was a big mistake.”
“You’re right. It was.”
His shoulders were squared away like he was plotting his escape. “This is messed up. I’ve worked hard to keep my reputation clean and now…now I’m going to be another statistic. Another black man making babies out of wedlock. What a trip!”
His words cut her to the bone, but Yasmin didn’t crumble, she fought back. “Don’t put this on me, Rashawn. I didn’t get pregnant by myself. We are both equally responsible for what happened.”
“I’m not blaming you. I just don’t understand how you couldn’t know.”
“All I know is what the endocrinologist told me. I’m just as surprised by all this as you are, but I’m not going to cry about it for the next six months. I’m going to deal with it and move on. I suggest you do the same.”
“Do you expect me to be happy?” he asked, the ferocity of his tone intensifying her pain. “I’m not going to pretend to be excited about this, because I’m not. Too many of our kids are growing up without fathers. I told you what it was like without my pops. He’d come over, spend the night with my mom, then split. Life was damn hard and I wouldn’t want that for my son.”
Yasmin slipped out of bed. Covering herself with her robe, she went to him. “It doesn’t have to be that way, Rashawn. We could make a great life for our child.”
“What are you saying?”
“I was shocked when I found out about the baby, too, but now I feel incredibly blessed. I’m going to be a mom and I wouldn’t trade that for the world.” She took his hands and put them around her, snuggling into his chest. “We can do this, together,” she said, emphasizing each word. “We can raise our child in a loving, two-parent home.”
His hands dropped from
her waist. “You don’t want to get married, do you?”
Yasmin’s eyes hardened. He was asking because he thought it was the right thing to do, not because he wanted to. An hour ago, they had been in bed, making love, and now they were acting like strangers. “No, of course not,” she lied, burying her childhood dreams of having a husband and child. “I’m fully capable of taking care of myself and the baby. I don’t need your help.”
He dipped his chin and smoothed a hand over the back of his neck. “I can’t deal with this right now. I gotta go.”
Yasmin put a hand on her stomach, as if to shield the baby from his rejection. “I won’t have you playing mind games with our child. If you’re not going to be a loving, committed father don’t bother coming around at all. The baby and I will have more than enough support from my family and friends.”
Rashawn started toward the door, then stopped. “I’m not walking out on you, Yasmin. I’d never disrespect you like that. I just need some time to think, to get my mind right, okay?”
“Take as much time as you need.”
“I’ll call you.”
Yasmin nodded, knowing it might be weeks or months before she heard from him again. He was trying to let her down easily and she was trying fruitlessly to preserve her dignity. Toying with the belt on her satin robe, she allowed the tears to fall. She wanted to throw herself into his arms, wanted to beg him to stay, wanted him to know how much she loved him and their baby. But she did none of these things. “Take care of yourself,” she said, for lack of anything else to say.
Rashawn tossed a final look over his shoulder, then stalked out the bedroom door.
Chapter 27
Yasmin kicked off her high heels. Whoever said pregnancy was a glorious time had obviously never been pregnant, she decided, stretching her weary legs out in front of her. Her back ached, her feet hurt and she couldn’t keep her eyes open long enough to get anything done. Overwhelmed by sudden bursts of exhaustion, she eagerly anticipated that burst of energy often associated with the second trimester.
