by C. A. Harms
The moment we landed at the airport, I was already calculating the time it would take to get to my apartment and then to the nearest drugstore. I had to know, but I wasn’t ready to share this bit of information with my mother. It could be a false alarm.
After Robert helped me get my luggage inside, I watched out the window of my apartment as they pulled out of the driveway. Once I could no longer see the back of their car, I darted out the door, squeezing my car keys in my hand.
My hands shook the entire way to the store and continued to shake as I walked down the pharmacy aisle, evaluating the number of different pregnancy tests in front of me. I wasn’t sure which one to choose. After finally settling on the midpriced one in a pink-and-white box, I made my way to the front. My hands shook again as I handed the cashier the money. Then, rushing out to my car, I sent a text to Quinn, because damn it, I needed my best friend.
Me: Meet me at my house, please. I need you.
Only a few seconds passed before she sent a response.
Quinn: On my way.
I impatiently waited as I paced my living room floor. It felt like forever until she arrived, yet it had been less than five minutes. I pulled the door open as she walked up the sidewalk with a worried look on her face.
“What’s going on?” she asked as she entered my apartment. “You’re scaring the shit out of me.” I hurried her inside and shut the door behind her without answering her question. “Seriously, Avery, I’m starting to freak out.”
I pointed toward the test lying on my kitchen counter. “I bet you’re not as freaked as I am.”
She scanned the area I had pointed to, and her eyes widened the moment she saw the box. “Are you?”
I shrugged. “I was waiting for you to get here before I took it. I can’t do it alone.”
She nodded, still staring at the box. “Okay, well, let’s get moving, then. The suspense is killing me.” Quinn walked to the counter, picked up the box, and headed toward the bathroom. She paused when she noticed I wasn’t following. “Are you coming?”
“What if it’s positive? What am I gonna do?” Tears welled in my eyes at the thought of carrying Kade’s child.
“Hey, first things first, let’s make sure you even have a reason to ask yourself that,” Quinn insisted.
I walked to her and took the box from her hands.
“I’ll wait right here,” she said, and I entered the bathroom.
Inside, I opened the box and quickly read through the instructions. Once the task was complete, I wadded up some toilet paper and placed the test atop it before setting both in the sink.
As I exited the bathroom, I walked right into Quinn’s welcoming arms. She held me tightly as she guided me to the couch.
“No matter what that test says, everything will be okay. I promise,” she said.
I nodded against her shoulder, hoping like hell she was right.
Chapter Thirteen
Kade
The cab pulled up in front of my apartment and slowed to a stop. I opened the door and concentrated on crawling out. Once my feet were on the ground, the stumbling began, and it was a miracle I didn’t fall flat on my face. I started early today, and driving home from the shop was not an option. As I focused on placing one foot in front of the other, I hadn’t noticed anything around me.
“So you’re still drinking away your days and nights, huh? Pretending your issues will just disappear if you have one more drink.”
I looked up a little too fast and had to brace myself against the wall at the side of my door. Avery sat hidden in the dark just outside the entrance of my building.
“I see you’re back from your cruise,” I mumbled as I concentrated on placing my key in the lock. When I missed a couple times, she finally grew impatient and grabbed the keys from my hand to do it herself.
I stepped back, turning just enough to admire her from the side and letting my mind wander over what she may have been doing these last couple of weeks. My thoughts only made me crave yet another drink.
Once the door was open, I walked straight for the fridge, leaving her standing in the doorway.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” she snapped, annoyance lacing her voice.
I ignored her question and twisted the cap off the bottle I pulled from the refrigerator. I was surprised when Avery reached over my shoulder and yanked it from my hand. Before I could stop her, she tipped it upside down over the sink.
“What the fuck?” I barked out in frustration. The harshness of my tone surprised even me.
“You need to sober up, asshole, and stop trying to drink your damn life away.” She glared at me in disgust. Avery was clearly in a bad mood; she rarely raised her voice. She took a step toward me. “I’m not asking you for romance, and I don’t expect you to love me. But you sure as hell will be in our child’s life. I won’t let you rob him or her of a father because you want to drown your sorrows daily in a bottle of whiskey.”
She walked toward the garbage can and slammed the now-empty bottle into it. It clicked loudly against the bottles I had already gone through.
Avery hung her head for a moment, as if trying to clear her thoughts. She then gently shook her head, and I would have missed it had I not been staring at her, watching her every move.
“Wake up, Kade. You didn’t die that night. She did. I’m sorry to be so blunt, but Jenna is gone. She is not coming back. It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t my dad’s fault. It was an accident, and living in that moment for the rest of your life won’t bring her back.”
Avery’s chest was heaving, and her eyes were glistening with tears she was fighting back.
I had honestly lost track of everything she had said after one specific sentence.
“Our child?” I questioned. I had to have heard her wrong.
“Yes,” she whispered before taking a few calming breaths.
My heart was racing, and I was feeling a little sick. “You’re pregnant?”
When she nodded, my heart rate picked up, and I felt a little dizzy. I mindlessly wandered over to the table and sat down with a hard thud, the chair scooting across the floor with a loud screech.
“It’s mine?” I asked, and her eyes narrowed in anger.
“Yes, Kade. Contrary to what you think, I am not a whore.”
“What about the guy that took you on the cruise?” I asked.
Her eyebrows crinkled in confusion. “I went on the cruise with my mother and stepfather.”
“Your neighbor just said it was some guy.”
“Yeah, well, Nancy is nosy and should mind her own damn business,” Avery mumbled.
Silence set in as I stared back at her, shifting my gaze from her eyes to her stomach. “Are you telling me I’m gonna be a father?” I asked, still feeling like this had to be some sort of a dream.
She only nodded in confirmation.
“Are you sure? I mean…” I paused, because my mind was all over the place. “Have you been to the doctor?”
“I took the test today. I figured it out while I was on the cruise, but there aren’t many places to buy a pregnancy test on board a cruise ship.”
I ran my hand through my hair and rested it at the back of my neck. The idea I was gonna be someone’s father still felt impossible.
“You need to sober up, Kade. I’m not saying I can’t do this alone, because I can. But having you on board would make things a whole lot easier.” Her eyes moistened. “I know firsthand what it feels like to have a father that couldn’t care less. I don’t want our child growing up with that same experience.
“You need to do everything you can to clear your head. Whatever it takes to let go of this guilt and anger you have inside of you, you need to find it. Because you have someone else to think about now. Someone that will look up to you and seek your guidance. If you’re drunk and oblivious all the time, what kind of example are you setting?”
Avery walked toward the door, and I suddenly panicked, her words having pulled me out of my shock
-induced daydream. I didn’t want her to leave me. I took a step in her direction and stopped quickly when she spoke again.
“If you can’t sober up for yourself, at least do it for your child,” she said before exiting my apartment quickly, leaving me with the word child running through my head like a freight train.
Chapter Fourteen
Avery
I had planned on going to my gynecologist alone, but Quinn had taken my car keys out of my hand and climbed behind the wheel of my reliable Chevy Malibu. She then pointed toward the passenger seat and cocked her eyebrow at me, daring me to argue and showing no indication of giving in. Jett and his demanding personality had definitely influenced her. My best friend now knew how to stand her ground with force. Fearful of being late for my first appointment, I let her have her way.
We had been sitting in the waiting area for about twenty minutes when the frumpy, short nurse called, “Avery Nolan.” Nervous energy and excitement rushed through me as I stood up. I reached down to grab my bag from the floor, only to be stopped by a big, strong hand as it wrapped around mine.
“Let me.” A deep voice vibrated through me.
I quickly looked up and gasped as I found myself staring into Kade’s hopeful green eyes.
“What are you doing here?” I whispered. I hadn’t told him where my appointment was. I hadn’t even talked to him since I left his apartment three days ago after telling him I was pregnant.
He hesitated for just a moment before offering me a gentle smile. “Today’s my baby’s first doctor appointment. I couldn’t miss that.”
I twisted around and eyed Quinn knowingly. She quickly averted her eyes, looking off into the distance as if she had nothing to do with Kade showing up here. It didn’t take a genius to see that this entire situation had her and Jett written all over it.
“I hope it’s okay that I’m here,” Kade said hesitantly. I instantly felt guilty for thinking of ways to keep him from going back there with me. This day was something he should be able to be a part of.
“Um.” I cleared my throat. “It’s okay, really. But are you sure you’re up for it? The last thing I want is for you to feel forced into all this.”
“I’m not gonna lie, Avery,” he began. “I’m still a little blown away by the whole thing, but I’m not walking away from you or our baby. I’m here for both of you. That’s a promise,” he assured me with another kind smile.
I had no idea where this new obstacle would lead us, but I had to admit having him here to share it with me felt nice. Even if I still wanted to thump my best friend for throwing me into this situation without warning.
The nurse called my name once more, sounding a little impatient. She held open the door to the back of the clinic, staring at Kade and me as she twisted my file from side to side.
“Well, I guess we better go, then,” I said as I stepped around him.
“I’ll just wait right here,” Quinn announced as she thumbed through the magazine she now held in her hands. She was pretending she was engrossed in whatever was on the page, yet I knew damn well she had her eyes locked on Kade and me not even ten seconds ago. I could only shake my head at her. I would figure out what to do with her later. The sneaky little shit knew when we left that Kade was planning to be here.
As we stepped through the door the nurse held open, Kade rested his palm against the small of my back. It was the gentlest of touches, but it made my heart race in anticipation of more.
I had to clear my head and remind myself this meant nothing. He came for the baby. I couldn’t allow myself to think anything else.
Once we were inside the exam room, the nurse, Linda, passed me a paper gown.
“I need you to undress from the waist down and sit up on the bed. Dr. Miles will be in to see you in a few moments.”
“Thank you,” I whispered as I scanned the room, looking for some shelter from Kade’s curious eyes. When I saw the dark mahogany divider in the corner, a sense of relief washed over me.
The room was silent as I stepped behind the shield and began to undress. My hands were shaking uncontrollably the entire time, and I felt as if my stomach was one large knot. Once I had my bottoms off, I securely wrapped the paper gown around my front and let out a frustrated sigh when I realized my ass would still be exposed.
“Is everything okay?” Kade asked. “Do you need help?”
“Um, no,” I said in a rush. “I’m good.” Silence set in once again, only making my stomach knot even more intensely. “Can you actually turn around?” When he said nothing, I grew more uneasy. “Please,” I whispered.
“I’m not looking, Avery.”
I nodded as if he could see me.
Slowly, I peeked around the side of the divider, and when I confirmed he was, in fact, looking out the window with his back to me, I jumped up onto the table and shimmied back until I was fully seated. Once in place, I tucked the paper gown around my hips the best I could. It was useless to attempt to cover my ass. Realizing how ridiculous I was being, I rolled my eyes at myself.
“You can look now,” I said.
Kade turned from the window and took a few steps toward the chair placed at the side of the bed. Once he sat down, he leaned back and crossed his legs, resting his ankle over his knee. Our gazes locked and he smirked. “You do realize I have seen you naked, right?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “What I remember is you looking at the ceiling or holding your eyes shut tightly while I was unclothed before you. Envisioning someone else while you got yourself off, I’m sure.”
A stunned look replaced his once-cocky smile. “Avery, that’s not what I was—”
Someone knocked on the door, and I was secretly happy the doctor had chosen that specific moment to enter. I didn’t want to rehash the night Kade and I had shared. The only good thing about that mistake was the little miracle I now carried.
“Hello, Ms. Nolan,” the doctor said as he gave me a kind smile.
Today was the first time I’d ever seen Dr. Miles, who had replaced my original doctor when he retired a few months ago. Dr. Miles appeared to be in his mid to late thirties and was tall and fit. His smile was gentle, and the idea of what I was about to have him do, with Kade in the room, suddenly made me feel nauseous. Talk about most embarrassing moments.
I was seriously going to kill Quinn and Jett, because I knew he was her accomplice. They were a team.
Chapter Fifteen
Kade
Fate had to be playing some cruel fucking joke on me right now. All I wanted to do was explain to Avery that she couldn’t be more wrong about our night together, but now it had to wait. The situation had just grown a whole lot more tense. Not only did she want to hide herself from me, covering her body as much as the paper gown would allow, I now had to sit back while some young doctor sat between her thighs and fiddled with her pussy. Why couldn’t the doctor be a woman?
“My name is Dr. Paxton Miles.” He held out his hand to Avery, and she offered hers in return. “It’s nice to meet you, Avery.”
She smiled politely, offering a “me too” in return.
A nurse we hadn’t yet met wheeled in a machine of some kind behind the doctor. Once she had it positioned next to the bed, she excused herself from the room.
Miles then turned to me and held out his hand. “Don’t worry, this is just the machine that will allow us to see your child today. You must be the father?”
I bit my tongue because I really wanted to say, “Hell fucking yes, I’m the father.” The need to stake a claim I had no right to stake was strong. Instead, I offered a firm handshake and a quick nod.
“Great.” He turned back to Avery as he pulled up a chair and took a seat directly in front of her. “Your chart says you found out by taking a home pregnancy test, and we confirmed the results here at the office.”
“Yes. I was late, so…” Her gaze wandered over to mine. I could sense how nervous she was, and I didn’t like the idea of her feeling uneasy around me.
&nb
sp; “All right, first I’m going to examine you and we’ll perform an internal sonogram,” the doctor explained. “You’re still early on in your pregnancy, so I believe the sonogram will be our best chance to get a good look at your little one. We’ll take some measurements and attempt to make the best determination of your projected due date. If you could slide forward and place your feet in the stirrups,” he directed as he put on a pair of latex gloves and slid closer to the edge of the bed.
“A little farther until you feel the edge of the bed against your bottom,” he said as she wiggled down.
I cringed every time he spoke, and I could feel my jaw tensing with irritation. True, she wasn’t mine, but she was carrying my child, and the idea of him—or any man, for that matter—touching Avery pissed me off.
“Okay, spread your knees apart just a little more,” Dr. Fucking Miles said.
I gripped the arm of the chair so tightly my fingers began to cramp. I zoned out then, because the stale silence while he examined Avery was driving me out of my mind.
“Okay, you are going to feel the wand,” he said. “Just a little pressure. Here it comes.”
The wand? What the fuck? I was just about to open my mouth and tell him how much I didn’t like what he was doing to Avery but stopped immediately when a swooshing filled the room. My stare instantly connected with Avery’s, and her eyes widened in surprise.
I had seen enough movies to know the sound was the heartbeat of our child. In that moment, everything became so clear. Though we hadn’t set out to conceive that baby, right now I couldn’t be happier it existed. The rhythm of our baby’s heart was almost hypnotizing, and we both remained silent, just taking it in. I think I could have sat in that room all day, listening to the sound of our baby.
“The heartbeat sounds strong,” the doctor said. I hadn’t even realized I’d glared at him for interrupting that beautiful sound until I looked at Avery. She narrowed her eyes in a silent warning that I’d better rein in my attitude.
