by Toni Shiloh
He blinked. What in the world? For a moment, he’d looked at Trinity like a man noticing a pretty woman for the first time. It had happened earlier as well. Standing on the front porch, she’d looked up at him, her brown eyes luminous. In an instant, he’d sunk into her gaze and a strange pull to move closer to her had him shifting forward.
Whoa. This is Trinity. Your best friend of twenty-something years.
That’s right. Trinity Davis. No, now she’s Trinity Young. He cleared his throat as she neared. “Do you mind if Rock joins us for dinner?”
“Not at all.” She gave Rock a side hug. “How are you?”
“I’m hanging in there.”
She nodded and straightened out of the church hug. A whiff of flowers carried Omar’s way. It was the same smell that lingered in the halls of his home. A smell that hadn’t been there before Trinity moved in.
What in the world is wrong with me?
Since when did he notice how his best friend smelled? Wife. No, he’d had a wife. Christine. He loved Christine. Had been attracted to only Christine. Missed everything about Christine. Christine.
“Omar?”
He snapped out of it and found Rock and Trinity staring at him. Trinity’s brow wrinkled, and her eyes held concern. Rock...well, there was a knowing look in his eyes that Omar didn’t want to examine.
“Sorry. What did you say?”
“Trinity asked if we were ready to sit,” Rock said. “I told her I’d be sitting by Bill today.”
Omar was glad his father-in-law had a friend he could sit with. The two widowers had a lot in common. “Oh. Right. See you at the potluck?”
“I’ll be there. You two?”
“We’ll be there,” Trinity answered. “I always help Mama out.”
“Good.” Rock leaned in toward Omar, whispering, “You got this, son.”
Omar nodded and motioned for Trinity to lead the way. They entered the sanctuary to the strumming of music. Max was up onstage, playing on an acoustic guitar as the rest of the worship team got into position. Soon they’d invite everyone to stand. Little by little, people would make their way to the seats and stop talking.
Of course, most of the congregation had already quieted by the time Omar settled into a seat next to Trinity and her folks. He had a feeling they’d be the talk of the potluck with one or more inquiring minds wondering the status of their relationship, considering all the pointed looks at his ring finger. How had he ever been naive enough to believe no one would notice?
He was beginning to wonder if the explanation he and Trinity thought of would be good enough. A sense of trepidation trickled down his spine. Something had shifted in his mind. For once, Christine hadn’t taken the forefront. Almost like he’d forgotten her. He bowed his head, guilt weighing him down.
Father, what have I done? How could I have forgotten how important Christine is to me? To our girls? Please forgive me for looking at another woman.
Omar shook his head. Trinity was his wife, which meant he hadn’t done anything wrong, but boy, his mind thought differently.
Lord, what am I going to do? Recognition dawned and he straightened in his seat. I don’t have to do anything. It’s all You. You’re the answer to my problems, Lord. Please, please, take this...this awareness of Trinity away. Please help me maintain our friendship and honor Christine’s memory. Amen.
If others believed he had no obligation to his late wife since he was now a widower, then it was obvious those people had never lost a spouse. ’Til death do us part didn’t automatically sever ties. Death had parted him and Christine, but he still didn’t feel released from those vows just yet. Only, now he’d said the words to Trinity.
If he wasn’t able to let go of the vows he’d taken with Christine, how was he supposed to uphold them in this new union with Trinity? How was he supposed to love, honor and cherish Trinity in the here and now?
His head hurt about as much as his heart because death could break the vows again. What would he do if something happened to Trinity? He’d already lost one wife—would the Lord take a second one from him? The desire to retreat from life and go back to making it through one day at a time called to him. Sometimes feeling was worse than being numb.
Soon the music stopped, and Omar refocused his mind. The pastor could always pull him from his thoughts and into the Word. Scripture fed his soul and centered him. Unfortunately, the sermon didn’t last and soon they were filing out of the sanctuary to head outside where the potluck would commence.
The acreage next to the church held white benches. Women and men placed slow cookers and other dishes on the long tables, buffet-style.
Omar glanced at his watch. He should get the girls and then come back. That way Trinity would have time to help her mom and he could get the kids situated. Omar walked over to Trinity, relaying his plan.
“Divide and conquer, right?” She grinned.
“Exactly.”
She headed toward her mom and he turned, coming to an abrupt stop.
Jalissa Tucker stood, arms crossed and foot tapping impatiently.
“Afternoon, Jalissa.”
“Omar.”
He gulped. For some reason, Jalissa didn’t like him. At least, he didn’t think she did. She was never mean, but she didn’t go out of her way to be cordial either. Since she was Trinity’s other best friend, he always tried to smooth the waters.
“Hey, I’m on my way to get Faith and Joy. Did you need something?”
“Just wanted to know why neither one of you called and invited me to the festivities.” Her mouth thinned as she tapped her left ring finger.
“Trinity didn’t tell you?” That wasn’t like her. He glanced over his shoulder, watching as Trinity carried a stack of paper plates to the beginning of the potluck line.
“Not. A. Word.”
Yikes. “Are you sure?” He hedged. “Maybe you’re missing a text or something?”
“Omar!” She stomped her foot. Her straight black hair swung with displeasure and her caramel skin reddened at the cheeks.
“I’m sorry.” He held up his hands. “I had no idea Trinity hadn’t said anything to you. We both talked to our parents, and I assumed she’d talk to you as well.” He didn’t know what else to say.
“Humph. Y’all walk into church together wearing wedding bands and getting the gossip mill up and running, and don’t even let y’all friends know?”
He should have changed his Facebook status to “married.” Maybe that would have been a better way to tell the whole world than to have all these awkward conversations. “Go talk to her. She’ll explain everything.”
Her light brown eyes squinted. “If you make her cry, I will...” Her brow furrowed as if searching for the appropriate punishment.
“Make me sorry?”
“You know I will.”
“I wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. She’s my best friend.”
“You mean wife.”
“That too.” Again, the desire to apologize to Christine for this whole fiasco weighed on him. He was supposed to help out a friend, not feel so convoluted over something he’d suggested with pure intentions.
“Go get your girls, Omar. Trinity and I have a lot to talk about.”
He didn’t need another invitation. With a dip of his head, he left. Maybe Jalissa would lose the attitude by the time he got back. Unfortunately, she wasn’t the only one with questions. He got stopped numerous times, people staring pointedly at his hand, as if waiting for him to make some grand announcement.
He sighed. They should have asked the pastor to put their marital news in this morning’s announcements. He just had to hang in there a little while longer. Then he could go home and navigate through the new normal.
Chapter Eight
Trinity curved her lips as high as they would go and prayed an innocent expression co
vered her face as Jalissa stopped before her with a hand to the hip and lips pressed tight.
“Uh-uh. Don’t give me that look.”
“What look? This is just my face.” She resisted the urge to point to it. That was probably too obvious.
Jalissa took a step forward, her black hair shading part of her face. “You. Married. Omar?” Her eyes were wide and a note of hurt tinged her words.
“I did,” she answered slowly, a hint of regret in her voice. She hadn’t meant to hurt Jalissa. But how could Trinity admit she’d gotten married when just thinking about it made her reach for some itch cream?
“When?”
She shifted on her feet. “Monday.”
“What!” Jalissa looked around and then lowered her voice. “And you’re just now telling me? After you’ve been married almost a week?” A hint of distress flashed in her friend’s light brown eyes.
Ugh. Trinity was a terrible friend. “I’m sorry for not telling you.” And she was now. But Jalissa would have tried to talk Trinity out of it, even when she’d felt reassurance that it was the right move. Despite the fact that being married still unnerved her. Plus, Jalissa would have insisted on being at the ceremony and that would have been too much like a true wedding. If Trinity could avoid any similarities to before—when the church had been decorated to the hilt and she’d waited and waited—everything would be better for it.
“Why wouldn’t you?”
“Just the mere thought gave me hives. Talking to you...” Trinity sighed. “It would have been that much more real.” She shared her concerns about the justice of the peace being too much like before.
“Then it’s not?” Jalissa dipped her head, looking at Trinity in confusion. “Y’all aren’t in love? Haven’t been secretly dating for months, or years?”
Trinity glanced around for prying ears, and quickly shared the details behind her and Omar’s arrangement.
“That’s a little extreme, Trinity.” Jalissa looked dumbfounded.
“Please, please, just be my friend.” She puffed out some air.
“You’re going to need one.” Jalissa shifted her hair behind her. “But I’ll be here. I already gave Omar the talk.”
“The what?”
“You know. The if-you-make-her-cry kind of talk. We understand each other.” Jalissa gave an abrupt nod, and Trinity chuckled inwardly.
Her friend was about a foot shorter than Omar and very petite. A stiff wind could knock her down...or at least have her leaning. To think Omar would be scared of her was comical. Then again, Jalissa did have a fierce temperament.
Trinity looped her arm through Jalissa’s. “It’ll be okay. I know what I’m getting into.”
“Do you really?”
Not at all. She was beginning to feel off balance around Omar, like something stirred in the air to draw them closer. Trinity gave a mental shake of the head. That was ridiculous. They were the best of friends. This marriage was making her emotions yo-yo.
“Of course. We talked and prayed before going to the judge.” Trinity patted Jalissa’s hand in reassurance. “Everything will work out.” She wished the words echoed in sincerity in her heart.
“I hope so.”
Omar strode in their direction, Joy on his hip and Faith walking beside him holding his hand. Joy grinned when she spotted Trinity and held out her arms.
Trinity didn’t think she could love the girls any more than she already had but being around them full-time had somehow made her heart grow ten times in affection. The love they gave so willingly, especially Joy, well, it was almost like she really was their mom—not merely a friend playing parent or the dreaded stepmother.
“Should we go through the line?” Omar asked. He eyed Jalissa warily and averted his gaze back to Trinity.
“Sounds good.” She turned to Jalissa. “Would you like to join us?”
“No, but I do expect a phone call this evening.”
“You can count on it.”
Jalissa flashed a tight smile before squinting her eyes in Omar’s direction. Trinity bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. That girl was a hoot.
Omar met Trinity’s gaze. “I saw the pastor on the way out here.”
“Oh yeah?”
He nodded. “I asked him to make an announcement for us before the prayer.”
Her stomach dipped. Soon everyone would know they were married. Ugh, why did her body have to flush with heat and bring on the urge to scratch? When would all things marriage-related not bother her so much? Jason was gone, hadn’t looked back once, so why should she keep her head in the past?
“I hope that was okay.”
“Of course. That was the plan.” She tried to smile. “It’ll probably lessen the stares.” And the logical part of her brain could admit that. It was the not-so-rational part that wanted to run screaming the other way.
Change the subject.
Trinity kissed Joy’s squishy cheek. “You hungry?”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“Do you want some fruit?” She pointed to a fruit salad that gleamed in the sunlight.
Joy bobbed her head up and down.
After adding cheese, crackers and some deli meat to Joy’s plate, Trinity led the little one to an empty picnic table. Omar followed with Faith trailing behind him. Trinity studied him, her pulse pounding strangely. Before they married, she could easily admit that he was handsome. Now the thought made her mouth dry and her heart perform strange acrobatics in her chest.
She needed to transform her mind and get it off of their new status quo. “I’m going back up to fix me a plate. Would you like me to make you one?” She gestured behind her.
Omar blinked and then a slow smile quirked the edges of his mouth. “That would be great.”
Oh, my word. The way his full lips tilted in that half smile had her eyes focused on him with an intensity that made no sense. She swallowed, coming back to the present. “Okay. What would you like?”
He told her while cutting Faith’s strawberries in half. The motion must have been second nature, but Trinity couldn’t ignore the cuteness factor. There was something about a father and his children. After repeating his request to ensure she got it right, Trinity headed for the food tables, thankful for the opportunity to get a breather.
“Attention, everyone!”
Trinity turned from the table to where the pastor stood on a chair, hands cupped around his mouth. “I have a special announcement to make.”
Her stomach rolled. Here it goes.
“This past week, two of our own got hitched.”
Lord, please don’t let me pass out. Because that would be ridiculous and maybe her marriage phobia was heading a little on that side of things.
“Please be sure to congratulate Omar Young and Trinity Davis, now Mrs. Young.”
The Mrs. did her in. Her head swam as her knees wobbled. She really was married. In some Twilight Zone spin, she’d willingly said I do. Would this become a real marriage where she’d have to worry about her heart being trampled on? Could she fall in love and send Omar running the same direction as Jason?
Her breath shuddered. No, no, no. This was Omar. Her best friend, not the love of her life. Her desire to remain distant from love hadn’t changed. Therefore, it wasn’t even an option. It was all as simple as that.
People began clapping and some of the congregation members came up to her, giving her a hug and offering their congratulations. A weak smile struggled to appear on her face at the well wishes.
Trinity turned, quickly filling her and Omar’s plates so she could go back to their table. The usual goodies were displayed, but there were also some new dishes. Every Sunday she tried to guess who made what. Sometimes the potluck contributors had been making the same dish for years and guessing was a matter of memory. Others, like the cheesecake beckoning to her, required
more effort on her part. Wow, that looked delicious.
She pulled out her cell phone to check her blood sugar. Her numbers were a little high. Her lips pursed in frustration. No cheesecake or any other dessert for her. She grabbed a brownie and slid it onto Omar’s plate. Thankfully she didn’t have to stare at him enviously and watch him eat it. Brownies weren’t her thing.
Omar gave her a smile of gratitude as she placed his plate in front of him. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Did a lot of people stop by and say congrats?”
“Just the ones around us.” He motioned to the nearby tables. “I imagine we’ll get more congratulations when it’s time to leave and everyone’s done eating.”
True. It wouldn’t be so bad then, because escape would be near.
As if sensing the direction of her thoughts, Omar offered encouragement. “Don’t worry, Trinity. We’ll figure it out. All of it.”
“You’re right,” she murmured. He usually was.
So why am I holding back tears? The whole affair had her so emotional. If she ever saw Jason again, she’d explain how much his simple no-show had altered her. Her self-esteem had plummeted, and her insecurities had increased.
Trinity took a bite of her food, all the while thinking of the conundrum of their convenient marriage. Sure, she would have health insurance and could continue to buy her insulin pods and other health care needs. Omar’s fatigue had already begun to recede from his eyes and face. He looked rested and cracked more smiles than usual. Obviously, the arrangement had helped him. She’d even like to think the girls were a little happier. But had their marriage made a mockery of the institution?
Trinity had always believed marriage to be sacred. That’s why Jason’s abandonment hurt so much. Alone at the altar with no warning, she’d been unworthy the first go-around. What made her think agreeing with her best friend to exchange vows suddenly made her fit to be a wife?
Lord, please help me. My thoughts are twisting my insides up more than a funnel cake at a fair. Because even though she couldn’t risk being in love a second time, Trinity didn’t want to be found wanting as a wife either.
