by Angel, Dark
But that’s the thing about love, if you miss it, you can only see it in the rearview mirror.
Will I ever feel something like it ever again?
No, let her go and you won’t ever love anyone in the same way, a small voice inside of me seems to say. And that voice is right, you know? Even when I was young, a true ladies man, I never fell for anyone. Love was nothing more than a comic book fantasy to me, something a marketing department invented to sell chocolates and lingerie.
When I was younger, I was all about the sex, about living fast and hard… I spent my first few years as an adult living the life, and I never found anything that I could point at and say "that’s love."
No, I’m lying… When my father told me stories about my mother, that was love. I can’t forget about the glint in his eyes whenever he started telling me the story about how they met, and how my mother was the most beautiful woman in the world… Even after so many years without her, he still loved her deeply.
But the odds of me finding something like that were astronomical, or so I thought at the time. And so, when I took my vows, I thought I wasn’t leaving anything of importance behind. Sure, I was pushing sex to the curb, but after you’ve gone through as many women as I have, even sex starts to lose its appeal.
Clarise showed me I was wrong. So very wrong.
"Connor?" I hear her voice, and I turn around to see her. She’s standing in the doorway and, even though it’s already night, the moon is still bright enough to make Clarise’s shadow tumble down the aisle.
"You came," I tell her, jumping up to my feet. I was afraid that, after the way I handled things at the cemetery, she’d just shoot me down. It’d be a sad sight, me, all alone in the chapel through the long hours of the night, but I was prepared for it.
"Of course I came, you idiot," she whispers softly, closing the door behind her and walking toward me.
"I wanted to see you one last time," I admit, the words feeling like nails as they climb up my throat. "I needed to see you."
"One last time?" she whispers, and I can feel dread and fear coating each and every word of hers.
"Yes, I’m going back to Rome, Clarise," I reply, and the look on her face is enough to make my heart break into a million little pieces. Whoever said words are mightier than the sword had no idea how right he was. Right now, I’d rather have a broadsword blade sticking out of my chest instead of feeling this… desperate.
"Why, Connor? Just tell me why because I don’t understand. I really don’t."
What can I say? I can’t tell her about Earl without breaking the Donovan family apart, but I can’t lie to her either. Ah, it’s so damn easy to be gung-ho on the truth when the truth is easy; of course, more often than not, being truthful is probably one of the hardest things a human being can do.
But I’m not perfect, and I don’t want to break her heart more than I need to. And so I just settle for a half-truth.
"It’s … it’s complicated. And I’m sorry for what I said before. I didn’t mean it. What happened between us was everything but a fantasy. It was real, more real than anything else."
"Then how --" she starts to say, but just like how she did many times before, I rest my index finger over her lips and make her quiet down.
"I stand by what I said. I’m sorry, but no good will ever come out of a relationship between the two of us," I whisper, slowly taking my finger off of her lips. Turning on my heels, I then look at the altar, the cross hanging overhead like an ominous reminder that all good things eventually must come to an end.
"But I’ve never felt better than when I’m with you," she tells me softly, brushing her fingers against the back of my hand before grabbing it tightly. "This feels right," she continues, holding my hand in hers. "I’ve never felt so alive, Connor, and I know you must feel the same…"
"I feel the same. But it’s wrong. It’s just so wrong," I tell her, that heavy sadness taking over me once more. I haven’t felt this bad since my father’s funeral.
"But how can something so wrong feel this good?" she whispers gently, cracking a smile as she goes on tip-toes. Then, she brushes her lips against mine and I simply come undone.
"I love you, Clarise… And I want you, even if it’s one last time," I whisper, barbed wire wrapping itself tightly around my aching heart.
"Sop saying that. Stop talking… Just… Just be here. Be here right now. Can you do that?"
"I can do that," I tell her with a smile, and then I lean in to kiss her.
Clarise
Surrendering to his embrace, I part my lips and kiss him eagerly. If this really is the last time we’re going to be together, I don’t want to waste one single second… No, I want to seize the moment and squeeze it for all it’s worth.
"Take it off… Take it off," I tell him, breathing harder and harder as I grab the fabric of his shirt. Loosening his tie, I then start unbuttoning his shirt, my fingers moving fast as a kind of lustful desperation takes over me. Pulling the shirt out from his pants, I then press the palm of my hands against his walls of abs, feeling their contour under my fingers as my pussy starts growing wet.
"Clarise…" Connor whispers as his shirt slides down his arms to the floor. With one hand on the nape of my neck, he tangles his fingers in my hair and holds me still; leaning into me once, he brushes his lips against mine. We kiss hungrily, our tongues slow dancing around one another as I press my body against his.
I feel his cock hardening inside his pants, its bulging shape brushing against my inner thigh and helping me become even wetter. Ah, if we were already naked, I’d just grab his cock and guide it home…
"I want you… I need you," I pant as I move my fingers down to his belt, unbuckling it in a hurry. Pulling it from its loops, I then open the top button on his pants and push the zipper down. His cock strains against the fabric of his boxer briefs, and I feel a shiver going up my spine as my knuckles brush against that throbbing thickness of his.
I can’t even begin to imagine how life will be once Connor disappears from it… Nothing will ever be the same. Sex will never be this good again, and I’m sure that I’ll never feel what I do with him as well. There’s just something unique whenever the two of us are together. It’s in the way our bodies work, in the way our minds seem to expand and contract at the same time… Ah, if this isn’t love, I don’t know what it is.
Hooking my fingers on the fabric of his boxer briefs, I send them down his legs with his pants. Falling to my knees at the same time, I look up at Connor, the shadow of his cock tumbling over my face.
"Will you remember my mouth?" I ask him as I curl my fingers around his shaft, slowly flicking my wrist and moving my hand back and forth over the length of his cock. As I stroke him, I lean into him at the same time, slowly parting my lips as I reach for the tip of his huge member.
"I will never forget anything about you," he breathes out, laying his hands on my head and running his big fingers through my hair. Parting my lips, I reach for the tip of his cock with my tongue, and make it dance over it slowly, scooping up the salty beads of pre-cum glistening there.
"If things had been different," he continues, but then falls into a deep silence as I roll my lips down his shaft. Moving slowly, but steadily, I devour his long inches, only stopping when I feel the tip of his cock throbbing against the back of my throat. I take one hand to his balls and, opening my fingers wide, I start massaging them as my lips move back over his shaft.
Closing my eyes, I bob my head back and forth, building up a steady rhythm. I hear his breathing grow shallow, the pressure of his fingers on my head growing stronger, and that just urges me to go even faster. Ditching whatever rhythm I was building, I start bobbing my head as fast as I can, the erratic motion of my mouth making him lose all control.
"Fuck, Clarise," he groans, yanking on my hair and forcing me stop. He takes a deep breath and then moves his hips, thrusting his cock into me and sending it deep into my mouth. I hold still as he starts fucking my mouth, pistoni
ng it into me as if he were doing it to my pussy.
We remain like that until I feel the first spasm of his cock over my tongue; he stops his thrusting motion, and he’s about to slide his cock out of my mouth when I make him stop. Following after him with my mouth, I curl my fingers around its root and force him to stand still.
This time I don’t want to stop. No, I want to go all the way.
"Fuck, what are you doing?" he asks me between ragged breaths, but he makes no effort to stop me. He lets me keep on sucking him, and that’s exactly what I do; I suck him as hard as I can, using both my lips and tongue to unleash hell on his cock. "Clarise, I’m going to cum!" he warns me but, instead of making me stop, that just spurs me on.
A few more motions of my head and his cock starts spasming against my tongue, threatening to unleash a raging river of cum inside my mouth, which is exactly what I want.
"Fuck!" Connor groans, and then his cock starts gushing his load into me. His creamy seed spills all over my tongue, filling my mouth to the brim, and then it starts dripping out of my mouth and down his shaft. Thick beads of semen fall down on the floor, splattering against it like heavy rain.
Waiting for him to finish, I then roll my lips back and look up at him. Opening my mouth to show him the mess he unleashed upon my tongue, I then close it again and swallow, his saltiness burning its way down my throat. "That was good," I whisper, slowly forcing myself to go back up to my feet. "And it’s going to get better."
With that, I brush my cum-coated lips against his, keeping one hand on his cock. Even though he just came, I keep moving my hand back and forth, stroking him and making sure he keeps hard and ready for me. What? You didn’t think that I’d be satisfied with just blowing him, did you? If this really is our last time together, you can rest assured that I won’t be satisfied until he has fucked the living daylights out of me.
"Better sounds good," he whispers, kissing me deeply, his tongue dancing around mine. As he does it, he takes his hands to my back and starts pulling down the zipper on my dress, baring my back. When his hands move over my shoulder blades, he takes the opportunity to open the clasp of my bra as well; by the time my dress is bunched up around my waist, I can already feel the cups of my bra drooping down my breasts.
Moving fast, he grabs the front of my bra and simply yanks it off of me, my nipples hardening even more as they become free. With his hands on my waist, Connor pushes me back until the back of my knees meet one of the pews, and he pushes me down.
As I sit, he goes down to his knees fast, placing his hands on my knees and forcing me to spread my legs. Leaning in, he wraps his lips around my right nipple and starts sucking on it, his tongue running fast, vicious circles around my rosy tip. Going from one nipple to the other, it doesn’t take him long to allow his tongue to start a downward path to my navel. I sigh heavily as I feel his tongue going down my naked skin, and I raise my ass from the seat as he grabs my dress, pulling it down my legs and taking it off me.
When I sit back down again, I’m only wearing my black lace thong and high heels; I almost think he’s going to take off my thong as well, but that’s not what he does. Keeping my legs spread wide, he pulls back from me and then dives in, opening his mouth and crushing it against the wet fabric of my thong. He sucks on it eagerly, doing it so hard that I feel my head spin. He does it for a long time, teasing me over my thong, and then just flicks my thong to the side. Instead of going straight to my pussy, though, he takes a more indirect course of action.
Resting the tip of his tongue over one of my groins, he starts brushing his tongue around my pussy, never actually going for it. I squirm, trying to thrust upward and force his mouth into my pussy, but he moves fast and places one forearm over my waist, pinning me down on the seat.
"Oh, please, Connor," I beg him, closing my eyes and moaning hard. He doesn’t seem to care for my pleas, as he continues to do the same, teasing me mercilessly. Only when I think that he’s going to keep doing it eternally does he change gears.
Pulling back for just a second, he pulls my thong against my outer thigh and rips it off of me, tearing the fabric into shreds. There goes another one of my expensive thongs; I swear to God, ever since Connor moved into the guest house, I’ve been spending a lot of money on underwear.
"I’m going to miss this," he says, and then he’s on me. Wrapping his lips around my clit, he presses down on it with his tongue. Then he brushes his lips down, taking them to my pussy lips; tilting his head sideways, he sucks both my folds into his mouth at the same time, flicking his tongue against them as he sucks.
Running my fingers through his hair, I start swaying my hips, thrusting against his mouth as he devours me. This time he doesn’t stop me; instead, he places his hands under my ass cheeks and spurs me on, his fingers digging into the flesh of my ass.
"Oh, you’re so good…" I moan, moving my body as I start to lose control. Eating me out like a man on a mission, he allows his fingers to roam closer to my asshole, and then he brushes one fingertip up and down the length of my crack.
Finally pressing down on my hole, he starts sliding his index finger into my ass, sucking my pussy even harder as he does it. I feel my eyes rolling in their orbits, pleasure making my whole body tense up, and even my lungs seem to be working overtime to get the air in.
Oh, I’m so close… But Connor still has one trick up his sleeve.
Using his free hand, he places two fingers against my pussy; moving his mouth up to my clit, he then slides his fingers deep inside my pussy, curling them upward and driving them straight to my G-spot.
I gasp, the muscles around my neck tensing up as I try to process what he’s doing to me. With one finger inside my ass, two inside my pussy, and his mouth wrapped around my clit… Jesus Christ, I don’t even know which sensation I should focus on! All I know is that it’s only a matter of time until I explode and, when I do it, I don’t know if I’ll be able to remain conscious. The incoming wave of pleasure feels like a tidal wave, and it’s sure as hell going to sweep me off my feet.
"Oh, I’m gonna—oh, fuck!" I exhale sharply, yanking hard on his hair as an orgasm hits me at point blank. Even though my eyes are open, I stop seeing altogether for a few seconds, my brain devoting all of its processing power to decode all of the ecstasy running through me.
"That’s right, babe … feels good, doesn’t it?" he asks, pulling his fingers out of me and looking me in the eye.
"It feels better than good…" I breathe out, my mind commanding me to get up. Going up to my feet, I bend over and place my arms on his shoulders. I push him down, forcing him to lie down on the ground, and then I place my feet on either side of his thighs. "Now let’s both enjoy it," I tell him with a grin, looking back at him over my shoulder. Lowering myself, I press my pussy against his face as I bend over, grabbing his cock and pointing it straight at my mouth.
Without a moment’s hesitation, Connor goes back to licking and sucking, and I follow his lead. I open my mouth as wide as I can and take his whole cock into my mouth, only stopping when I have my lips firmly pressed against the skin at its root. Then, bobbing my head up and down, I try and match the rhythm with which he’s sucking on me. It’s harder done than said, though; I lose control with each passing second, another explosion of pleasure already looming on the horizon, and it’s almost impossible to keep my movements steady. Not that it matters, anyway. Sex isn’t about being steady.
Rubbing my pussy against his face, I ride his mouth until I simply can’t do it a second longer. Popping his cock out of my mouth, I grit my teeth and hiss through them, my body tensing up as I feel the first punch of an orgasm.
Sitting up on his face, I then let all that pleasure overtake me. I grab my breasts as I come, grinning to myself as I imagine my creamy fluids dripping down Connor’s chin. Ah, who knew that sitting on a man’s face could be this good? Maybe it’s because I’m doing it with a holy man in a holy place, but hell it feels amazing.
"Now I want the main course,"
I order him as I roll to the side, sitting on the floor and opening my legs so that I’m offering him a nice view of my aching pussy.
"You and my cock," he tells me, going up to his knees in a hurry, his chin glistening from my juices, just like I imagined. Grabbing his cock firmly, he then closes in on me and pushes me down on the floor, forcing me to lie there.
Slapping his cock against my pussy, he then presses his body against mine, my breasts mashed against his chest. I lace his neck with one arm, pulling him into me, and open my mouth to kiss him.
As soon as our lips connect, Connor doesn’t waste a second, he simply thrusts, doing it as hard as he can. His thickness pushes my inner walls back as it struggles to go all the way in, and I almost stop breathing as I feel the tip of his cock bumping against that hidden spot of pleasure inside of me.
"I’m going to miss this cock," I tell him, pulling back from our kiss and looking into his eyes.
"Then I better give you something to remember," he replies, softly thrusting and never taking his eyes off mine.
"Give me something I can dream of," I whisper, keeping eye contact as I feel his cock sliding in and out of me." Give me something I can think of whenever I’m alone…"
"I’ll give you more than that," he replies gently, kissing me with a kind of tenderness that makes my heart melt. Then, faithful to his words, he starts rocking his hips against mine at a growing tempo, his heavy balls slapping against my pussy each time he goes in.
Before I know it, he’s ravaging me so hard that I can barely feel anything. It’s as if my brain has vanished from inside my skull. Even my nerve endings seem to have disappeared from my body… Of course, this only happens for a couple of seconds; the moment I regain my capacity to feel, the pleasure hits me so fiercely that I almost burst from the inside out. Throwing my head back, I bump it against the floor and let out one mighty scream. My voice is so violent and furious that I don’t even sound like a woman anymore; no, I must sound like a banshee, one straight out of those mythological stories.
