by Cheree Alsop
The pride in her voice toward her boyfriend made me smile. From what I had seen of Jaze, he definitely deserved it. Neither Kaynan nor I would be here without him, not to mention Rafe and Grace. “Thanks Nikki. I really appreciate it.”
She set a hand on my arm. “It’s nice to have you here. Stay as long as you’d like.”
“Thank you,” I replied again, touched. She smiled and left the room, shutting the door so that only a crack remained that I could open with my nose.
A shiver ran up my spine so hard my teeth chattered. I pulled off my clothes and stopped fighting the phase. The fact that I could put it off at all amazed me. My time in the woods with Rafe had definitely improved my control.
Black and cream fur ran up my arms and my fingers shortened into paws. I knelt on the ground and let my limbs change shape, relishing the form of the wolf as my mouth and nose elongated, allowing me to take in the scent of a candybar in the drawer of the desk next to several newly sharpened pencils and a pen with a slight ink leak. My brain categorized the scents without me thinking of it. If I ever smelled them again, I would know exactly where they came from.
My ears grew pointed and moved higher on my head, catching the meow of a cat up a tree several houses down, and the angry scolding of the older woman who tried to order it down. The faint scrape of a can of cat food being set on cement preceded the sound of claws on bark and the soft patter of padded feet hitting the ground. The cat purred as though not at all bothered with the angry muttering of the woman who picked it up, then slid open the back door and stepped inside still complaining to the oblivious animal.
I stretched and a yawn pulled my lips back from my fangs. I shook to settle my fur, then nudged the door open with my nose. I padded quietly down the stairs, suddenly nervous at the thought of being trapped in a strange home surrounded by unfamiliar werewolves.
My nerves settled when Kaynan’s cedar and clove scent met me up the stairs along with Taye’s sunlight and clover. Another smell tangled with theirs, the scent of honeysuckle and lavender. Peace settled over me at the sight of Grace leaning against Kaynan, his strange ability to give her sight through touch when he was in wolf form allowing her to see me for the first time. Kaynan’s fur was dark red, matching his red eyes and making him look like a beast out of a horror novel. The light gray wolf beside him was small and graceful in comparison, and she nudged his shoulder with the familiarity of one who knew him and accepted him without question. The effect was beautiful and settling.
I trotted up to them slowly and waved my tail. I had to remind myself that they were werewolves, not regular wolves, and excitement grew in my chest at the thought of running with my brother. What we had gone through was horrible, but after all I had experienced, I wouldn’t give back being a werewolf, and I wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for him. He touched my nose with his in welcome, then lapped a slobbery tongue across my face. I snorted and nipped at his paws. He barked and nipped back, but I danced out of reach.
Taye waited by the door, her beautiful fur, the white of a female Alpha werewolf, glistened in the moonlight that streamed inside. She gave me a wolfish grin and her blue-gray eyes reflected the anticipation that filled me at the run. Nikki held the door open and waved us all through. “Be safe,” she called after us. “And don’t chase cows!”
Kaynan and Grace huffed in laughter at some private joke as Taye and I followed them through the shadows along the dark side of the street. The padding of four sets of paws sounded loud to my ears while we made our way along the sidewalk toward dark rolling hills and the whisper of the night breeze through the trees. The wind ruffled through my fur and I pushed Kaynan’s back with my nose, urging him faster.
He threw back a grin in response and fell into the easy mile-eating lope of the wolf. Grace ran beside him, her tail waving and steps sure as he guided her sight. Their footsteps fell as one as Kaynan projected to her the dirt road that eventually faded away to mere tire tracks in the thick weeds and brush that tried to choke out any signs of humanity. We ran through the night and I relished the freedom of the open fields and fences that fell away to plains. The scattered trees grew closer together and my homesickness for Rafe’s forest eased slightly.
The thought of Rafe slowed my headlong rush. I didn’t know what would happen if he awoke to find strangers watching over him. The same thought sent a chill through my body. When I awoke at Roger’s rehabilitation center, the only one I recognized had been Kaynan, but my brother looked so different I barely recognized him. The urge to phase had been so strong I couldn’t fight it, and it wasn’t until he brought familiar things that filled my cage with scents of home that I was able to bring myself to phase back.
I couldn’t explain why I was alive, or what had become of my life since the accident, but the cool grass under my paws and the ticklish scent of mustard weeds, sun-baked earth, and dandelions reminded me that I didn’t regret it for an instant. As much as Kaynan carried the regret of the accident on his shoulders, he had saved me from Dr. Tannin and given me a chance at a second life. My new life was strange and unpredictable, but one thing made it all worth while. Rafe.
I stopped running and Taye stopped after a few steps as well. She threw me a questioning look and I tipped my head in the direction of the house and gave a short whine. She bowed her head, her white fur bright in the moonlit meadow, then she lifted her nose to the moon and gave a short howl. The tones of homecoming and farewell mingled in a short, haunting song that left my heart full even after it faded. I wondered how the werewolves knew the same notes I had learned with Rafe’s pack, but the way they pulled at my soul answered the question before it was asked. No matter what language was used, home and farewell would always feel the same.
Two golden tones rang out from the sparse woods ahead of us. Grace’s high, soft voice mingled with Kaynan’s low howl. I wished for the first time that my mom and dad could hear them like that because I had never heard a song so beautiful. I missed my parents with a burning ache, but until I could control my phasing, I couldn’t bring what I was to them. I had avoided thinking of them, but they deserved to see Kaynan and Grace together. Kaynan completed Grace’s eyesight, but Grace was so much more to my brother. She filled something in him that had been empty for so long. The searching, restless look in his eyes was gone when he was with her, and the first peace I had ever seen on his face lingered when she was near.
Their notes bid us farewell while at the same time promising that they wouldn’t be long behind. Taye turned with me and we crossed the fields slowly on our way back home. Her quiet presence was comforting and accepting. I didn’t know her beyond her few brief visits to the rehab center and her skilled assistance with Rafe when they landed with the helicopter, but Kaynan had told me of her relationship with Jet, the quiet, black-haired werewolf who looked ready and able to take down an army if needed. The scars that ran up his arms and marked his face and any other visible skin told of a brutal past that Kaynan had only hinted at. I could understand how he would be drawn to Taye, how the calm reassurance of her presence stilled the wildness that showed in his eyes.
The closer we got to Meg and Roger’s, the more I worried about Rafe. I kept telling myself that he was alright, but I feared he would awaken scared and alone, hurt and afraid with only strangers to comfort him. Worse than that, I feared what would happen if he didn’t wake up at all. Dr. Benjamin’s honesty felt like a stake in my heart. I didn’t know what I would do if Rafe died.
Nikki opened the door when Taye scratched on it, and I loped straight upstairs, phased, and pulled on my clothes. I was grateful that the house was still and silent as I made my way back to the living room. I slipped out the door with a quiet whisper of thanks to both Nikki and Taye, and ran across the lawn to Meg and Roger’s.
When I entered the room, Meg met my questioning look with a slight shake of her head. “No change,” she said quietly, a hint of apology in her voice.
“That can be good or bad,” I replied. I blinked
to ease the burning in my eyes. I refused to cry. Rafe needed someone strong at his side, not some babbling girl who cried before knowing the outcome.
“Yes, it can,” Meg replied. She gestured to the covered bowl she had set on a t.v. tray. My stomach growled at the scent of a thick, meaty stew. “Eat up,” she said with a smile. “You won’t do him any good if you waste away.”
I nodded. “Thank you.” I took my seat beside Rafe’s table and buried my head against the thick fur at his neck, reassuring myself with the cedar and winter rain scent that was his as surely as his pure voice when he sang me to sleep or the way his golden eyes glittered when he watched the pups fight over a bone. I ate slowly of the stew and missed him with every breath.
Chapter 9
I opened my eyes, then wondered what had startled me. I hadn't slept since we made it to Meg and Roger’s, merely lying in the daze of the insomniac who knows sleep is a long ways away. Then something moved under my fingers. I turned my head and looked straight into Rafe's beautiful golden eyes. They were clouded with pain and confusion, but the recognition and relief that filled them when he looked at me made me smile.
“Hello,” I said softly.
He tried to move, and I heard his heart begin to race when he felt the bonds holding him down.
“It's alright,” I tried to reassure him. “It's just so you don't break your stitches while your body heals.”
His eyes rolled and he pulled against the bindings. I held him down, worried he would hurt himself further. Rafe pushed against me, panic and pain in his gaze. “Roger, Meg!”
Footsteps pounded down the hall and Roger and Charles appeared. Dr. Benjamin had returned to his hospital yesterday, stating blandly that he had done what he could and nothing else would keep the werewolf on earth if his wounds were going to kill him, but Charles had kindly agreed to stay in case he awakened and needed additional care. Roger rushed to hold Rafe down from the other side while Charles prepared something in a syringe. He pushed it into Rafe's shoulder, and Rafe's struggling slowed. We didn't let go until he stopped fighting us altogether and his eyes closed.
“It's just another sedative,” Charles reassured me. He grinned and at my questioning look, explained, “He's strong. No one who's about to die would be that strong.”
I gave a small smile with the glimmer of hope that formed in my chest at his words. “You think so?”
He nodded and patted my shoulder. “I do. As long as he didn't do too much damage when he awoke, I think he just might make it.”
He and Roger checked the bandages and I slumped back into the chair, suddenly so exhausted I felt like I could sleep for a week. It was as though now that Rafe was going to pull through, my body would let me relax my vigil if just for a little while.
***
I awoke on the couch and found the house empty. After checking to make sure that Rafe was still sleeping soundly in his wolf form, I crossed the grassy yard between Roger and Jaze's houses. I paused at the corner and heard quiet voices coming from the porch.
“I’m just not sure if now’s the time,” Jaze said, his voice contemplative but concerned. The porch swing creaked.
“You need to live your life, too,” Nikki replied.
Jaze sighed. “I can’t leave everything here. There’s too much going on.”
“I know,” Nikki said warmly. “You carry so much by yourself.”
I could hear the smile in Jaze’s voice when he replied, “Not by myself.”
Nikki laughed quietly. “No, not by yourself.” They both fell silent for a few minutes and I debated whether to let them know I was there, then she said, “But you’ve always wanted to go to college. You’d make a great professor.”
Jaze chuckled. “I definitely know how to handle unruly werewolves.”
“Exactly,” Nikki replied. A shorter, comfortable silence ensued. I took a step around the corner, but they didn’t notice me. Nikki leaned against the arm of the porch swing with her back to me and her bare feet in Jaze’s lap. He rubbed her feet as they talked, his fingers softly caressing her skin.
“Whatever you chose, I’m here with you,” she said, her voice determined. “If you want to go to college, I’ll apply too. If you want to stay and rescue werewolves and continue to harbor peace between the werewolves and Hunters, I’ll do that, too.”
A soft kiss sounded, then Jaze said, “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“And you to me,” Nikki replied. “Even if you are a werewolf.”
He tickled her toes and she laughed, then he pulled her close so that she sat on his lap. “Nikki, you are my life. No matter what I do or where I end up, if you’re by my side it’ll be the right place.”
She stared down at him and I couldn’t see her expression from where I stood, but her hand ran softly through his dark blond hair and he closed his eyes for the briefest moment. Moonlight played off his face and his smile, a smile that he saved only for her. He opened his eyes and my heart caught at the look in them.
Nikki stared down at him and her fingers toyed with the hair behind his ear. “I love you so much, Jaze Carso.”
“You are my forever,” Jaze replied in a voice soft and possessive at the same time. He pulled her close and kissed her gently on the lips. She leaned down, her neck graceful and her black hair brushing his hand that rested on the small of her back. She then rested her head on his shoulder and gave a soft sigh of contentment. My heart yearned for that sigh, for a love so deep nothing could be wrong in a world where it belonged.
“Your mom’s going to wonder where we disappeared to,” Nikki said after a few more minutes of comfortable silence.
“She won’t mind wondering a little bit longer,” Jaze replied.
Nikki laughed and stood up, then pulled him to his feet.
“Just note that I’m going inside under protest,” he said, wrapping his arm around her waist.
“Noted,” she replied. They both laughed and boards creaked under their feet as they crossed to the door.
I waited in the moonlight for a few minutes with a heavy heart. Rafe was so wild, so ingrained in the ways of the wolf. I wondered if he could ever feel for me as deeply as Nikki and Jaze felt for each other. I ached to be with him. Every thought I had centered on him. I got lost in his eyes and his calm self-assurance in the woods. My future was uncertain. It would be wonderful to have someone committed to sharing so much together, but I couldn’t ask that of him.
If he did pull through this, he deserved to go back to the wild where he was comfortable. As much as I loved both worlds, I didn’t know where I really fit. A wave of loneliness washed over me so sharply I swallowed a sob and made myself walk up the porch steps. The lights were on and the muffle of cheery voices drifted from inside.
Jaze opened the door. “Colleen! Come on in.” He stepped back to let me enter. “It's nice to have you over.”
I smiled at the looks of surprise on the faces of Kaynan's friends. My brother rose from the couch and offered me his seat. “You've got to be exhausted,” he said.
I shook my head. “I got some sleep, but I've missed just talking.” I fought back a blush. “It gets a little quieter than I'm used to in the forest.”
“I can believe it,” Brock said from his place on the floor eating a slice of pizza. “No bathrooms, no telephones, no television,” he gestured with his food, “no pizza delivery boy. From what I've learned about werewolves, it's a wonder you didn't starve out there.”
I glanced at Kaynan and he laughed. “Don't mind Brock. If he's not filling his stomach, he's worrying about what he'll find to eat next.”
As if to prove Kaynan's point, Brock finished his last bite, wiped his hands on his pants, and hurried back to the kitchen. Jet stared after him for a moment from his place leaning against the door frame to the kitchen, then pushed off and followed him. The sounds of a tussle followed, and Jet returned with a sandwich and a triumphant gleam in his eyes. Brock came back sulking a minute later with another
slice of cold pizza.
“I'm making spaghetti,” Mrs. Carso called from the kitchen. “More food will be available soon.” Everyone laughed at the competitive look Brock and Jet exchanged.
“Mrs. Carso is the best cook,” Grace said from the seat next to me. She gave me a sweet smile, her blue eyes soft in their blindness. Kaynan set a hand on her shoulder from his new spot behind the couch and she covered it with her own, her fingers caressing the back of his hand.
The expression on Kaynan's face was the happiest I had ever seen. His dark red eyes had a warmth in them I hadn't seen before the accident, and the protectiveness of his stance behind Grace showed that he cared for her more than he had ever cared for anything. She was good for him, and I liked her all the more for that.
The scent of tomato sauce, spaghetti noodles, meat balls, and garlic bread made my mouth water. I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten spaghetti. My stomach twisted when I realized it was the night before the accident. Mom had just agreed to let me go to the school dance with Debra as long as Kaynan brought us home by ten o'clock. It was early, but my parents were sticklers about being home on school nights. If only they could have known that would be the last night we would ever be home.
Mrs. Carso's call to dinner startled me out of my dark thoughts. I followed Grace and Kaynan to the kitchen, and smiled when he held her hand and then pulled the chair out for her. Grace had brought something sweet and gentle out in him that hadn't been there before. I wondered if Mom and Dad noticed when he visited them, and felt a sharp pain at the knowledge that they still thought I was dead. I took a seat on Grace's other side and blinked back tears at the sight of the spaghetti.
The table was full, Roger, Meg, and Mrs. Carso occupied the counter, and an extra seat had been pulled up to a t.v. tray table. “Do you know everyone here, Colleen?” Jaze asked. When I shook my head, he nodded at his friends. “You know Jet, Taye, and Nikki. Mouse drove when we came to pick you guys up,” the scrawny werewolf kept his eyes on the floor from his seat at the t.v. tray. “And Brock gives my mom a reason to keep cooking, though Jet's a quick runner-up. Brock and Mouse used to scour the city looking for signs of werewolves, and he never knew that his best friend was one.” Brock rolled his eyes at Mouse and a smile touched the werewolf's mouth.
