by Amy Rachiele
I know I’m a little shy, but I didn’t realize that it was so noticeable. Suddenly, I realized I had missed two water droplets on my feet.
“See, you’re not looking at me now.” he chuckled. I forced my now red face up to meet his eyes. He playfully got in close. “I challenge you to a staring contest.”
“What? No, that’s stupid,” I said as I gathered my things...not looking at him again, I might add.
“That’s because you know you’ll lose.” His voice was challenging.
“It’s getting cold out here. I’m going in.” I headed towards the cabin, Will right behind me.
“Why don’t we have a bet? I bet you that, if I win, you have to learn to swim, even if it’s freezing out.”
“What do you have to do if I win?” I stopped and crossed my arms.
“That’s easy...nothing, because I’m going to win,” Will commented arrogantly.
“Ugh...” I swatted my hand out at him and continued into the house.
“Okay, name your price,” he called out.
“I’ll have to think about it,” I said, not really taking him seriously.
“Great, you have until morning.”
Changing out of the wet bathing suit felt great. I put back on the government issued sweat suit and slipped on my sneakers. I came down the stairs and saw Will piling up wood by the fireplace.
“We can have a blazing fire tonight,” Will told me as he busily organized the wood. I grabbed my camera bag.
“Sounds good.”
“I always wanted a fireplace when I was a kid,” he said. “Where are you going?”
“I really want to take some pictures. The area is beautiful.”
“Stay close to the house,” he ordered.
“Got it.”
I felt invigorated after the cool swim in the lake. I think it was the first time I’ve felt that way after swimming. Every time I got out of the water when I was a kid with my parents, I didn’t feel invigorated, I felt anxiety ridden. I also felt like a failure that I hadn’t learned to swim for another year.
The porch on the cabin was truly amazing. I stepped back away from it into the driveway by the car. I focused my lens on the tree-trunks supporting the porch roof. The trees must have been enormous and old. I pulled the camera away from my face and went back up the steps onto the porch. I moved one of the rocking chairs and angled it just right for the perfect shot, then went back to my position by the car and snapped a few pictures.
The sun glistening on the surface of the lake caught my eye, and my feet automatically moved towards it. I didn’t go towards the docks where we swam this time. Or I should say where Will swam and carried me. I headed for a small area lined with tall grass that didn’t show the effects of autumn yet. I lay down in it and propped up my elbows. The sun began to cast an enchanting glow across the water. I had to capture it with my camera. The thick pieces of grass were tall and surrounded me. For a brief moment, I was taken back to the nightmare that I had, but I pushed it away and readied my camera.
With my camera’s capabilities, I was able to blur the vivid grass in front of me and focus on the shining lake. When I would get in this zone of picture taking, the beauty of the world never ceased to amaze me. Its sharp lines, crisp colors, and undying changes made it better and better. That’s why I always found it so important to create stills like this. This kind of beauty would end with nightfall, and a new one would slip in.
*****
After dinner, Will loaded up the fireplace with scraps of paper and thin sticks. I sat on the couch to watch. He grabbed a few logs from the pile that he had neatly stacked earlier and placed them on top. In his hand, he had not matches, but a long lighter. He pulled the trigger on it and it clicked. A small flame erupted on the end, and he held it under the paper he had crumpled as the fire caught.
“Wow, its Grizzly Will!” I joked. He sent me a quizzical look.
“Huh? I don’t get it,” he said.
“You’ve never seen Grizzly Adams?” I asked dumbfounded. “It’s on the retro channel.”
“Nope. Never seen it.”
“Really?” I said shocked. “Well, it’s about a guy who lives in a log cabin in the woods. He’s got a thick beard, and his friend is an Indian? He lives with a grizzly bear? Not ringing any bells?” I gestured with my hands in disbelief that he had never seen it.
“Nope. That sounds dangerous, though,” he said sarcastically.
“Yes, and working for the FBI isn’t dangerous,” I quipped back acerbically. “Anyway, he was convicted of a crime he didn’t commit, so he went off to live in the woods by himself.”
“How is he living by himself? You just said he was friends with an Indian and had a grizzly bear.”
“That was after... Geesh, keep up.”
Will poked the fire with one of the metal tools on the hearth. “Ben is awesome. He protects Grizzly Adams...”
Will cut me off. “The Indian’s name is Ben?” he asked curiously.
“No!” I said in exasperation. “Ben is the bear!”
“You watch some fucked up shows.” He shook his head laughing.
“I don’t have a ton of friends. Basically, I go to school, take pictures, and watch reruns.”
Will glanced up at me from his busy man-work, attending to the fire. I knew his question before he even asked it.
“Why don’t you have a lot of friends?”
“I knew you were going to ask me that,” I responded. “Since high school, I just don’t really trust people. That’s all. Jen has been my only true friend. It’s not that I don’t have people I’m friendly with; I kind of just choose to be on my own.”
I thought that Will was going to pursue the line of questioning in this conversation, but he didn’t. We both became quiet. There was an easy silence in the room. I usually found silences awkward, but, with Will, I was finding them easier.
“I’m going to sleep down here on the couch,” Will said. “That way I can keep an eye on the fire.”
I got up and headed for the stairs. When I got to the catwalk, I observed Will over the railing, spreading a blanket on the couch.
“Good night,” I called out to him.
“Night, Joy.” He didn’t look up at me.
Chapter 7
Derek and Kara:
September 22nd Three weeks earlier
The next few weeks passed typically the same way. Kara would just sit and draw. Derek would try to start a conversation with her, but she would only give one-word answers. Derek looked forward to math for the first time in his life.
Kara noticed Derek from day one of math class. It scared her when he sat down in the chair next to her. What she knew of him was not good. He was a troublemaker and stayed back who-knew-how-many times. The rumors buzzed that he was in a gang with Tommy and other druggies. He was really good looking, though...almost pretty. Sandy-colored hair, tall, and a serious “don't mess with me” attitude.
In spite of all the rumors about Derek that floated through the school, he was never anything other than nice to her. Every day he would talk with her before class or make funny comments during classwork. She barely made eye contact with him. She was just too embarrassed around him.
Kara's hands shook every time he talked to her. A couple of times, she saw him in the hallway, but she would turn the other way or duck into a classroom.
One day in September during study hall, she was actually having a little daydream about him. Nothing that would make her blush, just sweet dreams of having him as a boyfriend. She wondered where he'd take her, what they would talk about, would he kiss her goodnight? Kara was lost in her thoughts and suddenly Derek was standing in front of the room talking to the study hall monitor. They both looked over at her. Derek smiled at her. The monitor called her name.
“Kara Matthews?”
She stood without thinking and picked up her books. She walked to the monitor and took the little piece of paper he held out.
“The office
needs to see you.”
Kara started for the door and could feel Derek walking right behind her. She was hyperaware of Derek’s presence. She seemed to sense him whenever he was around.
When they got outside into the hallway, Derek touched her elbow to get her attention.
“Kara?”
Slowly, she turned towards him. She saw something unexpected in his eyes. No one ever looked at her like that. He gazed at her like he wanted to gobble her up. Kara had observed this look guys sometimes got before, but she was never the recipient. It was always someone else. Kara did a lot of people watching.
“Kara, I wanted to talk to you.” Derek said.
“Why?” she asks.
He pauses, not able to come up with an immediate answer.
“Umm... I just...I thought...maybe...we could hang out or something.”
*****
Joy:
In the morning, I got up; ready to face the crazy, scary new world I was living in. I decided I had to just suck it up. I had to become one with the uncomfortable newness of living in the middle of nowhere without Jen or school. At the very least, I had my camera, and I was staying in a place that I could take pictures of for many years to come.
I showered. The water was warm, and I melted into it. I washed my hair and brushed my teeth all with renewed purpose. I put on some jeans and a long sleeve shirt because it was a cool morning. I dried my hair with the government issued hair dryer, courtesy of the government.
Will came in the bathroom.
“Hey! What if I wasn’t dressed!?” I reprimanded over the hum of the dryer.
Will didn’t say anything, but he had a weird look on his face. His eyes were open wide, and he got in my face with childish impoliteness.
“Staring contest,” he deadpanned. He stared goofily straight into my eyes and tried to hold my gaze. Of course, I looked away.
“You lose!” he shouted victoriously. “Swimming lessons are after lunch.”
“No way! There were no guidelines or rules. AND we did not determine what I win!” I clicked off the hair dryer. “That is cheating, Mr. Harrison.”
“That’s not cheating,” he dismissed me. “Staring is staring. I was staring and you looked away, case closed.”
“I was not prepared, nor was I notified that such contest was to take place at this moment. An appointed time and proper preparation was needed. I believe that any judge in the United States would rule in my favor. You cheated.”
I brushed my long hair with a brush I brought from home, even though there were plenty of brushes supplied by the government to pick from. All of the drawers were stock full of supplies.
“That is a severe accusation, Ms. Tilden. I believe that I overrule you.”
I gathered all my hair into my hands, fashioning it into a ponytail. I secured it with a scrunchy I had brought.
“You are incorrect. I will not subject myself to swimming lessons when a fair staring contest did not take place.”
“Well, Ms. Tilden, then be forewarned that a new contest will take place. Staring is not the object though. It shall be tickling!”
Will’s hands whipped out to tickle my waist, and I took off running, dodging his grasp. I zipped to the staircase and barreled down like a herd of elephants. I dashed into the kitchen and grabbed a large plastic spoon to defend myself with. I bent my knees and crouched with the spoon held high like a warrior princess. Will approached me, slowing, and I spun the spoon in front of me like a baton, warning him off.
“Your means of tormenting witnesses are treasonous, and I will fight back with whatever means I can.”
“You cannot evade me for long Ms. Tilden. Mwahahaha...” Will joked and laughed maniacally.
“When does this charade-of-silliness end?” I asked, ready to jab him with my spoon if necessary. “I’m ready for breakfast.”
Will lowered his hands and smiled at me. “Hunger wins over justice!” he shouted and headed for the freezer. “Eggo waffles?” he asked.
“Sounds good.”
I lowered my plastic weapon and tossed it on the counter. Will put waffles in the toaster while I got out two plates and two cups. I set the table and then decide to make concentrated orange juice in a pitcher I found in the cupboard by the sink. I filled the pitcher with tap water and open the can, stirring it with my plastic spoon – AKA, the feeble weapon. When the waffles were done, Will placed syrup and butter on the table. I continued to stir until the frozen orange juice glob dissolved. I pour it into the cups I placed on the table earlier.
We sat down to waffles and juice. Will watched closely as I smeared butter all over my waffles.
“Are you making sure that there is butter in every little square?” Will asked me, chuckling.
My butter knife paused in mid-swipe, and I looked up from my task. “Huh?”
“You are working very hard spreading butter. If you concentrated that hard on learning to swim, you might be an Olympic champion by the end of the day.”
“Stop with the swimming thing...” I said blankly and continued to prepare my waffles. “It’s getting ridiculous.”
“Come on...Let’s go in the water again.”
“Nope.”
“Please,” Will whined.
I peeked up from my waffles to see he had puppy dog eyes...or his lame attempt at puppy dog eyes, anyway.
“All right,” I huffed, conceding.
After eating, we did the dishes together and put everything away. I wiped the counter down with a sponge.
“It’s time,” Will sing-songed, and I grimaced at him.
“I’ll go get a suit on,” I muttered miserably.
“Or we could go au natural...” Will offered mischievously as he waggled his eyebrows at me.
“Yeah, right. You can, but I’m putting on a suit.”
I put the sponge down and headed for the stairs. Going to my room, I pulled out the one-piece I wore yesterday.
“Hurry up!” Will yelled from downstairs.
“I just got up here!” I yelled back. “Geesh, keep your pants on!”
“Do you really want me to respond to that?” Will called back suggestively.
I stomped down to the water, and it was just as embarrassing today as it was yesterday. I stripped down out of my sweat suit on the dock. Will stood in a shallower part of the lake with the water lapping at his chest, waiting for me.
“Ugh...It’s cold.”
“The water isn’t,” Will countered.
I sat down on the dock and slipped my feet into the water. It sent a shiver through me because it was chilly. I snatched my feet out quickly.
“You said it’s not cold. It’s freezing.”
“Don’t be dramatic. Come on.”
I slipped down into the cold water, and Will sloshed over to me. He gripped my arm and pulled it off the wooden plank I was holding. I quickly looked away from his gaze. He was right...I did have trouble looking him in the eye.
Will put his hand under my chin, and I shivered from his touch. He tilted my head towards him and, with my face to him, my eyes wandered away in mortification.
Will smiled knowingly and changed to special-agent swim teacher.
“Let’s do some strokes right here. Move your arms like this.” He showed me and encouraged me to copy him.
I did, feeling stupid.
“Now hold on to the dock and kick your feet.”
I leaned back and grasped behind me. I kicked out and moved my legs. Will reached for me, and I flinched, and automatically drop my legs.
“Keep going,” he said. “Legs stiffer.”
I kicked out again and focused on keeping my legs horizontal. Will touched my legs, but I kept going, swishing and kicking in the water. He gently repositioned my legs.
“Like this,” he said watching me. “Better,” he encouraged.
I felt completely stupid. Here I was, an adult learning to swim with a gorgeous guy standing over me giving me directions. I analyzed the situation and gathered t
hat I didn’t like the focus of attention on me. That was really the crux of it, if you were going to boil it down to its root.
I kept kicking as Will took me out into the deeper water. He towed me while I tried to put together everything he had taught me.
“Good. You are doing really well,” Will praised.
I concentrated on my movements and on the water. Without me even realizing it, Will had let go. I watch the water with its small ripples and cool sloshing. My feet and arms moved succinctly. I was swimming!
“I’m doing it,” I commented softly.
“Yes. You are.”
Will swam back to me and scooped me into his arms. His skin was chilly, but that was not what made me tremble. It was his closeness, the way he looked at me with dark eyes. He ran his wet fingers along my arm, up my shoulder, and across my neck. I closed my eyes, savoring his touches. It stopped. I opened my eyes to see he had backed away.
“Let’s head back in. I think you definitely have the gist of swimming,” Will said, and he helped me back to the dock.
“Thank you,” I told him quietly.
“No problem. You’re a natural,” he responded.
*****
At the cabin, I showered again. Will waited for me to finish, then went to shower, too. I left my hair damp and headed down to the computer by the kitchen.
I took my camera and cords over to it, pressing the power button to boot it up. A government message popped up. A text box requiring a code floated in the middle of the screen.
“Will!” I yelled. “I need the password for this computer.”
He called down to me from upstairs, “ABC123.”
Was he kidding? Wow, that’s really high tech. I typed in the code and got onto Windows. I plugged my camera in to load, then went into the kitchen to get some crackers. It was getting close to suppertime; I was getting hungry.
When I walked back to the computer, all of my pictures had loaded into a neat grid of thumbnails. I scanned them quickly and practically choked on a cracker, coughing and gagging. Will came downstairs.
