by Rosie Scott
“Battle? What battle?” Altan's eyes were on me as I surveyed the scene ahead. The few Hammerton soldiers still in view had dropped their weapons. Many of them were watching Tyrus burn. Just meters away, Heartha's body was still, her helmet dented beyond repair. “You've just bested Olympia's pride and joy,” Altan continued, speaking of Tyrus. “The battle is over.”
A wave of relief washed over me as I realized he was right. The remaining dwarven soldiers had surrendered. Weeks and weeks worth of planning, traveling, and infiltrating had finally paid off.
I raised my eyes into the sky, where the fires scattered around the city were spreading its glow. Olympia was taken, but soon word would spread through Hammerton of our invasion. It was only a matter of time before they retaliated.
Twenty-one
A yellow-orange glow brightened up the ocean to the east as another day approached. The growing sunlight highlighted the war-torn city of Olympia, calling attention to bodies and broken architecture. Every muscle in my body still ached from the long battle, and with the leeching high having faded during the night as I helped to clean up the battlefield, I longed for sleep.
For now, I went to check up on Calder. I hadn't seen him since he'd started his rampage the previous day, and I still worried about how the high had affected him. Maggie informed me that he'd spent the entire battle fending the dwarves off from the docks, so we headed to Olympia's harbor.
Calder stood completely nude on the battleship he'd spent his trip on, scratching at his bald head and looking perplexed. Uriel was going through crates of supplies nearby. The Renegades and I hurried through the battleship's open door to the quarterdeck to be near them.
Calder turned to face us as he heard our approach, and he smiled at me, happy to see me since our parting in Monte half a moon ago. “Hello, love. Glad to see you all made it relatively unscathed.”
“Glad to see that beaut is exactly as I left it,” Nyx piped up. When Calder raised an eyebrow in question, Nyx simply pointed to his crotch.
Calder chuckled roughly. “You know I'm a generous guy, love. Ask anytime, and it's yours.”
Uriel laughed from where he went through crates and turned to face us. “The Alderi never cease to amaze me. All of us are exhausted from battle, yet all you can talk about is sex.”
“Have you seen this?” Calder retorted playfully, motioning to himself.
“Yes, Calder,” Uriel replied with a chuckle. “It's really difficult to miss it, as a matter of fact.”
Calder shrugged with a grin. “Then you get why that's all we want to talk about.”
Uriel hesitated, tilted his head, and asked, “Are you into men?”
Calder smiled knowingly at that. “I'm a woman lover, Uriel. I apologize.”
As Uriel shrugged, I told him, “It was worth a shot.” He chuckled and went back to scavenging through crates.
“What are you searching for?” Cerin asked.
“His extra clothes,” Uriel replied, jerking a thumb back to Calder.
“Why would you want them?” I asked Calder. “Just go walking nude through Hammerton and see if that has the ability to achieve world peace.”
He laughed at my jest. “I want them because that sun over there is going to be hell on my skin in a matter of minutes.”
Maggie burst into giggles a few feet away, and we all turned to look at her with confusion. “Your crate of clothes is in the kitchen below deck, love,” she informed him.
Calder raised an eyebrow at her. “Why?”
“Because I put it there.” Maggie wiggled her thick eyebrows at him. “I like ya better like this.”
Nyx raised a hand up to Maggie, and the engineer gave her a high-five. Calder rolled his eyes at the two women and started his journey below deck. I followed him.
“Should I ask what that was about?” Cerin pondered aloud beside me.
“Probably not,” Calder replied, jogging down the steps and making a turn toward the sleeping quarters. Across the deck of the ship was the kitchen and supply rooms, so he headed there. “Maggie pulled all sorts of pranks on me throughout the trip here. I probably would've thrown her overboard if I could lift her.”
“Do you want me to talk to her?” I asked him, noticing that Nyx and Maggie had stayed behind on deck.
Calder glanced back behind him as he shoved his shoulder into the wooden door leading to the ship's kitchen to open it. “No, love. She's a bundle of joy. Kept me entertained on that long trip.”
“Tell me about it,” I requested, as he pulled the lid up on a crate in the corner of the room. He breathed a sigh of relief when it was full of his extra clothes.
“The trip?” Calder asked for clarification, pulling out a new shirt and slacks.
“Yes. Azazel and I had just reached the city when Olympia sounded the alarm,” I informed him. “We saw beast corpses and a damaged dwarven galleon, so I know you were in battle on the seas.”
Calder nodded as he pulled his new pants up around his legs, hopping up and down as he tugged. “We ran across some scouts. They sent out a handful of them at once. We wanted to destroy them all for obvious reasons, but they knew our navy was as large as it was from their distance, so they just tried to go back to warn the city. I sent some flying beastmen after them since most of the mages couldn't reach the ships with their magic.” He hesitated to grab a shirt, and then continued, “I did all I could, Kai. Was cursing at myself when I saw that galleon escape.”
I frowned. “Don't think that it's your fault, Calder. You managed to get all but one of them. We took care of the rest.”
“Hell yes you did,” Calder pulled the new shirt on, and when his head popped through the neck hole of it, he was grinning. “Tell me how you managed to do that, love. We arrived to shore thinking we'd have a huge naval battle on our hands, but most of the ships were sunk.”
“The defensive cannons,” I replied, motioning through the ship's hull to the eastern coast. “Instead of disabling them, I used them.”
Calder reached over to me, scrunching my hair up with one hand playfully. “I love the way this works,” he said.
“What?”
“That brain of yours, love.” He winked at me before shoving his feet in the worn boots that sat against the crate.
“Yeah, well, I'm scared of the way yours works.”
Calder laughed. When he saw I was serious, he sobered. “What did I do?”
Azazel huffed with amusement at his wording.
“You used two enervat spells at once and then went berserk,” I replied. “I thought you were trying to kill yourself when you jumped off your ship.”
“Yes. Enervat,” Calder mused, leaning back against a kitchen table and crossing his arms. He gave me a playful accusatory look. “The spell you taught me.”
“I'm not scolding you for using it. I'm scolding you for using two of the spells at once. I told you how powerful it was.”
“You did,” Calder agreed. “I used two of the spells because I only have that many hands. I've seen you under leeching's influence, love. I know how you get. Many battles have been won because of the power it gives you.”
“You don't have to let the power control you,” Azazel said beside me. “Leeching highs alone cannot win battles. It takes power, motivation, and thoughtful strategy.”
Calder lifted an eyebrow up at Azazel. “And what makes you think I was some mindless husk for this power to run rampant in? I knew what I was doing. If anything, I felt like I had more control of myself than ever before.”
I held a hand out before Azazel's chest, drawing Calder's gaze to me. “Azazel is only mirroring my own concerns. I'm the one who had them to begin with. You're right. Leeching gives me immense strength and power but combined with my lust for vengeance, that can lead to devastating results. I've lost control many times, Cal, and so have you.”
“Seems to me that every time you've lost control you've made progress,” Calder replied. “Your rage after Ricco's death years ago helped to ch
ange the tide of Hazarmaveth's takeover. You said it was your rage over the deaths of Jakan and Anto which won the Battle of Highland Pass. If you hadn't won that battle, Eteri would be overrun with Icilic about now, so it's a damn good thing that you lost control if you ask me.”
I hesitated to respond, mostly because Calder was right and I couldn't claim otherwise. Every time I'd let the high overwhelm me, I'd been victorious. Hazarmaveth, the destruction of Narangar's harbor, and the Battle of Highland Pass. The only mistakes I'd made were with the unwieldy elements.
“I will consider this argument won,” Calder boasted when I'd said nothing.
“If it weren't for Jakan, you would have killed me in Quellden,” Azazel spoke up suddenly.
Calder frowned. “Jakan?”
“He calmed you before you could maul me. You'd lost control. If you'd had the power of a high, who knows if his illusion would have worked at all?”
Calder chewed at the inside of his lip. “I said I was sorry, Azazel.”
Azazel nodded. “I know. And I accepted your apology. I'm just telling you that Kai has a point.”
Calder sighed and looked back at me. “What is your point? You regret teaching me the spell?”
“No,” I replied. “I just want you to be careful with it. If you did something stupid under its influence, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.”
“I do stupid things all the time,” Calder jested. “I don't need your help with that.” When I only glared at him, he laughed and walked over to give me a side squeeze. “I appreciate your concern, love, but stop worrying about me.” He shrugged. “Or keep worrying, if you want. It's nice to know you're thinking of me.”
“I think of you all the time,” I retorted, nudging him in the side.
“Really?” Calder grinned mischievously at Cerin.
Cerin refused to look amused. “That's a stretch even for you.”
Calder chuckled and spread his arms. “Go ahead. Hit me. I know you want to.”
Cerin's face brightened with a half-smile. “When I eventually hit you, you're not going to see it coming.”
Calder grinned. “I'll look forward to it.”
Azazel exhaled loudly, bringing both men's attention to him. The archer said to Calder, “The more I hear you speak, the more surprised I am that you accomplished anything in this battle.”
“Give me a few minutes to figure out if that was a compliment or an insult,” Calder replied.
“I think it was both,” I commented.
“You don't take anything seriously,” Azazel went on. “You've always been a jokester, but you were much calmer underground. It's made me worry that your head isn't in this war with us, but I can't be sure that asking you if it is will get me an honest answer.”
“I wasn't calm underground,” Calder argued. “I was overwhelmed, exasperated, and angry. I spent most of my time in that war campaign feeling as if it were destined for failure. And then it wasn't.” He jerked a thumb to me. “I met someone who took a chance on me and my suicide mission. I was worried to all hell I would fail her. Now?” He glanced around at the surroundings of the battleship. “I'm back on a ship. I'm back on the surface. As much as you may not believe it, taking over the underground didn't erase the innate fear I have of it, so even though I rule it, I'm not fully comfortable there. I'm back with people I care about. All of this makes me happy. Being productive makes me happy. I'm in a good mood, Azazel. Don't confuse that with meaning that I don't care about being here and helping you guys finish this war.”
Azazel nodded once. “That. That's what I wanted to hear. Blunt honesty.”
“All you had to do was ask for it,” Calder replied.
“I'm pretty sure this is Azazel's round-a-bout way of telling you that he was impressed by you in battle yesterday,” I said, smiling as Azazel attempted to give me an annoyed glare. It wasn't convincing.
“Really?” Calder couldn't help but give the other Alderi a satisfied smile.
Azazel huffed with amusement and crossed his arms over his chest. “Yes, and it bothers me because I'm not used to being impressed by you.”
“Well, I hope it becomes a common occurrence,” Calder commented. “I've always been impressed by you. Which brings me to ask if you'd ever be interested in returning to the underground.”
Azazel frowned with confusion. “I'd consider it if there were ever any need to in this war. But even then, I wouldn't be happy about it.” He tilted his head. “Why?”
“I'm considering my options,” Calder replied. “I plan on living in Chairel once Kai takes it. I'm going to need to make sure whoever takes my place is going to lead the underground well. The best person for the job would be you, but that means nothing if you don't want to do it.”
Azazel's gaze softened. “You would offer me the underground?”
“Gladly,” Calder said. “I told Kai years ago to offer it to you if I lost my life in its liberation. You've always been my first choice.” When Azazel didn't reply, Calder asked, “Are you reconsidering?”
“No,” the archer answered. “My place is with Kai and eventually Chairel. I'm just flattered you offered at all.”
“I've always liked and admired you,” Calder said. “It was you who hated me.”
“I've been changing my mind about that since you showed up here in Hammerton,” Azazel admitted.
“My charm is never-ending,” Calder mused.
“I wouldn't go that far,” Azazel retorted, and the two men chuckled.
“Whatever is happening here,” Cerin began, throwing a finger between the other two, “I like it.”
“Me too.” Calder reached in his pocket and grabbed a ferris cigarette. After a moment, he thought twice and put it back. He looked up at the rest of us and asked, “You mind if we head back to deck? I don't want to leave the unpacking to Uriel.”
“Sure.” As I followed him through the sleeping quarters, I asked, “What was that all about?”
“What?” Calder glanced back at me, confused.
“I don't think I've ever seen you last more than an hour without ferris. You haven't smoked it yet this morning, and you just took it out to put it back. I've never seen you do that.”
Calder stopped just before the steps to the deck and grinned at me. “I've still got a little bit of a high in me, love.” He circled a finger around near his head. “I told you that I felt more in control of myself than ever before. You decided not to ask me about what that meant.”
“Because I figured you were exaggerating to make me feel better,” I replied. “Tell me, then. About how it affects you.”
Calder turned to jog up the steps. In the minutes we'd been below deck, the sun had brightened the eastern coast with its yawn. The shimmering ocean waters competed with the gold of Olympia's architecture for attention. Dwarven prisoners of war were being gathered by Dax and Cyrus in the streets horizontal to the harbor. Many more soldiers had surrendered in Olympia compared to Monte, but only because its army had been massive. The opportunity for open rebellions was ripe here.
Calder flipped the hood of his shirt over his head, and a shadow fell over his handsome face, protecting his skin from the rising sun. As he started unpacking crates and supplies from the ship, we helped him.
“I've told you about the pain of being a shapeshifter,” Calder began, as we headed into the giant's deck with supplies. “You've broken bones before. You know the pain of being stabbed. When beastmen transform, that's how it feels. All over the body, all at once. You are giving magic the permission to tear your body apart before putting it back together. That's literally what it is. It's traumatizing. There's a reason so many of us are erratic and mentally disturbed.” He set the crate on the dock, where another Alderi man grabbed it and pulled it away to go through it. The harbor was full of the Alderi, and most of them were from Calder's army. Both men and women were working together, and many of them were joking or flirting while they did. It was a beautiful thing to see after experiencing the hostility be
tween the sexes underground.
Calder turned to me. “You mentioned on the ship how I lose control. I wasn't always like that. When I was a slave, I was full of anger and constant self-loathing. I loved sex, but I hated being forced to give it. That created a whole dilemma up here—” he pointed to his head “—that took me years to get over. I loathed those women so badly I had fantasies of attacking them and escaping, but that brothel was always so well-guarded. I was a bipolar person back then. Full of anger and helplessness but longing for freedom and fun. I learned to shapeshift in Silvi, and—” He snapped his fingers. “All that anger rose so close to the surface that it didn't take much to set me off. Transforming changes a person, Kai, and it's usually because of the pain.”
“Because you go through it more than most?” I questioned, trying to understand.
A whistling exhale blew through his teeth as he started back toward the ship to unload more. “Well, think about it. You're a healer, love. You know that even after healing a wound completely, it's still sore because the body's reacting to recent trauma. Being a beastman means I feel that all the time. Even when I'm not transforming, my body's still in pain from it. Which brings me to my point.” He glanced over at me. “The leeching highs I had in this past battle not only dulled that constant pain, but they also allowed me to focus. That throbbing pain I normally go through during a fight simply wasn't there. Like I said, I still have extra energy now, because I was taking it like crazy so I didn't lose that feeling. I'm not smoking ferris because I don't need it. I will eventually, once this high fades and I feel the damage again. But for now, I'm pain-free.”
I patted him on the back as he leaned over to grab another crate. “I'm overjoyed to hear that, love. I wouldn't have even considered that as a benefit.”
Calder smiled at me over a new crate. “Good. So don't worry about me. It may have looked like I was losing control, but I was more clear-headed than I've ever been. I think it's a great thing that shapeshifting is spreading underground. Most beastmen are now Alderi, so you have a bunch of necromancy-wielding beasts. Knowing death magic in addition to alteration is a major benefit for these people, and you're the one who taught us the elements. It's a good thing.” He twisted his lips to the side, adding, “Necromancy-wielding beasts, Kai. I mean, come on. That automatically makes my army the best.”
