by Nova Raines
I curl deeper into his threadbare couch and hug my phone to my chest, staring at the blank TV screen across from me. Rowan took all Dad’s electronics and coffee table when I left the penthouse, but he refused the rest. We sold it for a tenth of what it was probably worth. But at least now we have grocery money.
Row’s music drifts out from under his bedroom door. It’s the same song he’s been working on all week. There’s something incredibly haunting about it. Sad. And it hasn’t done much to lift my mood, but I can’t deny how good it is.
I check my phone again. No message from Kaidan. It’s five p.m. on Saturday, and I’m running out of time to get ready for whatever event he wanted me to attend. I’m going to have to get up the courage to call him soon.
My phone beeps. A text from Char. We spend the next five minutes texting back and forth.
Are you going to the Stone label party tonight?
I think so.
Tell me everything!!! I’m at the salon right now.
I’ll fill you in. Eventually.
I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!
You were having fun with Matt. It’s fine. See you tonight! :)
I hope it seems like I’m excited to see her and go to this party.
See you there! Btw Check Lust List!
That’s intriguing, and I’m too bored to keep myself from checking. I pull up ScandalLust and let out a sigh when I see who it is. They’ve got a new #1.
Rowan Wade – Up and Coming Producer
So much for the simple life. There’s a paparazzi picture of him walking in Santa Monica. I recognize it, because it’s the same one they used a few days ago to report I’d moved in with him. Only they’ve cut me out of it this time.
I go over to Rowan’s room and knock. When he doesn’t answer, I gently push the door open and get to hear the melancholy song at full volume again.
He looks up at me from his computer and pauses the music. “What’s up?”
I hand him the phone, and he groans. “Should I be flattered?”
“At least you’ll have your pick of women now.”
He winks at me. “I didn’t need any help.”
I have an unwelcome flashback to the girl in the DJ booth and feel my face flush. “I don’t need to be reminded.”
He hands me back my phone like he barely cares, and I look at his computer screen.
“So what is this song for?”
“Just something.”
“Come on. Tell me.”
He shrugs and doesn’t look at me. “Well. There’s this book series I love. It’s being made into a movie. They haven’t picked the producer for the soundtrack yet.”
“That’s cool! Which movie?”
“It’s called Better World.”
“Wait…” I think back to the HIT awards. “Zoe North is supposed to star in that, right?”
“Maybe. It’s not official yet.”
“And… I thought Ethan Beckham was doing the soundtrack.”
Rowan shrugs and doesn’t look at me. “Nothing’s official.”
I give him a quick half-hug. “I have to say, the song’s super-depressing. But it’s also really, really good.”
Rowan looks up at me from his chair, and there’s a glint of something in his eyes. “I’m sorry I was such an ass to you when you came back. I should’ve been there for you.”
“And I shouldn’t have judged you for your career choice. I think you’re meant to be doing this.”
He smiles at that, but then our happy sibling moment is broken by a knock at the door.
“I’ll check.” I bound back out to the living room, and when I open the door, I find the stylist who came to my penthouse. She and her clothing rack are crammed in the narrow hallway, and she looks extremely stressed out to be here.
“Dresses for you, ma’am,” she says, exasperated. “From Kaidan Stone.”
I move out of the way as she and her helper drag the rack into Rowan’s living room and try to make it fit between the coffee table and TV.
I try not to laugh out loud at the look on the stylist’s face. She snaps at the guy helping her, and I try to help with the rack. “Thank you. I’m sure they’ll be perfect.”
She looks around the room and seems to be trying to hide her dismay. “Indeed.”
The guy she’s with hands me a sticky note with an apologetic smile. “Hey, this was on your door.”
“Thanks.” I go back and open the door wide so this snooty stylist can show herself out.
When they’re gone, I look down at the note.
I’m so sorry, Hayley! I didn’t know! I swear I didn’t say anything to the tabloids. If you need anyone to talk to, we’re just across the hall. I promise I won’t invite you to any more auditions.
~Jade
I shake my head, amused. Maybe I will go talk to her sometime.
I put the note down and examine what the stylist brought over. Even with the end of me and Kaidan hanging over my head, nothing can ruin the feeling of excitement I get at the prospect of putting together a stylish ensemble.
***
There are half a dozen gorgeous party dresses, but a deep purple one stands out in a unique way, and I know without looking who made it. It’s a Calypso Day, like the amazing dress I wore to the HIT Awards. I’m not sure how I know… I just do. I drag the clothing rack into my new cramped bedroom and get ready in front of the closet door, which thankfully sports a full-length mirror.
The dress is form-fitting and caresses every curve I have. It’s a dark plum taffeta with braided gold straps and a bust that drops down in a deep V between my breasts. No bra tonight, then. The dress is gathered at my lower back, and gorgeous deep plum flower shapes cascade down the back to the mid-thigh hem. A thin gold thread is woven through the flowers to give them life and shape. The same gold thread is used on the bodice for contrast. I throw on some gold heels to match, then check out the jewelry.
There’s a gold choker in the hanging jewelry case and a few chunky gold rings inset with natural stones. I pick the ones sporting the purple stones. My eye catches a thin armband etched with scrollwork. Perfect. It twines around my arm several times and completes the look. Calypso certainly knows how to start new trends. I’m going to have to meet her someday.
I glance at the infinity symbol bracelet Kaidan gave me, which is in my own jewelry box, but it’s lost its meaning for me. Kaidan no longer wants me, and besides… hasn’t every gift he’s ever given me been picked out by someone else?
I’m stuck doing my own hair and make-up, so I improvise. I take a front section of my hair off to the side of my part and braid it across my scalp, so it twines around my head. Then I gather all my hair, including the end of the braid, in a messy, low bun.
I keep my make-up minimal, going for light sparkle eye shadow, lots of shimmer on my cheekbones, dark brown mascara, and light gloss.
I’d usually never do such a laid-back look, but it makes me feel fresh, like I can be someone else tonight.
I look at my green eyes in the mirror, the imperfect scatter of freckles across the bridge of my nose… and suddenly… I forgive myself. For all my mistakes. For the stealing. For the lies. Maybe Kaidan and I are over, but I learned something important from him. And from Rowan.
I’m not my parents. I don’t have to live in their shadow. I can pursue the things I love. And I don’t need anyone’s permission or approval to do it. I can start controlling my own life right now.
But that doesn’t have to mean walking away from Kaidan. Tonight, it means trying one more time to win him back. Because I want him in this new life I’m planning.
“Wow, Hay.”
I turn around and grin at Rowan. He looks impressed.
“Ha. I thought you hated this kind of stuff.”
“I do. But you… you look great. Like…”
“Mom?”
He shakes his head. “Nope. Like yourself. I came to tell you Charles is here to pick you up.”
“Thank
s.” I give him a hug, glad he didn’t bring up me and Kaidan again. Then I grab the purple leather clutch that came with the dress and head out the door.
The paps snap away the second I step into the dusk light, and adrenaline surges through me as I turn my game on. I’m on display, and I’m ready for it.
Charles leads me to the Jag, trying to keep his body between me and all the paps, but it’s not possible. They’re everywhere.
So I smile confidently at them and give them a good picture. Let them think I’m happy and that everything’s perfect. Even if I don’t get Kaidan back tonight, I’ll play the part he asked me to play.
When I slide into the backseat, I realize it’s just me and Charles. As he pulls away from the apartment building I ask him where Kaidan is.
“We’ll be meeting Mr. Stone’s limo near the event.”
Ouch. Kaidan doesn’t even want to be in the car with me. The thought rattles my resolve, but I settle back for the ride and try to relax. I won’t be desperate or sad or let his anger hurt me. I did lie, and he has every right not to trust me or want to be with me.
We’ll see how he feels after the night’s over.
The Jag follows a side street to get to Kaidan’s limo, which is waiting a block from LUSH, in a long line of other limos. Is that where we’re headed tonight?
Charles helps me out of the Jag, and I hurry to the limo and get inside. I feel like I’m sneaking around, doing something wrong.
I sit down adjacent to Kaidan, and as my eyes adjust to the dimmer interior light, I take him in. He looks gorgeous, clean shaven, his hair perfectly styled… so goddamn handsome it hurts. Will he ever touch me again like he did before? Longing courses through me, and I meet his eyes.
His lips part, and his eyes darken—with lust—as they trail my body, take in how I’m dressed. I straighten in the seat and meet his returning gaze straight on, unembarrassed. If he likes what he sees, he can have it. He only has to give us another chance.
But then he averts his eyes and sips the glass of dark liquor he’s got in his hand. Rum, no doubt. “Do you want a drink?”
“Yes. Sure.”
The limo inches forward while Kaidan opens the mini bar.
He goes for the champagne, but I hold up a hand. “Rum on the rocks. Like yours.”
His brow goes up, but he makes me one. When he hands me the glass, our fingertips touch, and a current of electricity passes between us, leaving me breathless.
Does he really not feel it?
I can’t tell because his face is masked as he settles back in the seat. “I’m not sure if you read the news, but… a particular drug operation was shut down a few days ago. Luis and the rest of them will be going to jail for a long time.”
I hadn’t seen the news, and another bit of stress slips off my shoulders. It really is over. “Thank you. That’s good to know.”
I sip my drink and try to enjoy it. But the rum is strong stuff. The limo inches forward a few more feet.
“And that paparazzi you pepper sprayed? He was planning to sue. But I took care of him for you.” His voice is deep, business-like… impersonal.
“Does that mean you’re my new lawyer?” I ask playfully.
He doesn’t take the bait. “I don’t really think that’s for the best. Do you?”
I shrug. The limo inches forward a few more feet and stops. I drain my rum for the liquid courage. “Kai… Before we go in… can we talk about this? I’m sorry, and—”
“I’d really rather not. Just smile for the cameras and do your part. This will be over soon enough.”
He’s trying to hurt me. And that just pisses me off. Yes, I lied to him. But he’s treating me the way my brother used to. Like a fuck-up he can’t wait to be rid of. The thought numbs the pain, makes me care less about how this night goes.
“Whatever you say.” I smirk as the driver opens the door for us. “I know how to smile for the cameras. Might be somethin’ you wanna work on.”
Then I take the driver’s hand and let him help me out of the limo. We are at LUSH, and it looks like Stone Records bought the club out tonight. The first place I kissed Kaidan. The thought comes unbidden, and I push it down.
There’s no real differentiation between fans and paps out here—they’re flooding the sidewalks between security. A short red carpet extends from our limo to the entrance, and Kaidan and I walk down it, stopping in a few spots to smile for the cameras.
“Hayley!”
“Hayley Wade!”
They’re calling Kaidan’s name, too, but unlike every other time we’ve been together, they’re calling my name just as loudly.
I stand tall and give the cameras my best smile as people call my name. Excitement floods me with the thrill of the glamour, the red carpet, the cameras.
Then the rush is over. We’re at the door, and I’m riding the high as we enter the club.
Kaidan grabs my hand, and a little bit of the electricity I felt in the car travels up my arm. I flash him a seductive look, for the benefit of everyone watching, of course. He drops my hand like I burned him.
I smile anyway, ignoring his slight, and watch his back as he walks away from me to the bar to grab us drinks.
Colored lights are flashing everywhere, and Stone Label music is pounding through the speaker system. All around me, people are staring, talking about me and Kaidan. I ignore them and glance around. It’s pretty packed already, despite the fact that it’s only eight p.m. It’s gonna be a long night, especially if I’m supposed to maintain my smile while Kaidan acts like I’m a walking disease.
At the end of the main dance floor, there’s a stage I didn’t see the last time I was here. A huge banner next to the stage displays the names of the acts playing tonight.
STONE RECORD LABEL PRESENTS
Introducing Turbulent Ray
Serena Lynn
Cylon Smash
Bia
Ethan Beckham
There’s a few more listed after them in a smaller font, but I stop reading the names. This impromptu celebration was well-done. But I guess Papa Stone can call in the big guns when something as scandalous as embezzlement happens on his watch. I wonder if any of his clients lost money.
Kaidan returns with my usual fruity drink. I’m grateful he didn’t bring me another rum on the rocks. He does know me. We move deeper into the club. Kaidan stops here and there to greet clients—schmoozing them, acting happy and confident, when I know how he really feels inside. He’s anything but.
When we stop to mingle with Cylon Smash, lead singer Ender Varrone winks at me from beneath that messy, long black hair and leans close. “My bed’s free tonight, lovely… just for you.”
I roll my eyes, smirking, and push him away. “Sounds like you’re sleeping alone tonight, then.”
He smirks at me, his eyes dark. “I never sleep alone.”
I return my attention to Kaidan. He shoots Ender a dark look, but he doesn’t look at me at all. Does he care, then? Would he care if I went home with Ender tonight?
I keep trying to smile and act happy as we make the rest of the rounds, shake hands when I need to, and keep up my act. But after the second hour of this, I start to lose it. My earlier thrill has long since faded, and this pasted on smile is starting to hurt.
And every genuine smile or laugh Kaidan gives to another person reminds me how he’s casually ignoring me while making me follow him around the club pretending to be his girlfriend.
I’m a bit drunk by the time I excuse myself and head for the ladies’ room, and that’s when Char and Matt Lin find me.
Char looks stunning in a miniskirt, tank, and boots. She squeals and wraps me in a hug. “You have to tell me everything!”
“I will.” I wave at Matt and then let Char pull me away from him a few steps.
“Well?” she asks.
“Well? How is Matt Lin?!”
She lets out a loud sigh and glances over at him with bright eyes. “Ooooh, girl. He’s amazing. And… he definit
ely has a V.I.P.”
I laugh with her. I really am happy for her, but I’m still not ready to spill the details about the past week.
“So tell me what’s going… on.” Her eyes widen, and I turn to find Kaidan beside me again. He just won’t let up.
Kaidan gives Matt a pat on the back in greeting and flashes Charlotte a grin. “Mind if I steal her for a little bit?”
“I’ll tell you later,” I say to Char.
Char waves bye to me and then immediately locks lips with Matt in a passionate kiss.
Kaidan’s hand is tight on mine as he leads me to one of the side rooms. It turns out to be the blue velvet room… the same one where we first made out. But it’s deserted now. And too quiet.
I turn to look up at him, and I can tell by his eyes he’s remembering, too.
He clenches his jaw tight. “You can’t tell anyone about our arrangement. Or what went down with…”
“Fine. I won’t. I won’t say a word.” I try to walk back through the door, but he steps in the way, stopping me.
He stares down into my eyes, and the way he’s looking at me makes my heart speed up. It’s how he used to look at me. Before I betrayed him.
My hand finds its way to his chest, and his hand closes over mine. I can feel the warmth of him through his shirt, feel the steady thump of his heart.
He’s staring into my eyes with intensity, and my face flushes.
The music cuts out on the other side of the heavy velvet curtain, and someone starts to speak.
The moment ends, just like that. Kaidan licks his lips. “Come on. I have to introduce the artist.”
He grabs my hand, but this time, something’s different. He holds tight and doesn’t let me go until we’ve reached the stage, and he has to leave me to take the mic.
My palm tingles where he just held it. What was that back there? The way he looked at me… the way he held my hand. It meant something. Didn’t it?
I just happen to glance back toward the door. My thoughts scatter as I see Peyton Mackenzie walking through it. Okay, stumbling. She’s a mess and not walking straight at all. Definitely drunk. She must have been drunk to pick out the baggy dress thing she’s wearing.
