by Milly Taiden
The look on her face, filled with need and hunger, shook off the insecurity of taking her to his room. Desperation took control of him. Of his action. Of his mind.
A new force hauled him through his door. She stopped in the middle of the room and turned to face him with her gorgeous eyes speaking for her. They taunted him to hurry up.
She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth. “I am not going to ask you to show me your scars.” Oxygen froze in his lungs. “But if you choose to, understand there is nothing that will change how much I want you.”
Maybe. The darkness that tried to consume him into the world of self-doubt made its presence known. Or she could give him one of those looks that reached down to his gut and made him feel all kinds of inadequate. Like the nurses had done. Like his ex-girlfriend had. He was no longer that good looking guy that chatted up the ladies. Or the one who’d joined Ryan’s unit. No. She was looking at a show of his former self.
He took a step toward her. God she was so beautiful. Her eyes shone with understanding, and it almost made him rethink things. Almost.
“I know what pain is like, Matt,” she whispered.
“Not my pain.” Fear for her to see what he’d turned into made him lash out. “People say they understand, but they don’t. Nobody does. You return a ghost of a person. It’s easy to say things, but when you live hell day in and day out, it messes with your soul. To be so drastically changed that you’re not you anymore? How do you think that feels?”
She reeled back as if slapped, but continued to meet his gaze. “Probably as bad as it feels to trust someone and find out that they broke your trust, they killed any affection, and to top it off, they wanted to see you destroyed.”
“I’m not the man I used to be.” He forced out. His chest ached with a burning he’d never felt before. He knew that he was slowly killing their evening with his words, but he couldn’t seem to stop.
“I’m not the person I was three years ago.” She sat down on the trunk in front of his bed, hands folded in a tight grip. “I have a hard time seeing any good in men lately.”
She pressed her lips together before glancing up at him. “I didn’t want to come here. I knew there was a possibility I’d meet a nice guy. But I didn’t want to take that chance. You asked me earlier if I wanted to find love. My past experience tells me that if love hurts you to the point it almost destroys you then no, I don’t want that love.”
Sadness filled his chest. For her. For him. For the things they were both scared of in other people.
“Love isn’t like that. Haven’t you seen Kayla and Ryan? There are no lies or deceptions, just an honest need to make each other happy. Without asking for anything in return.”
She glanced down at her hands. “I’ve never experienced that before. So it’s a little hard for me to believe I ever will. Especially with my track record.”
It was then he fully realized Jessie had scars too. Probably bigger ones than him. Yet Jessie sat there, all sad and alone. It cracked something inside him. He liked her. She was beautiful, and the things she’d said so far made her one of the few people who came close to knowing how he felt without the experience.
He got on his knees in front of her and took her hands in his. It was stupid, but he wanted to tell her to trust him. That he wouldn’t do those things to her.
“Stay here.” He heard himself say.
She cocked her head, staring at him. “I don’t know. You and I. This is only going to lead to someone getting hurt.”
Yeah, and it looked to him like it would be him. His heart already beat harder when she smiled and his stomach twisted at her sad look. Maybe he hadn’t wanted a relationship before. But that was before Jessie. Before he saw that there was a nice woman who’d been hurt by lies that also needed tender care.
He didn’t get a chance to say anything else. She leaned forward and kissed his lips. Just a flutter of a kiss and pulled back.
“Matt, you’re beautiful.” Her lips tipped up in a small grin. “Not because of your eyes, or your hair, or that hard body I know lives under your clothes. No. You’re strong, a hero. You fought for our people and came back. You left it all behind to protect our country. All that, with the possibility that you might be giving up your life.”
He swallowed hard the knot in his throat. He’d never thought of what he’d done in that way. Just knew he wanted to help keep his friends and family safe.
“I’m no hero.”
Her small hand caressed his bristly cheek. “You are. You’re a hero scarred. But until you start to realize not everyone will pity you, you’re never going to move on.”
A sick sensation took over at the pit of his stomach. Should he show her his scars? Would that finally prove that she was different? Bile hit the back of his throat as he fought the sickness in his stomach.
“I’m sorry, Jessie.” He saw a flash of pain flicker through her eyes.
“It’s fine. I should go.” She stood and marched past him. At the door, she stopped and said, “Thank you for a really great evening.”
Curling his hands into fists, he watched her go. He couldn’t give her what she wanted. From the moment he’d returned changed—from the inside out, he knew that learning to open up would be hard. War alone was tough. The things he’d seen still gave him nightmares, but his scars weren’t a sideshow.
A few hours later, he was still sitting on his bed, thinking. Jessie. They were both so scarred. Could anything work between them? His mind ran her words in circles, over and over again. Dawn fast approached when someone knocked on his door.
Jessie.
He jumped off the bed and flung it open. Ryan. His friend’s deep set frown worried him.
“What’s wrong?”
“I think we should talk,” he said. “Want to go down by the beach?”
“Sure.” It wasn’t like he’d get any sleep. Not when all he’d been thinking about was Jessie. Jessie’s lips. Jessie sucking his cock. Jessie moaning as she rode him.
The sun had started to peek up as they reached the beach. He and Ryan sat down by the water, letting it wet their feet as the tide came in.
“What’s going on?”
“Look, I know what Kayla did wasn’t the best way to go about things, and for that I’m sorry. She really thought you and Jessie would hit it off being that you’ve had difficult times lately.”
He nodded. Kayla had been right. “It’s okay. Don’t even worry about it. We had a nice dinner.”
“That’s the thing.” Ryan turned to him. “Jessie waited up for us last night. She seemed down and asked Kayla to arrange for someone to take her home.”
“What?”
Pulsing pain beat at his chest. He’d done that. Pushed her away with his need to hide himself.
“She said she didn’t want to interrupt our other guests and would return another time.” Ryan’s gaze never wavered from his face. “I just wanted to let you know. She looked kind of sad.”
“She wanted to see my scars.” He gulped at the sick sensation curling around his vocal cords.
“So? Why didn’t you show them to her? She sees scars all the time.”
“What?” His surprise sounded in his question.
Ryan shook his head. His lips pressed into a tight line. “She works with Kayla. They’ve been working with deformed and severely scarred children. Plus, she volunteers in the burn unit. She’s probably seen worse scars than the ones you have.”
“I-I couldn’t show them to her.”
Ryan’s shoulders drooped. “Why?”
“You know how hard it is to see that sympathy and pity in people’s faces. It only serves to remind us of our flaws.”
“She’s not like that. Jessie’s husband was an asshole who took her for a ride and then tried to leave her with nothing. Took her two years to get rid of the bastard. This was her first time meeting someone new.”
Acid burned in Matt’s stomach. She’d seemed so sad with some of the things she’d said. “She said
some things that made me question if she knew what it was like to be hurt like we are.”
Ryan picked up a seashell and started flipping it between his fingers. “She knows all right. Her ex cheated, took some of the money her parents left her, and when she fought back, he put his hands on her. So yeah, she knows.”
“I feel like such a dick.” He ran his fingers through his hair, gripping the short strands. Frustration and stupidity beat at his insides. He’d felt so insecure, so hurt, that he swore she couldn’t understand. Dumbass. Someone as sweet as her shouldn’t have been hurt at all.
Ryan sighed. “It happens to all of us man. I almost lost Kayla from my own insecure thoughts.” He pinned him with a serious look. “Don’t do the same. Jessie’s a wonderful person. I’m not telling you to go ask for her hand in marriage. The poor woman has had enough negativity with that to be a skeptic for life, but if you like her to the point you feel comfortable with her, talk to her. When you meet a person who understands some of the fear and pain you’ve been through, get to know her better. She may just be the one who’ll make you feel whole again.”
Air froze in his chest. That’s what he’d been feeling the hours he’d spoken to Jessie. A bit more like the man he’d used to be. He’d felt…whole. Urgency grew wings in his heart. He had to find her. Talk to her.
“I need to see her.”
Ryan smiled. “The chopper’s waiting for you.”
SEVEN
Jessie sat on her living room sofa, staring at the latest set of documents she’d come home to. Another legal battle. This time over her father’s antique car. Her lawyer had already said it wasn’t even worth her time to worry, but he wanted to keep her abreast of what her ex-husband was up to.
“I knew it was too good to be true.” She sighed, exhausted.
Uncurling her feet from under her, she stood to go run a shower. She’d shut off most of the lights in the living room, leaving a single lamp beside the sofa lighting the space. Her mind drifted back to Matt. Scarred Matt. She wished she could have helped him see that those scars didn’t make the man, that the man he was inside mattered more.
Kayla had tried to get her to stay. Jessie felt bad, but if she stayed, she’d seek out Matt and he was too scared to see beyond his scars to open himself up. Then again, so was she.
Her doorbell rang. Hopefully it wasn’t Rissa coming to tell her how she needed to cut her shit and finish her vacation. She really could do without having the “you’re stressed out” talk. Her throat closed up when she saw him standing there.
“Matt?”
He held a bouquet of yellow roses toward her. Anxiety filled his gaze.
She took them out of his hands and studied his tense stance.
“I’m sorry,” he blurted out.
“Um, do you want to come in?” Heartbeats pounded so hard in her chest she felt lightheaded.
He strode into her apartment, filling up her living room with the scent of his fresh cologne. Her mouth watered as she took in the way his jeans fit his ass. Hot damn. The leather jacket and black T-shirt reminded her of a biker badass.
She cleared her throat, placed the flowers over the coffee table, and studied him. “What are you sorry about?”
“I was stupid.” He gulped, curling his hands into fists. “I didn’t want to see pity in your face when you saw my scars. I’ve been so self-involved in my own world of keeping others from feeling sorry for me, that I didn’t stop to think maybe you wouldn’t.”
She took a tentative step toward him. “I would never feel sorry for you. You have scars. We all have them.”
With a shaky breath, she lifted some of her tank top to reveal her side. Large scars lined the area down from her ribcage to her hip.
He frowned as he stared at the jagged lines. “What happened to you?”
“When I was a little girl, we visited some family in the country. The boys were all climbing this thick, tall, tree.” She dropped her tank back into place and took another step, until she stood before him, watching him as she spoke. “My little sister, Rissa, asked me if I could do it.”
His gorgeous eyes never wavered from her face. Interest brightened the blue depths. She snorted. “It was the big sister challenge. I got to the top without a problem.” She licked her lips, lifted a hand to his chest and placed it over his heart. “But on my way down, I slipped and landed on a broken bottle.”
His eyes went wide. “Christ!”
“It embedded into my side.” The tripping of his heart under her palm felt soothing, intoxicating. “My dad took me to the hospital and said ‘You’ll be scarred, but that scar means you dealt with something and became strong because you survived it.’’’
She watched the emotions play out in his eyes. Fear. Concern. Hope. “I don’t need to see your scars to know you’re a survivor.” She glanced at his mouth and was tempted to kiss him. “But you shouldn’t hide behind them.”
Slowly, she slid her hands down to the edge of his T-shirt and under to feel his stomach.
He cupped her face in his hands and he kissed her, a powerful, emotional kiss that crushed her insecurities and flooded her with hope. He curled his tongue around hers, driving her arousal higher. Passion burnt in her core. Her pussy slickened with need. He pulled away from her, eyes glittering with desire.
She panted breaths into her lungs, watching him remove his jacket. Oh boy. He grabbed the hem of his T-shirt and started to pull it up.
“Let me,” she said, taking hold of the material.
She drew the cotton up and over his head until he was only wearing those ass-hugging jeans she wanted to tear off.
His hands clenched at his sides. That wouldn’t do. Locking her gaze with his, she leaned into him and kissed his stomach. His abs quivered under her lips. She kissed him repeatedly, working her way up his torso. Her mind wandered below the belt and she undid his jeans as her lips reached his nipple. His hot, hard, cock sprang forth.
“Jessie…”
She glanced up into his eyes darkened with arousal. “Matt, I want you. I don’t just mean want.” She hoped her honesty would clear some of the doubt in his eyes. “My body melts to a puddle of hormones for you. Scars or not, your body turns me on. Your face is gorgeous, but the rest of you is hot enough to destroy all my brain cells. You make me feel amazing, and I want to do the same for you.”
A smile tipped up his lips. “You are.” He kissed her again, running his lips up her cheek to her ear. “You know what this means, don’t you?”
His deep voice made goose bumps spread over her skin. “Hmm?”
“I’m not going anywhere.” He stared deep into her eyes. “You are a beautiful woman inside and out, and I want to spend more time with you. I know you’ve had that awful experience with your previous marriage.”
She glanced away, but slowly turned back to him. “Our time at the island taught me something.” She swallowed at the fear trying to worm its way into her chest. “You’re not like my ex, and I need to stop thinking all men are.”
“I don’t ever want to hurt you.”
Her heart flipped. Joy seeped through her pores and settled in her chest, warming the emotions she’d frozen long ago. “I know.”
“But I don’t want to let you go.”
She smiled. Happiness burst through her fear and kicked it to the curb. “So what do you want?”
“I want us to go back to the island and finish that vacation. I want to spend more days watching the sunset together.”
“I think that’s a very good idea.”
His gaze bore into hers. “No pressure. I just want you. Time with you.”
“That’s an offer I can accept.” She smiled and stroked his cock with her hand.
“Perfect. Now let’s see about your clothes.” His flirty grin melted her heart.
“I have one request.” She leaned forward and flicked her tongue over his nipple, enjoying his sharp intake of air. “Fuck me. I really want us to do it again. A lot of times.”
In a movement so fast she didn’t get a chance to react, he picked her up in his arms and held her. She curled her arms around his neck. “Matt, I’m big, put me down.”
“Nah, you’re all sexy curves, and I love it.”
The big, handsome jerk was gonna get a hernia. She felt him toe off his shoes and kick his jeans to the side.
“Which way to your room?” He kissed her shoulder.
She turned her head to the side to give him better access and pointed down the hall. “First door to your left.”
“I know we can make this work.” He gave her the “I’m going to fuck you brain dead” smile. Her pussy fluttered, desperate for him to fill her.
“I think so too.” She laughed. “Now let’s go see about getting me naked and laid.”
The End
A HERO FOR SALE
Nick
NEW YORK TIMES and USA TODAY BESTSELLING AUTHOR
MILLY TAIDEN
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Captain Nick Gates isn't looking for love. He's also not interested in being sold in a bachelor auction. Unfortunately for him, it's happening. The auction, that is. Love, that's another story. He was severely burned when his fiancée dumped him right after he was hurt during the war. Love? He doesn't do that. No matter how cute he thinks Addy is, his heart is off limits.
Addilyn Walton did something she's never done before for Nick Gates and he doesn't even know it. The one thing she does know is that Nick will hate her guts once he finds out who she is. Still, Addy is nothing like her sister, the evil spawn from hell. She has feelings and she really likes Nick. Enough to buy him at an auction for an outrageous amount of money. It's for charity, so it's okay, right?
