I’m not only zuchtlos, I’m terrible at it.
“I don’t know what you mean, Rowan.” My voice cracked as I spoke.
Rowan moved so quickly he was a blur. One moment, he was standing by the door. The next, Rowan scooped me onto his lap and began kissing my hair. “It means we belong together. I’m going to fight for that. Believe me when I say that it will happen, just not right now.” He set his knuckle under my chin, guiding me closer. Our gazes met. Everything open, honest, and good in this world shone through his eyes. “Do you believe me?”
Here, in his arms, there was no question in my mind. “I do.”
“I have to go. What will you do?”
“Find Amelia. Ask her where Ada and the others might be hidden.” I exhaled a long breath. “There’s nothing else for it. We can only begin the search anew. I have a day left. I’ll simply make the most of it.”
“I wish I could help you, but I’ve duties of my own today.” He squeezed me a little tighter. I decided that the lands of Sire of Souls could disappear—being held against Rowan’s bare chest was heaven.
I shifted in his arms. “I should start now.”
“As your healer, I’d say you’re in no shape to do that. Give yourself a little time, Elea. Only an hour or so, and you can leave.”
“If you’re sure.”
“Certain.”
Everything was so warm and cozy. My eyes drifted shut. “Perhaps I’ll nap a bit, then.”
“Good.” Rowan set me under the covers and tucked the blanket gently under my chin. “And don’t forget. No matter where you go, I will find you. Believe that.”
I meant to say that I believed him, yet the words didn’t come. Instead, my body felt heavy as I drifted off into what promised to be my deepest sleep in years.
22
When I closed my eyes, my dreams took me back to the Midnight Cloister once again. Ada and Veronique were running through the stone hallways and laughing. Veronique looked the way I’d imagined she’d been when she first met Amelia—a bright-eyed and willowy girl with long blonde hair. Her buttercup-yellow gown had an empire waist and billowed around her as she ran.
And Ava was the sweet moppet I’d first met at the Midnight Cloister. Dark, straight hair, exotic eyes, and a smile that dared you not to return it. She wore her gray Novice’s robes as Veronique chased her through the halls.
I tried my best to keep pace with them both. Every fiber of my soul wanted one last embrace. It wasn’t fair that I’d only seen a pile of ashes. That couldn’t be goodbye.
No matter how fast I ran, though, I couldn’t keep up with them. Soon, they raced on ahead of me. I could hear their laughter but couldn’t find them at all. Somehow, I ended up at the door of Petra, my old Mother Superior. Blue light flared through the keyhole. Smoke wafted out from under her door. My eyes widened as I realized what this meant.
A spell. Petra was summoning me through my dream.
For days, I’d been meaning to send another message to Petra. Things kept getting in the way, though. And now? After so much excitement, what I needed was rest, not to confront my old Mother Superior. I’d hoped the few scraps of information I sent before would be enough to satisfy her. Obviously not.
And I especially didn’t want to see her not face-to-face. I’d changed so much since I left the Zelle. Petra would not approve. Necromancers were supposed to control their emotions, especially when it came to sexuality.
She’d never understand Rowan.
The door swung open. Blue light poured into the hallway around me.
“Come in, Elea.” Petra’s reedy voice echoed from the room beyond. I took in a deep breath, straightened my shoulders, and crossed the threshold.
Petra’s room was small and spare, with a tiny cot, writing desk, and wooden trunk. She lay under a thin coverlet, her long gray hair spreading across the pillow like a halo. Her body looked as frail as a child’s.
My breath caught. Petra didn’t look well. Dark circles hung under her eyes, and her skin was so pale it was almost colorless. I rushed over to kneel at her side.
“Mother, what’s wrong?”
“I’m getting older, Elea.”
I ached to comfort her with a hug, but good Necromancers weren’t weak in that way. “What can I do?”
“Nothing. It’s the way of things.” Petra let out a rattling breath. “It’s been a rough winter at the Zelle Cloister. Only eight of us left.”
I fought hard not to show emotion. However, there was no avoiding the quiver in my voice. “Who went on to the Sire of Souls?”
“The Zaft sisters. Olga, Klara, Gita, and Frieda.”
Images of their faces appeared in my mind. The Zaft sisters were elflike ladies who loved to clean the chapel while finishing one another’s sentences. Olga was over ninety, but still seemed strong enough to lift an oxcart. Klara, Gita, and Frieda worked in the kitchens and always brought me fresh bread when I’d forgotten to eat while studying.
Now, they were gone too. My eyes stung with held-in tears.
“Don’t abandon your training. They go to a better place, as will I. This is no time for mourning or shows of frivolous emotion. You must find trained Necromancers who can keep our ways alive.”
A bitter taste crept up my throat. “There’s no chance of that, I’m afraid.”
“What do you mean? Last I knew, there were thousands of Necromancers under the Vicomte’s control. He couldn’t have killed them all so quickly.”
I set my hand over my mouth. It was better than sobbing. “He did. They’re all gone.”
There was a flicker of rage in Petra’s eyes before her features settled into a mask of calm once more. “And what did he do with their power?”
Leave it to Mother to ask the right question.
“It’s stored inside a totem ring.”
“Like the one in the witness watch that Amelia gave to you?”
“Almost the same. Only the totem ring in the vortex watch can actually transfer the magick.”
Petra wheezed out a slow breath. “To anyone?”
“Once there’s enough power, yes. The vortex watch will be fully charged tonight. After that, anyone can be infused with its power.”
Petra half-closed her eyes. Her lids looked thin as the most delicate lace. “That’s why he’s using your Sisters from the Midnight Cloister. He needs to drain the last of their power and activate the ring.”
“Ada and the others are still alive, Mother.” I leaned closer. “Time remains to save them. I have almost a full day before the Vicomte completely drains my Sisters. I know they’re at a Royal estate. Once I awaken, I’ll start combing through different sites as quickly as possible.”
Petra’s eyes opened wide. “You’ll do no such thing.”
I leaned back. A chill crept across my skin. What Petra was saying made no sense. “What do you mean, Mother?”
“Think with your head and not your heart, child. There are hundreds of Royal estates. You’ll never find your Sisters in time. But that totem ring inside the Vicomte’s vortex watch?” She pursed her papery lips. “Now that, you can find. You know where the Vicomte will be tonight, don’t you?”
“At the Montagne’s masquerade ball.” My words came out dreamy.
By the Sire. She’s right. To save the realms, I may have to sacrifice my friends. Bands of grief constricted around my windpipe. After all this work, I couldn’t leave them to die, could I?
“Listen to me carefully, Elea.” Petra’s voice took on the ring of authority. “You must get that vortex watch. That’s our people’s power. Our legacy.”
I hugged my elbows. This wasn’t what I wanted. My whole goal had been to find Ada, Veronique, and my other Sisters. Still, I couldn’t avoid Petra’s logic. Preventing the Vicomte from becoming the Tsar was more important.
My shoulders slumped. I just sentenced my Sisters to death.
Petra hauled herself up on her pillows. “Did you hear me, Elea? I want your word that you’ll get that t
otem ring.”
“You don’t want me to take in the power, do you?”
“Absolutely not. Who knows what that much magick would do to you? Your spells will be wild at best. No, just get the watch and return to the Zelle. We’ll figure something out.” She exhaled and leaned back into her pillow. “Perhaps we can find some way to redistribute the power. I refuse to believe that the Sire of Souls would allow his people to disappear.”
“I’ll do my best. And thank you for the advice.” My voice sounded anything but thankful, though.
“My plan doesn’t please you?”
“It’s not that. It’s just… I’d so wanted to return to the Zelle with my Sisters from the Midnight Cloister. We had plans, remember? You would train them as you had me. And I’d hoped to find other expert Necromancers as well. If you opened up the deep caves, there would be room for thousands here. The Cloister would be alive again.”
“It’s a fine dream, Elea.”
“I’d even thought that perhaps some of the Fantomes would come along for rehabilitation.”
“This hope of yours isn’t dead. Your Sisters weren’t the only ones with some Necromancer ability, you know. Any young mages you send to me will always be welcome.” A flicker of a smile crossed her mouth. “And if the Fantomes will subject themselves to enough compulsion spells to keep us safe, then they may join us as well. Are any interested?”
“Some might be.” I scrubbed my hands over my face. “It’s nothing I can worry about until I get the totem ring, though. If the Vicomte rises to power, he plans to kill them all. If he doesn’t?” I shook my head. “I have no idea what will happen.”
Petra’s face stayed still as stone. “Focus on what you can control. Get that totem ring. Leave the rest to the Sire of Souls. He watches us, even now.”
“Perhaps.” I’d never told her that I met the Sire of Souls as well as the Lady of Creation. They only seemed concerned about the Tsar. “The gods may have interests, but I’m not sure we’re one of them.” There was no mistaking the bitterness in my voice. I didn’t care.
“Elea.” Petra’s withered voice took on some of its old bite. “Control yourself. Where is the girl I trained?”
I sighed. “A lot has happened since then.”
“You’re still friends with those Casters, aren’t you?” The way she said the word Casters it might as well have been plague.
I couldn’t lie to her. “Yes.”
“Mark my words. There’s a reason Casters and Necromancers exist on separate continents. Our ways of life do not mix.” She shook her head with disappointment, and it felt as if the marrow had seeped out of my bones. “You’ve been sending me bits of written messages and hiding the truth. You can’t do that anymore.” Fierce determination shone through every line in her face. “If you want to claim the totem ring, then you must forget the Casters. Lean into what I taught you. No more acting in a zuchtlos manner.”
Rowan’s words came back to me. He’d once told me that zuchtlos was nothing to be ashamed of. I lifted my chin. “I am my own person, Petra. My friendship with the Casters gives me strength. I wouldn’t have gotten this far without them.” I straightened my spine. “And without one Caster mage in particular. Rowan.”
Petra looked at me as if I were a Novice again, trying for the umpteenth time to do a basic spell and failing miserably. “Be careful, Elea. That’s all I ask. Everything rests on you now.”
I could almost feel the weight of her words settle onto my bones. It took everything I had not to crumple forward and swear never to talk to a Caster again. I couldn’t do that, though. My feelings for Rowan made that impossible.
Instead, I met her gaze straight on and spoke in an unwavering voice. “I know what is expected of me. I won’t fail you.”
Blue smoke instantly filled the room. The spell was over, and I was alone in my dreams once again. I took to wandering through the halls of the Zelle once more, trying to find Ada and Veronique for one last goodbye. They were always just out of reach.
23
My dream ended when a great pounding sounded on my bedroom door. I jammed my pillow over my head. My mind screamed for more sleep.
The pounding only grew louder.
I kept a tight hold on my pillow as I debated whether or not to answer the door. Every muscle in my body ached with fatigue. I needed to rest up if I was to face down the Vicomte tonight. Plus, my head still felt hazy and unsettled after the spell that took me to Petra, too. All the more reason to sleep.
An explosion of cracking wood shattered my thoughts. I sat bolt upright. My broken door lay in pieces on the threadbare carpet. A very red-faced Amelia stood on the threshold, wearing yet another frilly pink gown. Her left hand still glowed blue with power. “Oops. I didn’t know I could do that.”
I blinked hard, trying to focus my sleepy mind. What was she doing here? I glanced at the window. The daylight was brighter now. How long had I been asleep?
“Oh, my,” said Amelia. “We thought you were dead.” She fidgeted with the lacy sleeves of her silk dress, her red hair hanging in perfect ringlets to her shoulders. I swear, I didn’t think it ever occurred to Amelia to leave her mansion in anything less than proper attire for a formal ball.
I rubbed my temples, trying to squeeze some sense into my mind. Amelia couldn’t really be here. It still felt like the middle of the night. Perhaps this was all a lifelike dream. Or could another spell be at work?
“See, Amelia?” Philippe’s voice echoed in from the outer hallway. “I told you that Elea was alive. Those Casters can heal anything.” He popped his head into the opened doorway and his gaze locked onto my chest.
My very bare chest.
Philippe’s mouth stretched into a wide grin. “Elea looks very well, in fact.”
The words snapped me out of my sleepy haze. “Philippe!” I gripped the sheet and quickly covered myself. How could I have forgotten I was half naked?
Amelia shoved her brother into the hallway. “Step back, you dog.”
He complied with a “woof.” Philippe really was a rogue.
Amelia stared at the shattered remains of the door. She shifted her weight from foot to foot. “Apologies for breaking in while you were, uh…”
“Disrobed? Exposed?” A chuckle came from the hallway.
“Quiet, Philippe!” Amelia stared at me, her large eyes pleading. “I’m so sorry. When you left the estate last night, we’d heard that you were ill. Some Caster guards found us. They said you were unwell and that they’d care for you, so we tried not to worry. But then, you didn’t come by the mansion this morning. Both Philippe and I became gravely concerned.”
“I’m no longer concerned!” called Philippe from the hallway. He sounded exceptionally satisfied with himself.
Cheeky bastard.
“Don’t worry, Amelia. You and Philippe are like brother and sister to me. There’s nothing to apologize for.” I motioned to a trunk by the wall. “Would you mind pulling me out something to wear, though?”
“Of course.” Amelia bustled into the room, opened the trunk, and pulled out a simple green shift. “How about this?”
“Perfect.” I quickly pulled on my dress as well as some fresh underthings. I couldn’t help but compare last night with Rowan to this morning with Philippe. When Rowan had seen me naked, my entire body felt on fire. And this morning with Philippe? It was as if my little brother had walked in on me using the privy. Not that I’d ever had a little brother. Even so, now I could imagine the situation with ease. I toed on a pair of slippers and sat down on the bed. “All set.”
Amelia rushed over and situated her ruffled self beside me. Her blue eyes widened with concern. “Are you certain that you’re all right?”
“Perfectly well.” I tried to meet Amelia’s gaze. I couldn’t. My heart tightened in my chest. Amelia’s next question was sure to be about the lost Necromancers. I didn’t look forward to explaining the truth.
I’d just decided to let our friends die.
&
nbsp; “Did you find out anything?” Amelia’s face looked so hopeful. “Any news of Veronique?”
And there it was.
I remembered when I’d first met Amelia. Veronique was her only true friend in the world. In fact, Veronique was the main reason Amelia decided to help me in the first place. And now, I’d uncovered news that would break poor Amelia’s heart. “You’d better come in, Philippe.”
Amelia set her hand on her throat. “Is it bad, then?”
“I’m afraid so.”
Philippe walked in slowly. Any air of playfulness had vanished. He set his hands into the pockets of his breeches, setting back the long lapels of his gray velvet coat. I’d noticed that he often did that when he was worried. “What happened?” He glanced toward the doorway. “Should we go somewhere else to chat?”
“No, we’re fine here. I’ve cast wards against eavesdropping ages ago.” But not against breaking down the door. I’d have to fix that.
Amelia gripped her hands at her waist. “Please tell me what’s happened.”
Tension tightened up my neck and shoulders. Best to make this simple and quick. “There’s nothing we can do to save our friends.”
A heavy silence filled the room. The air suddenly felt too thick to breathe. If there was anything worse than leaving the Necromancers for dead, it was telling Amelia. My Sisters could be alive somewhere with hours left to live. Even so, there was no point in raising Amelia’s hopes in the matter. My responsibilities lay elsewhere now. “It’s time to mourn them, Amelia. We’ve done all we can do.” Every word felt like a knife wound in my chest. How could I abandon them?
Rein in your emotions, Elea. You can’t allow the Vicomte to take your people’s power.
Amelia crumpled to her knees. Her hands covered her mouth as if to hold in a scream. Philippe knelt beside his sister. “I’m so sorry.” With his golden hair, he looked like a visiting angel. “I know how much Veronique meant to you.”
Amelia’s lower lip trembled. A long moment passed before she spoke again. “Everyone I care about leaves me.”
Concealed Special Edition Page 19
