by Sheila Kell
“I—” She broke off.
“It’s okay.” He swung his legs over the side of the bed and reached for the thin sock to put on. Putting on his prosthetic leg had become such a habit he didn’t even think about it until he realized she stood watching him. A shadow of nervousness at her reaction bothered him. She had to be okay with this, because he couldn’t change it. He’d come too far to allow himself to regress to that man who felt less than whole and unwanted by the woman he loved.
“Are you—” He cleared his throat. “—okay with this?”
He hadn’t been expecting her to smile, and the gesture warmed him inside and out. “Yes. I was just fascinated. You took it off so fast last night that I didn’t get to see what you did. Does it hurt?”
It hurt like fucking hell when the lower part of his leg had been blown off. Now? Somewhat. Phantom pains every now and then, and the changes in his muscles needed to properly use the prosthetic leg left it aching sometimes in screaming pain when he overdid it. But nothing he couldn’t handle since it was that or his life. Besides, even if it did, he wouldn’t tell her, because she’d worry or fret over him. “Just the little aches like I told you about last night.” He went back to putting on the thin sock, custom socket liner, prosthetic leg, then suspension sleeve on top. He didn’t move as quickly as he normally would since she was watching. Finishing, he looked up at her.
Awe washed on her face. “You make that look so simple and easy.”
He stood. “Well, I’ve been doing it for a while now. How about we dress before I take you back to bed?” His dick was screaming for him to do that and the longer he stared at her naked body, the better chance that head would take over his controls.
Matt’s clothes were in one of the guest rooms, so he held the clothes he’d worn to his crotch and slipped from her room. She’d protested, and her face flamed when he said no one would see him. Obviously she didn’t believe that. Who cared if they knew the two of them were sleeping together? His brothers probably already figured that. They knew how the two of them had been and how much he’d always been in love with her.
Once dressed, he made his way to the kitchen where Brad sat at the table with a raised brow. “Running late, brother?” he mocked.
Instead of the “fuck you” he wanted to hurl, he asked, “All quiet?”
Brad choked back a laugh. “Good. Now that you’re up, I’m off to bed.”
“Aren’t you going to eat first?” Caitlyn asked with a carton of eggs in her hands.
“No. The boys and I already ate. You two are up a little later than normal.”
After looking over and seeing Caitlyn’s flaming face, Matt thought a right hook to Brad’s smirking mug would feel awfully good.
“Goodnight,” Matt said forcefully. “Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.” Granted, Brad wasn’t going out of the house, but it felt good to say since Matt couldn’t get physical with his brother.
After his twin had left, Matt went to Caitlyn and put his arms around her from behind. “Don’t let him get to you.”
“Do you think he knows?” she asked quietly.
Reaching out, he removed the eggs from her hand and placed them on the counter. Then he spun her around and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Caitlyn, you and I used to be together, so it goes to his thinking that we’d be together again. I imagine he’s thought it for a while.”
She covered her mouth with her hand. “Oh God.”
In concentration, he drew in his brow. “What’s the matter? Is there a problem with Brad thinking we’re together?” He didn’t add the men probably thought it also. That might be too much for her to process after Brad’s snarkiness about them being absent.
She released a sigh and dropped her hand. “It’s just… I mean… it’s just temporary. I don’t know that I like Brad or anyone else thinking I just sleep around like that. Temporarily, I mean.”
Fighting the urge to shake her, he tried to keep his voice calm. “Look at me, Caitlyn.” When she did, he continued, “What do you mean temporary?” He knew, but he didn’t like that he’d thought that also.
“Well,” she visibly swallowed, “my life is here, and yours is in Baltimore. We each have a business to run in those cities. And it’s not economical to travel back and forth between the two.”
He scoffed at the idea of “economical” as if that would ever be a good enough reason for them to not give their relationship a second chance. Dammit. There had to be a way for them to be together. He couldn’t ask her to give up Helping Paws. She’d been working on this since her life turned upside down. It was what grounded her back to the person she’d been to become the person she was today. A survivor. With her heart and soul, she’d built Helping Paws from the ground up, and working with the dogs helped her relax. She wouldn’t want to do anything else.
And he couldn’t give up HIS. He’d also built it from the ground up. He and his brothers, as each had joined, had worked hard to make it the thriving business it was today. He enjoyed what he did. Dammit, he thought again.
“How about we eat breakfast,” he said since he didn’t have an answer to their problem.
She nodded. “Breakfast.”
Neither moved. He pulled her close to him and into a bear hug. Her arms wrapped around him and she buried her head against his chest. At that moment, he promised himself he’d finally find his way back to her. With everything he had, he’d find a way for them to remain together again.
SITTING at her desk, Caitlyn realized she’d done so much hiding in her office lately that it’d made her notice the room needed painting. Maybe a soft green would work. Or she could go crazy and do an orange accent wall. Wasn’t orange an inspiration color? With Matt’s arrival, her life had turned into a chaotic mess. She liked organization and control, yet she was slowly losing both. It’d always been that way around him. Desire had driven them both in the past.
She wouldn’t complain too much about him arriving. Thank God he’d come to help her with Luke, who unfortunately no one could find, but the emotional side of Matt being there was almost too much to handle.
He’d helped her open back up, and that sucked because when he left—and he would—she’d close right back up again. But this time it wouldn’t be from fear. It’d be from heartache. Heck, she’d told him she still loved him, and she’d actually made love to him. She sighed in remembrance of the pleasure he’d given her, and her body tingled.
Placing her elbows on the desk and dropping her head in her hands, she groaned at how she’d almost had unprotected sex with him. Thank goodness he’d been prepared.
Yes, he’d released her from freaking out at the touch of another man. His touch had always been magic. She’d be forever grateful for him helping her. But just like when she’d tried to date after moving here, even though Travis’s face came to mind and frightened her away from any chance of a relationship, the thought of Matt had always made her feel like she was cheating. She knew that it was a stupid feeling, but it’d been there nonetheless. Her love for him had never stopped. She’d been an idiot to turn him away when she’d needed him the most.
They’d lost eight years. She was damn lucky he forgave her and came looking for her. Otherwise, she’d never have seen him again and she didn’t know if her heart could’ve taken that. But it was about to go through a heartbreak again.
What did she do now? Her love for him obviously would never stop. She guessed she could resign and follow him. Another groan and a mental head shake followed that thought. No, she couldn’t leave Helping Paws. This was her baby. She wouldn’t release it to anyone else. These dogs and the men and women they helped were her life now. Besides, the board of directors probably wouldn’t accept a resignation from her unless it was a drastic reason. Heartache might not qualify.
She couldn’t move Helping Paws to Maryland, and he couldn’t move HIS to Kentucky. And him traveling back and forth each week would slowly suck them financially dry, so they were at an imp
asse. No, there was only one answer. She groaned again. Being an adult sometimes sucked.
The phone rang, pulling her from her little pity party. Checking the readout, she smiled and answered. “Hi, Daddy.”
“Hi, Catie. How are things going there?”
Besides almost dying? she wanted to scream, but didn’t want her dad to worry more than he already did. Plus, there was the whole sleeping with Matt again thing she definitely didn’t want to be brought up in conversation.
“It’s fine. How about you? Is Aunt Liz taking good care of you?”
She should be keeping her dad in the loop. But he’d want her to give up and come home. She was safer here with the extra men.
“She treats me like an invalid,” he groused, and Caitlyn broke into a smile. She figured that would happen. Her aunt had walked all over her dad as long as she could remember. Probably their entire life. A pang of sadness at being an only child hit her. She immediately swatted it away. Being an only child gave her all her dad’s attention. She wouldn’t trade that for the world.
“What about the men? Are they behaving?” Not that she really could do anything if they weren’t, except tattle to Matt like a four-year-old little girl. But she needed those men to protect her dad even though the thought was—and the gas leak pretty much confirmed—Luke was in Kentucky, not Mississippi.
“Don’t even know they’re here. Liz is spoiling them though with her home cooking. They’d planned to go to a hotel since the only space available was the floor, but she convinced them to stay.” She could imagine him shaking his head at that. “She could convince a card shark that gambling was evil and he needed to quit and become a deacon or something. She really missed her calling. She should’ve been a counselor.”
Laughing, she remembered all the times her aunt had convinced her dad to do something for both her and her aunt. Heck, she’d convince businesses to allow Caitlyn in, even though the age limit excluded her. Not bars, mostly gambling places. She probably would’ve convinced carnival ride lackeys to allow her on something she wasn’t tall enough for, but Aunt Liz drew the line at safety. “Or a lawyer,” she added jokingly. She had no doubt her aunt would have excelled at that profession.
“Do you forgive me for sending Matt? I know you hadn’t wanted to see him. But I thought….”
When her dad trailed off, she knew he needed her reassurance that all was well between the two of them. “It’s okay. I needed to see him. To tell him… how sorry I am about how I treated him.” She’d also needed to tell him she loved him still. Why had she done that? Just because he’d said it, didn’t mean she had to throw that out there also.
“Do you think there’s a chance you two might get back together?”
The hopefulness in his voice was almost her undoing. She’d just figured out they couldn’t work. She didn’t need it tossed back in her face, even unintentionally. “No, Daddy. It won’t work.”
“Oh.” Disappointment laced his words. He’d always loved Matt, almost like the son he’d never had. Teasing him by saying maybe when she knew better would’ve been cruel. “I had just hoped.”
“I know you love him”—and I do too—“but we live two different lives, too far apart. It can’t work.”
“Ah, hell. Liz just poked her head in the room and gave me the evil eye.”
Caitlyn remembered her aunt’s look all too well. It happened when Caitlyn had messed up something—on accident—or had gotten into something she wasn’t supposed to touch—like the pretty doll collection any young girl would want to play with, but they held a “look only” status. “Uh-oh. Were you supposed to be resting?” she teased, secretly grateful for the change in subject.
“Yeah, well. I rest enough.” His tone turned serious. “Are you really okay?”
She gulped at the lie she was about to tell. She had a man trying to kill her and a man destined to break her heart. “Yes, Daddy, I’m fine. We’ve even got a team looking for Luke. It’ll be over soon, and I couldn’t be safer.” Realizing she’d crossed her fingers like an adolescent, she untwined them. “Promise.”
Adam sighed loudly. “Okay. I love you, my Catie-bug.”
“I love you, too, Daddy.” She ended the call before he could ask for more information.
Setting the phone down on her desk, she saw the donation list she’d been perusing before. Her dad was safe and so was she with enough men to trip over at her disposal, willing to give their lives for her. Her stomach turned over at the thought. She couldn’t control the problem of Luke Ripley being after her, so she would work on something she could control.
She’d help make this fundraiser one of her best, even if it killed her. Immediately she realized how crass her thoughts were. She didn’t want to die, no matter the reason.
AFTER THE TRAINING had been completed for the day and the staff members had departed, Caitlyn led Matt to the training room. “I want to see the dogs. They’ll be gone in no time.”
The sadness in his gut burned for her upcoming loss. With how she was with the animals, he couldn’t imagine it was easy for her to say goodbye. He knew it killed her not to be mingling with the dogs—and the humans—during the final training sessions. Her closest concession to staying away had been to work in her office, which she still had to consider her choice since it was in the same building. With ease, she’d skirted out through the break room and didn’t stop to chat and had asked the staff not to come to the office or her house until this thing with Luke was settled.
She’d been floored that they’d still wanted to come to work, considering the potential danger that surrounded them. Matt hadn’t been surprised. He’d seen the devotion Rick and Tonya had to the animals… and to Caitlyn. She probably didn’t see how they nearly worshipped her. Besides, the veterans were on fire with anger over the situation and had told Matt that no matter their disabilities, they were there for Caitlyn. With his health improved, Melvin joined them in this cause. Matt wouldn’t turn away extra eyes. As long as they worked with his team instead of trying to be heroes.
As for visiting the dogs this evening, he was eager to see them do some of their tasks. Even though it was a simple task, he really enjoyed “Get it” and could do that all day with different items, in awe of the dog’s astuteness. It amazed him how the dog stopped what he was doing and picked up what had been dropped and ensured it was returned to the owner’s hand or lap if wheelchair bound. These dogs were so damn smart. Caitlyn and her team had done an excellent job with them. And considering she’d done it with them for a year and a half or so, she’d definitely have bonded with the dogs. Anyone would.
This wasn’t the first time she’d sent dogs off with a veteran, and it wouldn’t be the last time. She’d been at it for years. She had pictures of some of the recipients and their dogs in the hallway for the employees and anyone else to see. Their success stories even made his heart swell with love and pride for the job they did. Caitlyn had a gift with the animals, and this was her place. Nothing would change that. Even their burning love for each other. She’d needed this place when she’d opened it for her own rehabilitation, but now, she needed it because it was a part of her. Like HIS was part of him.
His mood sank through his gut and churned like curdled butter.
Entering to see the dogs, he’d expected her to run to Cooper or one of the dogs. Instead, she went to the kennel of a younger dog, probably less than a year old. She allowed him out and laughed while he smothered her with doggie kisses. Obviously the puppy was a little tyke.
He loved her laugh. It always made him stand up and take notice of the beauty with that melodious voice. Plus, it did his heart and soul good.
By the time they’d stopped their game, Caitlyn sat on the ground, and the dog curled himself in her lap.
“Come and meet Chip,” she said, petting a much calmer dog now that he’d bulldozed Caitlyn with his ball of energy. At least his entire butt wasn’t wagging with his tail any longer.
Bending over, since squatting w
asn’t something he could do comfortably with his prosthetic leg, he gave the dog affection. The pup, a yellow lab, soaked up the petting, nudging his head tighter into Matt’s hand and affecting his balance. He laughed. “Whoa there, Chip.”
With a sharp “Sit” command from Caitlyn, the dog plopped his butt down and didn’t move a muscle.
Amazing. The dog went from ninety to nothing in zero seconds. When he and his brothers tried that with the two dogs they had growing up, the results were disastrous. “Wow. I’d figured he hadn’t been trained yet since he was so… crazy. I’ve never seen a dog change behavior so quickly. What else can he do?”
“Not much more than basic commands. Although I’d prefer a veteran learn to handle their fears on their own, we’ll train Chip with “Block” and “Cover” commands.
Having no idea what those commands meant, he felt like an idiot, but she just smiled and explained as if she’d planned to do that all along.
“With the ‘Block’ command, the dog will position himself, or herself, in between the handler and the threat to his or her personal space, giving a much needed bubble to the vet. The issue is more of a common problem than you’d expect. The dog will know how to perform the task, but like I said, we hope the veteran is learning to overcome that obstacle in their life. It won’t always happen, but that’s why we teach it. A veteran, after serving our country and being injured—in any manner—shouldn’t have to feel threatened when they go outside and into public.
“With ‘Cover,’”—she changed commands so quickly his head almost swiveled to keep up—“the dog moves behind the handler, again creating a space buffer and that feeling of security.” She petted Chip softly on the head. “The dogs can do so much to help the veterans face issues that therapy can’t help eradicate.”
