“Mm-hmm. Okay.” Her friend patted the top of her head the way she would’ve done to a child. “I’ll give you two lovebirds a minute. I need to go check on the booze anyway.” Just as Dev arrived, Darla slipped away.
“Hey.” Charity gave him a cool look lest he get any ideas about kissing her or discussing her sister. Those two things were currently off-limits.
“Hey.” His eyes swept over her. “You look incredible.”
That kind of talk would make it more difficult to avoid any kissing. Once again, she became ultra-aware of the elastic band cinching her waist, but she resisted the urge to tug. “I feel ridiculous in this dress. I can’t believe Darla talked me into wearing it.”
Dev stared steadily into her eyes, the corners of his lips twitching like he was holding back a smile. “I’m serious, Charity. You look beautiful.”
If anyone else had said that to her, she’d deflect the compliment with a joke, but Dev wasn’t giving her a pickup line. He meant it. She could see it in the way he stared at her with an honest sincerity. He looked at her like that a lot, completely open and unfazed by the magnetism between them.
She, however, did happen to be fazed. She didn’t do this—dress up and do her hair and wear makeup. And she sure as heck didn’t swoon over cowboys. She might feel something for Dev, but she’d been fine on her own since she was old enough to make a grilled cheese sandwich, and that wasn’t gonna change now. She didn’t need him. She didn’t need him being all sweet to her and helping her and getting all up in her business. Most of all, she didn’t need him doing his cop thing with her sister—speculating, surmising, conjecturing.
Dev turned to face her, dialing up the heat between them by about 500 degrees. “Do you want to dance?”
Couples had gathered over near the DJ and were holding each other close, swaying to some love song that would’ve made her turn the station if it played on the radio in her truck. Her gaze landed on Mateo and Everly, who had their foreheads pressed intimately together. They were both smiling as they whispered back and forth—their faces and bodies and hearts so perfectly in sync. Longing expanded in her chest, encroaching on her heart. For only a second she let herself imagine it was possible for her to dance with someone like that. Someone she relied on. Someone she obviously loved. But the fear of not being loved back overpowered the fantasy.
“I don’t feel like dancing.” She reached for the steel metal tub that sat nearby and pulled out a beer, using the edge of the bar top to pop the lid before taking a long pull. If she ignored him long enough, maybe Dev would disappear.
He leaned in next to her. “Are you afraid to dance with me?”
That stood her up straighter. “I’m sorry, what?”
Dev looked around. “Pretty much everyone in this room is dancing except for you and me. Even Ty and Darla.”
Charity glanced in their direction. “So? Darla loves to dance. She’ll probably dance with every man here tonight.” She pulled out a stool and sat down before taking another sip of her beer.
“Okay.” Dev pulled out the stool next to her. “Then we can talk instead. Have you found your sister yet?”
She eyed him. “I’m not going to talk about Melody with you.” She didn’t need his opinions on the situation. “I don’t even want to think about her. Okay? Please? I’ve got enough to worry about with Bodie right now.” And she definitely didn’t want to argue with Dev again. Not tonight. Not when they were supposed to be having fun.
“Fine.” Something shadowed his face, but it was gone before she could pinpoint the expression. “We can talk about other things.”
“What other things?”
The deputy dropped his gaze to her lips. “Things like that kiss.”
Heat descended deep into her chest and surrounded her heart, making it pump harder. More beer. She needed more beer. Taking her time with another sip, she attempted to pull herself together. “I thought you said it was inappropriate.”
A slow smile got a hold of Dev’s wise, captivating eyes. “And I distinctly remember you saying you weren’t totally opposed to inappropriate.”
She couldn’t be held responsible for what she’d said in that one wild moment.
“I liked kissing you, Charity.”
This was new for her. The honest, direct approach. Usually men delivered clichéd lines she’d heard repeatedly on the circuit, but not Dev. He didn’t try anything fancy. He went right for what he wanted.
“It was a fine kiss.” She bluffed with a one-shouldered shrug.
“Fine?” He leaned in as though threatening to reenact it right then and there.
Knowing she wouldn’t be able to resist if he went for it, Charity inched away. “Okay. It was better than average.”
Dev laughed. “You can’t admit you liked it.”
That would be admitting she liked him. And she couldn’t. Like him or admit it. She had to keep him out of her heart. It was easier. “Fine. I liked the kiss, but I’m not interested in pursuing it further. We’re friends and that’s all I want right now.” So there. Wasn’t much a guy could do if you friend-zoned him.
“Then it shouldn’t be a big deal for you to dance with me.” There was a challenge in his tone. Dev stood and pushed in his stool. “As long as we’re friends. As long as you’re not worried about falling for me.”
The insinuation that she might be worried about it stoked her temper. “I’m not worried at all.” To prove it, she stood up too. “So sure. Why not? Let’s dance. Just don’t complain when I step on your toes. When I said I didn’t feel like dancing, what I really meant was I’m a terrible dancer.” But it was on now. He’d asked for it.
“You don’t have to be good at it. You just have to trust me. I’ll make you look good.” He tugged on her elbow, and she leaned into him, navigating the uneven floor in her heels.
Dev faced her and slipped his hand onto the curve of her hip. “Follow my lead.” He clasped her hand in his and swayed her to the seductive rhythm of the music. It flowed softly through her, warm and captivating. Dev was right. He did seem to make her look good. He held her firmly, urging her body to move with his. The touch soothed the fight in her, softening all of her rough edges. Somehow the way he touched her made her feel beautiful and graceful instead of inept and awkward. The sudden vulnerability it brought tempted her to go back to her beer, but she couldn’t wimp out now or he’d know how she felt about him.
“How’s your nephew doing?” he asked the way a friend would. Friend. Charity inhaled and held her breath. They were only friends. She could do this, even if her face felt hot enough to boil water.
She focused on keeping her hand steady in his. “I’m not sure how to answer that. He doesn’t say much.”
Dev guided her hips into a turn. “It’s tough feeling like the one person who’s supposed to want you the most doesn’t want you at all.”
The words stirred her own suppressed memories, kicking them back up to the forefront of her mind. No one had wanted her. Not her mother, not the father she’d never known. “Is that how you felt before you got adopted?”
“Oh yeah. I remember wondering what I did wrong. I even told my social worker that I would be a better kid if my mom took me back.”
Charity stopped moving. “It wasn’t something you did.”
“That’s what everyone told me, but I didn’t believe them.” Dev urged her back into the dance. “All I knew was that she’d left me behind. I figured there had to be a reason.”
“I worry that’s how Bodie feels too.” That no one wanted him. It was the same way she’d felt when her mom took off or when one of her boyfriends made a pass at Charity and her mom did nothing to protect her.
“My offer still stands.” Dev squeezed her hand a bit harder. “I’m happy to talk to him. Or to spend some time with him if you think it would help.”
“Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.” She gazed up into his eyes. Oops. Big mistake. They were magic, those eyes. They had the power to silence her goo
d judgment and get her into a lot of trouble. She steered her gaze over his shoulder instead. “How did you get past it? Feeling abandoned?”
He didn’t answer right away. In fact, he waited until she looked at him. “I’m not sure you do. I guess you learn to live with something missing from your life, knowing you’ll find something better along the way.”
His eyes had trapped her and now she couldn’t seem to look away. “Knowing you’ll find something better?” she asked quietly. “Or hoping?” She’d given up on both, filling the holes in her heart with riding and competing instead of close relationships. Those two things had always been enough, but something about being held by Dev, something about the openness in his demeanor, made her long for more.
“I like to think hoping and knowing are the same thing.” He drew her in closer and slipped one arm fully around her.
“I don’t think this is how friends are supposed to dance,” Charity whispered with a smirk, but she didn’t back away. For once she didn’t want to. It felt good to be held, to be close to someone, and Dev seemed so safe.
“Oops.” His grin flared. “You make it really hard for me to remember we’re only friends.”
She was having the same problem. “It’s hard to remember the rules when we’re both dressed up in costumes. It’s almost like we’re two different people.” She let herself fantasize that she was a different person. That she was capable of giving her heart to someone.
“That’s true,” Dev mused. “So if I kissed you again, it wouldn’t be like Dev kissing Charity. It would be like two strangers who’d met in one of those secret prohibition-era bars.”
Desire snaked up through her abdomen, coiling tighter and tighter. “Exactly.” She clasped her hands behind his neck.
Dev abruptly changed their direction, dancing her closer to the small hallway behind the bar.
“Where are we going?” Before that sentence, she hadn’t known she was capable of a husky drawl, but Dev had that effect on her. With him, she was likely capable of a lot of spontaneous wild things she’d never even considered.
“We’re going somewhere quieter.” In the dimness of the hallway he paused and gazed down into her eyes with a heart-stopping stare. “I can’t stop thinking about how your lips tasted.”
“I liked it,” she confessed, inching her face closer to his. “You’re a good kisser, Dev.” A good kisser. A good man. A good cop.
“You sure about that?” He teased her with a brush of his lips. “Because earlier you said it was okay.”
“It was better than okay.” His lips were so close, but not touching hers, not bringing that rush of heat and desire she craved. “Fine. It was the hottest kiss I’ve ever had. And I want you to do it again.”
“You want me to do what, Charity?” he teased.
“I want you to kiss me.” There was something freeing about admitting it, about knowing he wanted it as much as she did.
Dev’s thumb skimmed her lower lip as he studied her face before lowering his mouth to hers. Sparks flashed through her, gaining heat and momentum, bringing her hands to his shoulders, sliding them down his back so she could press his body to hers.
“Charity?” Naomi’s voice broke her concentration.
She backed up a step, spotting her friend at the other end of the hallway. “Yeah?”
“Oh, there you are.” She rushed over but slowed when she saw Dev against the wall. “I’m so sorry to interrupt. So, so, so sorry,” she said looking back and forth between them. “But I just got a call from Luis. He said Bodie’s not feeling well.”
“Oh my god.” Bodie. He was sick? And she’d left him with people he didn’t even know very well…
“It doesn’t sound serious, but I thought I should let you know,” Naomi said. “I was going to leave soon anyway, so I can always check on him and give you an update if you want.”
“No. I have to go pick him up.” She never should’ve come anyway. Not when she had a thirteen-year-old kid to take care of.
“I’m so sorry,” Naomi said again, this time directing the apology to Dev. “I’m guessing that was bad timing.”
Or perfect timing, depending on how you looked at it. She’d gotten all wrapped up in the man again. Dev tempted her to do things she didn’t do. He made her feel like someone else. Someone she could never be.
And there were plenty of other reasons she had to steer clear. There was his whole position on the situation with Melody. Somehow she’d forgotten she was still mad at him about how quickly he’d jumped to conclusions. And yet she’d almost made out with him in the middle of her friend’s birthday party where anyone could’ve seen. God, the rumors that would fly around about them…she didn’t even want to think about what would happen if it got back to the guys on the circuit. News like that would completely torch her reputation as a respectable competitor. She’d spent years proving herself and setting boundaries, but one racy public display of affection like that and she’d have to start all over. No matter that the men got away with it all the time.
“Come on, I’ll walk you out.” Dev went to slip his arm around Charity’s waist but she darted away before he could touch her again.
“It’s fine. I can walk out myself.” She hurried to the coatrack near the door and snatched her purse.
“Maybe we could go out sometime.” Dev followed behind her. “Pick up where we left off.”
That was a bad idea. “Things are complicated right now. Bodie needs me around. I shouldn’t have left him tonight.” She rushed outside and down the block to where she’d parked her rental truck and climbed in.
Dev stayed on her heels the whole way and moved in before she could pull the door closed. “You still have to live your life.”
She had been living her life. She’d been living it just fine before Bodie came, before Dev had kissed her. Everything had been nice and easy, because she’d been in control of making it that way. But now nothing seemed in her control. She couldn’t control what happened with Bodie. She couldn’t control the emotions and desires Dev teased out in her, and yet she couldn’t give in to them either. She’d never given in. “Please, Dev. I need you to leave me alone. I can’t add anything else to my life right now.” Especially not a cowboy deputy who made her wish she were someone else.
Chapter Eight
Apparently Dev’s eyes weren’t the only part of him with magical powers. His lips had put a spell on her too. Her heart still pounded hard and her legs were shaky.
What was wrong with her? She’d never had a problem keeping boundaries before, but with Dev it seemed impossible. He looked at her differently—touched her differently—in a way that made her feel like something was missing. When it came to men, she’d always used her head, but Dev managed to reach straight for her heart. The problem was he’d never be able to grasp that whole part of her because her heart was already in pieces. There were too many fragments to pick up, to put back together. She didn’t know where to start.
Charity maneuvered one hand on the truck’s steering wheel while she pulled off her shoes and yanked on the fishnet tights with the other, struggling to slide them down one leg and then pulling her foot off the gas for a second so she could take them off, as if shedding the costume would somehow make her forget how she felt nestled in Dev’s arms. Whole and safe. Hopeful. Tears burned as she balled up the tights and tossed them into the back of her extended cab.
She had to forget Dev. She had to stop getting sucked into the fantasy world that man created. She didn’t belong in dresses or heels. She didn’t belong kissing dashing police officers. She was a cowgirl—a good one—and that was enough.
Charity went a good fifteen miles per hour over the speed limit all the way to Luis and Evie Cortez’s humble log house on the Cortez family ranch. Though they were nearly seventy, the two were newlyweds, and happened to be the most adorable older married couple Charity had ever seen. They were both friendly and easygoing, which was the only reason she’d even considered leaving Bodie the
re. She knew they’d welcome him like one of their own grandchildren, but now she regretted leaving him at all. Instead of getting carried away with Dev, she had to focus on Bodie. That was a situation she could actually do something about. She could help him. Right now that needed to be her sole focus.
After shoving her feet back into the dreaded heels, she scrambled out of the truck, wobbled her way up to the door, and knocked.
“Charity!” Evie let her in and stole a quick hug. “My goodness, you look like you just walked out of a movie.” She appraised Charity’s attire. “How was the party? I’m so sorry you had to leave early. I really do think Bodie is fine, but when I mentioned his headache to Naomi she thought it was best to tell you.”
“It’s no problem at all.” Truthfully, she was thankful to get away from all those emotions Dev had stirred up. “I’m so glad you called Naomi. I was ready to go anyway.” She followed Evie into the living room.
“Wowzers!” Gracie popped off the couch, where she had been sitting next to Bodie. “That dress is killer.” The girl stared at her in awe. “Did you dance? I bet you danced with Dev!”
Bodie’s expression went from subdued to stony.
Charity did her best to play down the accusation. “Why would you say that?”
“Because of that night at the Tumble Inn,” the girl bubbled. “And because he’s superhot. Especially when he wears his uniform. Don’t you think?”
“Oh, I don’t know. He’s okay, I suppose.” She turned to Bodie before anyone could get a good look at her face. “How are you? Feeling better?”
“I only had a headache,” he muttered, as though the attention embarrassed him. “You didn’t have to leave early.”
Colorado Cowboy Page 8
