After all of her protests that she didn’t want to jump from one man’s arms into another’s, Karise tried really hard not to spend the entire evening staring at Aidan. Still, after the frustration of the past several weeks, being in the same room with him brought inexplicable joy and she couldn’t quite help staring just a little.
He’d shaved that day and traded in his T-shirt for a deep blue button-down that made the color of his eyes even more startling. The top button was undone. His exposed throat drew Karise’s eyes to it more than once. She licked her lips subconsciously. Despite his cleaned-up appearance, he still wore jeans like they were invented for him.
Every so often, the looks they exchanged would time just so, and she’d find herself trapped by his gaze. Whenever she did, heat would radiate out from her core. If looks could caress, his did. Hers, admittedly, was more of a grope. She mentally grimaced at her lack of self control. She placed a hand flat on her belly, willing herself to get a grip before straightening out the folds on her cerulean wrap dress. His eyes followed the movement of her hands, making her wish he were unwrapping her.
Karise was glad her dark complexion hid the flush she could feel creeping into her cheeks. She renewed her efforts to focus on the conversation flittering all around her. Like William and his friends, these people were young and beautiful. They dressed for dinner, went to interesting places, and seemed to thrive on intelligent conversation. Unlike William’s friends, they weren’t above a good fit of giggles, even if it was directed at their own folly.
Soaking in the goings-on around her, sipping on a good pinot and nibbling on the assortment of cheese and other goodies laid out in front of her, Karise was happier than she’d been in a long time.
“What’s this one?” she asked Aidan, holding up her new favorite treat.
“It’s my Asiago-style creation. It’s so new I haven’t even figured out what to name it.”
“Heaven on a cracker,” Karise suggested.
“Try it with fruit.”
“Don’t make it more appealing,” she protested. “I’ve already made a glutton of myself.”
“Then I probably shouldn’t ask if you’ve tried this one.” Liz pushed a platter toward her.
“Don’t put it in front of me.”
Liz placed a hand on her stomach. “But I’ve already made myself ill, I’ve eaten so much.”
“Next time I think we should go dancing.” Kate eyed the plate that was now on her end of the table.
“No fair dancing while I still feel like a whale.” Jessica shook her head.
“Then find us something else to do so we can burn calories instead of consuming them.”
“Do you want me to put the food away?” Aidan offered.
“Touch the plate at your own peril.” Karise placed a possessive hand around her favorite cheese and pulled it closer to her.
Aidan’s lip twitched, but his response was cut short by Kate’s phone.
“Uh-oh. It’s Aunt Joan.” Kate answered the phone as she stepped away from the table. She was back a moment later to break the news that Jonathan had an earache, so they needed to leave if they were going to get him to urgent care before it closed.
“I’ll give Karise a ride home later,” Aidan offered before Karise could even rise from her spot.
“I don’t want you to go to any trouble.” Even as she said the words, Karise admitted to herself that she wanted to stay.
“It’s no trouble,” he promised before leaning in to whisper in her ear, “I’ve waited weeks to see you. There’s no way I’m letting you leave this quickly.”
Not trusting her voice, she nodded.
“Good.” Kate nodded her approval in response.
“Text me when you know something.” Worry creased Jessica’s brow. “Earaches are the worst. Poor baby.”
Kate promised she’d keep them all updated, and the pair left amid well wishes for Jonathan’s speedy recovery. It wasn’t long before the other two couples excused themselves and Karise found herself alone with Aidan.
“Do you think that was planned?” she wondered aloud.
“I think the earache was real and the other two seized the opportunity.” Aidan’s smile was rueful as he began to gather glasses from the table. Karise figured that sounded about right. She busied herself helping clean the table rather than stand around awkwardly.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to,” she assured him. “Besides, I’m really just making sure you don’t steal the good stuff.”
“Always an ulterior motive,” he mocked reproach.
“One could say the same for you.”
“I am the picture of innocence.”
The look on his face was so earnest; Karise couldn’t help laughing at his expression. “I don’t think I believe you.”
“That’s because you’re a cold, hard woman.” He went back to loading the dishwasher.
She leaned against the counter, watching him work. “Sweet talker.”
“When I do sweet talk you, I’m accused of having an ulterior motive. I can’t win.”
“It’s probably best you’ve figured that out early on.”
“It just makes the game more interesting.” He stopped loading dishes and came to stand in front of her.
The tenor of the conversation changed the moment he placed his hands on the counter, one on each side of her.
“Is that what this is, a game?” she asked.
“Not even close.” His voice took on a husky undertone.
“What is it, then?” She forgot to breathe for half a heartbeat.
“I’m afraid to name it.”
Karise looked down at his chest, unable to look him in the eye as she admitted, “You’re doing better than I am. I’m afraid to even acknowledge it.”
He placed a finger under her chin, gently tipping her face up. “Then let’s not worry about doing either tonight. Let’s just enjoy it.”
She knew that if she was at all serious about not getting in deeper with him, she should say no. But after the past few weeks, the lure of simply enjoying an evening with him was too great to pass up. Karise lifted her arms to rest on his shoulders, sinking her fingers into his hair. “I’ve missed you.”
“Have you?” Pleasure spread across his face.
“When I wasn’t collapsing with exhaustion with little images of Kate’s house dancing through my mind.”
“Same here. When I wasn’t delivering baby goats, I spent pretty much every waking moment missing you.”
“Delivering baby goats? That’s a new one.”
“Kidding season is brutal. Any other time of the year and I’d have been climbing the walls.”
“You are six feet of paradox, you know that Aidan Donnelly?”
He grinned at that, lowering his head so his lips hovered above hers. “I like keeping you on your toes.”
“You’re doing a good job,” she murmured, every fiber of her being willing him to kiss her. Just about the time Karise decided to throw caution to the wind and take matters into her own hands, her phone rang, a cheerful Abba tune slicing through the mood as effectively as any knife.
“Abba?” Aidan pulled back to study her with arched eyebrows.
“That’s Kate’s ringtone,” Karise offered by way of explanation before answering. After a quick conversation with her friend, she relayed to Aidan that Kate was waiting in line at the all-night pharmacy but Jonathan would be fine.
“Good.” Aidan hopped up on the counter opposite Karise. “That was fast. They’re never that fast when Zoe and I go in.”
“Maybe they wanted to go home for the night.”
“Maybe.” He paused, pondering. “So… Abba?”
Karise rolled her eyes. “It’s silly. Kate told me a funny story about when she was dating Gavin and he took her to karaoke. Hearing the song reminds me of it and makes me giggle.”
“So do we all have our own ringtone?” His eyes took on a new light.
“N
ot everyone,” Karise hedged.
“Do I?”
“Do I have a ringtone on your phone?”
“I don’t do ringtones.”
Karise couldn’t explain her hesitation to just tell him his ringtone and get it over with. “Do you offer your guests wine?”
“I do, when they aren’t using alcohol to change the subject.”
“You’re an ass.” She scowled at him.
“But a charming one, which brings us back to the paradox.”
“I’m going in the living room now.”
His laughter followed her into the other room.
She helped herself to his CD collection, trying to get over being so embarrassingly flustered. Her phone broke into the chorus of Mumford & Sons I’ll Wait for You and she sighed, shaking her head. He looked very proud of himself as he emerged from the kitchen, juggling his phone, a wine bottle, and two glasses.
“The way you were acting, I was expecting something like Let’s Get it On.” He pocketed his phone before pouring them each a glass of wine.
“Hoping for,” she corrected, accepting the glass from him.
“Yeah, that’s probably more accurate. Hey, do you want me to put one of those on?” He motioned to the stack of CDs in her hand.
“Sure.” She passed the music over.
“Anything in particular?”
“Surprise me.”
He chewed his lip in thought before setting the stack aside and opening his laptop instead.
She peered his direction curiously. “What are you doing?”
“Making us a playlist.”
“Aw, is that your way of giving me a mixed tape?” she teased.
“Ah, the mix tape.” He paused as if in a memory, then resumed dragging and dropping songs. “This is more of a soundtrack for the evening.”
“Do I want to know who that memory was?”
“Shelly Riggenbottom. She was the love of my life in the seventh grade, and the lucky recipient of my first mix tape. It was rockin’.”
“I’m positively jealous. What happened?”
“She ditched me for Jake Elliot while we were on summer break,” he sighed. “Apparently their families had neighboring cabins at the lake.”
“The harlot.” Karise gasped in shock.
“My words exactly.” He snagged the remnants of the fruit plate off the table and popped a grape in his mouth, grinning as Karise recognized the first song on his playlist.
“I should have known you weren’t going to let that go.” She stole one of the grapes.
“It’s a fantastic song.”
“It is.”
A look of self-satisfaction descended over his face as the notes of the song swelled to a passionate crescendo, its lyrics dancing in the air as the singer promising he’d wait for her. Aidan grabbed her eyes with his. “The best things in life really are worth waiting for.”
“You’re reading way too much into this.” She broke the gaze, her eyes taking in the contents of his living room. Pictures of Zoe, piles of books, and shelves of CDs each told a piece of Aidan’s story.
“You don’t think you’re worth waiting for?”
Karise swallowed, her eyes coming back to rest on his. What could she possibly say to that?
The song changed, and now Darius Rucker was thumbing his way to North Carolina. The tenor of Aidan’s smile changed, too. Before Karise knew his intentions, he was on his feet pulling her into his arms. He twirled her around the living room to the happy tune. She protested for half a stanza before giving in to the spontaneous joy of the moment. She couldn’t remember the last time laughter bubbled up from her belly, the last time happiness flowed through her so freely. Aidan laughed along with her, something she couldn’t remember William ever doing. He usually watched her in mild amusement with a smattering of impatience. She pushed William from her mind. He was the past; she’d never have a future if she wasn’t willing to leave him there. The song ended, replaced by something with an Irish punk flair to it.
“This is good. Who is it?”
“Me,” he admitted. “I used to be in a band.”
“No fair,” she protested. “You do not get to have that much talent. You’re not leaving anything for the rest of us.”
“I didn’t realize I had a disproportionate amount.”
“Yeah, well, you do.”
“Kate plays violin. She even got accepted to the symphony after college.”
“So I’m the only talentless hack in the group?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I can juggle,” Karise offered hopefully.
“That’s impressive.”
The more Karise thought about it, the more she thought calling it juggling might be generous. “Sort of, that is. Any more than two balls and I drop them.”
“That’s slightly less impressive.”
“Give me time; I’ll think of something.”
There was that laugh again. It rumbled deep from within and lit up his entire face. They danced two more songs before collapsing side by side on the couch. Aidan offered her more wine, which she declined. Her cheeks were tingling, a sure sign she was hovering on the precipice of overindulgence.
“I do have something serious to ask,” Aidan began, drawing his words out in a way that made Karise think he might be nervous.
Her curiosity was piqued. “What’s that?”
“Do you have plans after you finish Kate’s place?”
Karise’s face fell. The knowledge came crashing back that, only this morning, she’d planned to run away the instant the house was finished.
“Uh-oh. That doesn’t look good.”
“Sometimes reality just isn’t the same as a dream, I guess.”
“Reality is never the same as a dream. It’s harder and a whole lot messier.”
“Now you tell me.”
“It’s also worth it, if it’s the right dream.”
“How do you know if it’s the right dream?”
Aidan thought for a moment before half-shrugging. “You just do, I guess.”
“Did you ever doubt being a goat farmer?”
“Creator of artisan cheese, and yes – plenty of times. But it was always after a particularly crappy week, and then something would happen to remind me why I came here in the first place.”
“Yeah, well, nothing is happening to remind me at the moment.”
“Is it that bad?” His words were so gentle they unleashed everything that had been building up in Karise over the past several weeks. She found herself unloading every frustration, every roadblock, every feeling of inferiority. Somehow, in the midst of the outpouring, she also found herself resituated so her back rested against his chest with his arms wrapped easily around her.
“I owe Kate so much; I don’t want to screw this up. I think I’m screwing this up. I’m in over my head.” She finished her monologue with a heavy sigh and rested her cheek against his arm.
“That’s a lot to carry around inside. Next time, call and unload sooner.”
“Thanks for listening.”
“For what it’s worth, we never really know what we’re made of until we’ve gotten in over our heads at least once.”
His words didn’t sit well with Karise. “That scares the hell out of me.”
“You’re made of more than you think.”
“I wish I could see what you see.”
“I do, too.” He ran his fingers down her cheek before brushing a kiss against her temple.
She was quiet, taking in the steady rise and fall of his chest. There in the cocoon of his arms, she felt safe, warm…right.
Aidan’s voice interrupted her meditation. “So, is now not a good time to offer you a job?”
“It’s not nice to tease me while I’m weak.”
“I’m serious,” he persisted. “That’s why I brought it up.”
“Sure you are. What job do you want to offer me?”
“I was hoping you’d help me add on to this pla
ce. Do you do that sort of thing?”
“Why let crazy little things like lack of skill or experience stop me?” Karise still didn’t believe him.
“So you will?”
“I didn’t say that.” Karise stiffened, sensing she was about be even further in over her head.
“It sounded to me like you did.”
She sat upright, twisting around to glare at him. “You learned the art of negotiating from Kate, didn’t you?”
“Who says she didn’t learn it from me?”
Karise didn’t bother to respond.
“Alright, yes, I learned from Kate.” His shoulders sank a bit.
At that, the corner of her mouth curled up ever so slightly.
“I really do want to expand. I want to be able to entertain potential customers in my home, and it’s just not set up for that right now. And I want Zoe to have a fairy tale room.”
Karise twisted her mouth in thought. How was she supposed to say no to that? “How about we meet in the daylight and talk more about what it is you want to do?”
“That would be wonderful.”
“I make no promises.” Karise felt like a jerk for putting the brakes on his obvious excitement, but she couldn’t squelch the warning bells going off in her brain.
Aidan nodded in understanding. “How about tomorrow?”
“That’s fast.”
“I’ll pick you up at nine. Wear something comfortable. We have to go on a walk for me to explain what I want.”
“You sound ridiculously suspicious – you know that, don’t you?”
“It’ll make sense when I show you.”
“I know that’s supposed to be comforting, but I find it rather terrifying instead.”
He just chuckled in response. Karise decided it was time to go home if she was going to be up and civilized by nine the next morning. The ride home in Aidan’s truck was fun. The bumpy old Chevy reminded her of rides in her dad’s ancient truck when she was a little girl. They cracked the windows to let the spring breeze rush over their skin. The radio was turned up; Karise closed her eyes and sang along. She was wholly happy in that moment, and she wished she’d never have to open her eyes again.
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