Hearth, Home, and Havoc

by RJ Blain

  “You probably shouldn’t admit that to me. I’m technically part of general law enforcement.”

  “Pity. So, Mr. Law Enforcement, this is entirely theoretical, of course, but if I were to kill someone, what is the best way to hide the body?”

  “Incinerate it and feed the ashes to a phoenix. Alternatively, as I doubt incineration is an option for most, use a really deep hole—twenty feet minimum, deeper if you can manage. If you want to make sure no one finds the body, mulch him before dumping him in. A remote location prone to rockslides is useful. If the killer happens to know a trustworthy gorgon, smashed statues are hard to identify.”

  “Tell me more,” I murmured, licking my lips.

  “I can’t tell if you’re hitting on me or turning me into an accomplice.”

  “Can’t it be both?”

  “Considering I’ve already told you I’m not a good man, I suppose there’s no reason it can’t be both. I’ve never planned a murder as pillow talk before. Why not? I wasn’t all that good at the law enforcement gig anyway. I just have a useful talent. This is the first time I’ve been invited to help with a murder.”

  “There was a dead squirrel in my sink, and I thought I’d liked to drown him. But if I drowned him in my sink, it’d be hard to hide the body.”

  “You sound so disappointed.”

  “I am.” I scowled. “I’d say he took my son from me, but I was the trusting idiot—”

  “Ensorcelled,” he corrected.

  I shot him a glare and grunted. “Fool. I was a fool. There’s no proof there’s nothing more to it that my stupidity and greed. There’s no proof he had influenced me before we got married.”

  “The divine don’t just pick anyone, Dakota. The type of woman capable of bringing a goddess into the world isn’t the type to be that much of a fool. No, I think he wanted you for a purpose.”

  “Our son.”

  “Likely. Does he know about Hestia?”

  I shook my head, but then I hesitated and shrugged. “I don’t think so. I’ve tried to keep her hidden.”

  “He could be insane. Putting him down would be for everyone’s good. We’d be doing the world a favor.”

  I stalked towards him, prowling around the bed, watching him through my lashes. “Tell me more.”

  His smirk once again promised trouble, and I looked forward to enjoying every moment of it.

  Chapter Six

  Viktor tricked me, and I didn’t mind a bit. He distracted me so thoroughly I didn’t care about anything other than him. Instead of murderous pillow talk, I slept. When I woke, I discovered I held his arm in a white-knuckled grip. He worked on his phone, and when he caught me watching him, he smirked. “Good evening, sleepy.”

  Yawning proved him right, and I stretched, wincing at my stiff, sore muscles. “What time is it?”

  “Seven. If you’d like to go out for dinner, there’s time to take a shower if you want. We won’t be heading back to California today. Until you’re capable of lasting a few hours without wanting to jump every attractive man you see, and you can stay awake for several continuous hours, we’re staying here. Standard CDC procedure, and the room bill is going to your ex-husband.”

  I liked the sound of that. “Room service, as expensive as we can make it?”

  He chuckled. “Would be billed to him, yes.”

  “I like the sound of that. Did I miss anything?”

  “Remember lunch?”

  I shook my head.

  “I’m not surprised. You did a pretty good imitation of a zombie. You slept right through when I called in a vampire to make sure there were no additional beguilements; Annie wasn’t certain she’d gotten them all, and when Annie isn’t sure, I worry. Fortunately, she had. You’re clean.”

  “Oh. That’s good. Was I bitten again?” I checked my arm for any new puncture marks but couldn’t find any.

  “No. As there was no need, I refused on your behalf. You’ve been traumatized enough. Now that the worst is over, you deserve to be pampered while you’re recovering.”

  “I appreciate that.” I did, too. I couldn’t remember the last time anyone had actually pampered me. Until I got a few minutes to think, I refused to worry about it. I turned my attention to the bathroom door. “Is there a decent tub in this place?”

  “There’s a Jacuzzi.”

  I bolted out of bed and beelined for the door. “You’re welcome to join me.”

  “If I do that, we’ll never leave the room.”

  “That’s what room service is for, and you already told me Adken has to pay for my indulgences. With room service, we don’t have to leave.” I giggled, slipped inside the marble-tiled bathroom, and examined the tub trying to learn its secrets. “How’d you score such a nice room on such short notice?”

  “Thank the CDC; they keep ongoing reservations at nice hotels as part of its operations. Creature comforts go a long way towards helping victims recover. Whenever security is a concern, the CDC pulls from their reservation pool on the top floor of good hotels, as is the case with you. If that bastard tries to get to you here, he’ll regret it. I’m not the only CDC agent in the building. I’m just the one who has no scruples about killing the bastard and tossing his body off the balcony.”

  A chill ran through me. “They haven’t caught him yet?”

  “No, not yet. Don’t worry. He’s not going to get near you, not with me around.” Viktor joined me in the bathroom, leaving clothing strewn in his wake. Dressed, he checked off all my boxes. In the nude, he tempted me; I wanted to kidnap and take him home with me.

  I smiled, fiddled with the faucets until the temperature was just right, and stepped into the tub, kicking at the water. Snatching the first bottle on the ledge I found, I read the label and decided shampoo would work.

  He rescued the bottle and replaced it with the larger, blue one just out of my reach. “This one is for bubbles. The other one is for your hair. Also, I owe you a theoretical discussion on the methods one might use to commit the perfect murder.”

  “Yes, let’s discuss this.” I sat, scooted over, and made room for him. “If I dig a very deep hole, fill it with water, and drown him, will his body float? Do I need to hold him down while I throw rocks at him?”

  He chuckled and joined me in the tub. “If we get a long enough pole, we can hold him down until we’ve buried him enough to make certain he stays down.” Once settled beside me, he slid his arm around me and pulled me close. “You’re nowhere near as shy as I thought you’d be.”

  “Why would you think I’m shy?”

  “According to your charming two-year-old, you’re terrified of men.”

  I splashed Viktor with sudsy water. “Do I look terrified to you? I just have a really bad history of going to bars, getting black-out drunk, and never remembering if I went home with someone that night. I can tell you, without question, I was successful at least once.”

  Viktor’s brows rose. “You have no idea who Hestia’s father is, do you?”

  “Not a clue in hell, and I’ve no intention of looking for him. Surprising someone with fatherhood because drunk as a skunk me forgot birth control isn’t how I want to start any conversation. I also don’t want him getting a monthly taunt over how I accidentally ruined his life with my stupidity.”

  “There should be limitations to how self-sacrificing someone can be. Also, we’re covered on the birth control front. I called in a favor or two from an incubus, so I’m infertile until I ask him to reverse it. The CDC is pretty careful about making certain suppressed women don’t get any surprises nine months down the road.”

  Damn it. I’d forgotten birth control again. “See? I’m an idiot,” I muttered.

  He chuckled and kissed the top of my head. “You’re fine. It was my job to remember the details. You’re going to have to try to remember in any future adventures you may want to go on with men unless you want another unexpected little one under foot.”

  I sighed. “I got short changed last time. She stayed a
baby for a month. While I appreciated the limited destruction during her toddler phase, it only lasted a few weeks. She stalled out at five or so for a little while, but when your five-year-old child is playing scrabble with the librarian because your vocabulary is too limited for her, it’s hard. I haven’t seen Nolan since he turned five.”

  I’d missed everything with both of my children.

  “Nolan’s your son?”

  I nodded.

  “Well, I can tell you this much: your ex-husband’s actions have put you in a position to make a custody claim. All prior arrangements, with the exception of the restraining order, are to be investigated. It might take a while to have a full custody claim pushed through the courts, and current guardianship arrangements will hold until it can be processed, but you have options—options your ex will have to pay for as the aggressor.”

  I splashed at the water and stretched out my feet so I could turn the faucet off with my toes. “Or we could accept I’m guilty of bouts of shameful stupidity.”

  “We’re going to have to work on that.”

  “We’re?” While I had to squirm and stretch, I managed to reach the jets, flicking them on. “When did my problems become our problems?”

  “Around the time I decided I’d fight an incubus to be the one keeping you company. I had to play dirty to win, too.”

  Interesting. After the jets rumbled to life, the soothing scents of lavender and lilac filled the air. With a pleased murmur, I relaxed. “Why?”

  “You deserve better, and why should I trust anyone else to make certain you’re treated right?”

  Prince Charming didn’t ride a white horse; he wore worn shoes, worked with law enforcement, and as needed, helped plan a murder. “Are you trying to seduce me, Mr. Jenkins?”

  “Yes.”

  I loved an honest man. I knew exactly what he wanted, which fell in line with what I wanted. And if he did want something else from me, I could always decide later, after I sorted out the messy tangle my life had become. “I can work with that, but I’ll warn you now: pull any of Adken’s shit, and I’ll be hiding two bodies.”

  “If you can’t trust me with anything else, trust me with this. I’ll do my best to treat you far better than he ever could, as I don’t want to die.”

  I giggled. “I can work with that. Carry on with your seduction, Mr. Jenkins. I don’t have all day.”

  Viktor laughed.

  While I suspected an incubus lurked nearby turning me into a Viktor-hunting fiend, my willing victim didn’t seem to mind. It took two days until I could look at him without getting certain ideas, after which I slept for twelve hours straight.

  Since Viktor didn’t seem concerned, I went with the flow.

  Two days with him gave me hope there were still a few good men left in the world, which didn’t help me in the grand scheme of things. I could keep my hands off him, but I didn’t want to.

  Damn it.

  Avoiding the reality of returning to California made it easier to hide in the hotel with him, but as always, my guilt surfaced and ate away at me. I needed to go home, but I didn’t want to lose the sense of security I found in Viktor’s company. With Adken, my worries had been constant, and a single wrong word could trigger unwanted advances and, in rare times, violence.

  The first time he’d left one side of my face purpled had been the last, but I’d never forgotten the fear.

  With Viktor, I wanted only him, and I wondered if he was even capable of raising his voice. Even the times I’d woken up confused and fighting mad, he’d given me space, waited for me to remember what had happened, and smiled when the horror of lashing out took hold.

  When I returned home, I’d lose everything I hadn’t known I’d wanted. I’d stolen a few days of peace and pleasure, and soon, I’d have to let him go and return to my life.

  I supposed Adken’s attempt had clarified things for me. I didn’t want to go back to fixing cars. I’d done it out of spite, to prove I could be useful and do something productive with myself. I didn’t know what I wanted to do.

  He’d stolen that from me, too. Day by day, as the pieces he’d suppressed stirred, the little things fell into place.

  I didn’t really like chocolate, but I’d eaten it because it was expected of me. I didn’t like most alcohols, either. I couldn’t even imagine why I’d thought it worthwhile to go out to a bar in the first place.

  I loved steak far more than I thought, and I’d asked for something with beef at every chance.

  The one night we went out on the town, I discovered I enjoyed wearing tight leather pants and a matching coat, and that playing pretend in a city filled with magic was far more enjoyable with the right company. Instead of alcohol, I spent the night intoxicated on Viktor.

  I didn’t want to go home without him. I didn’t want to face everything I knew I would have to the instant I returned to California.

  A call to a lawyer could begin a custody battle I couldn’t realistically afford. I could submit the unfair litigation claim without help; of all the forms California had to offer, it was the easiest, three pages of information I knew by heart.

  “If you keep gnawing on your lip, you’re going to chew it off. What’s bothering you?”

  I sighed and stared at the floor. “What isn’t? I’m going home to a disaster.”

  “How so? Your boss was notified, and the CDC filed for restitution on your behalf. The tentative claim approval is already in; at the minimum, you’re owed at least half a million dollars, to be paid immediately. They’ll garner your ex’s bank account sometime this week. As that’s the absolute minimum, you won’t have to wait for the funds. I expect you’ll have the money by Friday. The CDC provided a replacement for you until you’re ready to return to work, and they’ve authorized a six-month leave. You have time. Take the six months and figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life. It’ll work out. Your ex would be a fool to come near you at this point.”

  “And what about Nolan?”

  “I don’t know. I wish I had the answers for you, but I don’t know the procedures in cases like this. All I know is that you do have the choice to file for custody, but I don’t know anything about how it’s done. For now, I expect they’ll do what’s least disruptive for him, but that’s just a guess on my part. I wish I had a better answer for you.”

  I wished he had a better answer, too. All there was left to do was add some steel to my spine, head home, and deal with the aftermath.

  Chapter Seven

  As I predicted, I parted ways with Viktor at the airport, and as I wanted him to think well of me, I bid him a cheerful farewell. No strings attached, magically induced lust wasn’t love. It couldn’t be, although it made for a good starting point, I supposed.

  Until I learned who I really was all over again, Viktor needed to remain nothing more than a favorite memory.

  I wouldn’t like it, but I could live with my choice.

  Hestia was waiting for me at my apartment, and she stared at me with teary eyes. “Are you all right?”

  Damn it. I couldn’t lie to her, not even when she looked ready to cry. “I will be. I’m sorry it took me so long to come home.”

  My daughter shook her head. “The CDC explained you needed therapy, and that you needed help I can’t provide.”

  I choked on my spit. Coughing, I beat a hasty retreat to the kitchen for a glass of water. If I ever saw Viktor again, I’d have to tell him he classified as therapy. While I was at it, I’d sign up for frequent sessions.

  If my lust for the man didn’t ebb soon, I’d be a mess before the end of the week.

  “Therapy is probably a good idea,” I conceded. “I’ll look into it.”

  “You’re really okay? You took a bad fall down those steps.”

  It took gargantuan effort to keep my expression neutral. “I slept it off. I’m fine now.”

  “Good! The CDC told me you’re off work for the next six months, and the replacement they sent to help Mr. Rogers is a ne
at lady. She’s hoping the sperm donor shows up, because if she gets her hands on him, he’ll probably die a terrible death. She’s a shocker, and she’s eager to give him a dose of her special brand of medicine. I really do hope she kills him,” my daughter snarled.

  I already regretted I hadn’t gotten Viktor’s address or phone number. It meant I wouldn’t be able to send him a proper invitation to my ex’s murder. “It’s all right, baby.”

  “Is there anything I can do? I’m sorry, Mom. I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know what. If…”

  “You did nothing wrong, Hestia. But there is something you can help me with.”

  Her expression brightened. “What?”

  I allowed myself a grim smile. “One day, you’re going to help me dig a really deep hope. Then, after all this has settled, maybe a few years down the road, when Nolan’s an adult, you’re going to help me locate my ex-husband. Once we find him, I’ll be accepting your offer to help me hide the body. You will not break a single one of your rules in this endeavor. Am I understood?”

  For better or worse, I’d reclaim my life and get payback for being a victim for so long.

  Hestia’s eyes widened. “Oh.”

  “Just make certain you don’t violate any of your rules. Helping me dig a hole so I can hide his body is enough. Understood?”

  “Yes, Mom. But why a hole?”

  “It won’t just be any hole. It’ll be a deep hole, one so deep no one will find his body for a long time. I’ve learned from a reliable source it should be at least twenty feet deep. If we use a long enough pole, we can make sure he stays down after I’ve finished drowning the bastard.”

  “You’re really planning to kill him.”

  “Turnabout is fair play. He stole my life from me. I’m stealing his in retaliation. I’m being merciful. I won’t toy with him long before I finish him off.”

  My daughter gulped. “I’ve learned something very important today.”

  Crossing my arms, I regarded my daughter with a raised brow. “What did you learn today?”