by E. D. Brady
He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers, completely giving in to the reflex. Tasting the strawberry of her lip-gloss, he put both hands on either side of her face and pulled her head closer to him, deepening the kiss, basking in the way that she yielded to him, reveling in the feel of her little hands on his shoulders.
He pulled away and looked at her again, knowing that something in him had changed indefinitely. Something fell into place; a piece that he hadn’t even been aware was missing until that moment. He shook his head slightly. “Wow,” he said quietly, jerking his head to the side. And then she blurted out the cutest little giggle, melting his heart.
He leaned over and picked the remote off the coffee table and flicked on the TV, fighting the urge to repeat the kiss, knowing it would be his undoing.
“About our project,” she said, looking at him with confusion.
“We have time,” he replied, flicking through the channels. He shook his head. “I’m not really in the mood at the moment.”
“Oh, okay,” she huffed.
He put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him.
He stared straight at the TV deep in thought, torn to shreds by indecision and confusion. On the one hand, he was unequivocally hooked on the girl; on the other, he knew that he was being utterly selfish toward her. Sooner or later, he really would have to end this situation, but he just couldn’t seem to find the strength to do so. He was beyond disgusted at his own self-centered behavior.
“If it’s alright with you, I’d rather just hang out like this for a while,” he said.
She seemed more than content to sit with his arm wrapped around her for the rest of the night.
He loved the feel of her so close to him, leaning up against his shoulder.
The TV provided a necessary distraction from the angel who sat on his right shoulder and the devil on his left, both screaming accusations at one another, threatening to drive him demented.
He and Layla spent the remainder of the night casually commenting to one another about the comedy they were watching. And once again, he marveled at the ease of their relationship, at how she seemed to be the one person who understood his blunt, sarcastic humor.
He just about floated to his car when it was time for her to leave, amazed at how comfortable they were in each other’s company.
He gave her one more quick kiss on the lips before she jumped out of his car and headed up her driveway.
Jay watched her walk away. ‘The gods of fate must be laughing their butts off at me right now,’ he thought bitterly.
He rode home feeling a combination of euphoria and utter regret.
As he unlocked his front door, he had an overbearing suspicion that someone was already in the house. He let out a sigh and walked into his living room to see Ben sitting in the exact spot that Layla had occupied when he’d kissed her, and ironically, Ben was sipping on a glass of cola then placed in the same spot Layla had put hers. Jay wanted to pound on him for mucking up the lovely mental vision.
Ben was glaring at the TV, aware that Jay stood before him but didn’t bother to look up.
“Why are you here already?” Jay questioned, tasting Ben’s sour mood in the air.
“What are you doing?” Ben asked, looking straight ahead at the TV, his handsome face tight with disapproval.
“What are you talking about?” Jay questioned, knowing full well the answer.
“Save it, Jay,” Ben replied. “You told me you ended it with her.”
“I told you I was going to end it. I just failed to mention that I hadn’t yet,” Jay responded.
“When are you going to do it because that cuddling session, I witnessed through the window, didn’t look like you were anywhere near approaching the subject?”
“You were spying on me?” Jay asked, his voice thick with disgust.
“I came back early to keep you company, assuming you could use your best friend, only to realize that my company wouldn’t be needed. I wasn’t spying intentionally, but I caught a glimpse of her red hair through the window, so I peeked in to see what was going on.”
Jay walked into the kitchen and grabbed a soda from the fridge. He opened it and drank down half before grabbing a glass and returning to the living room. He flopped into the recliner and poured the remainder of his can into the glass.
“End this, Jay,” Ben said firmly, finally making eye contact. “You’re going to have to do it eventually. End this before she gets too attached. You’ll only end up hurting her, and yourself, probably.”
“Do you care if I hurt her?” Jay asked, staring at the bubbles in his glass.
“No,” Ben answered sarcastically. “I’m a cold-hearted, sadistic brute that takes pleasure in the idea of a young, innocent girl having her heart broken.”
Jay rolled his eyes, not bothering to look up.
Ben let out a loud sigh. “Truth be told, I actually really like the girl,” he said. “And I get it. She’s very attractive and there’s something different about her. I don’t hold it against her in the slightest that her dad and James royally screwed us, but…” he trailed off.
Jay shrugged his shoulders, wanting nothing more than to be alone at that moment. He knew Ben was one hundred percent right. He really needed to stop this silly infatuation before someone got hurt, but wasn’t interested in a lecture at the moment.
Ben chuckled once. “Actually,” he said quietly, “she reminds me of Lucia.”
Jay’s head shot up. “She doesn’t look a thing like her,” he stated.
“Not in her features,” Ben replied. “Something in her mannerism…a certain look. I can’t really explain it.”
Jay stared at his friend, trying to see the similarities in his mind that Ben apparently did. He pulled up an image of Lucia’s beautiful face, then Layla’s. He shook his head, confused by the comparison.
“Issy said the same thing,” Ben added.
“She did?” Jay questioned.
Ben nodded. “There’s something special about her…different.” He stared over Jay’s head, deep in thought. “I remember the way Lucia would look at me when I spoke to her, as if she was seeing into my soul, and that she liked what she saw. Do you remember that?”
Jay nodded and sucked in a breath. “I think about her all the time…even now.” He felt a quick stab of pain pierce his heart.
Ben looked at him, his lips pressed together in a sad smile. “My point is, you really don’t want to hurt a girl like that, do you?”
Jay shook his head and smiled bitterly.
“Okay, my man, I’m heading up to bed,” Ben said, standing up and stretching. He gripped Jay’s shoulder on the way past. “The sooner the better, yeah?” he added before walking out of the living room.
Jay sat at the kitchen table the following morning, squeezing his chin, staring out the open sliding doors into the unseasonably warm garden, watching a few brown leaves flutter to the ground.
Blowing off school to avoid Layla was a cowardly act, he knew, but he just couldn’t face the deed yet.
He heard Ben walk into the kitchen but couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to wish him a good morning.
“Ah, man, don’t tell me you chickened out,” Ben said, sliding into the seat facing him.
“I’ll do it tomorrow,” Jay answered without looking over.
“Wasting time won’t make it any easier,” Ben replied.
Jay had to fight the urge to reach across the table and punch Ben square in his handsome, self-righteous face. “I’ll do it tomorrow,” he said again, this time through gritted teeth.
“It’ll be alright,” Ben said calmly.
Jay shot Ben a disparaging look. “How would you know?” he demanded. “How would you have any idea what it will be like? You’ve never known. You’ve always had Issy. Have you even once considered what it’s been like for Joey and me to have to watch you and Issy so happy together all the time?”
“Chill, dude,” Ben said, raising his hands in a surrender fas
hion.
“Ben, just get out of my face for a moment,” Jay said, then he decided that maybe he should leave the room first, knowing that pushing this any further would end up in an argument he didn’t really want to have. He pushed away from the table and stood up. “I’ll see you later,” he murmured, leaving the room.
“Jay, wait,” Ben called after him, but Jay had no interest in discussing the matter further. He had said enough, possibly too much. He jumped into his car and headed for the little lake that was two miles from his house. Spending time with nature always had a soothing effect on him.
He sat by the lake for ages, thinking of Lucia, throwing tiny pebbles into the water.
When his phone beeped, he picked it up and looked at the front. Oh, God, it was Layla. He sat paralyzed momentarily, wondering if he should answer it or not, but in the end, decided that there was no point. By tomorrow, he’d be out of her life for good.
Layla
Chapter 9
The following morning, Layla breathed a sigh of relief when she spotted Jay in English class. She was surprised at how disappointed she’d felt the day before when he never turned up for school. She spent the entire day worrying that he was sick and alone until she remembered that Ben had decided to stay a little longer, not bothering to head back up north with his girlfriend and her brother.
She was forced to take a vacant seat up front with Julie, but turned around to smile over at him. He nodded to her stiffly, looked down at his notebook and continued to write. Layla was a little deflated, hoping that she would get more of a response from him, but then quickly realized that Schultz was scanning the class, eager to pick on someone he deemed was goofing off.
She did her best to concentrate on class but found her mind wandering to the school dance, thinking about dresses and accessories for the night. She didn’t normally enjoy such frivolous thoughts, but she wanted to look as good as she could, considering that it would be her first official date with Jay.
She tried to keep her enthusiasm at bay the previous day, knowing that Julie had decided not to go to the dance. Julie had assured Layla that she didn’t want to, but Layla had a feeling it was because no one had asked her.
When class ended, Layla picked up her bag and walked over to Jay. “I called twice yesterday,” she informed him. “I thought that maybe you were sick, and that you could use—”
“Yeah, I was busy,” he said with a forced smile, cutting her off. “Listen, I really need to get to my next class. I’ll catch you later.” He walked away from her quickly, leaving her staring after him feeling dejected and bewildered.
Instinctively, she knew something was wrong, that something had changed between them since Monday night. She felt her knees tremble slightly.
She walked to her next class trying to reason with herself that she was just reading too much into his strange disposition. She had already made that mistake two days ago, and it turned out to be nothing.
But what if she was right? What if something had changed? What if she’d been the victim of one of those cruel jokes some teenage guys play, making a girl fall for them for no other reason than to feed their own ego? That thought hit her a lot harder than it should have, rendering her utterly heartbroken.
Seeing Julie sitting alone when she entered the cafeteria for lunch, Layla’s mood sunk even deeper, but she tried to remain positive, assuring herself that he was probably just running a little late.
He never showed up.
She spent the remainder of the day in a foul and irritable mood, even going so far as to snap at Hartley whose only crime had been trying to make her laugh. She felt terrible instantly and apologized.
When the final bell of the day rang, Layla legged it out of class as quickly as possible to find Julie. She caught up with Julie by the staircase at the front entrance of the school. “Ready?” she asked.
Julie looked confused. “I thought you were going home with Jay,” she announced.
“What do you mean?” Layla asked.
“I ran into him after fourth period, and he told me that he would drive you home today, that he had something to talk to you about.”
Layla felt a knot tighten in her stomach, intuitively knowing that whatever it was that Jay wanted to tell her, it would not be welcome news.
She marched out to the parking lot to find Jay leaning against the passenger side of his Range Rover. When he saw her approach, he opened the door for her without even the hint of a smile.
“You wanted to talk to me?” she questioned, plastering a smile on her face.
He nodded. “Get in.”
“Well?” she asked as they drove away, bracing herself for the worst.
Jay didn’t answer but after a moment, drove into the parking lot of a nearby supermarket and parked at the back. He turned off the ignition and rested his head against the steering wheel.
“What did you want to say?” she asked again, acutely aware that her voice sounded a little shaky.
Jay straightened up and looked straight ahead, his face expressionless. “I think this situation between us is a mistake,” he said quietly without making eye contact. “I think I may have given you the wrong impression.”
Yep, it was as bad as she anticipated.
Her heart began to race faster. “I don’t know what you mean by that,” she replied. “I didn’t get any impression.”
He turned sideways and looked into her eyes. “Layla,” he said, then sighed deeply. “I’m really not in a position to date anyone at the moment.”
She felt rejection and heartache trickle slowly through her veins. She swallowed hard before replying. “No…yeah, that’s fine,” she answered, nodding a little too enthusiastically. “It’s cool…we’re cool.” She pleaded with herself to keep it together until she got out of his car.
“I’m really sorry if I—”
“No, it’s okay,” she said quickly, wishing that he’d just start the stupid car already.
“Okay,” he replied. “You’re okay with that, yeah?”
“Perfectly fine,” she answered. “But if you don’t mind, I really need to get home. I have somewhere to go.”
“Right,” he muttered and started the car.
As they drove down the long road to her house, she tried desperately to think of something to say to soften the heavy mood, but nothing would come. She could sense him glancing sideways at her from time to time and knew he could feel the tension rolling off her as she gazed out the window, biting on her thumbnail. She noticed him press the gas pedal a little harder, probably eager to have the unpleasant car ride over with.
Layla had to swallow a few times to keep the tears at bay, cursing herself for being so emotional. What was her problem anyway? It wasn’t like her boyfriend of two years had just broken up with her. She only really got to know him within the last couple of weeks. No matter how she tried to rationalize it, though, she just couldn’t deny that she was hurt deeply, regardless of how silly the notion seemed.
When Jay finally pulled up in front of her house, she turned and gave him a fake smile. “Bye, thanks for the ride home,” she said quickly and bolted from the car. She didn’t stop moving until she reached the sanctity of her bedroom. Then, to her utter disgust, she threw herself on the bed and cried bitterly.
The next day at school, Layla did everything she could to act upbeat and to avoid Jay as much as possible, but when she completely blanked him during English class, Julie was suspicious immediately.
“Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” Julie asked over lunch.
Layla knew there was no point in hiding the truth from her friend. As it was, Julie already knew that Jay had asked her to the dance, and now that wasn’t happening, eventually she’d have to come clean. She shrugged her shoulders. “It appears that Jay is not in a position to date anyone at the moment,” Layla confessed.
“He said that?” Julie pushed.
“That’s what he wanted to talk to me about on the way home yesterday.”<
br />
“What a total jerk!” Julie screeched.
Layla shrugged. “No, it’s fine, really it is.”
“Don’t lie to me,” Julie said. “I know you liked him a lot.”
“Yeah, but I’ll get over it,” Layla assured her. “At least I can go to New York with my mother for Thanksgiving now.”
For the next week and a half, Layla did everything in her power to ignore Jay completely.
English class was particularly brutal. She could feel the thickness in the air, even when he sat at the other end of the room.
She wasn’t pleased with her behavior. As much as she was nursing a broken heart and bruised pride, she knew that to ignore Jay was wrong, not to mention childish. They’d had a good time together over the past few weeks and to act like a total stranger was inexcusable.
She could feel his eyes on her from time to time, knew he was waiting for an opportunity to smile over at her to break the ice, but she just couldn’t bring herself to look in his direction. Not out of spite, necessarily, but because she wasn’t sure that she wouldn’t break down again the moment she looked at him. The plan was really quite simple; she’d just pretend he never existed, that he had only been a divine figment of her imagination.
Still, she couldn’t help rethinking every moment they’d spent with each other, wondering when everything went so wrong. There was no denying the fact that Jay seemed to enjoy their time together as much as she did. Could she have read him so incorrectly?
She took to running after school again. Maybe this was a good thing, an opportunity to get her life back on the track that she’d veered off of in the last few months. Layla had always been an avid runner, building her endurance up to ten miles a day over the years, but due to the hot summer, and her unwillingness to get out of bed early enough before the stifling heat hit, she’d gotten out of the habit since the previous spring.
Her first day out was brutal. She could barely make it a mile before she was out of breath, but it felt good nonetheless, and she was confident that her old stamina would return with persistence.
