by KASI, MV
At the age of twelve, she had been diagnosed of having sex addiction.
And later, as she grew older, she had other addictions added to the mix.
She recalled seeing a few pictures of herself during that time. And most of those pictures were taken by others, and uploaded on the social media, bragging about their booze and dope filled parties.
Clearing her head to get rid of those memories, she continued looking around. Her eyes stopped and fell on the cards lying on a side table next to her.
They appeared to be Ajay's engagement invitations.
Mr. and Mrs. Ram Mohan invite you to their eldest daughter Jyotika Ram Mohan's engagement ceremony to Ajay Manthena. We cordially request—
"We used protection that night," Ajay's voice interrupted her.
She dragged her gaze away from the cards to look at him. He looked as though he was finally managing to pull it together.
"Condoms are not effective always," she murmured, looking back at the cards with a lot of interest.
There was a loaded silence.
"I'll need proof that the baby is mine. I'll also be picking the doctor and the hospital to get the paternity tested," he stated.
Sia nodded, still looking at the cards in utter fascination. "Of course. Whenever it's safe enough to do the test, I'll let you know."
Peeling her eyes away from the cards, she looked at him expressionlessly. "Look Ajay. This visit was only to inform you. You don’t have to worry about being responsible in any way," she said, subtly stressing on the word, responsible.
She had known Ajay for only eight months. But during that time, she had gathered enough information about him to know what made him tick. And what triggered his protective instincts.
"What do you mean?" he demanded with a frown.
"Exactly what I said. This is more of an FYI visit, rather than me trying to claim some rights or support for my unborn child."
His jaw clenched slightly. "It will be my unborn child too, and I will want to do more than simply support. We both need to—" he broke off when his phone began to ring loudly on the coffee table between them.
Ajay's fiancée's face was flashing on the screen.
Jyotika, his pretty fiancée was a complete opposite of her. The one time they had bumped into each other, she could feel the warmth and love radiating from Jyotika towards Ajay.
In a perfect world where life was fair, Ajay would soon be married to Jyotika, and they would live a happy normal life, like a regular happy couple.
Unfortunately, life was never perfect. Or fair.
"I know you must be busy. I've got to leave as well. I'll keep in touch," she said, and then paused deliberately. She stared at him with a serious look on her face. "Or maybe not. You really don't have to be involved in any way with my child, Ajay."
"Of course I want to stay in touch and be involved," he gritted.
She nodded slightly at the look of annoyance on his face. She had come here for a purpose, and she was done.
And now, it was his turn.
She stood up to leave, but she suddenly felt the ground tilt below her. The added stress and her usual nausea were making her feel dizzy from the past few weeks.
Seeing her sway, Ajay rushed to her side to hold her arm firmly.
"Are you okay?" he asked gruffly in concern.
"Yeah. Slightly dizzy, that's all. A little food and rest, I'll be right as rain," she replied.
"Sit down for a while. I'll get you some water and food—"
"No. I don't want anything. Just give me a minute to recover."
She sat back on the couch, and pulled out a few dry biscuits from her purse. After having a couple of them, she felt slightly better.
Ajay was frowning at her. "I'm not comfortable with you driving in this condition. And it's pouring outside. Let me drop you—"
"I'm fine, Ajay. I didn't drive. Someone else drove me here. Please carry on with your call and whatever plans you have for the evening."
Right on cue his phone began to ring again.
She got up from the chair. "No need to see me off. I'm really fine," she repeated.
But Ajay ignored her, and followed behind her as she walked out of his penthouse. And before she could say anything, he pressed the elevator button, and stood waiting next to her.
And when the elevator arrived, she didn't get in. She stood still, looking at him, making it obvious that she was waiting for him to get back inside.
But when he didn't react, or indicate in any way that he was going to leave, she raised an eyebrow at him. "I think I know how to operate an elevator and find my way down without your help," she said, turning away from him. She kept her back ramrod straight, and raised her chin up, giving him the impression that she was dismissing him.
She had the knack of knowing how to rub people the wrong way. At first, she had used it as a defense mechanism. Later, she used it to get people off her back.
Even with someone like Ajay—who was usually pretty chivalrous and easygoing—it worked. He looked at her for a while, and then nodded curtly before getting back to his penthouse and closing the door shut.
When she was quite sure he wouldn't be returning anytime soon, she sighed in relief.
She moved away from the elevator and began to walk towards the stairs.
Her legs, which had been shaky at the thought of taking the elevator, became slightly steady again.
She hated taking the elevators.
And even when she was forced to take them sometimes, especially in high rises or for some other occasions, she would discreetly rock back and forth, staring at the control panel, praying that the elevator didn't stop to let anyone in.
Stairs were better. But only slightly. Because they weren't the safest places either. Most gruesome scenes and attacks could happen on the staircases too.
The only good thing about Ajay's building's stairs was that they were visible from the main doors of the other residents' homes.
She could scream, and someone would see her. She could escape relatively easily.
She kept repeating that thought in her paranoid head. But her heart never slowed from its panicked thudding, and she felt even more breathless because of it.
Luckily Ajay's penthouse was only five floors up. And so by the time she walked outside towards the car, she was only slightly breathless.
She was getting out of shape. And also weaker.
A month ago, after learning that she was pregnant, she had to give up her intense workouts. She had settled for some light exercise regime, which she hoped would keep her fit until she could get back to being strong.
She shook her head slightly, to stop the world from spinning, and especially to get rid of those more persistent paranoid thoughts that were waiting to rush into her mind.
Maybe she should have stayed at Ajay’s place a little longer until the dizziness went away completely. But he wasn’t thrilled to see her again at his home. And neither was he thrilled to hear the news she had delivered to him.
She knew she could have let him know about her pregnancy in a much tactful way. But however tactful she could have possibly gotten, there was no way that particular news would have been received with calm acceptance from his end.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the blinking lights, and a short car horn in the parking lot.
She went towards it and opened the door. "You okay, Sia?" asked the woman who had driven her here.
"I'm fine," she replied, even as her hands trembled slightly, remembering how closely she had escaped taking the elevator.
Claustrophobia.
It was one of the several phobias that she still suffered from. Along with paranoia.
According to Dr. Patel, they should slowly disappear once she began to 'heal'. But what exactly was healing, she didn't know. And how can someone who had suffered what she did, ever recover or heal?
Sighing, she closed her eyes to rest briefly while the car drove across the city, heading towards her h
ouse in the suburbs.
Ajay's words swam through her head. I'll need proof that the baby is mine.
Any other woman would have shown proper outrage at that statement. But she hadn't. She couldn't. Maybe she should have at least pretended.
But Ajay was quite intuitive, even though he didn't know enough about her. He didn't know that when it came to her former life, it was an extremely plausible question.
"What is wrong with you, Sia? I told you I loved you, and that I wanted to spend my life with you," shouted a distraught guy.
Krish was his name, and he had caught her in bed having sex with his roommate. She had known that he would be back to his dorm at that time, and had deliberately planned to be caught by him.
"Spend our lives?" she laughed at him, not bothering to cover up. But the other shocked guy next to her on the bed pulled the blanket over her, and them himself in a hurried manner.
Ignoring him, she stared at Krish. "We are just nineteen, Krish. No one decides anything permanent at our age. And besides, what kind of an idiot thinks he is in love after a month of being together?" she mocked.
She was in the second year of college and there were plenty of guys available to get her fix. Krish was her last conquest. When he had confessed to her that he was attracted to her, she had taken him to his dorm room for a quick round of sex. But he was quite good. Good enough for her to meet him each night from the past month.
It was one of her longest hook-ups. But the last time they had been together, Krish had confessed to her that he had fallen in love with her and wanted to spend his life with her.
Which was why it was time for him to go.
"Come on Krish, stop boring me with this emotional outburst. Why don't you join us? It'll be fun," she told him, patting the empty space on the bed below with a smile.
"You are sick! And trash! I don't know why I thought I saw something beautiful in you. If only the outside matched your rotten core. You have no conscience or soul!" Krish raged and stormed out.
Sia sighed. Sex was sex as far as she was concerned. There was nothing more to it than a physical connection between two bodies. Or sometimes more bodies.
Of course movies, books and some poets would fiercely argue otherwise. And some foolish idiots like her previous conquest were influenced by them.
"He really looked upset. I feel even guiltier now," her new conquest spoke, looking worried.
She had forgotten about him during the drama. She didn't even remember the guy's name or know much about him. She only knew that he was charmingly clumsy. Probably because he was a virgin until she had initiated him. But what he lacked in skills in bed like his roommate, he more than made up with his enthusiasm to be led.
She slid out of the bed, and stood up naked, smiling into the glazed eyes of her victim as he watched her.
"Tell Krish the truth. That I seduced you. That you had no choice but to follow my lead," she said. She pulled up her jeans. "So tomorrow again, here at nine?" she asked.
Her victim nodded helplessly.
She had always chosen men who were willing to be led.
When it came to a chase, she was always the predator...
But over the past three years, after a life changing incident, she had ensured that her lifestyle had changed drastically. And even more since she had moved to India from Boston.
And during the past eight months in Hyderabad, she hadn't dated anyone, and neither did she show any interest in doing so. She had kept a low enough profile that people didn't pry. And the few men, who had dared to be interested in her, gave up when she froze them with her coldness.
All she was interested in was her mission. And she wasn't going to rest until her real prey was captured. No matter how many other people she had to use or hurt.
Including Ajay.
