by C. A. Harms
She turned in my arms, bringing her body in just a little closer to mine. Her breath made her chest flutter, and her eyes were closed as if she was focusing solely on being next to me. Her scent engulfed me, making it hard to focus.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
I leaned forward and kissed her forehead before stepping back, because I had to put some space between us. The overwhelming urge to kiss her until we both couldn’t breathe was almost impossible to resist.
“Save me a dance at the reception?” I asked, yet it sounded more like a statement.
All she offered was a nod just before Callie gripped her arm and pulled her away from me.
“My gosh, you two, just give in already. The heat between you guys is stifling,” Callie groaned as she looked back over her shoulder and winked at me.
She was right. The atmosphere was hot as hell whenever Avery and I got within five feet of one another.
***
“You ready for this?” Easton asked Jett as Jett continued to pace. We’d been locked in this tiny-ass room at the back of the church for close to an hour, and the walls were closing in on me. Confined spaces had a tendency to freak me out.
“Fuck yeah, I’m ready,” he said. “In fact, if this don’t get moving soon, I’m gonna go find Quinn and drag her off to Vegas. This shit’s for the birds. I’m ready to get married.”
I chuckled, and Jude grinned slyly from where he sat at the opposite side of the room.
“You’re just ready to consummate the marriage,” I said as I straightened my tie. Goddamn thing felt like it was strangling me.
“Hell yeah, I am. I told Quinn we’re out of here once I hear the words, ‘You may kiss the bride.’” It was Jett’s turn to smile with a coy gleam in his eye. “I rented a limo for the night. It has privacy glass on all the windows, not to mention between us and the driver.” He turned around to face us. “I have every intention of consummating the hell out of my marriage at least twice before we make it to the reception.” He shifted his eyebrows in a suggestive manner, and even Jude, the quiet, mysterious monster, chuckled.
***
I felt sick to my stomach. It hit me the moment I reached the altar as I turned to face the crowd. Anger immediately engulfed me, and it was next to impossible to contain. I stared at him as my nostrils flared and my heart raced.
Robert Archer hadn’t been drinking that night. He was a law-abiding citizen who had fallen asleep at the wheel after working a double shift, but Jenna was killed on impact. If it wasn’t for him, and me, the woman I had thought I’d marry one day would still be alive today.
I wasn’t the only person that blamed myself; Jenna’s parents blamed me too.
Jude tapped my arm, and I looked over at him, my chest still heaving with anger.
“You all right?” he asked.
“No.” It was all I offered him before turning back to face the man that killed Jenna.
I spent the entire ceremony glaring at him as he fidgeted in his seat, trying my best to remember it was Jett and Quinn’s day. The moment the ceremony ended, he hurried out of the chapel, and I stalked out after him. Outside, I cornered him at the side of the building.
“Why are you here?” I shouted.
“I was invited,” he stated nervously.
His response only made me angrier. He got to live his life. He got to wake up every fucking day and smile, laugh, and feel the sun on his face. But Jenna paid the price for a few extra bucks in his pocket.
I took a step closer until my chest was only inches from his. He stood at my height and he wasn’t a small man, yet he appeared weak and defeated.
“Dad?” I heard from behind me, and my once-racing heart hit the fucking ground at my feet. “Is everything okay?”
I took a step back and turned to face Avery. She looked up at me with a confused expression on her face.
“This is your dad?’ I asked, hoping I had misunderstood her.
“My stepdad, but yes,” she clarified.
I hung my head and took in a deep breath. No wonder I hadn’t made the connection. Avery still had her biological father’s last name, but the man that took Jenna from me was the man she now called Dad.
Chapter Two
Avery
“Kade, what’s going on?” I asked.
The tension between them terrified me. Kade and the man who had been more of a father than the one who abandoned my mother and me were staring at each other as if they were enemies. They looked as if they were going to attack each other at any moment.
“Do you two know each other?” I asked.
“Yeah, Robert and I go way back. Don’t we, Robert?” Kade’s response was all cocky arrogance.
“I’m sensing that, uh,” I stuttered, unsure of what to say that wouldn’t make the situation worse, “maybe friends isn’t the right word to explain your relationship.”
My dad stood before Kade silently. I had rarely seen him nervous or even angry, but right now he appeared to be a little of both.
“I think I’m gonna get going, Avery,” he said. “I have to be to work in an hour. Tell your mother I’ll see her tonight.” He turned around to face his car and attempted to leave in a hurry.
“Are you still working all that overtime, Robert?” Kade asked, and I found his comment odd. “You are getting enough sleep in between shifts, right? I mean, you wouldn’t want to get behind the wheel and cause an accident, would you, Robert?”
My father didn’t answer Kade or even look back as he walked away. He just opened his car door and crawled inside.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I narrowed my eyes at Kade. “Where do you get off talking to him like that?”
“You don’t know?” he asked.
“Know what?” I fired back, growing more irritated with him.
His nostrils flared, and his rapid breathing grew more intense. “How long has he been married to your mother?”
“Why does that matter?” I wasn’t going to give in to his demands for details about my life after the way he’d just behaved. He owed me an explanation for the way he treated my father. Until I got it, he could fuck off.
“How long?” he snapped.
“Go to hell, Kade.” I spun on my heel and walked back toward the church, but I could hear his footsteps following me. These damn strappy heels were impossible to get away in. He gripped my elbow a little too hard, and I yelped as he spun me around to face him.
“Let go,” I said as I yanked my arm away. He was acting crazy, and it was starting to scare me. Kade had always been so sweet and gentle with me. Yeah, he was quiet and often hard to read, but he had never behaved like this.
As my eyes filled with tears, he stepped back, gaping. I got the feeling he just realized he’d hurt me. “Avery, I’m sorry. Did I hurt you, sweetheart?” He reached out for me, and I backed away. “I didn’t mean to. Goddamn it, I’m sorry.”
“I’m fine. I need to get back inside. We have pictures.” I turned and rushed off, not giving him the chance to say anything more.
Quinn looked up as I approached the altar. Jett had a death grip on her waist, as if she may escape and he wasn’t about to let her. I giggled at his ridiculous obsession with her. His need for her and how much he loved having her near were honestly adorable. I was envious of Quinn. The previous encounter with Kade came rushing back, and I found my impending tears returning once more at the sight of the sweetness the two of them shared.
“Don’t you dare cry,” Harper said. “You’ll ruin your makeup. If I have to stand up there and have this crazy-ass photographer position me like a damn mannequin in some department store window, so do you.” She bumped her hip against mine. “And we are sure as hell going to complete this task looking our finest.”
Harper always had the ability to make anyone smile, and her snarky comments and go-get-’em attitude were always refreshing.
“We’ll talk about that scene between you and Kade after the photographer is done with us.” She
narrowed her eyes, daring me to argue.
The idea of rehashing a time I just wanted to forget even happened turned my stomach. But Harper took no shit from anyone, and if you were her friend, you had to accept that she wouldn’t let you shy away from a challenge.
I refrained from making eye contact with Kade during the photos. I could sense him staring, though, and even caught him watching me on more than one occasion out of the corner of my eye. I just wanted to get this over with and place some much-needed distance between the two of us.
I moved around robotically as the photographer directed me where to stand and how to move. Yet the moment she asked Kade to stand at my side and place his hand on my hip, I clammed up, and nervous energy rushed through my body. Sweat beaded on my forehead, and nausea knotted my stomach. At the touch of his palm, I went rigid and held my breath.
He let out a deep breath and pulled me back against his chest. “Please don’t do that,” he whispered against my ear. “I would never—” He paused as if to control his emotions. “I could never hurt you, Avery. I’m so sorry I scared you.”
I counted to ten in my head, over and over reining in my emotions. I couldn’t break down, not here, not now. I focused on each word being spoken around us and didn’t respond or offer him even a backward glance. Instead, I forced a smile for the camera, pretending I wasn’t completely tied up on the inside.
***
Things between Kade and me were tense during the reception, to say the least. I spent more time hiding in the bathroom than interacting with the rest of the guests. When I wasn’t in there, I used my mother as a barrier along with Harper, who was shooting daggers at Kade every chance she got. She continued to insist I explain what had happened between us, but I miraculously found more than one way to distract her from the topic. When Easton whisked her away to the dance floor, I was more than grateful. Reliving the Kade crisis had been averted.
But after my mother went home and everyone paired up to dance, I was left standing off to the side, feeling alone and vulnerable. When Kade approached me again, my heart raced so fast I felt like I would pass out.
“Please believe me when I say I would never intentionally hurt you, Avery.” His voice was raw with emotion. “Let me explain.”
“It’s okay. Let’s just forget about it,” I insisted.
“I can’t.” He lifted his hand and skimmed my jaw with his fingertips. “I scared you, and I was an ass,” He closed his eyes tightly, then moved in closer and wrapped his arms around me. As his chest pressed firmly against mine, I concentrated on my breathing, trying to maintain my composure.
To anyone around us, we would appear to be dancing to the music, but I knew Kade hugging me like this was his way of apologizing. When I looked up at him, I could see the hurt in his eyes. Something bad had happened between my stepdad and him, and not knowing what it was scared me in a way I didn’t know how to handle.
I lowered my head onto his shoulder once again. “Why don’t you like Robert?” I asked, my voice muffled against his neck.
Kade placed a gentle kiss against my temple, and the deep breath he released fanned out over my shoulder. “I don’t know if telling you is the best idea.”
I pushed against his chest, forcing him to let me go. “You can tell me or he can tell me.” I cleared my throat. “It doesn’t matter to me which one of you does, because I can guarantee you, I will find out. “
“Dance with me,” he said. “Please.”
His evasion only made me more irritated. But I calmed a bit as I noticed his bloodshot eyes and the dark circles under them. He’d obviously been just as stressed today as I was. After a moment, he reached out and took my hand in his, then led me toward the dance floor. Once there, I let him pull me close again, allowing him to take whatever comfort he needed. We swayed through several songs, and he held me near without speaking.
“Jenna was my first love,” Kade suddenly whispered against my neck, startling me. His voice was raspy, gruff, more like a weak whisper. “It was my fault she left upset that night. I made her mad, and I just kept pushing back. I should have just agreed to stay home with her. If I’d done what she wanted, she would still be alive.”
He had never shared anything personal with me. What little I knew about him so far came from our mutual friends, and his past was a subject that was always off limits. When it came to Kade being quiet and withdrawn, they said he had reasons, but that they were his to tell. And now, he was telling me. The idea of him finally opening up overwhelmed and touched me. It truly meant so much.
“I left what felt like seconds after she did to stop her, but I was too late. The accident had already happened. She was already gone.” His voice cracked on the last word.
My chest ached at the pain in his words. I gently rubbed his lower back, offering a soft kiss against the base of his neck. Kade tucked his face a little tighter against mine, bringing our mouths only inches apart. We both remained frozen, unsure of where to go then.
The moment his lips skimmed over mine, I fisted his shirt at his waist. The soft, gentle kiss he placed against my lips was all he offered before resting his forehead against mine. A feeling of strong disappointment settled deep in my stomach. I had wanted his kiss for so long, and he was toying with me, offering only a tease of what I knew he could give. I wanted him to take ahold of me and kiss me with everything he had. Instead, he stepped back from me.
“He hit her,” he said, and confusion washed over me. “Robert is the guy that ran the red light and killed Jenna that night.”
My legs grew weak, and I couldn’t breathe. Voices murmured faintly around me, but I couldn’t tell what they were saying. I felt as if I was in a tunnel that was slowly shrinking in around me.
Chapter Three
Kade
“What happened?” Jude asked as Callie knelt down on the floor next to me. I held Avery against my body as she stared off into space, her eyes unfocused.
“What did you say to her?” Callie snapped as she tried to pry my hands away from her. But I wouldn’t allow it. I held Avery firmly against me and prayed she would respond. I truly didn’t care how. I just needed a reaction from her.
“I was telling her about Jenna.”
Both Jude and Callie turned to look at me.
“What in the hell would you say about Jenna that could cause this reaction?” Callie demanded.
Avery stirred in my arms, and I looked back down at her. “Hey, baby, can you hear me?” I asked.
She squeezed her eyes shut tightly and tried to sit up.
“Hang on, Avery. Go slow,” I directed, but she refused to listen. I kept my hand on her back, doing my best to make sure she was steady enough to sit on her own. After all, less than five minutes ago, I had to catch her as she crumpled to the floor.
“I’m fine,” she insisted.
“You sure about that?” Callie asked.
“Yeah, I, uh.” Her stare connected with mine. “I just felt a little light-headed, but I’m fine now.”
I remained on the floor as Callie and Jude slowly helped her stand and Callie led her to the restroom at the end of the long, narrow hallway just next to the bar. Jude then nudged my shoulder with his hand and reached out to help me up.
“You okay?” he asked.
“No, I’m not okay,” I replied. “I haven’t been okay in a long time.”
I had reached my breaking point tonight, that point when no matter how hard you try to rein in those overwhelming feelings, they just rush through you like a tidal wave. For years I held in the anger and blame, forcing myself to move on, but it all came rushing back the moment I saw Robert. Everything shifted around me, and I was suddenly back to that night, back to the moment I found Jenna’s lifeless body hunched over in her car. The flashing lights, the horn blaring. All the blood on my hands as I sat on the curb while they removed her from the car. Jenna’s head falling to the side as the lowered her to the gurney.
The moment when everything fell apart.
The moment I had drunk so much that my eyes began to cross involuntarily, I decided I’d had enough. I had no idea who helped me from the bar and led me from the reception hall. As we walked, my head bobbed from side to side, and I closed my eyes tightly to refrain from vomiting as the world spun around me and everything blurred together.
Soft lips brushed against the edge of my mouth before a gentle whisper filled my ears. “Please forgive yourself, and forgive him. You need to heal, Kade. Let me help you.”
***
My dreams were filled with reassuring whispers and long, silky blonde hair covering my chest. The soothing trail of fingertips along my abdomen and hip. Soft kisses against my heated skin as I faded in and out of consciousness.
When I woke up alone in my bed, still fully clothed in last night’s attire, I immediately wondered how the hell I got home. Avery’s touch had felt so real, but she wasn’t here. Had I dreamed it?
When Jude entered my bedroom carrying a cup of coffee, I cocked an eyebrow at him. He chuckled and placed the cup on my dresser, which stood at the left of the bed. I guess he’d been the one to take me home.
“Mornin’, sunshine,” he chirped in a very un-Jude-like fashion. “How do you like your eggs?”
“Why, lover boy? You making me breakfast?” I sat up in bed and immediately grabbed my forehead as it began to throb.
“You need to get something in your stomach—besides all that fucking whiskey you consumed last night, I mean.” As he pushed off the edge of the dresser, I noticed a red mark on his left cheek.
