Convenient Marriage, Surprise Twins

by Amy Ruttan

  They said he’d killed her.

  His best friend. The only person who had been there for him, his beloved baby sister. He’d lost his family back then and learned a valuable lesson—hide your emotions. Don’t talk about painful things.

  It was better this way.

  Yet Lana was prying into something that he wasn’t willing to talk about.

  “Andrew, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  “You didn’t upset me.” He was lying through his teeth.

  “I just know that it pains you and it’s a significant scar. I just want to help.”

  “There’s nothing you can do.”

  “But...”

  “I don’t want to talk about it, Lana,” he snapped. “It’s done. There’s no use in talking about something you can’t change.”

  She frowned and then hugged her knees. “You’re right. Talking never really solves anything, does it?”

  It was sarcasm.

  And, just like that, the magic of their moment was shattered.

  There was a wall between them again, but the wall needed to be there. It would keep them both safe.

  You mean it will keep you safe.

  He shook that thought from his mind as he slipped on his shoes and buttoned up his shirt.

  “Where are you going?” she asked.

  “For another walk.”

  Lana nodded, but she wasn’t looking at him. “Okay. I think I’ll have a rest. I’m still tired from that surgery yesterday.”

  “Sounds good.” Andrew sighed inwardly and left the room. “I’ll see you later.”

  He hated himself right now. He hated hurting her, but she was treading on dangerous ground.

  You mean you are.

  * * *

  Lana knew that she had been treading on dangerous ground. Any time she’d mentioned his shoulder pain in the past he’d thrown up a wall. Why had she thought that this time would be different? She was beating herself up that she’d asked him about his scar.

  He’d mentioned an accident, but she couldn’t help but wonder what had happened. The first thing that came to mind as she thought about the way the scar was that his shoulder had been shattered and the repair hadn’t gone well.

  Or at least he didn’t think so.

  And maybe it hadn’t, given the pain he was in, but really, unless she examined it, she was just speculating. Lana seriously doubted that Andrew would let her look at it.

  She needed to just let it go.

  He didn’t want to talk about it so she wasn’t going to push. To keep the peace, she would keep quiet about it, although she didn’t want to.

  Lana got up and had a shower. She found her overnight suitcase in the luxurious dressing room and changed into some comfortable clothes. Instead of heading back to the bed, which she was trying to ignore, she went to the sitting area of the suite and settled down on the couch to watch some television.

  She didn’t want to think about what had happened in that bed.

  She was glad that it had happened, but now it was going to be awkward between the two of them. Which she didn’t want, so she was going to make sure that there wouldn’t be too much awkwardness between them as they had to live together and work together.

  To the rest of the world they had to appear the loving and happy couple.

  The door opened and he walked in, his hands in his pockets, and he looked as if he’d calmed down.

  “Lana, I want to apologize,” he said. “I didn’t mean to storm out again. I just had to get my head together. I’m not used to people being a part of my life. I’m used to being alone.”

  “It’s fine.” Even though her father and Jack were always around, Lana understood where he was coming from. She spent a lot of her life alone. She didn’t share much with anyone. She liked to keep parts of her life private. “There’s no need to apologize. We’re both adults.”

  As long as it was just her then she wouldn’t get hurt or disappointed. She could just live her life.

  No, you can’t. When have you ever done that?

  “Right.” He sounded shocked.

  “Yes. Some things are just better kept to ourselves and I’m sorry for prying.”

  He nodded and then took a seat on the chair in the sitting room. “I’m not sorry for what happened between us. I hope you don’t regret it.”

  “No, I don’t. And I stand by what I said. There doesn’t have to be anything else between us. We’ll just go on as originally planned until you get your green card. That’s it.”

  Only she wanted to ask him why he was keeping her out, but then if she started prying again then he would start prying into her hang-ups. And she didn’t want that.

  All she wanted to do was keep the peace for the next year.

  “Thanks, that’s what I was hoping for.” He looked as if he was going to say something more; instead he just said, “Thank you for being so understanding.”

  “Well, I want the same thing. I just want this year to be as peaceful as possible. We’ll figure out a routine to work and live together. One that will let outsiders think we’re having a happy marriage.”

  “We never really did talk about the end, did we?”

  The question caught her off guard. “Other than divorce, I suppose we didn’t.”

  “What’re we going to say? And when, like right after I get the green card?”

  “I don’t think it should be right after you get the green card. That would be suspicious.”

  He nodded. “Good point.”

  “I’m not sure of timings but we’ll have to come up with a plausible reason for us to end the marriage. My father stayed with my mother despite their unhappiness and I think if my mother hadn’t have left he would still be with her now.”

  Andrew frowned. “That sounds miserable.”

  “Marriage is for life,” Lana mimicked her father, making them both laugh and breaking the tension of the subject. “So, what do you think it should be?”

  “Well, I want your father to still respect me. I do like my job, but then again he may not if we divorce.”

  The word if caught her off guard. “You mean when, right?”

  “What?”

  “You said if we divorce, but you meant when, right?”

  A funny expression crossed his face. “Right. When.”

  “How about if you don’t want kids and I do? If I tried to flip that he would try to convince me to have children.”

  “You don’t want kids?” Andrew asked.

  “Not really.”

  It was a lie, but it was a lie she’d always told herself because after David she’d never thought that she’d ever get married and have a chance to have them. She was also sure that she wouldn’t make a good mother. She loved her career too much, just like her own mother had, and there was no way that she could ever walk away from a child, so she didn’t want to risk it.

  She didn’t want to have a child, to protect both her heart and the child she’d never have. It was just easier to say it out loud that she didn’t want them.

  “I’m fine if you want to tell him that I don’t want kids, because I don’t. I’ve never been the paternal type.”

  Lana nodded. “Okay, so it all comes down to when you get the green card; the timing of our divorce will be determined by that. Until that moment we’ll just live in the same house, work at the same hospital and just try to live a civilized life.”

  Andrew nodded. “It sounds like a plan.”

  “Good.” Only Lana didn’t feel too good about that plan. Something gnawed at the back of her mind. Something unsettling. And she was exhausted. “I think I’ll get some sleep.”

  “You take the bed and I’ll just hang out here in the sitting room.”

  “Are
you sure?”

  “Positive. I’m not the one that did an extra-long surgery the night before our wedding. Go and have a good night.”

  “‘Night.” Lana left the sitting room and headed off to bed alone. Even though she’d been planning to go to bed alone since he’d walked away and even before they’d decided to sleep together, she really didn’t want to be alone in the bed tonight.

  She wanted to be with him, but after the talk they’d just had she knew that was next to impossible.

  It would never happen. This marriage was just one of convenience.

  There was an expiration date.

  She’d spent her whole life alone and nothing was going to change now.

  CHAPTER NINE

  One month later

  IT’S JUST A stomach bug. Or stress.

  Stress was believable. Since her one stolen night of passion with Andrew, things had been awkward between them. He was rarely at her house, which was good, but when they did pass in the halls it was weird.

  He’d seen her at her most vulnerable. It unnerved her that he’d seen her like that. Yet that night of passion had been incredible and, even though things were awkward between them, she couldn’t get that night out of her head.

  All she could think of was his hands on her body. His lips against hers and the pleasure she’d felt. It had been intoxicating.

  Her stomach turned again as she crossed the ER floor and she knew then she couldn’t hold it in any longer.

  Lana ran to the bathroom, her hand over her mouth, as fast as she could. People got out of her way in the emergency room, because all day Lana had been running to the bathroom, where she was sick. She just couldn’t keep anything down. Smells that had never bothered her before, she could no longer stand.

  The thing was, she had no fever but she was hot and sweaty. She had a feeling she knew exactly what it was, but she hadn’t had the time yet to confirm it. And, frankly, she was too terrified by the prospect.

  “Dr. Haole, I think you should go home,” Clarissa, the charge nurse, said as she knelt down next to her, holding back her hair and then passing her a cool wet towel.

  “I’m not sick,” Lana tried to explain, but she sighed when she held the towel on her forehead. “I’m under the weather, but not sick.”

  Clarissa grinned at her. “I know.”

  Lana grabbed some toilet paper and wiped her mouth, the feeling of nausea subsiding. She leaned her head against her hand and sighed. “Thanks for holding my hair.”

  “You’re welcome,” Clarissa said. “I think you need to page your husband and do a test.”

  Lana closed her eyes and took a deep breath and then looked at Clarissa, who had been a charge nurse for as long as Lana could remember. She was one of the only nurses who didn’t think she was cold-hearted, who looked at her as a skilled surgeon and not the chief’s daughter. “I can’t be.”

  Clarissa just shook her head. “Doctors can be so stubborn and obtuse sometimes.”

  Lana took another deep breath, because she’d suspected it a couple of days ago when her cycle didn’t start—and it was never late.

  He wore a condom.

  Of course, those were not infallible.

  Great. Now how am I going to get an easy divorce?

  “You might not be,” Clarissa said, interrupting her thoughts. “It could be stress or a stomach bug. Still, it’s better to be tested. You were married last month.”

  “Right, can you page Andrew for me?” Lana asked. “I have to clean up.”

  Clarissa nodded. “Sure. Should I page him to the ER or to your office?”

  “The ER is fine. Send him to exam room five. I’ll be waiting with a lab kit. He can draw my blood.”

  Clarissa nodded and got up, shutting the bathroom door behind her.

  Oh, God.

  There was no way they would be able to convince her father that divorce would be the right thing if she was pregnant. And terminating this pregnancy was something Lana didn’t want to do either. This was her mistake and she stood by her mistakes.

  Something her father had taught her to do.

  I can’t be pregnant.

  A baby was not in the plans and she didn’t know how Andrew was going to take it. Ever since their one night together, things had been awkward.

  No, I can’t be pregnant.

  Of course it all made sense. Karma was such a pain in the butt. She got up from where she’d been kneeling over the toilet bowl. She flushed and then cleaned herself up. When she finally made her way down to exam room five she was thankful that she didn’t get another wave of nausea. It had been the strong smells that wafted out of the emergency room, mixed with the disinfectant that had set her off. Now, as she navigated the hallway through the ER toward the exam room, she breathed through her mouth so that she could hold it together.

  When she opened the door she saw that Andrew was in there, waiting for her. When he looked at her he wrinkled his nose.

  “Whoa, are you okay?”

  Andrew had been pretty scarce since their wedding night. Work kept her busy and when Andrew wasn’t at the hospital he was out at the beach with Jack and his other clients, training them for the World Surfing Championship that was coming up.

  Andrew had been oblivious to the last several mornings where she’d run to the bathroom to be sick.

  Which was probably a good thing. Things between them were strained enough.

  “I don’t know,” she said as she took a seat, because she was dizzy and the room was spinning. “I need you to run a test for me.”

  “Sure. What kind of test?”

  “A blood test that’s looking for levels of human chorionic gonadotropin in my blood.”

  “Human chorionic...” Then his eyes widened, the blood draining from his face, and he had to push his glasses back up. “Are you asking me to give you a pregnancy test?”

  The words came out like a shout and Lana had to hush him and then hissed, “I don’t think the patients in the next pod heard you.”

  Andrew ran his hand through his blond hair, his eyes wide behind his black-rimmed glasses. “Sorry, it’s just... I thought we used protection.”

  “It’s not infallible. You know that. You’re a doctor.”

  “So, you’re late?”

  “No, I’m right on time,” she snapped. Then she scrubbed a hand over her face. “I’m sorry. I just haven’t been feeling well the last few mornings. It could be a stomach bug.”

  Andrew’s mouth still hung open in disbelief. “Right, okay. Well, I’ll draw the blood and get it off to the lab.”

  “Thank you. If word gets out to my father that I am, he’s going to make me stay at home barefoot and pregnant to raise his grandchild,” she muttered.

  Andrew frowned. “Well, fathers can take paternity leave.”

  Her heart swelled at the thought of him taking time off for their baby, which she wasn’t even sure existed at this point, but then she recalled the conversation that they’d had on their wedding night. He didn’t want kids. He didn’t want to be tied down.

  That was what he’d told her.

  And now she was probably pregnant. Only he didn’t look too thrilled at the prospect of paternity leave and she felt guilty.

  “If I am pregnant you don’t...I can raise the baby.” She was used to shouldering the burden of responsibility.

  Andrew didn’t say anything. “Let’s not jump the gun.”

  “You said you didn’t want kids.”

  “I don’t.” He pulled on surgical gloves as Lana peeled off her white lab coat. She was wearing scrubs so she didn’t have to roll up her sleeves. He put a cuff around her arm and then swabbed her arm. “You’ll feel a small pinch.”

  Lana rolled her eyes and he took a blood sample. O
nce he was done he pressed a cotton ball to her arm and then labelled the test tube.

  “We’ll figure it out,” Andrew said, but she could hear the worry in his voice and the fear. “It could still be something else. Like rotavirus or something.”

  “Fingers crossed for food poisoning then?” she teased.

  He smiled, but it was forced. She could see that he was just as worried as she was. And he wasn’t making eye contact with her. Still as awkward since the night they’d slept together.

  “I’ll take this to the lab. Just sit tight. I don’t think you should be out on duty right now, especially if you’re vomiting everywhere.”

  “Agreed.”

  “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Andrew left the exam room.

  Lana lay back against the exam table and stared up at the ceiling. It was the first time she’d ever hoped that it was nothing more than a virus because it would make the separation from Andrew so much easier in a year, but deep down she really did want a baby.

  It would cramp her career and it would make it more complicated for Andrew to leave cleanly, but she wasn’t going to force him to stay if he didn’t want to be a father. However, she was going to be the best mother she possibly knew how to be.

  At least this child would love her unconditionally. She didn’t have to be anything other than a loving parent with this baby.

  She could do this.

  Maybe.

  There were things she’d do differently—and she’d never leave.

  You don’t know that. Your mother left.

  And that thought scared her to her core.

  * * *

  Andrew was pacing outside the lab. He was waiting for the results. He didn’t say who the test was for. He just called the patient Jane Doe and made up an elaborate tale about how a patient needed an X-ray for a broken shin but wasn’t sure if she was pregnant or not. So he needed a rush on the result.

  The lab assistant bought it and now all Andrew could do was wait.

  He’d never wanted to be a father. That was what he always told himself. How could he be a good father when he didn’t have a good example to emulate?