by BL Mute
I go to step in, but he grabs my hips, stopping me. He drops to his knees in front of me and hugs my center. He lets his head rest on my stomach for a moment before lifting it again and placing a soft kiss right in the middle.
When he stands again, he frames my face with his hands and gets close, letting his breath fan across my lips. “I can’t lose either of you, Charlie.” My lip starts to quiver, so he runs his thumb along their seam. “We need to get out of here.”
I nod, finally agreeing. This town is no place for a baby, especially with the name and reputation we have. Maybe if Teddy were here things would be different, but he isn’t. Lucas is right—you can’t be a queen in a crumbled kingdom. You can’t be a queen without a king either.
“Let’s run away.”
His eyes flash with excitement, but he doesn’t voice it. He pushes me into the shower gently, then drops his towel and steps in behind me. Slowly he scrubs the blood from my face and in between my legs, then washes my hair. When the water runs clear, he gets out and grabs more towels from the pile on the counter. He wraps one around me, then one around himself.
When we make it back into the bedroom, he rips the sheets from the bed and grabs another set from the closet. He doesn’t bother with a top sheet once the fitted sheet is in place. “Lie down, baby.” He holds the corner of the blanket up as I crawl in. “I’m going to get you some water. Don’t move.”
I give him a soft nod.
“I’m serious. Doctor says bed rest, so let’s get that out of the way before we do anything else. I’ll update everyone and make sure you’re taken care of.”
As he turns to walk away, I call out the three words I’ve refused to say since Teddy. “Lucas!” He turns back to face me. “I love you.” The words come out weak, the complete opposite of how they make me feel.
He smiles. Genuinely smiles. “I love you too, baby.”
After I let everyone know Charlie is okay, I slip away to the gym. She needs rest, so I don’t want to bug her, but I’m still too worked up to be still.
I walk in and flip the light switch on the wall. The fluorescent lights hum to life, illuminating the shiny floor and all of the equipment. Walking straight to the punching bag, I waste no time. I dive my fists into it over and over. It’s better I get all of this out now or else it will just consume me again and we will have a repeat of tonight.
The face of Emil’s right hand flashes in and out of my mind. Over and over it’s him, then nothing. Then Teddy’s face starts to come to life. I’d like to think I’m over all of the shit he did considering he’s dead, but I’m not. He was someone I looked up to. Kind of like the father I never had, so to see him spiral out of control and turn into the very thing I hate the most fucking hurt.
Normally, I’m good at hiding my feelings, not letting them get the best of me, but I’ve been so on edge. I finally have a chance to have Charlie, and I’m so scared to fuck it up. She’s broken and hurt, all because of Teddy.
He always said love was a dangerous thing. That people would use what you love against you, and he was right. That’s the only reason why the shit tonight happened the way it did. Sure, I’ve always cared for Charlie in a way, but things are different now. I’m not sure when they changed or when things progressed, but they did. When I saw that guy hit her—in her stomach of all places—it made something in my head snap. I know Hale isn’t mine, and maybe sometimes I am jealous because of it, but that doesn’t change the fact I feel this animalistic need to protect her and the baby.
I try and pound away all of my thoughts, but I’m interrupted. I feel his eyes on me before I can hear his footsteps. He’s always been so quiet, but his gaze alone can penetrate Kevlar with force.
“What do you want, Jules?”
He chuckles softly behind me. “I love how you know I’m here before I even make my presence known.”
I grab the bag to stop its swaying, then turn around. “Your gawk is hot, dude. I can feel you looking at me.”
He just gives a weak shrug. “I was thinking…” He trails off.
“Well.” I plop onto the ground. “That’s a dangerous thing. Don’t hurt yourself.”
He plops with the same authority I do, then immediately winces, grabbing his ribs. “Fuck. I keep forgetting about this shit.”
I laugh off his comment, then look into his eyes. He’s such a hard person to read, but I can tell there is something he wants to say, but he’s holding back. “What is it, Jules? Say what you want.”
“I think it’s time to get Charlie out of here.”
“We are already planning that, but everything is handled now. We don’t have anything to worry about.”
He shakes his head, then stretches his legs and leans back on his elbows. “Not right this second, but I’m sure I pissed a lot of people off when I took Cat. If they come looking, I won’t hold back.”
“You don’t even know this girl. What if she isn’t who you think?”
“Teddy wasn’t who we thought, but look at how much we did for him.” He huffs. “It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
“Why?” I cross my arms.
“I told you, something strong.” He smiles.
“Something strong.” I shake my head with a grin.
He doesn’t have to explain anymore because for once I get it. He and I may not be on the same page most of the time—he likes shit his way, and I like it mine—but for this, I get it.
“Just watch yourself, okay?” I stand and extend my hand to him.
“I will.” He takes my hand and hoists himself up before pulling me into a hug.
Neither one of us have ever been very big on showing emotion. Our dad made us feel emotions were a weakness and made sure to beat it out of us. That’s why Julius is—or was—quiet and I drink. When shit just gets too much, he goes further into his shell and I go on a bender. Probably not the best coping mechanism, but it’s worked for us.
I clap his back softly, not wanting to hurt him. “You know I love you?”
He pushes me away with a laugh. “Let’s not, okay? I don’t need to hear you say it to know it.”
I give him a grin followed by a scoff. “Whatever.”
His smile drops and his face grows serious again. “I’m serious, Luke. Get out of here and try to live a decent life with your girl.”
“You know I can’t leave you alone.”
His smile returns for a split second. “I won’t be alone. Ilya is only a phone call away.”
I shake my head with a smile of my own. Ilya Kuznetsov isn’t some random person. He is the Russian mobster. Teddy met him when we used to get our supply from Europe. They crossed paths and somewhat hit it off and had always kept an understanding, but it was more Julius who got close to him.
Ilya was intrigued by his silence, and Julius was amazed with his tactics. Neither of them scared of the other which was scary. But if he’s willing to help Julius in his hunt for vengeance, I won’t get in the way. The two of them together would be nothing but deadly.
“Just—”
“Be careful,” he cuts me off before I can finish. “I’ll be fine.”
I leave him behind as I walk back to Teddy’s room. When I make it to the door, I pause for a second and think about everything that’s brought us to where we are now. At first, Charlie was nothing more than an obsession, something I knew would end badly for Teddy, but now she’s everything to me. In a way, I think some of my love for her can be attributed to Teddy. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have her in my life. If he didn’t fuck up and make a mess, I would have never got a chance to fix it.
She used to be nothing more than someone I despised. Starting from the time I would spend hours in a car with Teddy just watching her. But at soon as he ordered us to bring her home, it was game over. I wanted to hate her. I told myself that was the only way to make sure shit never got complicated, but over all of the months together—seeing how fiercely she loved and how strong her loyalty was—I turned into a fucking go
ner.
I let out a deep breath and turn the knob. When I step in, Charlie is curled into a ball on her side, sleeping peacefully. I had plans to tell her what Julius said, to really drive home the point we should get out of here, but I can’t bring myself to wake her. Instead, I walk to the bed and crawl in behind her.
When I slip my arm around her, she stirs and turns over. “I was wondering when you were coming back.”
I study her face for a moment, and my earlier plan goes out the window. She’s pale and her eyes are tired. Maybe it’s just the rough pregnancy, but I can’t help but to think it’s all the bullshit she’s had to deal with. She’s still beautiful of course, but she doesn’t have that same light in her eyes she used to. Her lips don’t stay in a soft smile almost permanently like before. Northridge Heights is wilting my flower, and all I want to do is stop it.
“I know today has been rough, and I’m sorry for that, but we need to talk.” I reach out and run the pad of my thumb over her cheekbone.
Her eyes go a bit wider. “What’s going on? Don’t tell me Emil had someone else on his side. Or Cameron.”
“No, no, no.” I glide my thumb over her face as I cup it. “Everything is fine as far as I know, but I’m not sure it’ll stay that way for long.”
“What are you saying?”
“We need to get out of here. What Julius did was reckless, and he’s prepared to handle the consequences, but he doesn’t want us here when it happens.”
She sits up in the bed, backing up until her back is resting on the headboard. “We can’t just leave him, Lucas.”
I nod. “I know. But he won’t be alone.”
“What do you mean he won’t be alone? Because of Cat? She is like a scared little mouse, and all of those people who will be coming for her are falcons.”
I laugh at her metaphor. “Not just Cat. He has Ilya on his side.”
“Who is that?”
“Someone I hope to never meet on a bad day. Imagine me, Julius, Teddy, and Carl combined, then multiply it by five. He’s not someone to be fucked with. Julius will be fine.”
She chews her bottom lip and stares into the distance, almost like she’s contemplating on really staying or going.
“Hey.” I pull her face back to mine. “Out of everyone, you should know I wouldn’t be the one to leave him if I was worried. He will be okay, and we can always come back after Hale is born and make sure shit is good. I just don’t want any more stress on you than there already is.”
Her eyes bounce between mine. “You have to promise me if he needs you, you’ll leave me. I refuse to lose anyone else.”
I give her another nod because I don’t want to lose anyone either. When it comes to Julius, he’s been my constant. Yes, he’s my twin, but it’s more than that. He’s the first person I loved and the first person to show me love. He’s always had my back and taken care of me when I can’t take care of myself. That’s not something you can forget overnight.
“I promise.”
A soft smile pulls at her lips. “I know I should be happy. You know, to finally get away. This is all my dad ever wanted from me, and it’s all I ever wanted, but now that it’s here it hurts. This is all I know.”
I kiss her temple and pull her into my chest. “I know, but you’ll have me.” I move my hand to her tiny stomach. “And Hale.”
I can feel her body relax as she sags into me, and I swear it’s probably the best feeling in the world.
“So, I guess this is it?” I drag my eyes to Julius as he stands in front of me.
He shakes his head with a smile. “This isn’t it, Charlie. You guys will still be around.”
I push myself further up on the bed, then twirl my thumbs in my lap. I’ve been on bed rest for days, but Dr. Davis finally came by and gave us the okay to travel. I wasn’t expecting things to happen so fast, but nothing since I’ve been with the Hales has been slow. We’re always going, always fighting, always doing something.
“What’s going to happen to the club?” I ask. The Red Eye is the only thing left that any of us have. It’s the only thing left from Teddy.
“I’m going to handle it. The house too.”
I nod and look around the room. So much shit has happened in here, and I’m glad I’ll still be able to visit, to be close to the good memories and even the bad. They’re what helped me become who I am and will be a good reminder not to take anyone’s shit.
“I don’t want to leave you,” I admit, doing my best to hold back my tears.
These men have become my family, and I love them. The thought of leaving Julius and Carl behind makes me feel… sad. I know it’s for the best, but it doesn’t make it easier. With my dad gone, they’re all I have.
Julius sits on the edge of the bed and pulls me into a hug. “I’ll come see you, and you’ll come see me. Soon enough you’ll have Hale, and I won’t be so nice, remember? It’s probably best you leave now.” He smiles.
I jab my finger into his ribs and laugh as he buckles over. “You know you just want me gone so I don’t beat your ass.”
“Whatever you have to tell yourself.” He grins, straightening himself so he can squeeze me.
He stands, then leaves the room as Carl enters. I thought the sight of telling Julius goodbye was hard, but seeing Carl’s eyes shine with sadness and a touch of relief fucking kills me.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I state with a frown.
He shakes his head and looks the other way before turning back and closing the gap between us. “Take care of my boy, you hear me?”
I smile. “You know I will.”
He nods and leans down to kiss the top of my head. “I’m proud of you, Charlotte. And even though you may be away, I’ll always see you as our queen. You brought things into this family I didn’t think we needed. You’ve changed all of us in ways I never imagined, and I’m grateful.”
“You all changed me too.” I grip his waist and hug his center as he hovers above me. “I need you to take care of Julius, okay?”
His hands go to my back, rubbing soothing strokes up and down. “I will. And I better be the first phone call you make at the first sign of Hale making their appearance.”
I chuckle and squeeze him harder. “I love you, Carl.”
“And I love you, Charlotte. Keep your head on and remember who you are.”
Before I can reply, the door opens and Lucas walks in. He’s freshly showered and dressed head to toe in black. His gold jewelry shines bright against his shirt, and a smile pulls at his lips.
“You ready, baby?”
Carl backs away and grabs my bags sitting by the closet door as I swing my legs over the edge of the bed. “As ready as I can be.”
He nods, then opens his arms. I walk toward him and press myself into his side. As we walk out, I take my time looking at everything as we pass. I was so amazed by all of the beauty here the first time I came. I never imagined how much I would fall in love with this place and the people in it, but I did. And now that I’m leaving, I feel a sense of nostalgia.
I was brought here against my will and hated it, but that slowly changed, and after Teddy’s death, I fought like hell to come back. It’s been less than a day and I’m just packing up and leaving. I almost want to laugh at how bizarre it all seems, but I did what I had to do. I said goodbye and let go. Now it’s time to start a new chapter.
No matter what, this will always be home though.
Five months later…
The water crashes against the shore, creating a rhythmic tune. With the sun beating down on me and the smell of salt in the air, I can’t help but smile. This is the most peaceful my life has seemed in the past year. I guess I’m finally coming to terms with things. When I think about all that has happened, I don’t cry anymore. Sure, my heart still aches knowing that in a matter of weeks I’ll be birthing a child whose father is dead, and I don’t have my dad to help me either, but it gets better every day.
And Lucas finally took me to the beach.
I was worried about leaving Julius and Carl—all of Northridge Heights really—but we compromised and came to a small California town. I got the beach I’ve always wanted to see, and Lucas is still close to his brother. I don’t think either of us really wanted to leave, but we knew it’d be best. Trying to raise a baby in the environment we were in just wasn’t practical. I wanted the baby to have a normal life. A life that didn’t consist of gun training and self-defense before she could even walk.
I want her to grow up happy and carefree, the same way my dad made it seem for me. I don’t want her to have to worry about me or someone else she loves being murdered, then left to figure out why.
I lean my head back and rest it on the swing as we sway. We have a little house off the beach. It has two bedrooms, an open living room encased in glass for the perfect view, and a porch that wraps around the front with a porch swing. My favorite part.
“What’s the matter, baby?” Lucas asks, dragging me from my thoughts.
“Nothing. I was just thinking.” I give him a weak smile.
“About him?” His eyes are soft.
I feel he’s come to terms with things too in a sense. He agrees that the baby should know about her dad and how powerful he was, and he knows I still love Teddy. I’m sure it hurts him in a way, but it’s not something I can change. Teddy was my first for a lot of things. He gave me confidence, made me believe in myself, and showed me what love was and wasn’t. Because of that, he will always hold a special place in my heart.
I nod honestly, then try and change the subject. I don’t feel the need to voice my thoughts all the time. It’s just nice to have someone who understand when I do. “I finally picked a name.”
His eyebrows raise as he strokes my swollen belly. “Oh yeah? You finally caved with knowing what she was, and now you’re caving on the name. I thought you weren’t going to decide until delivery.”
I roll my eyes. “The name is too perfect. It’s already stuck in my head.”
