“A good idea,” Sarah said, and he thought he saw some humor glimmer in her gaze. “Go on, then.”
Levi headed out the side door, his jacket forgotten. He didn’t care—he had to say this to the right woman, not her mother. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Sarah in the window. She was smiling this time—a little personal smile that turned up the corners of her lips. Perhaps he’d have her family’s blessing, after all.
Rosmanda paled when she saw him, and she reined in the horses. Levi headed over to where she’d stopped and looked up at Rosmanda with the reins in her hands.
“I thought I’d lend a hand,” he said. “Help you unhitch.”
“That’s why you’ve come?” she asked breathily.
“No, I came to . . . to see you,” he said. “I—” He couldn’t do it like this. He held his hand out. “Come down here, would you? A man can’t propose from down here.”
“Propose?” she whispered.
“Come down here,” he repeated. “I’m kissing you first.”
Rosmanda took his hand and as soon as her feet were on solid ground, he gathered her up in his arms and covered her lips with his. It felt like coming home—warm and sweet and slow. She melted against him, and when he pulled back, she blinked blearily up into his eyes.
“I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you, too, Levi.”
“And I know you want to be careful, Rosie. I know I’ve had a rocky few years, and that probably proves I’m not the kind of guy you can trust, but, you’ve got to know that even with my heart in tatters and thinking I’d never see you again, I didn’t take a drink.”
“Levi, that’s wonderful,” she said.
“I’m not perfect, but I love you more than you know. And I’ll be good to you. I’ll come home to you. I’ll open up to you and be the man you need me to be. I just . . . I was scared, too. You didn’t want me when you saw me at my most vulnerable, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try this again. You know me now as a man—and you’ve seen me now. So . . . what do you think?”
It hadn’t come out exactly right, and she looked up at him in silence for a moment. He tried to remember what he’d just said. It hadn’t quite been a proposal, had it?
“I’ve been thinking, too,” she said, her voice low. “I’ve been so careful after my big scandal at sixteen. I’ve done everything I could to avoid any more risk. And now with my girls, I wanted to keep them safe, to keep them as far from my bad choices as possible . . . but it’s also possible to be so good and to avoid so much risk that you miss out on the one thing you want most—”
“And what do you want?” he whispered.
“You . . .”
“Yah?” He put a hand on her cheek and looked down at her hopefully. “I don’t think I actually said the words yet. Rosie, marry me. Please.”
Rosmanda nodded, tears welling in her eyes. “Yah.”
Had she really just agreed? Levi kissed her again, and this time the feeling of her in his arms felt like the greatest blessing of his life. The thought of marrying Rosmanda, raising the twins with her, having more kinner together, and being the man who got to slide into bed next to her at night made him feel like life couldn’t get more beautiful than this.
When he finally broke off the kiss, the side door to the house opened and he turned to see Sarah Graber standing in the doorway, a smile wreathing her face. From inside, he could hear the cry of babies—woken from their nap, perhaps?
“Come inside, then!” Sarah called. “The babies are awake, and if there’s an engagement, we have planning to do!”
So it would start—his life with Rosmanda. Rosie hurried ahead of him, and he went into the kitchen to wait on her. When she came downstairs with the babies in her arms, his heart flooded with love. They’d be his . . . and he’d do right by all three of them.
Sarah put a hand on his arm, and he looked over at his soon-to-be mother-in-law.
“You might want to start calling me Mamm,” she said. “In private, of course, until we announce your engagement in church.”
“Thanks, Mamm,” he said, and she pressed him down into a kitchen chair and nudged the plate and cup in front of him again.
“Eat up,” she said.
Rosmanda tipped Susanna into his arms, and then sat in the chair next to him. Here in her mamm’s kitchen, he couldn’t exactly kiss her again like he wanted to, but there would be plenty of time for the leisurely things he wanted to do with her. A whole lifetime.
“I love you,” he whispered.
And Sarah pretended not to see, but Rosmanda leaned over and kissed him briefly anyway. He couldn’t wait to marry her.
Epilogue
Normally, an engagement was kept secret until the very end of the summer when the banns would be announced in church. But it was hard to keep this secret. Between the four whole rows of celery the Grabers were growing that summer, and all the visits from Levi Lapp, who came a full four times before the actual banns were read, the whole community was unsurprised when they were formally invited to the wedding. But as Sarah Graber said, some weddings required a little more fanfare to keep down the gossip, and every single last stalk of celery was going to be needed for wedding soup that fall, seeing as they were inviting so many people.
When the harvest was done, Levi and Rosmanda were married on a Thursday. The day was sunny and bright, and they were married outside in a field to accommodate all the guests. Stephen and Miriam traveled out for the wedding, and Miriam and Sarah kept the wedding trailer bustling as the women cooked up a feast to feed three sittings of guests.
The party went on late into the evening, and when Rosmanda and Levi retired to Rosmanda’s old bedroom in her parents’ house, the toddlers were snuggled into the bedroom with their grandparents to give the new couple some privacy. Susanna and Hannah were both walking now, and both slept through the night without any trouble. So much changed in a matter of six months.
Rosmanda sat on the edge of her bed feeling bashful as she looked up at Levi. She knew what to expect from a marriage now, but facing this particular man in her bedroom started butterflies in her stomach. They were married . . . and all that she’d been longing for could finally be hers.
Levi took off his black hat and tossed it onto the dresser, then eased his suspenders off his broad shoulders. He sank onto the bed next to her and leaned back onto one elbow.
“I love you,” he said.
“I love you, too . . .” She smiled hesitantly, then licked her lips. She felt nervous now, for some reason. A little anxious.
Levi pushed himself back up and leaned over to cover her lips with his. She let her eyes slide shut, enjoying his kiss. When he pulled back, he reached behind her head and took the pins out of her hair that held her kapp and her bun in place. He removed them one by one, dropping them onto the quilt next to them until her hair fell down around her shoulders. She smiled, then.
“Your hair is for your husband,” he said quietly. “Well, now it’s for me. Finally.”
“It’s only proper,” she said.
The room was chilly at this time of year, and the cold air from outside crept toward them from the window.
“I’m going to take care of you,” Levi said quietly. “I’m going to provide for you and our kinner, and I’m going to be coming to bed with you every single night for the rest of our lives. That’s a promise.”
“I know, Levi,” she said.
“But I need you to hear it,” he said. “These are promises on top of those vows we took today, but I want them to count just as much. I’m not going to drink another drop of alcohol, and I’m going to be the man you need, Rosie. Not just the one you want.”
“You’re the man I love,” she said, and she leaned forward to kiss him. His lips were warm and supple in response.
“Come to bed with me,” he said, and he stood up, tugging her to her feet, too. He peeled off his shirt, and then whipped back the wedding quilt that she’d been working on so long that summe
r. It was a tree—but this one was in full summer glory. There were birds in the branches, and different colors of green melding together for the leaves. It represented a fresh start, a new beginning . . . a new marriage.
Levi tugged her down to the bed, and as they pulled that quilt over them on their first night as husband and wife, Rosmanda knew she was safe in Levi’s arms and in his heart. But more than safe, she felt the immense blessing of having married the man who filled her heart to overflowing, too.
A happy life wasn’t about being a “good wife,” it was about being a truly satisfied wife, and her happiness overflowing to her home around her.
“Levi, the lamp,” she whispered, and Levi moaned, and she laughed at his frustration. He flung the quilt back again and got up to snuff it out. Darkness descended on the room, and he crawled back into bed next to her once more.
“Good enough?” he asked quietly.
“Yah,” she said with a soft laugh. “Perfect.”
“Good,” he said, pulling her close once more. “Now, where were we?”
This day was the beginning of the biggest risk she’d ever take, but the most satisfying, too. He wasn’t the perfect Amish man any more than she was the perfect Amish woman, but he was perfect for her. Maybe he wouldn’t be strong in all the ways she was weak. Maybe she’d have to strengthen herself, too. But it was worth it—to belong to each other.
Rosmanda was Levi’s wife, and as she melted into his embrace, she knew she was well and truly home in his arms.
Please turn the page for an exciting sneak peek of Patricia Johns’s next Amish romance,
JEB’S WIFE,
coming soon wherever print and eBooks are sold!
“Rebecca’s far enough along in her pregnancy that she’s showing,” Rosmanda said, nudging the plate of shortbread cookies toward Leah. “I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, but you’d notice it on Service Sunday. She’s not exactly being modest about it. It’s as if she refuses to let her dresses out until the last minute. I’d tell her that it’s not proper, but it isn’t my place. She’d got a mamm of her own. All I can say is, I’m much further along than she is, and I’m perfectly capable of letting a dress out. And as for my girls, I’ll make sure they act with more propriety than that.”
Leah forced a weak smile, but she didn’t touch the plate of cookies. It wasn’t right to be talking behind someone’s back—but sometimes an update was necessary so she could smother her natural reaction to seeing her ex-fiancé’s new wife. Leah had been gone for eight months while she taught school in another community, and a lot had changed.
“You have a few years yet before you have to worry about your girls,” Leah said with a short laugh. “They’re only four.”
“I’m thinking ahead,” Rosmanda replied, but humor didn’t glimmer in her eyes. She was serious.
“The thing is, Matthew wanted children,” Leah said. “At least he’s getting them.”
It was the kindest thing Leah could think of to say. Matthew had broken her heart and tossed her aside, then immediately began courting a girl just off her Rumspringa.
“That isn’t your fault,” Rosmanda said, lowering her voice. “Leah, I don’t know why God allowed you to be born with a malformed uterus, but it isn’t fair to cast aside a woman because she can’t give birth.”
“Maybe it is fair.” Leah shrugged. “Matthew wanted children—what Amish man doesn’t? And I can’t give that! So, if he knew what he wanted, and we weren’t married yet, he wasn’t in the wrong. Technically.”
“So he’s married himself an eighteen-year-old wife,” Rosmanda said, and she shook her head. “I don’t mean to degrade her. She’s family, after all. Rebecca is beautiful, sweet, and from what my husband says, she’s a good cook. But she’s young, and Matthew is—how old is he now?”
“Twenty-five,” Leah replied, her voice tight.
Leah was thirty, and dating a boy five years younger than her had already been a stretch. She’d prayed for a husband since she was a young teenager. And now that she was advancing into her old maid status, she’d thought that Matthew was her answer to prayer—her reward for patient waiting. God rewarded the good girls, didn’t He? He worked miracles. He made a way. But her wedding had never happened. He’d dumped her, and she’d accepted a teaching position that would allow her to get out of town and try to heal from the breakup.
“Rebecca’s only eighteen . . .” Rosmanda grimaced. “When you’re eighteen you think you’re ready to take on marriage and children, but you’re not quite so grown-up as you think. She married a man who’d been dating another woman for three years. And no one warned her that there would be complicated feelings left between you and Matthew.”
“I don’t want to hold him back,” Leah said. “She has nothing to worry about me.”
“I might have wanted to hold her back!” Rosmanda retorted. “I’ve told you about Mary Yoder, haven’t I? Many a girl plows ahead with a marriage and lives to regret it. I didn’t want that for Rebecca. But she’s related to my husband, and I’m just an in-law there.”
“Matthew made his choice,” Leah replied.
“Did you know that Matthew’s been asking about you?” Rosmanda replied. “And spending a whole lot of time with your brother.”
“They’re good friends,” she replied. “They have been for years. And if he still cares what becomes of me, maybe I should be glad that some of his feelings might have been genuine.”
Rosmanda sighed. “And I also know you, Leah. I’m not saying Rebecca has anything to worry about you . . . You’re a good woman, and he’s officially off-limits. But that doesn’t mean this will be easy on Rebecca.”
And maybe it wouldn’t be, but Rebecca had won. She had Matthew as her husband, and she was pregnant with his child. Uncomfortable or not, Rebecca would survive just fine.
The side door opened and four-year-old Hannah came into the kitchen, followed by her twin sister, Susanna. They weren’t quite identical twins, but it was close. Hannah had always been just a little bit blonder than her sister, and right now, their dresses were covered in dirt from the garden and their bare feet were brown with soil. Rosmanda heaved a sigh.
“Little girls need to stay clean,” Rosmanda said, rising to her feet, her own pregnant belly doming out in front of her as she rose. “We’ll have to wash your dresses now, and that’s even more work for your mamm!”
“Sorry, Mamm . . .” Hannah wiped her dirty hands down the sides of her dress, and Leah couldn’t help but smile. The girls started toward their mother.
“No, no!” Rosmanda said. “Stay right there. I don’t need dirty footprints all over the house.”
Those girls were a handful, and in a matter of months, Rosmanda would have a new baby to add to the mix.
“I should get back home,” Leah said, standing, too. “Thank you for the chat.”
Rosmanda grabbed a cloth from the sink and shot Leah an apologetic smile. “So soon? You’ve hardly eaten a thing.”
Leah didn’t have much appetite anyway.
“I’ve got to start dinner for my brother, and I can’t be holding you up, either,” Leah said. “I’ll see you again soon, I’m sure.”
Leah smoothed her hand over Hannah’s hair as she passed the girl on her way to the door. Kinner . . . she’d never have any babies of her own, and there was a part of her heart that ached when she saw her friends’ little girls. This was the goal for an Amish woman—to marry and have a family of her own. Leah hadn’t managed to do either of those things, and at the age of thirty, her chance at those domestic joys were past. It was best to admit it and face the truth.
Outside in the warm June sunlight, Rosmanda’s husband, Levi, helped Leah hitch up the buggy. Rosmanda and Levi Lapp lived on two acres of land near the town of Abundance and a short buggy ride from the Amish schoolhouse. That would be convenient for them when the girls were old enough to start school. They had family concerns . . . and they were fortunate. Other women were married, having babies, r
aising kids. And Rebecca was already round with her pregnancy. That mental image was an uncomfortable one, and Rosmanda’s warning had been well-meant.
No one had written to tell Leah. That was how pity worked, though. People smiled sadly and kept their mouths shut. Was that the point she was at now—being pitied?
Maybe she was grateful to not have had that thought of Matthew’s impending fatherhood the last few months. And maybe she wasn’t, because it meant that she was beyond hope in the community’s eyes.
When the buggy was hitched and Leah had hoisted herself up onto the seat, Levi gave Leah a friendly wave.
“Thank you, Levi,” she said. “It’s much appreciated.”
“Take care now,” he said, giving her a nod, and she flicked the reins and the horse set out for home.
The sun was high and bees droned around the wildflowers that grew up out of the ditch beside the road. Coming back to Abundance for the summer was more work than teaching in Rimstone. She’d have canning to do to refill their pantry, herbs to dry, a thorough cleaning of their little house to accomplish, too. Her brother, Simon, had been working at an RV manufacturer in town, but he’d been laid off, so his money had dried up. Besides, he was a man, and he only did as much women’s work as would keep him fed and clothed in her absence. Finding a wife might be prudent for her brother, except he’d made a name for himself already and the daughters in Abundance stayed clear of him.
Leah felt more responsible for Simon than most. Their parents died in a buggy accident when Leah was sixteen, so she’d skipped her Rumspringa and raised her eight-year-old brother the best she knew how.
Her mind was moving ahead to dinner, though. Simon liked her fried chicken, and this being her second day back in the community after returning from her teaching position in Rimstone, she wanted to make something special they could enjoy together. They’d stopped by the grocery store when her brother picked her up from the bus station, so the cupboards were stocked once more, and she was looking forward to cooking in her own kitchen again. A woman of thirty needed some counter space to call her own.
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