by Liwen Y. Ho
Bucky grunted in agreement. He stepped up to greet Shiloh with a carrot. “I suppose us only children tend to get used to talking to ourselves. I remember you being so quiet as a kid, you had Nanna worried for a while. I told her not to worry; it took me a while to open up. Meeting her definitely helped. She likes to take all the credit for my blossoming. Honestly, how could anyone not open up around that woman?”
James chuckled. He had always felt like a kindred spirit with Bucky, especially when he was younger. Nanna might have been the one he spent the most time talking—or rather listening—to, but Bucky was the one he felt the most comfortable with. “I never asked, but how did you work up the nerve to ask Nanna out?”
“You don’t think I won her over with my silent charm?” He winked. “Or at least with my good looks?”
Shiloh neighed, causing both men to laugh.
“I don’t know if he’s agreeing or disagreeing with you,” James joked.
“He’s a smart one, this boy.” Grinning, Bucky fed Shiloh another carrot. “Honestly? I just did it. It took all the guts I had to spit out the words, but I have to give credit to your nanna for being patient with me. We were good friends for a while before she started seeing me as someone more. I knew there was something different one day when I caught her looking at me a little longer than she used to. Then there was the accidental brushing of hands when we walked together. One day we bumped into each other when we stood up at the same time, and she literally fell into my lap. I looked into her eyes, she looked into mine, and I kissed her. After that, we were inseparable.”
“Wait, so you didn’t officially ask her out?”
“Naw. I figured my mouth was better off doing the convincing.” Humor coated his words, his eyes twinkling. “I don’t think she minded. Still doesn’t to this day.”
Smiling, James nodded. He almost had a similar chance to show Lexi how he felt without using his words, too, but he’d passed that up. What would she have done if he’d kissed her? He had no idea, and he likely would never know.
Bucky eyed him curiously. “I know that look, boy. It’s the same one you had when you were eleven or twelve and you were helping Nanna in the kitchen. You couldn’t get your sausage gravy right—it was either too runny or too thick. You looked as sad as a rooster who’d lost his voice.”
The memories of that summer day flooded James’s mind. How he’d followed the recipe to a T, yet he still didn’t get the results he wanted. He’d almost given up, but he’d decided to give it one more shot. Good thing he did because that’s when he discovered his love of cooking. He’d learned that day how patience, perseverance, and effort paid off. “I remember. Nanna wouldn’t let me give up either. She sat with me and helped me figure out the ingredients I needed, which ones went well together and which ones didn’t. I owe my career to her.”
Bucky beamed. “You found your voice that day.”
“I guess you could say that. Cooking is how I express myself.”
“So, why don’t you use your God-given talent and skills—” he gave James a pointed look “—to tell Lexi how you feel?”
“Huh? You’re telling me to use my cooking to win Lexi over? I do that practically every day, but look where it’s gotten me. Deep in the friend zone.”
“Then try a different approach, a different recipe, if you will.” Bucky emphasized the word recipe with a quirk of his brow. “Be creative. You’ll figure something out.”
Shiloh nudged James’s arm as he looked from him to Bucky and back again. He snorted as if agreeing with the older man.
James rubbed his chin, the gears in his head starting to turn. Maybe Bucky was onto something. Shiloh certainly thought so. A man experienced in love and a horse who’d already won the heart of the woman he loved couldn’t be wrong. An idea began forming in his mind, bubbling like a simmering pot of chili.
Food! That was it. He knew the way to Lexi’s stomach; maybe he also knew the way to her heart.
“Thanks for the chat, Bucky. I’ve got some things to prepare for tomorrow.” James tipped his hat toward his great-uncle before turning to go.
“Anytime!”
James headed to his own place of solace on the ranch, the kitchen. He was going to whip up the tastiest food for Lexi’s birthday, along with a special gift just for her. It was going to be a long night, but Lexi was worth it.
15
Lexi
Lexi held herself still as the other side of her mattress gave way when her mother turned over in the bed they were sharing. Eyes closed, she pretended to sleep, as she’d been doing for half the night to avoid conversation. Thanks to jet lag, her mother had stayed up reading a book and had finally gone to sleep around five in the morning. Three hours later, Lexi was wide awake and waiting for the perfect opportunity to escape the cabin unnoticed. The last thing she wanted was to get caught up in a mother-daughter interrogation session.
When her mother’s breathing evened out, Lexi snuck out of bed and tiptoed to the bathroom to change. She threw on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt over a bright yellow tankini set with white polka dots. Her stomach fluttered as she applied a coat of waterproof mascara and some light pink lip gloss. After running a brush through her hair, she took a good look at herself in the mirror. Her dark brown eyes, now surrounded by a few laugh lines, twinkled with anticipation, even as doubt coursed through her. Puffing out her cheeks, she released a long breath. Here she was approaching midlife and feeling like a teenager going on her first date. Even worse, she had all the questions that went along with a first date: How was she supposed to act around James? What if he kissed her? If he did, should she kiss him back?
She shook her head quickly. What was she doing? She shouldn’t even be thinking about kissing James, much less dating him. This was a simple outing between friends, nothing more. The fact that he had run off last night proved he didn’t want anything more than friendship. That was a fact she needed to accept. She was getting too old to play pretend.
Lexi emerged from the bathroom into the darkened room and made her way to the front door. She was half an hour early to meet James, but she’d rather spend it out of harm’s way—specifically, her mother’s presence. Opening the door, she stepped outside, releasing a sigh of relief, only to suck it back in when her mother stirred.
She had almost closed the door when a loud, tinny voice called out, “Ming Zhu, where are you going?”
Cringing, Lexi pushed the door open a crack and stuck her head into the room. “Ma, it’s still early. Go back to sleep.”
“Exactly.” Mrs. Turner sat up in bed, narrowing her eyes at Lexi. “Where are you off to this early in the morning, and on your birthday, too?”
“Thanks for remembering,” Lexi replied drolly. Her mother wasn’t one for sentimental gestures. The mere fact that she remembered her birthday was good enough. “I … I’m just going to get some breakfast. I didn’t want to disturb you since you went to bed so late.”
She scoffed. “Do you know why I couldn’t sleep last night, Alexandra?”
“Because of jet lag?” Sensing a lecture coming, Lexi took a step back into the bedroom, one hand still on the doorknob. “It is a five-hour time difference.”
“I am worried about you. You deserve someone better than that chef. If he does not appreciate you enough to ask you to marry him, you are better off without him.” She pointed a finger in Lexi’s direction. “You are too good for him.”
“Ma—that’s not true.” Lexi felt her cheeks flush with indignation. Even though it touched her in an odd way to hear her mother coming to her defense, she had no right to speak of James this way. She couldn’t let her mother go on like this. It was time to come clean, regardless of the consequences. “The truth is, James and I aren’t dating. We only pretended to be so Thomas would think I’d moved on and I’m doing well without him. I had no idea the news would get back to you. Please don’t be upset. I didn’t think you’d travel all the way here once you found out.”
Her moth
er clutched the area over her heart, disapproval hardening her features. Even with her cream-colored cotton pajamas on and a blanket pulled up to her chest, she still appeared poised and in control. “Do you still love Thomas?”
“No,” Lexi exclaimed. “Absolutely not. I’ve been over him for a while. I know it was silly, but when I saw him with Tiffany, I wanted to show him I found someone, too. Except that I hadn’t yet, so I had to improvise.”
Mrs. Turner took a few deep breaths while grimacing.
“Are you feeling all right, Ma? Your heart isn’t acting up, is it?” She paused, eyeing her mother cautiously. She took a step forward, ready to rush over to her mother’s side.
Her mother waved her away. “Then who is it you are interested in?”
“There’s no one, Ma—”
“The one you mentioned last night at dinner, the man who doesn’t feel the same for you. Who were you talking about?”
Lexi chewed her lower lip as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. Why did her mother have to remember every little detail of the conversation? Every part of her was eager to escape this inquisition if only it were possible. How was she going to get out of this one? “I-I was going along with the role I was playing.”
“You like him.”
“Who?”
“The chef.”
“James? No, I told you we were preten—”
“He lied,” her mother cut in, her cheeks flushing. “He lied when he said he would never hurt you.”
“Ma, he didn’t lie. He would never do anything to hurt me. He’s the sweetest man I know. He’s one of my closest friends.”
“See, you are already falling for him. Don’t deny it. I know you well enough to know when you are lying.”
Lexi stopped short of rolling her eyes. She knew better than to show any disrespect to her mother, but it was getting harder to keep a straight face. This conversation was getting out of hand. She didn’t need her mother meddling in her life. “Ma, I know you mean well, but I’m forty years old. I can handle my personal affairs on my own. You don’t need to worry about who I like or don’t like. I’m actually fine being single, I am.”
“Then why did you lie to your ex-husband? Why did you lie to me?” Her mother’s tone hardened. “And why are you lying to yourself? You are clearly in love with the chef.”
Lexi sucked in a sharp breath. Hearing her mother’s words felt like a punch to the gut. Why did she still care about her mother’s opinion of her after all these years? If only she were confident enough to own her struggles and failures.
Hot tears filled her eyes, threatening to betray her. To be honest, she didn’t like being alone as much as she claimed. She may have seemed like a big girl, running off to Texas to start a new life, but if it weren’t for Charlie and the Buchanans welcoming her with open arms, she would’ve been lost. Then there was James, the handsome cowboy with his listening ear and a steady supply of chili who’d been there for her from day one. He had played such a big part in her life this past year. Her heart ached at the thought of being at the ranch without him. Who was she going to talk to and laugh with when he was gone?
She couldn’t depend on James anymore. It was time for her to grow up.
She reined in her emotions, determined to feel and act like the adult she was. Forty was no joke. God willing, she had probably lived half or close to half her life already. She’d certainly already made enough mistakes for a lifetime. This new decade would be different—better.
She could learn to be on her own.
Speaking in a firm, hopefully convincing tone, she replied to her mother as much as to herself, “I appreciate your concern, Ma, but I know the truth. And the truth is, there’s no future for me and James. Now, please trust me to live my life.” She paused, gripping the doorknob tightly. “I need to go. I’ll be back late tonight, so I’ll see you then.”
She took a deep breath and stepped back, pulling the bedroom door shut. With a barrier between her and her mother, she could breathe freely again. Her shoulders immediately relaxed, sending waves of relief through her body. What a stressful way to start her birthday! But a part of her was happy she’d spoken her mind. It was time to start living with courage and faith in herself.
Lexi rushed to the front door and opened it, immediately finding herself face-to-face with James’s broad chest. Surprised, she lost her footing and fell into his open arms. Her nose ended up buried in the soft fabric of his T-shirt, inhaling an amazing scent of soap and spices, as he held her close. The moment was perfect … except for the fact that this was everything she wanted but couldn’t have. She quickly pulled away, a sheepish smile on her face. “Hey, sorry, I didn’t see you. How long have you been standing here?”
“Not long.” He tipped his Stetson in her direction and gave her a small smile. “Everything good?”
“Yeah, everything’s great. Let’s get this show on the road.”
Lexi followed James’s lead to his car, eager to start her birthday celebrations. A day spent with her best friend—what more could she ask for?
16
James
James shifted in his seat, his limbs growing stiff from sitting in the car too long. Two hours had passed since he and Lexi left Sage Valley, and they were close to their destination. He glanced over at Lexi, whose head kept bobbing up and down as she dozed off. To his relief, she’d fallen asleep as soon as they had reached I-37 South, leaving him to his own thoughts. There was so much on his mind, he was thankful for the silence. Usually, he enjoyed bantering with his best friend, but today, he just didn’t have the heart. Not when he was about to leave on tour tomorrow.
James blew out a frustrated breath as he turned off the highway. Lexi’s position shifted as they drove over some bumps in the road, and her head fell onto his shoulder. The sweet fragrance of honeysuckle filled his senses, making his chest tighten. Her hair fell over her cheekbone, but he could spot a smile curving her full lips. The sight was so mesmerizing, he nearly forgot to watch for the traffic in front of him. When he finally tore his eyes away and looked up, he had to slam on the brakes to keep from hitting the car before him. The truck jerked to a stop, causing both him and Lexi to lurch forward.
Lexi jumped, eyes wide open. “What happened?”
“Sorry, I braked a little late.” He gave her a sheepish smile. “How’d you sleep?”
“So good. I hardly got any rest last night with my mom next to me. This nap was just what I needed.” Stretching her arms out, she sighed happily. “So, are you going to tell me now where we’re going?”
“See for yourself.” James pointed out her passenger window toward a wide expanse of blue. “It’s not the Pacific, but I hope it’ll do. Welcome to Port Aransas.”
Lexi gasped then opened her window. A fresh breeze of salty air shot in the truck, ruffling her dark hair. She turned to him with the brightest smile. “James! You brought me to the beach?”
“Of course. Friends don’t let friends miss out on what they want for their special day. Happy birthday, Lexi. You deserve the best.”
She reached up to give his neck a squeeze, holding on for an extra beat. “This is the best surprise ever. Thank you,” she whispered in his ear. “Oh, I’m getting all emotional. I need to stop. No more crying.”
James’s heart soared to have her so close then immediately sank when she pulled away. He swallowed hard and kept his eyes on the road. “This isn’t the best part though.” He steered the truck onto a street parallel to the ocean then made a right turn onto the beach itself. A few yards down, he stopped and parked perpendicular to the shoreline. The beach was quiet as expected for a Monday, so they had a good stretch of sand all to themselves. The weather couldn’t have been better if he’d planned it. With a sky clear of clouds, and the waves rolling in, it was everything he’d wanted to give Lexi for her birthday. At least he could make her happy. “There, now we have the perfect view for lunch.”
“This is amazing. I can’t believe we can d
rive on the beach.”
“Yeah, it’s one of the cool things about this place.” He opened his door and gestured for her to follow. “Come on, I packed a picnic for us.”
After retrieving the items they needed from the truck bed, James led Lexi to a spot in front of the truck. They set up a beach umbrella and laid down a blanket, then removed their outer clothing before sitting down. James swallowed hard when he saw Lexi in her swimsuit that showed off her slender curves and smooth skin. He couldn’t help but notice her lingering gaze when he took off his shirt. He wanted to dwell on that simple sign, but he also didn’t want to get his hopes up. His heart sank as he considered ditching his whole plan for today. Why pour out his heart now, only to have Lexi reject him?
He took out two large containers, one marked with the letter L in sharpie from an insulated bag. He presented Lexi with the unmarked box. “I tried my best to make this as authentic as possible. I really wanted to give you a taste of home.”
Lexi looked at him curiously as she opened her container. She pulled out a rectangular block of rice wrapped in a sheet of dried seaweed with a piece of lunch meat sandwiched in between. “You made me spam musubi? I haven’t had one in so long. Thank you, James.”
“You’re welcome. Let’s dig in.”
James ate his musubi quickly, taking care to keep it hidden behind his hand in between bites. He couldn’t risk Lexi seeing the shape he’d cut his particular one out in.
“Is yours different from mine?” Lexi asked as she peeked into his container at the second musubi sitting there. “It looks like a heart.”
“I got bored with rectangles and decided to try something different.” His face heated, his excuse sounding weak even to his own ears. “How’s yours taste?”
“It’s delicious. I think the heart looks cute.” She smiled. “Oh, did you happen to bring something to drink?”
