“I’m fine.” Her crisp tone said otherwise and they both knew it.
Well, if she wasn’t going to address the elephant in the room, he would. “I shouldn’t have kissed you this afternoon on the beach. Things started to get out of hand and I made you uncomfortable. I apologize. It won’t happen again.”
She eyed him like he was an idiot. “You think I’m upset because you kissed me?”
Her incredulous tone told him he was missing something vitally important here, but damn if he knew what it was. If she wasn’t upset about the kiss then what the hell was her problem?
“I think this was a mistake. You and me and this whole week. I think you should leave, Balen.”
She turned to leave and he must have been a sucker for punishment, because he stopped her again. “If that’s what you want, no problem. I’ll go. I was doing this for you, so you wouldn’t have to spend the week alone. But before I leave, I think I deserve to know why you’re so pissed off.”
“For me? Do I look that pathetic to you?” she snapped, jerking her wrist from his grasp. “Listen, Balen, I don’t need you. I don’t need anybody. I’ve done just fine on my own for the last two years.”
That was debatable, but he wasn’t about to poke the bear by pointing that out. “Why are you so upset?”
“Aside from the fact that you just insulted me? How about you tell me who Monica is? Let’s start there.”
Autumn’s voice cracked over him like a whip. This ginger had officially snapped. Anger glittered in her bright blue eyes. And now this all made perfect sense. If he thought he’d gotten a taste of her temper at the airport, he hadn’t seen anything yet.
But she wasn’t the only one pissed off. Just the mention of that woman’s name sparked Balen’s anger. “Careful, Autumn. You’re starting to sound like a jealous girlfriend, and I think I’ve been more than clear right from the beginning that’s not what this is.” He pointed between them, wondering if he’d misjudged her after all. She’d claimed she didn’t want a relationship, that was what made this safe—made this fun. It had an expiration date.
“No, that’s not what this is.” She mocked his back and forth gesture. “But that doesn’t mean I’m okay with being your fling while you mess around behind some poor woman’s back.”
The irony was so ridiculous he would have laughed if he wasn’t so damn insulted. Autumn thought he was fucking around on Monica? That was a good one. Balen was tempted to let her believe whatever she wanted to, and say sayonara to the whole goddamn thing. Three days in and this shit was already starting to get messy. But damn, he’d enjoyed spending time with her.
She’d obviously overheard Connor’s remark about Monica as they’d headed up to the house, and she’d made her own assumptions from there. He wasn’t sure he wanted to give her an explanation. He certainly didn’t owe her one, and he enjoyed talking about that wave runner about as much as he would a proctology exam.
“Listen, Balen, how you choose to live your life is your business. I just won’t be a part of it. I’ve been cheated on. It’s devastating. And I won’t be the other woman—”
“It’s not what you think, Autumn.” Without consciously making the decision to open up to her, the explanation seemed to tumble from his lips. Because he wanted to prove her wrong or vindicate himself, he wasn’t sure. For some reason, the idea of Autumn thinking ill of him bothered him, maybe more than it should have. “Despite what you may believe, not all guys are assholes. Monica is my ex-fiancée. We broke up nine months ago—when she cheated on me. She wants to reconcile, I don’t. End of story.” It wasn’t nearly that, but it was all he’d say about it.
Her expression changed from condemning to empathetic and, goddammit, he didn’t want either one.
“I was hanging out with you because we have fun together.” Truth. “I also get to avoid my ex until she leaves the island. It was a win-win.” Also true. But it was more complicated than that. He had no intention of telling her about the paparazzi or the damn sex tape. She had no idea who he was and he wanted to keep it that way. “Don’t look at me like that, Autumn. I’m over her.”
She broke his stare but couldn’t disguise the remorse in her eyes. “I’m sorry I misjudged you.”
She looked like she wanted to reach out to him, to comfort him, but he didn’t need or want her pity. He was pissed, which was often his sentiment when talking about Monica. “Autumn, you’ve been misjudging me from the moment we met.”
Balen headed toward the spare bedroom before he said something he’d regret. Slamming the door behind him, he began stuffing his few belongings back in the duffle bag. He was zipping it closed when a soft knock sounded on the door. Instead of answering it, he slung the strap over his shoulder and pulled it open to leave.
She appeared surprised to see him standing there with his shit all packed.
“You’re leaving?”
Did she think he was going to stay? Oh, that’s right… She thought he was homeless.
“But where will you go?”
Case in point. He chuffed a sarcastic grunt and shook his head as he shouldered past her. She may not know who he was, but it still grated on his nerves that she’d chosen to believe the worst possible scenario.
“Balen, wait…” Now it was her turn to chase after him, apparently. “Don’t go.”
“Why would I possibly want to stay?” he asked incredulously, spinning around to confront her.
Her expression fell. Goddammit, what was it about this woman that always got him right in the feels? Why did he have such a sense of responsibility to her? She was practically a stranger and yet here she was, twisting him up in knots. It didn’t take Autumn long to recover. When she did, it was obvious she was back on the offensive again.
“I don’t want your pity any more than you want mine! And I’m sure as hell not going to beg you to stay. If you want to be here, then fine—stay. If not, then it was nice knowing you.”
Autumn didn’t wait to see if he left. She turned back around and headed to her room, slamming the door behind her. Balen was right. She’d misjudged him, and to be fair, he had every right to be angry with her. If he was still here in the morning, then great, and if not, well, whatever. She didn’t need him, dammit. She didn’t need anyone. And that was the same mantra she’d been telling herself for the last two years. In hindsight, she probably should have just asked him about Monica rather than jumping to conclusions and nailing him with accusations. But given her track record with men, trust wasn’t something she had a lot of.
She crossed the room and was headed for the shower, anxious to get the itchy salt water washed off her when her cell chimed. Stopping to check it, she sat on the edge of the bed and opened Summer’s message.
How was your day with One and Not So Done?
Very funny. It was good until I showed him my crazy.
Oh no, LOL! What happened?
We went on that paddle boarding thing you booked. We were having a nice time and stopped at a private beach. His brother showed up and I overheard him say something, but instead of just asking Balen about it, of course I overreacted. So…
You? Overreact? I don’t believe it… ;)
Ha-ha. I made an ass out of myself. We’ll see if he’s still here in the morning or if I scared him off.
Advice?
Sure. Autumn knew her friend well enough to know she was going to get it whether she wanted it or not.
Stop taking yourself so seriously and loosen up. You’re on vacation, remember? When you leave, you’re never going to see any of those people again.
Why wasn’t that thought as comforting as it should have been?
Text me tomorrow and let me know if he’s still there. I bet he can take your brand of crazy. ;)
Despite herself, Autumn laughed. Guess they’d just have to see…
Chapter Fourteen
Autumn woke to the smell of bacon, buttery eggs, and the rich, aromatic blend of brewing coffee. He’s still here…
&
nbsp; Perhaps that shouldn’t have pleased her as much as it did, and maybe that should have concerned her more, but she didn’t want to think about why the butterflies she believed were long dead and buried seemed to come to life every time Balen was close to her. The scents infiltrating her room reminded Autumn she hadn’t eaten last night. Her mouth began to water, urging her to get out of bed.
She glanced at the clock and scowled—5 a.m. Seriously? Who voluntarily gets up so early? Not bothering to get dressed because Balen had already seen her in a hell of a lot less than a tank top and boxer shorts, she trudged through the living room and headed straight for the coffee pot.
Balen was sitting at the table with a plate piled high of scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. Huh…breakfast of champions apparently, because that guy could have been on the cover of any Wheaties box. He had a huge glass of orange juice beside him but no coffee. Had he made that just for her? He glanced up as she walked by and his chewing ground to a halt. She felt his amber-flecked eyes follow her and tried to ignore the way her nerve endings lit up as he watched her reach into the cupboard.
“You’re still here…” she commented, grabbing the carafe from the hotplate and filling her mug. Autumn came over to the table and pulled out the chair across from Balen before sitting down, taking a sip of the delicious brew. She couldn’t help but notice the corded muscles in Balen’s throat bob as he swallowed his bite of breakfast.
“I decided I liked my odds with you better than my ex.”
Well, at least he was being honest. Obviously, Balen wasn’t as altruistic as he’d made it sound when he’d so graciously offered to take Summer’s place and be her “best friend” for the week. But then people rarely did something for nothing and at least she knew the truth.
Autumn’s pulse began to quicken as he studied her across the table. She was starting to resent the effect he had on her, especially when his gaze dropped below her neck and her nipples hardened, beading against the soft cotton of her nightshirt. Perhaps she should have gotten dressed after all.
Playing it cool, she pretended not to notice she was making a fine impression of the Grand Tetons and sipped her coffee. She reached across the table, plucked a piece of bacon off his plate, and began to munch it. “You’re up early.”
“This is the best time of day to catch the waves.” He reached behind him, pulled open a drawer, and grabbed another fork. Handing it to her, he pushed his plate into the center of the table and took another bite of his breakfast.
It seemed oddly intimate, sharing Balen’s plate, but she was hungry and he acted like it was a perfectly natural thing to do. No big deal. So she forked a glob of scrambled eggs and popped them into her mouth. They ate together in silence a few minutes then Autumn finally broke it by saying, “Who would’ve thought you were such a great cook.” She grabbed a slice of toast and took a bite. As she chewed, Balen pushed his glass of juice her way and gave her one of those dimple-flashing grins.
“Guess I’m just full of surprises.”
Yes. Yes, he was…
It was damn difficult sitting across from Autumn with a granite-splitting hard-on tenting his board shorts. Yeah, he’d be waiting here awhile and he was probably going to miss his wave. The woman even woke up beautiful, with that sexy bed-ruffled hair hanging down to the middle of her back. The low scoop of her tank top exposed the top swells of her breasts and those boxer shorts were just about the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. Autumn had curves—and she wore them well—perfect tits and long shapely legs…legs he desperately wanted to crawl between.
Not for the first time, he questioned his wisdom in staying. Would it have been better for the both of them if he’d left? Possibly, because every day was proving to be a greater challenge to keep his hands—and mouth—to himself. As much as she might have thought she was ready to move on after her divorce, it was obvious she wasn’t there emotionally and he refused to pressure her into something she may look back on and regret.
Without a doubt, he enjoyed spending time with Autumn, and perhaps that was the crux of the problem. He literally could not remember the last time he’d enjoyed a woman’s company without getting horizontal. But Balen genuinely liked Autumn, maybe a little too much.
That kiss on his beach yesterday was still haunting him. All night, it kept playing through his mind on an endless loop of possibilities he could never allow to come to fruition. Maybe when she had been some random woman on a plane he could have justified the meaningless fuck, but after spending ten minutes with her, it was easy to see there was nothing meaningless about Autumn Harris. She may have thought she could do casual, but that wasn’t her style, even if she wanted to tell herself otherwise.
The temptation to seduce her was strong—he’d have to be deaf, dumb, and blind not to want her—but maybe, more than anything, Balen needed to prove to himself that there was still some shred of integrity left inside him. That Monica hadn’t destroyed all the goodness in him with her betrayal, and that he was more than the image he’d so effortlessly cast himself.
What had originally been self-preservation had quickly spiraled out of control until he no longer recognized the man he saw in the mirror—the man whose face graced more tabloids, internet articles, and YouTube videos than he wanted to admit. Even if the sex tape debacle disappeared, the internet still proved a legacy of bad decisions. And for the first time, he found himself hoping Autumn didn’t discover who he was for an entirely different reason. If she knew the truth, there was a high probability he wouldn’t be sitting here having breakfast with her.
“So…” he said, pushing aside his thoughts and reaching across the table to retrieve his orange juice. “What’s on the itinerary today?” He took a sip to wet his suddenly parched throat, ignoring the pinch of guilt in his chest.
“Umm… Surf lessons.”
His brow arched. Surfing lessons… The thought of getting Autumn stripped down to a bikini and on his surfboard painted some hot imagery he tucked away later for his spank bank. But in all reality, she was not ready for that. “Autumn, you’re just learning to swim and these waves have a mind of their own.”
She took another bite of his toast and set the slice on the side of his plate. “You don’t have to convince me that it’s a bad idea.”
He chuckled. “What about this? We’ll table the surfing until you get more comfortable being in the water. When you’re ready to tackle the waves, I’ll give you a surfing lesson.”
She eyed him over the rim of her coffee cup and took a sip. “I don’t know. Swimming lessons are one thing, but are you sure you’re qualified to take me surfing?”
Trying to keep a straight face, he answered with as much seriousness as he could muster, “I’m pretty sure I can handle it.”
She studied him a moment, as if deciding something. “All right, then what do you want to do today instead?”
A lot of suggestions were jockeying in his mind, none of them fit for repeating. She took another bite of eggs and reached for his glass of orange juice. For not liking breakfast, she sure was enjoying his. An odd feeling of satisfaction filled his chest. He probably shouldn’t have enjoyed sharing a plate of food with her as much as he did. It had always annoyed him when Monica had picked off his plate, but with Autumn it was comfortable—natural.
“If you want, I can take you someplace you won’t find on a tourist map.”
It wasn’t until she shot him a skeptical look that he realized how suggestive that had sounded. Not missing a beat, she said, “Is this one of those ‘there’s a party in your pants and I’m invited’ jokes?”
Balen laughed. Damn, he wished. “No, smartass, it really is a place. Tourism is huge here, and there are a few less-known places in Cyprus the locals like to keep off the map.”
“Does it involve sky diving, alligator wrestling, or eating sushi?”
“No, no, and no. But you’re going to need your bikini, sunscreen, and a good pair of walking shoes.”
The smile she sent him made h
is chest feel tight and his heart beat a little faster.
“Then I’m in.”
Chapter Fifteen
“How much farther?” Autumn asked, hiking up the narrow path behind Balen. They’d veered off the main trail a quarter mile ago. She’d always considered herself in good shape. She did her yoga three times a week, and she could rock a Pilates class like nobody’s business. But her cardio, she’d discovered thirty minutes into this steep, mountainous hike, wasn’t as great as she’d thought. She was sweating so much she felt like a drowned rat, and probably didn’t smell a heck of a lot better. She wore her bikini beneath a tank top and Daisy Dukes. Hopefully, wherever Balen was taking her, there would be some water so she could rinse off. She had no idea where they were going, and not for lack of trying. But after repeated attempts, without even a hint, she gave up asking.
“We’re almost there. Just about another quarter mile.”
Biting back a groan, she soldiered on. Her legs burned with lactic acid and her heart hammered against her ribs. She should probably have focused on her breathing rather than staring at Balen’s fine ass. How was it possible he was barely breaking a sweat? It was hotter than Hades out here.
“You’re lucky I trust you,” she grumbled behind him.
“Yeah? Why’s that?” he chuckled, casting a glance over his shoulder.
“I’m blindly following you to God knows where. For all I know, you could be leading me up this mountain to kill me. They’d never find my body.”
Balen laughed, and the deep rumble warmed her already overheated skin. “It’s not a mountain.”
“It feels like a mountain.”
“And I’m not going to kill you.”
One and Done (Island of Love Book 1) Page 11
