We entertained Audrey’s friends several times, but the atmosphere was tense. Although our attitude hadn’t changed, they didn’t feel at ease in this place that I myself had found so impressive for so long. They saw us differently, and the conversations lacked naturalness, warmth, spontaneity. Our relationships started to wither, becoming cold and distant. They knew we were rich, and some of them, without any hesitation, asked us for financial support, which naturally we couldn’t refuse. After a while, we were less their friends than their bankers. Conversely, others tried to force us to be friends. Wealth attracts snobs and show-offs. We gradually got used to fending people off, and then shut ourselves away altogether.
The omnipresence of servants soon encroached on our private life. There was a risk they would appear at any moment, hindering real relaxation and intruding on our intimacy. We felt like outsiders in our own house. At the end of three months, we had lost all real joie de vivre, our slightly childish good nature. The situation was getting out of control. We were completely at a loss.
I tried to understand the meaning of what was happening to us. I had become convinced that things didn’t happen to us by chance. I stepped back and asked myself why all this luxury had suddenly dropped into my life, offering itself to me. Perhaps life wanted to challenge me about my values. Perhaps I had allowed myself to be caught in a trap, no doubt confusing the need we all have to better ourselves with social mobility alone. Isn’t real change inside? It’s by changing yourself that you become happy, not by changing what’s around you.
In a burst of lucidity, we decided to part with this cumbersome burden. We sold the mansion and divided the money among the servants. They deserved it, after loyally serving my father all their lives. Audrey’s mother, who had retired the year before, received her share. Vladi, who kept Stalin, got the Mercedes, too, as we had no use for it.
Then Audrey and I crossed our fingers and called Madame Blanchard. We leapt with joy when she confided that she still had not rented my old apartment, suspecting the different candidates she had interviewed of being potentially noisy neighbors!
We took possession of the apartment again one fine Saturday in April, taking with us just what we needed to be happy. The boxes had barely been set down, when Audrey opened the windows wide and put crumbs on the sills. The radiant sun filled the whole apartment, and the Parisian sparrows were soon accompanying our move with their joyful cheeping.
That very evening, Madame Blanchard organized a get-together in the courtyard to celebrate our return. Something had changed in her, but I couldn’t identify what. She put a big white tablecloth on an old table and laid out a variety of quiches and cakes that she had spent all day making, perfuming the building with tempting smells. She invited all the neighbors, who were happy to take advantage of the mildness of one of the first spring evenings, and to my surprise, she went and fetched Étienne. He stuffed himself and appropriated a bottle of Crozes-Hermitage that he hung on to all evening. An old battery-driven cassette player gave out slightly old-fashioned but very joyful French songs that we wiggled to as we laughed. Carefreeness and lightness were back.
Several times during the evening, I looked at Madame Blanchard as I tried to figure out what had changed. It was nearly midnight when suddenly the answer came to me, perfectly obvious: She had abandoned black and put on a pretty flowered dress. The biggest things are sometimes the ones that go unnoticed the most.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
LAURENT GOUNELLE is a personal development specialist who trained in humanities at the University of California, Santa Cruz. In addition to lecturing at the Université of Clermont-Ferrand, he is a consultant and leads international seminars. His three books, based on the principles of Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP), have sold more than 300,000 copies worldwide.
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The Man Who Risked It All Page 31
