Impossibly Love

by Morgan, Shane

  As stiff as I was when it came to dancing, it was a wonder why I hadn’t resisted further to keep from looking idiotic in front of him.

  Branden flowed better to the music than I’d anticipated. He placed both hands on my waist and I moved along with him. Surprisingly, I wasn’t as bad as I feared.

  We had so much fun dancing with each other that I didn’t want the night to end. Mix after mix was exciting. The DJ truly knew how to keep a crowd entertained. Branden and I couldn’t leave the dance floor.

  Later on, the DJ slowed things down and Zedd’s ‘Clarity’ began to play. It was one of my favorite songs at the moment because the words were so relatable. Branden must have realized my love for the song, because he stood reading my expression, and then began pulling me intimately closer.

  My heart pounded as the warmth of his body engulfed mine. I gripped him tighter. Like this dance, this moment, was our last. He made every single hair on my body stand up as his breath tickled my neck. He lowered his head and lightly kissed me there.

  My insides were on fire. I wanted to say the words I’d been fighting back since I’d realized how I felt about Branden. At the end of the song, I eased out of his arms to look him in the eyes. Then I noticed his bliss from earlier was being replaced with agony.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked. “Branden?”

  He curved over, clenching his chest. “Nothing,” he exhaled rigidly while shaking his head. “It’s a chest cramp. That’s all. I’ll be alright, gimme a sec.”

  I wasn’t satisfied with that because it didn’t seem like his discomfort was going away after a second. “Are you sure you’re alright? Maybe I should get some help—”

  “No,” he said. “It’s fine. Don’t do that.” Branden tugged my hand and we made our way outside.

  I exhaled in the cool night air, still worried seeing Branden hung over his car, breathing deeply. I moved closer and massaged his back. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

  He composed himself then turned to face me. “Yeah, baby. I’m alright. I’m sorry about that.” He stuck his hand in his pocket and took out his car keys. “I guess we have to head back to campus. I’m sorry.”

  I didn’t protest as he opened the door for me to get in. There was something wrong. I had a gut feeling there was a secret Branden was trying to keep from me.

  On the drive back, I implored, “Maybe you should see a doctor. Is it the same thing like last time when I walked with you to your dorm?”

  Branden remained quiet, his eyes gazing out the windshield, not looking at me once.

  “I’m fine. It’s no big deal,” he finally said, his words coming out like a whisper.

  No matter what he said, pain was still evident on his face and in his reddened knuckles as he gripped the steering wheel. Branden wasn’t doing a good job at hiding it from me. But I didn’t mutter another word, though, until we got back to campus and he parked his car.

  Getting out, Branden offered, “I’ll walk you to your dorm.”

  I actually wanted to help him back to his. “No, maybe I should—”

  “Its fine,” he cut me off. “I don’t want you walking alone at night.”

  I nodded in agreement, realizing there was no talking Branden out of it. His mind was already made up.

  Anxiety itched at my heart as we walked back to my dorm. I wanted to know what was really going on with Branden, what he seemed to be hiding. As I drew closer to the entrance, I took out my identification card and unlocked the door.

  My body shivered as I turned to Branden and asked, “Will you come up?”

  He looked surprised by my words. I really wanted to be close to him this moment.

  Moving over to where I stood, Branden touched my hand on the handle and eased it away. He entered, closing the door behind him.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Branden

  The entire walk up the stairs to Moya’s room we stayed in silence, and I held her hand tightly in mine all the way. I didn’t want her to worry about me. That was my reason for accepting her invite. I had no idea what would happen after getting to her room.

  When I entered, I was surrounded by darkness until she flipped the light switch. Her room was barely decorated. Not that I was surprised. She wasn’t the type to go all out putting up posters or displaying an artistic collection on shelves.

  “Water?” Moya offered, taking a bottle out her little refrigerator.

  I took the bottle out of her hand.

  She motioned for me to sit down and I rested on the edge of her bed while she sat at her study desk.

  I gulped down some water as Moya continued to stare troublingly at me. “Are you sure you’re alright?” she asked.

  “Don’t look so worried,” I tried to assure her. I wanted that sexy and self-confident smile to return to her beautiful face. After all, it was my own damn fault for getting too excited at Sound Box when I was constantly warned that too much activity would rile up my condition.

  Moya cleared her throat and I zapped out of my thoughts. “I was thinking, Branden. I barely know anything about you besides what you study.”

  I straightened. “Ask me anything you want to know.” Was that a good idea?

  “Okay, for starters,” She got up and walked over to the bed, sinking down beside me, “why International Business?”

  It was the only other area of study I thought of when my dream of becoming a professional hockey player was shattered. Initially, I had wanted to major in Sports Management. After giving up hockey I’d decided to stay as far away from anything athletics as I could.

  “Because…I like it,” I lied.

  Moya nodded, disbelief still covered her face. I decided to return the question. “Why finance?”

  Her eyes softened as she answered, “Because I like money.”

  We both laughed. Soon our chuckles faded and the air became interestingly strange as we stared back and forth from each other to the bed on which we sat.

  “It’s because,” she continued, “I want to be able to give back to my momma one day. She’s done a lot for me. Helped me get to where I am today.”

  I nodded, feeling great admiration for her. “Your momma should be proud.”

  She smiled, dipping her head shyly. “So,” her voice chirped, trying to find something else to talk about, “tell me about hockey. Why’d you stop playing?”

  Not this again.

  A tight knot developed in my throat. “It wasn’t for me anymore.” That was my usual excuse whenever someone asked. It wasn’t convincing Moya to drop it, though.

  She pushed further. “But you were so good. I saw videos of you on YouTube. Plus, wasn’t that your scholarship? I even heard you were drawing the attention of recruiters to get drafted by some popular teams.”

  She amazed me with how much she knew. “You checked up on me?” It thrilled me to hear she had taken the time to find out about me.

  Moya pursed her lips innocently as her eyes glanced around the room, looking at everything else but me. “No, I wasn’t checking up on you.” Her voice was high pitched and sounded nervous. “When Vanessa told me how weird it was that you quit, when you were so good, I wanted to find out for myself. That’s all.”

  Finally, she stared at me again. But it was now my turn to look away from her gorgeous brown eyes.

  I found myself in a dilemma.

  Was it fair to like her so much and make her feel as if she could freely do the same, when my life was so complicated? If I told her the truth now, what would happen? Would she have the same reaction like Samantha did?

  “You seem really lost in thought,” Moya chimed, taking the bottle from my hand to put down on top of the desk.

  I stood as well, staring at her back. It had to be now. I had to tell her about my condition.

  When Moya turned to face me I clenched her shoulders. “There’s something you have to know, Moya, and it scares me a lot to tell you because I feel like we’re starting something great.”

  She parte
d her lips and her eyes widened. “What is it?”

  I took a long breath. “The reason why I stopped playing hockey in high school is because, I—”

  A vibration resounded nearby and threw me off. Peering around, we saw that it was her phone ringing on top of her desk.

  Moya tried to ignore it. “Never mind, keep going.”

  I urged her to see who was calling, only to create a diversion so I wouldn’t have to go through with telling her at this moment. I didn’t have the courage at all. “It could be important.”

  Picking up the phone, she checked the screen. “It’s Vanessa. I’ll call her back. What were you saying?”

  No. I needed the disruption. I was too afraid and couldn’t possibly share my secret with someone who already established a special place in my heart. I couldn’t risk losing the connection we had so far. “It can wait, answer it.”

  I moved over to the door as Moya spoke to Vanessa on the phone. I could hear how upset her friend was; Vanessa sounded like she was crying hysterically, as if her world had fallen apart.

  When Moya hung up I asked, “What’s going on?”

  “Vanessa and her boyfriend had a fight, she’s on her way over so we can binge and talk crap about him until they make up again,” she chuckled, raising one hand to rub the back of her neck.

  “So, I guess that’s my cue then. No boys allowed.” I moved closer and combed my fingers through her thick curls.

  She frowned. “I’m sorry, Branden, you wanted to tell me something important.”

  “It’s alright, friends come first. I’ll tell you next time.” I pulled her in for a tight hug then gave her a kiss on the forehead as I cupped her cheek.

  Moya wanted more. She flung her arms around my neck, pulling me in aggressively for a kiss on the lips. I placed my hands at her waist, leaving them there and not going further. I yearned, though, to caress her curves.

  I left Moya’s dorm before Vanessa showed up. Still hurting a bit, I walked over to my dorm and took my medication immediately after getting to my room. Sadly, they weren’t working very well—which reminded me I had to meet with Doctor Henderson to discuss my options, now that the MRI had showed the Aortic Dissection was, in fact, back and in full force.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Moya

  The next evening Vanessa and I went window shopping around the plaza near school. I wanted to hang out with Branden afterwards. However, he hadn’t showed up for Business Law in the morning and his cell phone had been off all day. I wondered if he was still feeling sick.

  Of course, after crying her heart out last night on the floor of my room, and cursing every single thing about Calvin and Basketball, Vanessa forgave him when he showed up this morning with flowers. Talk about a light switch relationship.

  As much as her boyfriend and I didn’t really get along, I could understand him not being able to spend a lot of time with Vanessa due to his Basketball commitments. It had been bothering her more than ever lately, though. She seemed really frustrated about it.

  Strolling along the shops, Vanessa kept me from inquiring about her relationship by asking about Branden. “So can I stop trying to set you up with other guys?”

  I giggled. “It would mean a lot if you stopped doing that. I never liked it anyway.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I had your best interest at heart. You know, I almost considered what Tobias said about you being a lesbian. I mean, you’re my best friend and I love you regardless. But don’t try to make a move on me,” she joked.

  I sucked my teeth. “Whatever. But, Nessa, about Branden…”

  We came to a stop and sat down on the stone bench around the fountain in the middle of Sheppard’s Plaza.

  “Oh jeez, don’t tell me you’re second-guessing now?” she asked, seeing I was in contemplation.

  I played with my butterfly pendant necklace. “No. Not that. Did you hear anything else about him and the reason why he stopped playing Hockey?”

  Her forehead creased as she narrowed her eyes and slanted her head. “Only what I’ve already told you. Girl, if you’re so curious why don’t you ask your boyfriend?”

  “He seems so apprehensive, talking about hockey. Like, it’s hard for him. I don’t know…” I trailed off in thought. We continued to sit there in a comfortable, if tired, silence as the evening wore on. Then I remembered. “Oh, I have to call that place.”

  While taking my cell phone out my clutch, Vanessa inquired, “What place?”

  “The jewelry store in Berlin Heights Branden said is looking for someone to work on weekends. That reminds me, I should ask Momma where she bought my necklace because Branden said the store sells them there.”

  “Ooh, I see.” Vanessa nodded as realization dawned on her. “That’ll be good, too, because you go home on weekends, anyway.”

  I placed my finger to my lips and indicated for her to be quiet as the phone rang twice. A lady answered on the third in a jovial tone, “This is Teresa.”

  “Hi, is this the owner of My Love’s Finest?”

  “No, I’m the store manager. Are you looking for custom pieces?” Teresa asked.

  “Oh, no,” I shook my head as if she could see me through the phone. Vanessa laughed inaudibly. “This is Moya. My boy….” Maybe I shouldn’t say that. “My friend told me you were looking for someone to work on weekends at your jewelry store?”

  “Oh, yeah, Branden said you’d be calling soon. Well, I need another person to work the register. Have you done that before?” Teresa asked.

  I replied, “No. But I’m a fast learner.”

  She continued, “I see. How about you stop by this Saturday for an interview and a quick run through of the store? If all goes well, I’ll let you start.”

  I answered enthusiastically, “Sure thing. I’ll be there.”

  Teresa gave me the address. Even then, I didn’t know where the jewelry store was. I didn’t think I had ever been in that part of Berlin Heights before.

  Vanessa squealed when I got off the phone. “Yay, girl, how sweet of your boo to hook you up with a job. I must say I’m starting to like this Branden more and more.”

  “I haven’t gotten it yet, Nessa,” I laughed.

  “You will.” She waved me off as we got up from the fountain and began heading back to campus.

  That evening, I tried calling Branden again. He finally answered and I asked straightaway, “What happened? Are you still feeling sick?”

  “Sorry I didn’t call you earlier. I had something to take care of and my phone was off.” Branden sounded overwhelmed.

  A wave of stillness entangled the line, and I wanted to get us out of it. “You wanna hang out tonight, by the river, or…?”

  “I’m home, Moya,” he breathed deeply.

  I didn’t understand. “How come, did something happen?”

  “It’s hard to explain over the phone. Maybe we could meet up on Friday before you leave for the weekend?”

  “Okay,” Branden had me beside myself with worry. His voice sounded so tired on the phone.

  His words slurred when he spoke. “I’ll meet you at your dorm Friday night then.”

  “Sure.”

  We hung up and I was left wondering what could possibly be going on with Branden. Did it have something to do with those sudden aches he’d get? I didn’t even get to tell him I was going to start working that weekend thanks to him.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Branden

  After my consultation with Doctor Henderson, Mom wanted me home. She said it was better to be away from the stressful school environment. I knew it was simply because she was scared; so scared that she wanted me close and on her radar.

  No one said anything after leaving the hospital. Mom didn’t even comment on Dad finally being present for my visit with Doctor Henderson.

  That night we had dinner together, all four of us, and surprisingly, Mom started a conversation in a rare tone of excitement. “Guess who I saw today at the bank?”

  Dad
asked, “Who?” pretending to be as enthusiastic as Mom was.

  “Samantha.”

  I looked up from my plate. Mom’s pale blue eyes beamed at me in return. When I made no comment, she continued, “Apparently, Sammie’s working part-time at Wesley Bank while taking night classes at Colby-Sawyer College.”

  That sounded strange. Samantha always said she was going to study at Yale. I wondered what changed.

  “It was rather odd,” Mom went on. “She seemed so flustered seeing me, as if I was going to chew her head off.”

  Ashton dropped his fork. “Well, she was kind of a bitch to Branden, so of course she’d feel bad seeing you, mom. She should feel bad.” He was mad at Samantha for the way she ended things between us.

  “Hey, I’m over it. You guys should be, too.” I snapped, before taking a slice of my pork chop.

  The look on Mom’s face told me she didn’t want it to be over. After all, no one wanted Samantha and I to be together more than Mom did. She had big plans for us. Why was she asking about Moya, then?

  “Branden,” Dad muttered under his breath, the sound of his stern voice disrupted my contemplating. “Let’s you and I have a talk after dinner, okay, son?”

  I nodded. It felt weird that Dad actually wanted to exchange words. He barely even looked me in the eye in months since I got sick. I was glad, though, he’d started to come around.

  After dinner, I went out back to where dad was sitting, looking out at the still water. The lights of the Naval Academy Bridge and Annapolis were barely visible in the distance, but it was a good scene nevertheless.

  He heard my steps and motioned me over to the chair next to him.

  “What’s up, dad?” I asked. The anticipation made me uneasy.

  Dad cleared his throat and sat out on the chair. “Your mom kept this from you, Branden, because she's scared. But I thought it was important that you knew.”

  I shrugged. “Knew what?”

  His eyes watered briefly and he turned his head. “Doctor Henderson said the surgery may be even more risky this time around, might speed up your death. But these…” he trailed. “These meds you’ve been on could give you more time.”