by Zoey Kinsman
Reluctantly, I went and got in his car with bag in hand. Sitting across from him, I gave him my best sweet face, “Can I have a kiss at least?”
“Of course.”
I leaned in toward him, his kisses always so full, wet and wonderful. Lost in his mouth and that tongue, he held me captive. We had started something.
Breathlessly, he called out to me from the depths of our connection. “Anne…please. We have to stop now, or I won’t be able to stop us again.” The desperation in his voice pleaded with me not to let him be the bad one in the relationship.
Severing my mouth from his abruptly was so hard. It felt like losing a part of myself.
“I’m sorry; you just do things to me.” Putting my sunglasses on so he couldn’t see how much he got to me, I looked forward to signal I was ready to go.
“And you do things to me.” He breathed deeply, trying to recompose himself as quickly as possible. “Okay, I think I can drive now.” He started the engine and we took off toward my office. We held hands the entire time.
When he got to my building, he kissed me quick and said he’d see me at five o’clock right back here. I nodded and jumped out.
Hoping time would go by fast, I made for the front door to start my day.
Chapter 7
He was there that day to pick me up as promised, and then he was there every day onward. We did spend our weekdays at my place and weekends at his. Our bond grew deeper as the days passed. Where once we both thought we loved enough, our hearts and beings opened to receive even greater love. It was astonishing for both of us when every day presented something new. The sex remained amazing.
In the end, I did agree to attend his promotional events as his biographer. We didn’t want to lose precious moments together. It proved a good decision. Those times were quite amusing, lots of shits and giggles. Starting out, he would introduce me, and I would then move over to the side while he walked the red carpet. All the while I made like I was taking notes of great interest about him. Instead, I wrote dirty little notes. My notepad was marked with thoughts on how his penis looked that particular night hidden in his pants, what his bulge was doing. Sometimes I showed him those notes, and then he showed me right from wrong.
When he was done with his interviews and photo ops, we would meet up again, me waiting off in the distance where I could easily be spotted. When he was finally done with his responsibilities, watching him walk back toward me sent shivers up my spine. It shone a light on the innate sexiness and masculine prowess that others saw in him as hypnotic. Had he not been mine, I might have missed it. It made me grateful that he was mine. As well, I saw the asshole he could play just for the media up close and personal. To me, it was a shield he erected to keep himself emotionally separate, but I didn’t want to analyze too much because he was already aware of it and had made sense of it in his own way. I never saw it directed toward me, so all was good.
Back at my side, always the gentleman, he made introductions as people came around to say their hellos. But many of the industry people already knew me. We huddled and pretended like we were deep in conversation, when in fact we were digesting the crowd and mocking the absurd. There was much absurd to experience. Sometimes colleagues would question why I would take Paul on as a client, why now? Although I found the questions intrusive, I also felt that if I didn’t supply a convincing answer, they might see it as fodder for gossip. So I always covered my tracks. I told them how his life story was compelling, and as he was at some height of popularity that of course his book would make for a bestseller. I came across as money driven, and they seemed to like that and buy into it. Greed was always a moving motivator. Paul and I just laughed at them all. He suggested I tell them that I was only there for the great cock and sex. At times I was tempted to tell that tale, but my instinct to protect him took precedence.
Actually, those events were a good excuse to get dolled up and let him finger me in the back of the limo. He loved to run his hands up my dress or into my panties. In return, and as a means of thanks, I loved to take care of his boner problems. We’d drink champagne, get a little high, and then fuck. I’d see how fast I could rumple his tux, and he’d see how fast he could get me off. When the limo stopped to let us out, it was a mad, funny dash to figure out how fast we could rearrange ourselves and look normal and business-like. Paps were always waiting outside the limo for Paul, so we had to really pull off the biographer-artist thing well or risk getting caught. I was sure we would never be suspected because of the age thing, but he wasn’t so sure. Those limo rides were such good, wicked times.
Not to mention that he always carried little packets of lube on him everywhere, flavors that excited either the senses or taste buds. Chocolate, vanilla, cherry, and of course, the nut flavors such as toasted nuts. He had them all in small versions and would whip one out whenever needed. At home, in the night tables, he made sure to keep a stock of full size versions. Paul knew his dick well. He was well endowed, so the glide was the thing that always helped him out, or better yet, helped him get it in. It never dawned on him that it helped me with my dryness issue. In the end, it made for fun times, and that was all that mattered.
Another week went by, and it felt like we had known each other for years. So in sync with each other, growing more intimately closer as the hours, days, and weeks passed. It did appear that some kind of divine providence had brought us together. Or perhaps it made for a good argument that past lives do exist, and we were just reconnecting. Either way, we were inseparably joined. Like two little kids on a playground the carousel went around and around, and the more we played with each other, the more we never wanted it to end.
* * * *
After week two of our unending togetherness, he had a little surprise that he decided to spring on me.
It was the Friday after a long and busy week. This was the week that Trish and I had spent hours deciding on the author I was iffy about and that she wanted. After lengthy discussions back and forth with said author, I actually decided to take her on. She was somehow able to convince me that she was worth the risk, and that it was our agency, and me in particular, that she wanted to work with. Little did Trish know, but it was her faith in that particular author that made it all possible. I did let the author know that she would first and foremost be working with Trish, and I would supervise the end product. She agreed, since all her prior dealings with Trish had been good. Trish couldn’t believe that I was letting her take the lead on this client, but again I reinforced that it was time to step up. Paul helped me see that even if I wanted to take a holiday or break, I needed Trish to know and do more. So this was her first big break.
That’s how my week went until his big request at dinner, which was more of a surprise. We were out at a chic chophouse in West Hollywood doing our biographer thing, which we did in public now so that it was a non-story to the paparazzi.
Munching away on a shared wedge salad, he began, “Anne, I have been thinking about it, and I think we need to travel together.”
“Huh? Ohh…okay, you mean when you get back from filming and we have more time? Yeah, I think that would be really nice.”
“No, I mean that we need to take a week now and just get out of here. I have no commitments next week, and it would be great to get out of the city and drive up to the Big Sur area. I’d find us a nice quiet place just for the two of us to do what we do best.” Then he shot me the cutest wink.
I wasn’t quick to respond. Things were going along nicely here, why fix it if it ain’t broke?
“Why are you hesitating? What’s got you freaked?”
“I’m not sure. I think it’s a couple of things. I guess in terms of work, it’s not a great time. But then again, it’s never a great time…but summer is actually quieter.” I pondered that out loud, then went on to say, “And if Trish didn’t know what to do, she could always text me or just take a message, right?”
He nodded. “So, are we good? Should I do some research and book it?”
“What about us?”
“What about us?” He looked perplexed about the statement.
“What if we don’t get along? What if we are pushing it too far too fast?”
“Ohhh, that argument again…it’s the fear argument. Haven’t heard it in a while, but there it is.”
“Be fair. It’s just that I don’t want to push things and have it blow up on us. I’m happy how things have been going.” I wanted to touch him to reassure him, but knew if we were intimate in any way, someone would inevitably see it and post it or talk about it.
“Well, we have been together day and night, and things have only gotten better every day. If you want to measure success in a relationship, that’s a good indicator, I would think.”
Again there was silence from me as he sat there and examined my face for further understanding.
“You make a good argument for the pro side of things. Okay, let’s do it! I’ll text Trish that I’m not coming in next week. I’d love to see her face when she gets that message. She’ll be shocked.” We both laughed. “Should I tell her I’m going away for a week of fornication with you? Can you imagine it? It would give the girl and millions of others heartaches.” I laughed, but he didn’t. “Why isn’t that funny?”
“Because when you say shit like that it invalidates us. It invalidates what we have is real.”
“Come on…please…how many people are going to actually believe that what we have and feel for each other is real? There will be a ton of pseudo reasons why we are together, and all plausible. Only you and I know the truth, and frankly, that’s all that’s important. I’m not invalidating us being real.”
“Fine, as long as we are going, because I really do need a break from L.A. and the bullshit.”
“What bullshit are you referencing?” Now he had me concerned.
“Just work bullshit. Scheduling, scripts, deadlines, table reads, wardrobe fittings, plane tickets, departure dates…” His voice trailed off on the last one.
We had little time left together if we were talking reality. It was squarely hitting both of us now that our budding romance would lose its bloom in a matter of two more weeks.
“My beauty, I can’t handle the thought of being without you…” Again, his voice was low and trailed off toward the end of the sentence.
“Please Paul, let’s not think of it now. I’m begging you, please, let’s enjoy every day we have together. Every day with you and in your arms is a blessing for me, it’s a gift. We’ll deal with your leaving when the time comes. There will be lots of time to be sad. For now, I want to just be with you.”
My words must have spoken to his heart, because he heard. “You are so right. Carpe diem, right?”
“Right, one day at a time. These past weeks have been amazing, and now I’m looking forward to climbing in your car and going away with you, just you and me, and leaving the world behind.”
“Just you and me leaving the world behind…I like that very much. Good stuff. We can open the computer back at my place and look up resorts together. That’ll be amazing.” He was all smiles now. I would have given anything to be in his arms at that moment. Sensing it, he licked his lips provocatively, showing me a bit of tongue. “Can I show you my appreciation later for your agreeing to come away with me?”
“Oh, baby, I love it when you show me your appreciation.”
“Then we’ll have much to look forward to later.”
Later was a divine dessert from a man who always served up a delicious main course. I could always count on him to finish it off well. His ranking as an actor was climbing, but where he stood as a lover was firmly established. He was indeed a professor over my body. He earned and deserved all the accolades. The man who loved to fuck had fine-tuned his skills and could take it to any level.
Lying in bed naked, next to him, possessive feelings overcame me. This man had just made me scream for the heavens to release me into oblivion, taking him with me, and now I didn’t want to let him go. Watching him lie there meditating with his eyes closed, he looked so exquisite both in mind and body. That strong muscular chest and arms, the triangle that led to his beautiful cock, and those legs all housed a spirit whose flame was kindred. He understood life as few could ever imagine. How could life have been so cruel to him? How could life be so cruel to me once more to take him away from me in a few weeks’ time? I didn’t think I could bear the pain, but somehow, I would have to find a way to make it till he returned.
He opened one eye and looked at me. “If you’re not sleeping, you’re always thinking. Why is that?”
“I have a brain and like to use it?”
“Is that it?” he asked as he jumped on top of me playfully and pinned me under him. “Now fess up, what were you thinking about?”
Looking away, my eyes filled with tears, but I didn’t want to ruin the beauty that surrounded our recent experience. I didn’t want to take away from every second that included only us.
Pulling me back with his gaze and forcing me to look at him now, knowing the pain well, he spoke for us. “We’ll make it happen. We are together for always, no matter distance or time. Believe in us, my beauty. Believe as you promised. Because if you don’t honor your commitment to me, it’ll break me, and I can tell from the way you look at me that you would never hurt me.”
Leaning down, his kiss touched my lips…electric. The currents of pure love flowed freely between us. My body moved to reach his and he responded, cleaving us together.
“I’m only good with you.”
“I’m only good with you.”
We clung to each other. So much chance and risk, yet love demanded we listen.
“Let’s get up, put on some clothes, and do our research.”
“Good idea. I’m so looking forward to just being away with you. If I’m allowed to say, I’m just looking forward to being in your arms without having to get up and go somewhere. It’ll be nice not to rush to and from each other every day.”
“Well said. I agree.”
He gave me his hand and we got up together, showered and dressed together, and stayed glued together looking at Big Sur area resorts at his computer desk. I sat on his lap as he Googled different things for us to look at. Critiquing and examining them, we found that again, we both liked the same things. No surprise there anymore.
When the reservations were made, I shot off a text message to Trish, explaining that I needed a break and next week would be good since we weren’t so busy, also adding that I trusted her to keep the business safe and that if she needed me to just call or text. She returned a text immediately and said she would hold down the fort, but not before asking me if everything was okay. Why had it to come to this? Why did something have to be wrong for me to take a vacation? Those were ideas left for me to deal with at another time. Right now, I had chosen to spontaneously head north with my lover in tow. It had been a long time since I made the most of what was presented to me. This was my time. This was his time. We were making it happen.
Chapter 8
On Saturday we packed only the essentials and mapped out our route north. We wanted to be able to get there before sunset, stopping along the way to take in some of the natural beauty the landscape would present. Remarkably, both transplants to the area, neither one had journeyed north to Big Sur before, truly making it a trip into uncharted territory.
Our excitement was palpable. Sunday morning we rose early, Paul packed up his SUV, and we headed out onto the highway, looking for adventure in whatever came our way. Were we born to be wild? In bed, there was no doubt. But right now adventure looked really good with him driving and me lounging and grooving to the tunes on the radio. Loving the way the sun would always hit the angles of his face, I would reach with a mere touch and he would respond with a knowing look. We drove till we hit our first stop.
In Santa Monica we decided to go for a walk along the wharf and head into town for some food, refreshments, and restroom pit stops. Wearing only shorts an
d tees, the warmth of the sun tanned us wherever bare skin was exposed. Holding hands the entire time, our flip flops clapped along the pavement and our movements took on their own rhythmic dance elements. Spirits soared as if set free.
We stopped every time there was something of interest or something of beauty to observe. We took pictures of what we saw. We took stuck-together selfies. where Some were funny, and others were serious and full of love. When we went into an eating establishment, Paul donned his camouflage. With sunglasses on, he’d tie his hair back and throw on a ball cap. We had agreed to let his beard grow out to help cover him up as well. No matter what though, he was such an attractive man. The short smattering of a beard growing made his look even more irresistible, in my opinion. I did feel sorry for him, though, that he had to keep the disguise on throughout the meal. He was very recognizable, and this was his time out of the spotlight. I told him it gave him an air of mystery and admitted that it made him look even hotter in my estimation. That’s all he needed to hear. When we returned to the car, he was all over me. I wasn’t complaining.
After doing it in the backseat, we started out again toward Big Sur, taking in the vistas along the way up Highway Number One. We only stopped one more time. We made it to our resort in good time to be able to still take in the sunset.
His accountant had secured a credit card under an alias, so Paul was able to stay under the radar when we checked in. Later he explained that it was very common for actors to have cards in other names. The charges went to him anyways, so it made total sense. It seemed there were big prices to pay for anonymity.
He had booked the most intimate suite overlooking the Pacific. The views took our breath away. Ocean and mist went on for miles, more than the eye could vision. It felt like a piece of heaven set out before us. We stood on the deck arm in arm, breathing the clean air deeply, feeling restored. The deck also had a heated whirlpool tub for when we were ready to get naked in the great outdoors. We looked at it together and laughed, because we both knew what would be happening in there.
