by Toni Shiloh
Joy grinned and wiggled, trying to get out of his arms. He placed her down and she scampered right to Trinity, raising her arms in the air. He watched as Trinity scooped her up, and Joy placed her hands on Trinity’s cheeks.
“Mommy.”
Trinity’s eyes watered.
He’d made the right decision. Trinity deserved a family and with the way she’d been guarding her heart, well, a marriage of convenience had opened a door for her dreams. Now he felt the need to protect his feelings.
Chapter Twelve
Trinity’s nerves rattled as Omar pulled into a parking spot. Tension had radiated from him ever since she dropped the mommy bomb. He didn’t cringe when Joy called her Mommy, but he hadn’t been cheering either.
She looked over her shoulder toward the girls, sitting in the back seat. They practically vibrated with excitement in their car seats. At least someone was happy.
Don’t let it get to you.
But the hurt coursing through her spoke of the pain lancing her heart. She didn’t know why she wanted Omar’s approval so much. Well, not approval but consent. Which he’d given, albeit grudgingly. Intellectually, she knew he wouldn’t be happy about the girls calling her Mommy, but she hadn’t wanted him to be so shocked either. Perhaps it was a deeper sign of his grief.
Once he put the vehicle in Park, Trinity hopped out of the Jeep to unbuckle Joy. Omar had already unhooked Faith and grabbed the diaper bag in the process. He’d probably get the stroller before she managed to free Joy from the car seat. Why was the tab so difficult to push?
“You got her?”
“I’m good.”
Omar came to her side of the car. “You sure?”
“Yes.” It came out more jubilant as the seat belt unhooked. She smiled, took Joy out of the car and swung her into the double stroller. “You girls ready?”
“Yes.” They beamed at her.
Children were such a precious gift from God. Thank You for letting me be in their lives. She straightened to find Omar staring at her. “What?” She looked down, searching for anything out of place.
“Just thinking. Nothing’s wrong.” He gave her a closemouthed smile.
That look often appeared when something bothered him. Trinity wished she could see his eyes to really gauge his mood, but he wore shades to block out the Texas sunshine and her prying eyes. Come to think of it, she had on a pair herself, so no one would be peering into anyone’s eyes.
Not that Omar would. They weren’t like that. His grief over Christine wouldn’t allow for anything more. He’d straight up told her there would never be anyone else. And that was fine.
Just fine.
She didn’t want to be in a relationship. They only brought heartache and despair. Plus, she couldn’t compete with longing for a deceased spouse. She would come up short every single time. She’d had enough of being found wanting.
“Trinity?”
“Hmm?” She glanced up.
“The passes are in the diaper bag.”
“Oh, right.” Her cheeks heated as she dug through the front pocket. When had they stopped at the ticket counter? She must have been walking on autopilot. The water park employee smiled, taking the passes from Trinity. After he scanned them, she tucked them back into the bag.
She looked at Omar. “Did you pack sunscreen?”
“No. I don’t even know if we own any.”
“Let’s stop over there.” She pointed at the nearby gift shop. The prices would be outrageous but at least they’d all be protected. She’d found out the hard way that her brown skin could sunburn. She’d hate for the girls to experience that form of torture.
After applying some on Faith and Joy, Trinity switched to her own shoulders before offering the bottle to Omar. Her eyes scanned the family crowds at the water park. A lot of moms were wrestling with their children alone. Yet some of them had their husbands with them, representing the American version of a family unit. The same look she and Omar displayed. But they were merely presenting a facade.
She sighed. Since when did the arrangement bother her so much?
“I think we should head to the waterworks area.” Omar’s words broke through her contemplations. “The girls can walk through the water sprays.”
“Sounds good.”
The water park wasn’t that busy today. Thursday was their full-price day for non–pass holders. Perhaps that’s what kept the crowds from being overwhelming. Then again, maybe most people were working while their kids were off at summer camp somewhere. Either way, it was nice to have the place relatively quiet.
They picked a shaded table to sit under, and Trinity placed their bags on the bench seating as Omar unbuckled the girls. She sat down to watch as Joy and Faith ran toward the sprinklers. Their beaded braids clicked with their movement as they shouted with excitement.
A woman parked her stroller at the table situated to the right of Trinity. She snuck a peek at the little boy in the stroller. He grinned a gap-toothed smile her way while holding on to a stuffed puppy and gnawing on the ear.
“He’s so cute,” Trinity said to the stranger.
“Thank you. Are those your girls?” She pointed toward Faith and Joy.
Trinity’s cheeks flushed and she resisted the urge to peek at Omar. Instead, she cleared her throat. “Yes, our girls, Faith and Joy.”
“Oh, I just love those names.” The woman rubbed her swollen belly. “I’m having a girl this time around and have been trying to figure out names.” She pointed to a redheaded boy playing in the sprinklers. “I’m excited since I already have two boys.”
“Congratulations. What are their names?”
“This little guy is Hunter, and the one splashing with your girls is Gunter.”
“Cute. And you’re braving the water park alone?”
“Oh no.” She gave a sheepish smile. “My husband went to get a locker for our other things. I overpack every time.”
Trinity chuckled. The compulsion to pack for every possible emergency was real. Omar had packed the diaper bag to keep Trinity from being “overly anxious” as he put it.
“I’m Beth.” The lady stuck her hand out, leaning over the stroller.
“Trinity, and this is Omar.” She placed a hand on Omar’s shoulder. He shifted his gaze from the girls and greeted Beth.
“Y’all are such an adorable family.”
Omar dipped his head in acknowledgment. “I think it’s the girls that bring the cuteness factor.”
Beth chuckled. “Kids garner us adults attention we wouldn’t get otherwise.”
“So true.” Just the other day an older woman had stopped Trinity to chat with the girls, remarking at how cute they were.
Omar stood and smiled. “I think I’ll play with the girls.”
Trinity nodded and turned to find Beth watching them. “How long have y’all been married?”
“Um, we’re actually newly married. And those are my stepdaughters.” She was pleased she kept herself from fidgeting. She’d even said the M word without the desire to scratch at imaginary hives.
“Oh.” Beth placed a hand over her heart. “That just hits me in all the feels. Did y’all have a whirlwind romance?”
Trinity almost choked on her spit at the question. She drew in a ragged breath, trying to school her features and find a look of calm.
“Mommy!” Faith shrieked.
Trinity whirled around and stared as Faith flailed about, swinging her arms around. Oh no. Omar tried to grab Faith to calm her down, but she rushed straight into Trinity’s arms.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?”
“Bee. Bee. Bee!”
Trinity grabbed Faith’s arms and held them to her sides. “Look at me. Take a deep breath for me.”
“Did it sting her?” Omar asked.
“Hold on.” Her eyes never left Fa
ith’s, hoping to reassure the girl she was okay.
Fear covered the sweet one’s face and her eyes darted around as if searching for the offender. “Where is he?”
Trinity glanced around. “I don’t see him, but if he comes back, I need you to be calm. Can you do that for me, brave girl?”
Faith nodded, beaded braids swinging with the movement.
“Did it sting you?”
“She got stung?” Omar asked.
Trinity shushed him. “Did it touch your skin? Land on you?”
“N-n-no. Scared me.”
Trinity let out a breath and wrapped Faith in her arms. “You’re okay, sweetie.”
Faith’s little arms squeezed Trinity’s neck, but she didn’t mind. There was comfort in knowing she could soothe another’s ache even if she couldn’t figure out how to care for her own.
* * *
Today was the firehouse’s family day. Every year the captain rented some bouncy houses, hired a face painter, and brought in entertainment in the form of a clown or some other kids’ performer. When Christine had passed, Omar had always felt awkward coming to the event with just his girls. Like he’d worn a sign saying widower, which sent all the other firefighter wives into a state of pitying glances and oh dears. Now that he was remarried and Trinity was coming, all he could think of was the comment made by the woman from the water park: Y’all are such an adorable family.
Giving the girls a family had been one of the pros of getting married and he could tell how much they’d begun to thrive under Trinity’s care. It confirmed the rightness of their decision, but now his heart had begun to want a life that would only bring heartache. He couldn’t let this marriage become real to him. Maintaining some sort of distance would prevent his heart from falling a second time—because unlike jumping out of a burning building, there was no inflatable device for one’s heart to land on.
“Young, your family just walked in.”
Omar spun around at Rider’s announcement. “Thanks. I’ll go meet them.”
“Everything okay? You’re looking a little peaked.”
He shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll live.” And that was the problem. He’d lived and Christine hadn’t. Cancer was cruel and no respecter of persons. He couldn’t guarantee that Trinity wouldn’t suffer a similar fate and once again, he’d be on his own.
And every cliché about life not being fair blared in his head like a doomsday alarm.
But he had to shake it off. Trinity and the girls were here now and would expect him to be happy and ready to participate in the fun.
Omar wiped a hand down his face and followed Rider through the bay and outside. Some of the firefighters’ wives had set up tables—buffet-style—with potluck offerings. The bouncy houses were full of little ones and their giggles punctuated the sounds of adult conversation.
He spotted Trinity talking to the captain’s wife. She wore a long red dress that showed a hint of her sandals. Her braids cascaded behind her shoulders. And even from this distance, he could see the sparkle of her wedding ring.
His gut clenched as he stared down at his own. Had saying I do cracked the barrier around his heart? Allowed him to see her as more than just a friend? Get it together, Young. He drew in a breath, ignoring the ache in his chest and strolled over to say hi.
“Hey, Omar.” Trinity grinned, shading her eyes with a hand.
She looked pretty and he couldn’t deny he was happy to see her. “Hi, there.” He nodded to the captain’s wife. “Mrs. Simms.”
“Omar.” She offered a smile. “I wanted to congratulate you two.”
“Thank you.” They spoke simultaneously.
He looked at Trinity. “Where are your sunglasses?”
She shrugged. “Misplaced them.”
“One of the girls probably found them. You want me to see if I have an extra pair?”
“That’s all right. I’ll be okay.”
“Y’all are so sweet,” Mrs. Simms exclaimed. “I love watching newlyweds when the bloom of true love is fresh and new.”
Omar tensed. He didn’t want to be in love. Didn’t want that hurt again. Granted, he couldn’t tell Mrs. Simms that.
“I think what you’re seeing is years of friendship, Mrs. Simms,” Trinity said. She sent a quick smile his way. It reminded him of the conversation they’d had about loving one another. They were the best of friends. If only he could keep his mind focused on a friendship level of feelings instead of wondering what if.
“I almost forgot y’all’ve been friends forever.”
He smiled. “Mrs. Simms, if you’ll excuse us, we’re gonna go get the girls.”
“Certainly.”
He motioned for Trinity to follow him.
“How’s your shift going?”
“Better now.” He grinned at her, intent on focusing on her as a friend. “How’s the parenting shift going?”
A gentle smile curved her lips. “We colored this morning and said our A-B-Cs.”
“You’re the best.”
She paused, looking up at him. “What brought that on?”
“I see the way you care for Faith and Joy. The love you shower on them. I’m more thankful than I can say.”
“They make love easy.”
“On the good days, right?”
She chuckled. “Even on the bad. They stare up at me with those big puppy-dog eyes, and I can’t stay mad.”
He understood that perfectly. Because when Trinity laughed at his jokes, cared for him and his girls, he couldn’t help but feel those little cracks in the armor around his heart. Almost like he was helpless and doomed to fall. No. Remember, friendship feelings only.
Trinity shook her head, a look of bemused amusement tugging a dimple forward. He must have seen that dimple a dozen times but it snared his gaze for a second that lasted almost long enough to be considered a moment.
“Omar?”
He blinked. “Sorry, what?”
She pointed behind him. “Do you want to take a photo with the girls?”
“Sure.” He forgot the captain had set up a makeshift photo booth.
They called for the girls to exit the bounce house and made their way to the end of the photo line. He watched as some of the families grabbed the available props to make their pictures more fun.
“Should we use the props?” Trinity asked.
“I was just wondering about that.” He looked down. “Girls, do you want to use some props for the pictures?”
“Angel wings!” Joy shouted. She pointed to some white wings laid out on the table nearby.
Omar grabbed them and slid them onto Joy’s arms so they could flutter against her back.
“What about you, Faith?” Trinity knelt in front of his daughter.
“I want the halo.”
“Two angels,” Omar noted. He kissed Faith’s cheek as he slid the halo Trinity handed him on top of her head like a headband.
They stepped forward and took their spot in front of the canvas background. The photographer took a few shots, then gave them a number and pointed to a booth. “My assistant can download these and make y’all some copies.”
“Thanks, man.” Omar shook his hand and led the girls to the printing area.
As they stared down at the printed images, Faith sniffled.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
“I happy.”
Oh wow. Could three-year-old girls already know about happy tears?
“What are you happy about?” Trinity asked.
“There’s a daddy and a mommy in the picture.”
Omar stared speechless as the impact of her words settled around him. If he had any doubts he’d done the right thing in marrying Trinity, Faith’s words would certainly erase them. His girls needed a mom and Trinity would be that for them.
Seeing how happy his girls were made him glad they married. He just had to remember they could only be friends. The kids were the ones supposed to be benefiting from the convenience, not him. He couldn’t let it turn into anything more.
Chapter Thirteen
Today’s disaster had completely defeated Trinity. She lay facedown on her bed, unable to move as the horror of the day went through her mind like a movie montage. It all started when Joy had decided screaming at the highest pitch possible was the only way to answer Trinity’s questions. Her ears were still ringing.
As if that hadn’t been bad enough, Faith had dissolved into meltdown mode, shrieking during snack time, once more deciding ants on a log was not acceptable fare. When Trinity had refused to make anything else, the shrieks of no ramped up. She was surprised the cops weren’t called in for a welfare check between the two shrieking toddlers.
Who knew telling a toddler to sit on the stairs for time-out would cause such a visceral reaction? The depths of despair intoned in Faith’s cries almost made Trinity capitulate to her demands of no time-out. Almost.
The icing on the cake? Omar wouldn’t return from work until noon tomorrow. Granted, he’d have the next three days off as the station got ready to do some weird shift change she didn’t understand—even though Omar had tried repeatedly to explain the process to her. No, what worried her the most was he’d be home for three days straight.
Three. Days.
Things between them had been weird lately. Sometimes she’d catch Omar staring at her almost like he had feelings for her. And not the kind that had them telling jokes and doing their BFF fist bump. No, the kind that would normally have one singing “Chapel of Love.” But since they’d skipped the normal progression and settled for a marriage of convenience, Trinity didn’t know what to think.
Surely Omar’s feelings hadn’t changed. Christine had been his one and only and he knew how Trinity felt about romance.
She flinched as her app trilled. Trinity rolled onto her back and stared at the screen. Confusion filled her at the blinking number. Her blood sugar was seventy? Not terrible, but enough for the app to scream for her to eat some food. She stood up.
