It took a force of will to say the next word. “Yes.”
Rowan stepped up until only an inch separated our bodies. A slow smile rounded his lips. “Now, who’s lying?”
And gods-damn it, he was right.
Still, I watched him saunter through the door, down the outer hallway, and out of my life. As he disappeared down the steps, I gripped the handle of my door so tightly my knuckles flared white.
Goodbye, Rowan. You may not agree, but what was between us has to be over.
Suddenly, every inch of my body felt empty. My eyelids had never felt heavier. I returned to bed, huddled under the sheets, and fell into a deep sleep.
In my dreams, I stepped along the road to Braddock Farm. Every footfall took a life’s age. No matter how quickly I tried to move, I never seemed to move forward. My old life seemed forever out of reach. Still, I wouldn’t give up.
Home was waiting.
I’d be back soon.
32
When I opened my eyes again, pale beams of morning light shifted across my bedroom wall. I pulled back my thin coverlet, padded across the floor, and peeped out the tavern window. The quiet town stretched out below me, a labyrinth of dirt roads flanked by rickety wooden buildings. I let out a relieved breath.
All the Necromancers were gone. They’d followed my orders.
A knock sounded on the bedroom door. “Who is it?” I asked.
“Tsarina, it’s Quinn.”
I gritted my teeth together. He’s still here and calling me Tsarina. That has to stop. I scooped up a small blanket from the bed and wrapped it around my shoulders. “Come in, please.”
The door swung open, and Quinn stepped inside the room. In the morning light, it was even clearer how the markings on his face were actually a part of his skin. What kind of spell had I cast, anyway? I’d been out of my head when it came to me. I won’t be able to access hybrid magick again. All the bone crawlers were gone, so that option was closed. And working to access the hybrid power through Rowan? I wasn’t going near him again if I could ever avoid it. Plus, I didn’t know how to control that power without burning up. I was lucky that Quinn and the others seemed well and healthy.
Quinn spoke, jarring me from my thoughts. “Good morning, Tsarina.”
“Why are you here, Quinn? I asked you to go.”
“I have need of your wisdom. It will only take a minute, Tsarina.”
“Please. Call me by my first name. Elea.”
“As you command, Elea.”
I opened my mouth, ready to argue the fact that I wasn’t commanding anything. But I shut it just as quickly. Let him think whatever he likes. Soon enough, they’ll all be taking orders from Petra and forget all about me. Even as I tried to rationalize this thought, some small part of me screamed that was impossible. My old life was gone. They’d always see me as their maker. Meanwhile, the Necromancers I’d freed saw me as their savior, Ada and Veronique included. I wasn’t sure how I felt about any of that, to be honest.
No point worrying about it now.
“Was there something you needed, Quinn?”
“Yes. There’s been a magickal message. Petra would like you to transport to the Zelle Cloister. She’d like to speak with you.”
“Is there some problem getting everyone to the Zelle?”
“Not to worry. The Fantomes gave us totem rings to transport. They had quite a hoard of them saved up over the years.” His scarred mouth tipped up into a smile. “It seemed you were right that some of them might be worth saving.”
A shiver of worry rolled up my spine. Then why did Petra want me? “The Zelle hasn’t turned my Necromancers away, have they?”
I winced as I realized what I’d said. My Necromancers. By the Sire. I was getting attached to them already.
“Petra is taking everyone in, not to worry.”
Quinn rubbed his chin slowly. I half expected the purple image of a skull and teeth to brush off on his fingertips. “But she’d still like to talk. She asks that you transport directly into her office.”
A request to talk… That was never a good sign from Petra. I pulled my blanket more tightly around my shoulders. “Do you think she’s angry?”
Quinn shrugged. “She’s a Grand Mistress Necromancer. Who can tell how she feels?”
“Of course.” I scrubbed my hand over my face. “I’ll get ready and transport myself there.”
“Are you certain you’re healthy enough?”
“I’ll be fine.”
Quinn stared at me, wide-eyed. “Are you going to use hybrid magick?”
“I drained the last bone crawlers with my spell to raise the dead.” I tilted my head. “Unless you’ve found some?”
It was meant in jest. Quinn’s mouth thinned with worry all the same. “We’ve searched for more of those without success. My deepest apologies, Tsarina.”
I raised my pointer finger, ready to correct Quinn for calling me Tsarina yet again. But I noticed how his shoulders were shaking with worry. When did I become such a frightening character? “Please, don’t fret. That was simply an attempt at humor, Quinn. I don’t know how to use hybrid magick without the bone crawlers.”
“What about teaming with Genesis Rex?”
You mean the liar who’s marrying someone else?
I cleared my throat. “Genesis Rex and I won’t share magick again.” I meant to sound serene, but my words had an edge of anger to them. This conversation wasn’t helping, so I gestured to the door. “I need to get ready for Petra now.”
“As you command.” Quinn left in a blur of movement and purple robes.
Once he was gone, I walked over to my traveling trunk, pulled open the lid, and began searching inside for my Grand Mistress Necromancer robes.
Time to see my Mother Superior.
An hour later, I was leaning against the stone wall of Petra’s study in the Zelle Cloister. My old Mother Superior sat behind her desk, carefully setting quill to paper. With every brushstroke, small poufs of blue dust flew up from her work. Petra didn’t need to ask me to wait quietly. I knew what it was like to get partially done with a casting, only to have it ruined by an interruption.
At last, Petra set down her quill. She looked as she had before, only the lines on her face had deepened, and her hair was now a purer shade of white. Her gaze was sharp as ever, though. Her eyes locked onto mine. “Elea.”
“Mother.”
“You’ve dropped a great many people on my doorstep.” She spoke the words in the classic monotone of a proper Necromancer.
“We discussed this before. You were going to take them all in.”
“And so I have.” She leaned forward, bracing her elbows on her desktop. “But that was before you raised two thousand Necromancers from the dead. They don’t wish my leadership. They crave yours.”
“It’s over for me, Petra. We talked about this before I left to find Ada and the others. Once this quest was done, I’d go back to my old life.” I’d had it with magick. It had brought me nothing but pain and heartache. The more I’d thought about it, the more I wanted my old life back. That meant Braddock Farm.
Petra’s gaze pinned me to the spot. “Amelia is here, you know. She’s watching over Veronique. She suspects some kind of bond between you and Rex.”
The words hurt me more than I thought they would. “I’d like to see her.”
“She’s asked to be kept in seclusion with Veronique.”
“Why?”
“On my suggestion.” Petra’s face stayed emotionless. The woman was a true Necromancer. “I don’t want either of you doing anything rash. You both need time.”
“A wise suggestion, Mother.”
“I cast a seeing spell. I know everything about you and Genesis Rex.”
My back stiffened. “That’s my personal business.”
Petra’s voice took on a hard edge. “Not when thousands of Necromancers see you as their Tsarina, it isn’t. Especially when you asked me to lead them for you.”
I
bowed my head. “You’ve taken on a huge burden for me and our people. Of course, you need to do what you think is best to lead us.”
Petra rose. “I had warned you about emotion, Elea.”
My shoulders slumped. I hated disappointing Petra. “I did my best, Mother.”
“I summoned you here to see if you were ready to lead our people.” Petra slowly stepped closer. “Obviously, that is not the case.”
I sighed. “On that, we agree.”
Petra eyed me slowly from head to toe. “Return to your farm. Take some time. Practice meditation and the routines of the Sire of Souls. I’ll summon you when I’ve need of you.” She shuffle-walked back to her desk and slowly eased herself back into her seat. Her whole body shook with the movement.
My spine straightened. It felt good to be under Petra’s guidance again. The Necromancers would be safe under her care. All I needed was to get back to my farm, and everything could return to normal. “Thank you, Mother.”
Petra picked up her quill and dipped it into her inkwell. “I have only one request before you leave.”
“What is it, Mother?”
“Someone’s waiting for you in the hallway outside. They’d like a word before you go.”
I frowned, picturing the long list of people I’d rather not face right now. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“That may be true.” A wry smile might have curled her lips, but the expression was gone too quickly to be sure. “But if you don’t, Ada will never give me a moment’s peace.”
My heart lightened. That sounded like the old Ada. I couldn’t wait to see her. “You can count on it, Mother.” I sped toward the door and pulled it open.
Ada stood in the outer hallway, flanked by two of the elder Zelle Sisters. The change in her was unbelievable. In just a matter of weeks, her bony frame had begun to fill out, all her welts had healed over to small scars, and a light now shone in her brown eyes.
“Elea!” Ada rushed up and hugged my waistline.
I patted her head and grinned from ear to ear. “It’s so good to see you.”
Ada stepped back and pulled up the sleeve on her Novice robes. A thin rope of muscle popped from her upper arm. “Look how strong I am.”
I set my hand on my throat in an overblown show of amazement. “Oh, my.”
“The Sisters let me climb up the mountain face all day long. And look at this.” She raised her left hand. A pulse of blue light moved across her palm. “I have magick, Elea! Just like you.” She frowned. “Only not exactly like you. You made all those people with their skeleton faces. I can’t do that yet. But I can pull in enough power to be a Novice.” She twirled, showing the fullness of her skirt. “Look, I have new robes now and everything!”
“So you do.” I knelt before her and felt my eyes prickle with tears. This moment. Right now. That’s what I’ve worked for. And it’s all worth it. “I’m very proud of you, Ada.”
She swished her torso from side to side and smiled. “Wulf’s been climbing, too. Even though he’s a boy, they’re letting him sleep by my bed in the Sisters’ dormitory.”
More warmth spread through my chest. I’d forgotten about Ada’s imaginary friend. “Is that so?” I looked over to the pair of Sisters who were glancing with small smiles down at Ada. For traditional Necromancers, that was an overwhelming show of emotion. I was surprised Petra allowed it. “Does other Mother Superior know about this?”
The taller Sister, Mina, spoke first. As she turned to me, a mask of calm settled over her face. “We act on Mother’s orders. She says that Ada needs time to be a child.”
“We’re to spoil her rotten,” added Sister Lorelei.
Ada bounced on the balls of her feet. “The Sisters let me eat whatever I want, climb the mountainside, and if I ask to learn magick, then they teach me!”
“I’m so glad, Ada.”
“Now that you’re the Tsarina, will you stay and teach me, too? I want to be a great mage just like you.”
The Sisters eyed me carefully. No doubt, they knew that Mother Superior had summoned me here to find out if I was ready to stay and lead. I sighed. “I’m going back to my old farm, Ada.”
“But you’re the Tsarina.”
“Mother Superior will lead the Necromancers.”
Ada frowned and bit her thumbnail. “You’ll come back and visit me, right?”
My throat tightened with grief. Ada had been so happy just a moment ago. Now, her bottom lip wobbled. “I’ll try, Ada.”
“But I waited for you. It was awful!”
“I know it was.” My voice cracked. “I worked hard to find you.”
“Now you’re leaving again. It’s because of that man, isn’t it? The one Veronique and Amelia are talking about.”
I hugged my elbows. “I’ve always wanted to return to my farm.” Even as the words left my mouth, they felt hollow. Why did I want to run away from here? That wasn’t me.
“Amelia didn’t leave Veronique once she was found.” Ada’s little hands balled into fists. “She stayed with her because she loves her.”
The implication was clear. I was leaving, so I didn’t care for Ada. “Wherever I am, I’ll always have you in my heart, Ada.”
“You’re mean.” Huge tears lined Ada’s big brown eyes. I felt like a villain for putting them there. “Veronique and Amelia never want to see you again. I don’t either.” She grabbed Mina’s hand and dragged her away. I watched the pair of them go. Part of me wanted to rush after Ada and promise to stay.
I can’t.
Sister Lorelei stood quietly. A long pause followed before she spoke. “You’ve done amazing things, Elea. You shouldn’t feel guilt for wanting some peace.”
I heard her words, yet the meaning couldn’t break through my guilt. All I could focus on was what Ada had told me. “Is it true? Amelia and Veronique are here, only they don’t want to see me?”
“They need time, as well.”
“I understand.” After everything that had happened, it was to return to Braddock. Alone. I’d thought my life was solitary before. Back then, I’d always had Tristan. Now, I’d gained friends, only to lose them all. Despair wrapped around me, tight as a winding sheet.
“I’d better go,” said Lorelei. Walking away, she followed the path that Ada and Mina had taken a moment ago.
The hallway felt cold and empty without Ada. The small hairs prickled on my neck. I hadn’t heard her approach. Even so, Petra now stood by my side. “You’re still rather stealthy in your old age, Mother.”
“Oh, I have a quite a few surprises left in me.” She gave me the smallest of smiles. “You always have a place here, if you should wish it.”
I wanted to soak up this moment, write it in parchment and save it forever. Mostly because it wasn’t true. I looked around the familiar stone hallways with their murals of laughing skeletons. For years, I’d wandered this Cloister. At one time, I’d been the young girl that all the elder Sisters adopted as their favorite. Now, I didn’t belong here.
“Thank you, Petra.”
“Be well, Elea.”
My eyes began to sting with held-in tears. I couldn’t cry in front of Petra. With a quick wave, I took off in search of a good spot to transport. I needed to return to Braddock Farm. That was the place for me. Some small part of my heart said a prayer to the Sire of Souls.
This time, let that be the truth.
33
I hiked up the road leading to Braddock Farm. With every step, my heart beat faster. The trees lining the side of the road were tall and lush. I couldn’t believe how much they’d grown in the last five and a half years.
My steps froze. Five and a half years? Had I really been away that long?
Why, yes I had.
I paused at the top of the hill. Here was my favorite view of the farm, right before dawn was about to break. Once the sun rose, everything in Braddock would be cast in a golden glow. I scanned the sky and frowned.
Gray clouds hung overhead. Not a good sign.<
br />
A rumble sounded behind me. I swung around to see my neighbor, Wyatt, driving toward me. His wagon was the same as I remembered—an open bed that had been painted white, large yellow wheels, and a small bench for the driver. At one time, I thought this transportation was quite fancy. Since then, I’d ridden in Royal covered carriages. Wyatt’s wagon looked very small and plain now. For some reason, that realization made my chest hurt a little.
As Wyatt drove closer, I noticed the other passengers in his cart. Beside him, there sat a slender woman in a simple blue frock. Her long golden hair cascaded over her shoulders. An infant lay swaddled in her arms. The back of the truck held a small child, a boy of no more than three years old. He had yellow curls and large bright eyes. A chilly realization crept through me.
This must be Wyatt’s family. He’d proposed to me shortly before I left for the Cloister. Well, proposed wasn’t exactly the word. Wyatt essentially demanded that I marry him, being that I was a lowly Necromancer and our lands abutted each other. He swore to marry a local girl. I suppose he did.
The sight hurt. Not that I wanted to marry Wyatt—he was too much of a bully for that—but because if I had stayed here, that might have been my life, too. Perhaps I’d have fallen in love with some kind farmer. I might have children now. I could have a life with someone who was actually available to share it with me.
Not like Rowan.
I held back the urge to groan. Why couldn’t I stop thinking about him? Rowan was engaged to someone else.
Wyatt’s gaze met mine. Like every bully, the man could sense when he’d caused pain, and he thrived on it. After stopping his wagon, he swung off the front bench and sauntered over toward me. I wanted to order him to leave, but this was my home now. Wyatt’s land ran beside mine. Things would be easier if I could control my temper and be as pleasant as possible.
Trouble was, my temper was already running hot.
Wyatt came closer, and I could see that he hadn’t changed. The man was still wearing his too-tight pants and an open shirt to expose his chest. I suppose some girls must find that overall look appealing. I glanced at the woman seated on the front bench of the wagon. She must have found it attractive. That or Wyatt blackmailed her. I frowned. I wouldn’t put it past the man.
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