Stalk me. (The Keatyn Chronicles)

by Jillian Dodd

  “As in, you don’t know what we are. You haven’t known all summer, have you?”

  “I’m sorry. I really do care about you, and I do love you. I guess I’m just not ready for a relationship.”

  He gives me a kiss. It’s a goodbye kiss, not a we’ll-be-together-again-someday kiss. Even though I broke up with him, the kiss makes me sad, so I change the subject. “So, there’s a table full of actors sitting around out there trying to write a script for my fake life.”

  He laughs. “They come up with anything good?”

  “Let’s get high, then I’ll tell you all about my fake lives.”

  “Let’s not.” He moves our plates onto my desk, pulls me into his arms, and falls onto the bed with me. “Just tell me.”

  “They wanted to make me poor, an orphan, or a scholarship student. Seriously? At a private school like that? They might as well have made me a leper. Then—let’s see—I just got out of rehab; I got kicked out of another boarding school; oh, I got pregnant, had a baby, and gave it up for adoption. Then Mr. Moran suggested my dad just died, and I got pissed off and walked out. I sounded like a little bitchy starlet throwing my script down and marching off the set going, I demand a rewrite. If it weren’t so horrifying, it would be almost comical.”

  “So you still need a story?”

  “Actually, no. James helped me figure it out. He said I should keep it as close to the truth as possible.”

  “So, who are you, Keats Monroe?”

  I hug him tightly. “I’m going to miss you terribly.”

  “I’m going to miss you too, but I was thinking about what you said about wishing you could make real friends. In a weird way, you wished for this. Going away to a place where no one knows who you are. The experience might be good for you.”

  “My grandma always says, Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it. I never understood her point until now.”

  “So I get to surf, see if I’m as good as I think I am. And you get to make friends, where no one knows who you are. You get to figure out who you really are. So what’s your backstory?”

  “I’ve traveled the world, been tutored. I love to surf, play soccer, and dance. And we lived in L.A. for the last couple of years.”

  “Oh, that’s good. It’s all true. So why boarding school? Especially your junior year?”

  “Mom and Stepdad decided to live in France. I didn’t want to go, but they wouldn’t let me stay in L.A. alone, so they shipped me off to boarding school, and I’m not happy about it.” I give him my pout face. Then I say, “Or I am happy about it,” and give him my biggest smile.

  “You know you’re a natural when it comes to acting. I think that’s why sometimes you aren’t sure who you are. It’s so easy for you to play different roles.” He runs his hand slowly down my arm and looks longingly into my eyes. “Can we pretend that tonight you’re still you, and I’m waiting for you on the beach?”

  Thursday, August 25th

  Everyone will love you.

  5am

  Brooklyn left at three this morning.

  Last night.

  I don’t even know what last night was.

  I guess it was just mostly saying goodbye.

  He wanted to pretend I was still me, the old me. But I’m not the same me anymore.

  And I’m not in love with him anymore.

  I knew in Europe that it wasn’t going to work out, but I didn’t want to admit it.

  I kept lying to myself, because once again, I had some stupid script of my perfect dream life imagined in my head. The kind of life where Brooklyn and I would live happily on a beach somewhere. Probably the kind of script no boy could ever live up to. The kind of script I could never live up to.

  Brooklyn was right about one thing.

  Life is messy.

  And I know that I shouldn’t have kissed him. I know that I shouldn’t have slept with him.

  But I did.

  Is it so bad that I wanted to have one night where I could pretend it was still summer, and my life hadn’t been turned completely upside down?

  Afterwards he tried to be sweet. “I love you, Keats. Even if it’s just as friends.”

  “So where does the sex fit in?” I asked.

  “With the love,” he said.

  “You make it sound so simple. It’s just not that simple.” Because we all know now. It is not that simple.

  “Yeah, it is. You complicate it by trying to make it fit into a box, so you can update your Facebook status. A relationship should be defined by your feelings not by a status.”

  I wanted to fight with him about it, but it wouldn’t change anything. We’re just over. So even though there is a part of me that will always have feelings for him, it’s a much smaller part than it used to be.

  After he left, I fell back asleep and had another bad dream. A dream where I was running and running and no matter how fast I went, Vincent was standing beside me.

  I woke up afraid.

  Ready to run.

  Ready to get on that plane and not look back.

  I drop my bag in the entryway to be loaded in the car. Mom and Tommy’s bags are packed and waiting. Tommy already had a trip planned for today. He’s going to New York to be on a late night talk show, so they’re just leaving a little ahead of schedule. The security firm booked two planes and filed the flight plans, which are easily accessible by the public, for both. One is going from here to Utah, and another is going from here to New York. I’m supposed to boldly walk out of the house. If Vincent is watching somewhere, they want him to know I’m leaving.

  I want him to know I’m leaving. I want to know my sisters are safe.

  Garrett determined that since there were already rumors about my supposed drug addiction that Utah would be a perfect place for one plane to go since there is a famous rehab center there. They have someone who fits my physical description going on that plane. She will wear big sunglasses and get dropped off at the rehab facility. From there, she will sneak out the back or something, drive to Salt Lake City, and take a commercial flight home.

  I take a good look at the house. The house that has been my home for the last few years. The spot by the window where we always put the Christmas tree. The kitchen barstools where we have some of our best discussions. The fireplace that Gracie likes to ride her trike into. I glance outside and look at the waves I love to watch. The waves that seem to be as moody as I am. Sometimes gentle and relaxed, other times, dark and stormy.

  I swore I wasn’t going to cry this morning, but I can’t help it.

  Gracie pulls on my sweatpants. The girls are all still in their little pajamas and rubbing their eyes. “Why Kiki sad?” she asks in the most adorable voice.

  I sit down next to her. “I’m going to miss you.”

  She throws her little arms around my neck and gives me a strangling hug, which makes me cry more.

  “Don’t be scare-wed,”

  Ivery joins the hug. “Why you scared, Kiki? You’re going on an adventure!”

  Mom and Tommy say that every trip they go on is an adventure, so the girls will be excited about them.

  “Because I'm going by myself.”

  “Wait!!” Ivery says. “I know what will help!”

  She tears off towards her room and comes running back waving a glittery green Tinker Bell wand. It's her favorite thing in the world. She keeps it hidden in her drawer, so the other girls can't play with it.

  She thrusts it into my hand. “Take Tink. If you get scared, just wish upon a star and it will be okay.”

  “I can't take this, sweetie. It's your favorite.” Plus I already wished on a birthday candle, and look where that got me.

  “Tink wants to go with you, since you won’t have Mommy and Daddy.”

  I want to start bawling, but I’m trying so hard not to. I need to be the brave girl my sisters think I am.

  Avery and Emery join the hug and not wanting to be outdone, Avery declares, “We have presents too.”

&nbs
p; She gallops back with her red glitter purse in hand. She unzips it and fishes around for the purple glitter magic marker that she always keeps tucked inside whichever purse she's carrying. “Here! You can write with it!”

  Emery gives me a rock that she's colored on. She whispers in my ear. “You can smash people’s fingers with it when they’re mean.”

  I laugh out loud at that.

  Gracie sneaks into the kitchen, goes to whatever secret hiding place she knows, and brings me two Hershey kisses. She drops them in my hand. “One for Kiki. One for Kiki new fwend.”

  If only it were still that easy. Sit next to someone, give them a kiss, and be best friends forever.

  Gracie squints her little eyes at me. I can tell she just thought of something else.

  She runs to the pantry, runs back to me, and drops another kiss in my hand. Then she says, “Gweysie your fwend too.” She quickly takes the kiss and eats it.

  “We need to get going, honey,” Mom says gently.

  I give each of the girls one more big hug. They haven't even realized anything is different. Traveling has always been a part of their lives.

  James gives me a bear hug. “Take care of yourself and remember what we talked about. Don’t ignore your fear. Always listen to it. Use your head and don’t take any chances.” Then he gets choked up and shakes his head. “I should be going with you.”

  “We already talked about that. If you went, people would wonder why. I’ll be fine, I promise.” I whisper in his ear. “Keep the girls safe.” He nods and gives me another hug.

  We try not to make too big of a scene for the girls’ sakes.

  Mom said she couldn’t watch me say good-bye to everyone. She’s already in the car.

  It’s a long flight, but we watch a recent comedy that helps take all our minds off the inevitable. Marcus, Tommy’s assistant, Garrett, and a four-man security crew are traveling with us. Tommy has a private plane. Flying with four kids under the age of five is tough enough without having to fly commercial. Add the fact that they are photographed practically every time they try to take a pee and, well, you can see why a private jet is a must. Normally I complain that the jet is a flying toy box.

  Today, I miss the toys.

  When the movie is over, Mom asks, “So, you and Brook okay?”

  “Yes. No. Sorta. I don’t know, Mom. I didn’t tell you, but I broke up with him at the party, and I was going to start dating Cush again.”

  “I see you brought the boots he gave you.”

  “I feel really bad I didn’t get to explain things to him, but I brought the boots because they remind me of who I want to be. I’m embarrassed to say that when I started high school I had very superficial goals. I don’t know how long I’ll be there, but I’m doing things differently this time.”

  “How so?”

  I chuckle. “My old goals were to dress for success and always look perfect. I wanted to be popular and date the cutest and most popular boy.”

  Mom smiles. “Honey, those are most girls’ goals. Everyone wants to be liked. To be popular. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

  “Being liked is fine. I want people to like me, but I don’t want to be popular. I’m going to make true friends. I’m not going to be a bitch or be fake, and I’m definitely not falling in love.” And, I don’t tell her this, because she’s a hopeless romantic, but I’m also going to take Vanessa’s advice: I’m going to stop following my heart and start listening to my head.

  “You can’t control when you’ll fall in love.”

  I ignore her comment because hell yes I can. And I will.

  “And I’m going to stay alive,” I add.

  Mom’s face turns white. “I can’t believe I’m allowing this. I don’t know if I can. I think you should just come to Vancouver with us.”

  I shake my head. “No, this is for the best. I’ll be fine, Mom. Like Avery said, I’m going on a new adventure. And it’s not like we can’t still talk and text. That’s why getting into your phone is like getting into Fort Knox.”

  She laughs. “I’m still having a hard time putting in those passwords.” She tilts her head at me. “So, we were talking about you and Brook. You changed the subject.”

  “There’s really nothing else to say.”

  “Are you okay? I mean, you’ve been through a lot the past six days. Almost being kidnapped. Breaking up with your boyfriend. Going to a new school. It would be hard for anyone to handle. You seem a little too composed.”

  “Almost being kidnapped was horrible. Being kidnapped would have been worse, so I’m thankful. Brooklyn wasn’t my boyfriend, so we didn’t break up. He’s going surfing. I’m going to school. If we’re supposed to be together in the future, he says fate will intervene.” I roll my eyes. Sometimes his karma and fate talk sounds a lot like bullshit. “So do you have any advice for me? You made it through high school, were prom queen and all that. What do I need to know?”

  Mom runs her hand across the top of her perfectly coiffed hair. “Just be yourself, Keatyn. And be confident. You’re worldly, mature, well-traveled, well-spoken, and confident. You’ve always acted older than you are. Kids are drawn to that. And if I were you, I would make friends with a few boys first. It takes some time to figure out how girls are going to behave. And I know you have to tell a different background story, but you’re still you. The you you’ve always been, with your father’s gorgeous eyes, my killer smile, and your own individual grace. You are unstoppable. Don’t worry, everyone will love you.”

  “Mom, seriously?”

  “What?”

  “You just told me what Elle Woods told her dog when they got to Harvard in Legally Blonde.”

  Mom’s mouth starts out in a little smirk and then beams into her famous megawatt smile. She laughs. “You’re right. I did. Well, everyone will love you. And I love you very much.”

  I hope Mom’s right about that. For the first time in my life, I have to totally rely on me. And what if me is really a loser? What if no one likes the real me?

  When we land, Mom hands me a manila envelope. It looks just like the one that the photographs were in. Only it has my name on it.

  My heart starts racing. What didn’t they tell me? What else is there?

  “Keatyn, your face just went completely white. What’s wrong?”

  I shakily point to the envelope in her hand. “Did the stalker send something else?”

  Mom’s eyes get teary. “Oh, no, honey. This is . . . this is something we should have talked about yesterday, but I couldn’t bear to.”

  “What is it?”

  “You’re not my daughter anymore,” she says, then she breaks down crying.

  Tommy pulls her into his arms and says to me, “One of the ways you could be tracked is through a money trail. If our financial people paid your bills like they do now, too many people would know where you are. We had you emancipated. Legally, you’re an adult now. You can sign yourself in and out of school. Legally, you can do whatever you want.”

  I grab Mom’s hand. “Garrett told me all this yesterday. It was necessary. I’m still your daughter, Mom. It’s just that I’m legal a year sooner than planned.”

  Mom looks like she’s going to puke, but she squeezes my hand and smiles. “Your grandpa wants you to call him before you open this.”

  “Like now?” I ask.

  Mom and Tommy nod.

  I pull up my scrawny contact list and hit Grandpa. He answers with, “Remember our talk this summer?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I know the situation is different, but it still applies. You understand?”

  “I’m fixing to become my own man?”

  Grandpa laughs. “Exactly. I’m not gonna beat around the bush. You’re going to be on your own for a while, and you’re gonna need cash. You know I set you up with a trust fund, right?”

  “You told me you did, but I don’t know anything about it.”

  “When your dad died, I set one up to take care of you. Pay for coll
ege, things like that. When I sold my company, all your dad’s share of stock went into your fund. You weren’t supposed to get this until you were older, but with the present circumstances, I’m giving it to you now. I should tell you to spend it wisely, but after all this, I’m gonna say life is short. Have fun while you can. The paperwork for your new accounts is in the envelope, along with new credit and debit cards. You’re a very rich young lady.”

  “Rich enough to skip school, buy my own jet, and travel the world?”

  “How bout you go to school, be safe, and let us deal with this mess.”

  “Okay.”

  “Take care, hotshot. Grandma and I love you.”

  “Thanks for setting everything up in such a short time, Grandpa, and I love you both too.”

  I open the envelope and look inside.

  There’s another copy of the legal document stating I am emancipated.

  And there’s a black American Express card. Tommy doesn’t even have one of those, and he’s rich. I pull out the financial statement and I have to blink a few times.

  Did I read that right?

  I turn to Mom and hand her the statement. “Did you know about this?”

  She and Tommy look at it. Their shocked looks answer my question. “Wow, baby,” Tommy says. “You wanna finance my next movie?”

  Mom shakes her head. “I had no idea, Keatyn. I knew your grandfather was wealthy, but I had no idea.”

  All of a sudden it dawns on me. Why he gave me the money now. Why my very conservative grandfather would tell me life is too short. Why he would suggest I spend irresponsibly. “You don’t think I’m going to make it until I’m eighteen, do you?” I cry out.

  Mom looks horrified and wraps her arms around me. “We don’t think that, honey. I promise. Grandpa is just trying to keep you safe. If you have your own money, he can’t find you through us.”

  I’m not sure if I believe her.

  Garrett says, “Tommy, we need to get you and Abby off the plane as scheduled. We need to make this look as normal as possible, so say your final goodbyes.”

  Mom stands up, then sits back down. Then her eyes fill with tears again. I stand up and pull her into a hug.