by Nicola Haken
Then he pulled away.
“Nuh uh, doll,” he breathed with a wicked smile. “I need to be inside you when you fall apart. I need to feel you.” How the hell did he know? “Are you still taking your pill?” I simply nodded, too breathless to speak actual words. His grin grew so wide it almost touched his ears then he smoothed his palm down my body, past my belly button and settled between my legs. Grabbing my thighs, he pulled me into a lying position and spread my legs apart with his knee as he prepared to climb on top.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, concern clouding his beautiful eyes when I pushed him away with a flattened hand on his toned, heaving chest. Still unable to respond with words I slid my body out from beneath his, grabbed onto his shoulders and pushed him back so he was the one lying down. His already rapid breathing became even more laboured when he cottoned on to what I was doing.
“Doll…” he murmured as if he was going to stop me. Dexter always took control… he always gave me everything I needed.
“Let me do this, Dex. Let me give this to you.” He nodded slowly, holding onto my hips as I climbed on top of him, straddling my legs over his strong thighs. I bit my bottom lip nervously as I lowered myself onto him. I wasn’t used to taking control and I wanted it to be as amazing for him as he always made it for me. But then he let out a low growl from the back of his throat and I instantly relaxed.
I started to move up and down, slowly at first before gradually building momentum. Dexter’s hands had wandered to my breasts and he kneaded them gently, occasionally giving my nipples little tugs between his thumb and forefinger and sending waves of rippling pleasure ricocheting throughout my whole body.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” Dexter groaned, tipping his head back. It was all the encouragement I needed to start moving even faster. I worked hard and fast on top of him, placing my hands on his chest for support as the increasing pleasure made my strength begin to wane. It was coming again… the build… the ache…. the cascade of desperate need flowing through my core…
“Look at me, doll,” I heard Dexter say. It was only then I realised I had my eyes closed. Opening them, my eyes met his and suddenly I wouldn’t have been able to pull them away from his hungry gaze even if I’d wanted to. “I need to see your eyes when I give myself to you.”
I continued to work myself against him and I felt him growing thicker, as he neared the point of no return. I squeezed my thighs together, gripping him tighter, I couldn’t prevent the scream that shot out of my mouth when I slammed harder onto him, hitting places I didn’t even know existed.
“Now, doll. I need you to come now,” he practically ordered. Not that he needed to – I was already there.
“I am!” I whimpered. “Oh…oh… God… Dexter!”
“That’s it, doll,” he said through an almost animalistic growl. “Fuck me, that’s it. Just like that…” In that moment I exploded around him. As the waves of pleasure ripped through my body my strength began to wane and my knees started to wobble. Still, I kept moving while I waited for him. My body trembled, my heart raced and a mist of sweat dusted over my entire body. “I love you, Emily,” he breathed harshly. “So. Fucking. Much.” Then, Dexter joined me. His erection pulsated inside me as he pulled me down on top of him, twisted his fingers into my hair and kissed me.
Hard.
“I’ve missed you,” I whispered into his mouth. I felt the edges of his lips turn up into a smile against mine.
“I’ve missed you too. And I don’t ever want to have to miss you again.” Me neither, I thought silently. Then I gave in to the weak muscles in my legs and completely collapsed on top of him.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
~Dexter~
We must have stayed in the same position for half an hour or so. I was still inside her as her beautifully naked body remained draped over mine. She had her head on my chest and I curled those fiery curls I love so much around my fingers with one hand and caressed the bare flesh of her back with the other.
“You hear that?” she murmured against my chest.
“Hear what?” I asked, looking around the room for a clue.
“The song.”
I cocked my head as if getting my ears just that tiny bit nearer would make a difference.
“This is that Glee shit of yours isn’t it?”
“Yeah but forget who’s singing it… listen to the words.”
Closing my eyes, I listened intently to the dude warbling out of Emily’s cell. It only took a couple of lines to realize immediately what she was saying to me. It made my heart feel heavy with that iron block of guilt I can never completely rid myself of.
The guy’s voice started telling me there was nothing I could confess that would make him love me less. That he’d stand by me. That if I was mad I should get mad and not hold it all inside, and that I should talk to him.
“Emily…” I breathed - the words almost getting stuck in the slurry of regret pooling in my throat.
“Don’t,” she interrupted, staring up at me and placing her finger over my lips. “I don’t need any promises from you. I just want you to know, that’s exactly how I feel. This song could’ve been written for us. I will always stand by you, even in your darkest hour. You hearing what I’m saying, Dex? I will follow you down whatever path you end up taking… If it’s the wrong one, I will fight to the death to drag you back. I’m not saying your fear of losing me is the only reason you’ve struggled to talk to me in the past, but I’m telling you now I don’t want it to be a reason at all.”
“I’m in awe of you, you know that?” I shook my head from side to side, unable to believe this incredible woman was really mine… or that I deserved her to be. “I can’t wait to spend the future with you.”
“I feel ex- Oh my God!” Emily sprang to her feet, almost snapping my dick in the process before running like a cheetah on crack to the bedroom.
“Doll what the hell hap- oh. Fuck.” Aunt Sarah was standing in the doorway with one hand supporting a bag of groceries and the other covering her eyes.
“You know I’m always happy to see you, honey… just maybe not so much of you, huh?”
Shit.
“Sorry, sweet cheeks,” I said, catapulting from the couch and covering my dick with one of the furry purple cushions from the floor. Hmmm… tickles. I walked backwards towards the bedrooms, passing Emily who was now wearing a pink robe on my way past. She looked adorably mortified with her cheeks clashing terribly with her hair. I couldn’t help chuckle which made her shoot me the filthiest glare I’ve ever seen another human possess.
“Sarah I’m so sorry,” I heard her say, sounding delectably flustered.
Realizing I’d left my clothes in a crumpled heap on the living room floor when I entered the bedroom, I started rummaging through the boxes of stuff with my name on until I came across a pair of black jeans. I threw them on quickly and darted straight back to Emily.
When I stepped back into the living room Aunt Sarah opened her arms out wide and I strolled over to her, locking myself into a tight hug.
“You made it then,” she said, patting me back.
“You knew he was coming?” Emily interrupted.
“As in coming home for the night?” Aunt Sarah teased. “Guilty as charged,” she added, releasing me so she could hold her hands up in the air. “As in what I came home to. Well no, I wasn’t expecti-”
“Yeah we get it,” I said, rolling my eyes. Ugh. It should be illegal for people Aunt Sarah’s age to make sexual references.
“Go and sit on the couch and I’ll brew up,” Emily offered, literally squirming with embarrassment.
“I think I’d rather take the chair.” Aunt Sarah winked at Emily and when she bit down so hard on her bottom lip it turned white, I actually started to feel a little sorry for her. Watching the heat crawl up her neck and onto her face, I gave her a gentle pat on the back but still, an immature grin remained etched onto my face. You’ve not forgotten the fact I have a mental age of a twelve yea
r old sometimes have you?
After kissing Emily’s forehead I left her making coffee and took up a spot on the couch. Wow. I was left feeling a little breathless as I took in the magnificent view surrounding me. My family. My beautiful, amazing, unconditionally supportive family. Right now, in that very moment… my world was perfect. Complete.
I was happy.
The rest of the afternoon was perfect. We ordered Chinese food for dinner, watched a shit load of crap TV shows Emily had gotten herself addicted to on Netflix and laughed until we quite literally cried. We threw serious out the window for a night. There was enough of the heavy shit during my therapy sessions.
It was almost time to head to bed (which neither myself or Percy could wait for) when Aunt Sarah’s cell started singing in the background. Rolling her eyes and groaning because she was being forced to move from her comfy chair, she ambled over to the kitchen worktop to get it.
Emily was sprawled across my lap with her soft red curls flicked over my knee. I smoothed out the soft strands with my fingers, never taking my gaze from her baby-blue eyes. We sat in silence just staring at each other like freakin’ idiots and while Aunt Sarah wasn’t looking I arched my crotch into the back of her head, making her aware of just how much I couldn’t wait to get her to bed. Then she swatted my arm and gave me a firm tut, cocking her head towards Sarah.
“Well that’s not very hospitable of you. Percy is offended.”
“The walls are too thin in this tiny place,” she whispered.
“I can be quiet,” I assured her with a wink. “You on the other hand…” Yep, that earned me another swat. Chuckling at how adorable her pissed face was, my eyes wandered to Aunt Sarah who was still on the phone. It was only then I noticed how rigid her back was and that she was whispering.
“What’s wrong?” Emily asked as I gently lifted her from my knee so I could stand up. I covered my mouth with my index finger and let out a discreet shh sound. Emily sat on the edge of the couch and I tiptoed over to Aunt Sarah. “Dex!” Emily scolded so softly I barely heard her. I didn’t think I was in the wrong. I bet you want to know as much as I did who was causing Aunt Sarah to appear so tense.
“…not tonight. Can it not wait another few days? Okay, okay… I don’t know… No, I’m not budging on that one… he needs a few days to process this… yes… I guess we will.”
Aunt Sarah snapped her phone closed and after dragging in a heavy breath she turned around and almost shit her pants when she bumped straight into me.
“Who was that?”
“Go and sit down. I need to talk to you.” Shit. I didn’t like the sound of that. I guess I was hoping she would at least try to hide the truth from me. Was I ready to deal with any more crap right now?
Seemed I was about to find out.
“It was my father wasn’t it?” I said, pacing the living room, feeling too agitated to sit down. It had to have been him. Only he has the power to make the blood drain from her face.
“No. It was his wife, Patricia.” And what the fuck does she want?
“And what the fuck does she want?” I mirrored my internal thoughts.
“Please sit down, Dex. You’re making me nervous,” Emily asked gently. Nodding, I sat down next to her, taking her hand. I could do this. I could be strong for her.
“She’ll be here in twenty minutes. There’s something she wants to tell us apparently.”
“Like what?” Emily asked before I had chance. Aunt Sarah shrugged in response.
“She wouldn’t say. But Dexter…” she trailed off, her face crumpling as if she was deep in thought – as if she was trying to find the right words to use.
“You need to know if I can handle it,” I finished for her, feeling that bane of damn guilt again. “You need to know I’m not gonna flip my shit if she’s got bad news.” Emily’s fingers wrapped themselves a little tighter around mine. I guess this was what tonight was all about huh? Facing the real world. Granted, I expected a few days sabbatical before the shit started refilling the pool that is my life, but hey… no time like the present right? “I’ll be fine,” I assured the two most important women in my life. “I’ve got this. I promise you.”
“You can be honest with us, honey. We won’t think any less of you, you know that right?”
“Of course I do,” I answered sincerely. I have taken these two beautiful women to hell and back these last few months, yet here they were, sitting with me – one with my hand in hers and the other patting my knee. I think it’s about time I started believing that they will have my back. Always.
“You’ve not been discharged yet. I don’t want to risk unsettling the progress you’ve made.”
“Please, Aunt Sarah… I know I haven’t earned the right to ask you for this yet, but trust me. I can do this. I know I’ve gotten clean before in the past, but this time it’s so much more than that. It feels different. I think different. And… it wasn’t until I sobered up I realized I’ve got a hell of a lot more to lose this time.” My eyes instinctively roamed to Emily’s face and my taut mouth melted into a smile when I caught her blushing and chewing her lip. “I’ve started that list Jeff’s always droning on about,” I admitted.
“You have?” Emily practically gasped. “What have you put?”
“I’ll show you when it’s finished. But until then… well I just wanna make sure everything on it feels right, and achievable I suppose. I mean it, girls… I’m taking this real seriously. I’m determined to accomplish every single thing I’ve listed on the damn thing.”
I guess I can share with you guys because I trust you won’t tell anyone. Well, number 4 is ‘If you want to run, breathe, count down from ten and picture Emily’s face’. Yeah I know, makes me sound like a giant pussy doesn’t it? And don’t worry, they’re not all so long winded. Most are just a word or two.
One of my biggest flaws (if you don’t count my penchant for illegal substances of course) is running. I haven’t got much to offer Emily, but if she’s so determined to stand by me, the least I can do is offer her the same in return.
“I’m so proud of you,” Emily praised with the softest of smiles and a few glittering bubbles of tears balancing on her lower eyelids.
“We both are,” Aunt Sarah concurred.
“Right, girls. I’m gonna take a piss… make sure my dick’s still there. I swear all this Kumbaya shit is making it shrink.” The girls giggled and I doubt you’ll be surprised to hear that Emily rolled her eyes at me. Then, I headed to the bathroom, stared into the eyes of the man I was slowly starting to recognize again, and counted to ten.
**********
Holy motherfucking shit. I recognized her the second my eyes landed on her face. The lieutenant. The woman whose duty it was to punish for me what I did wrong and prevent Aunt Sarah having to give up her entire life to stay by my side while I repeatedly dragged her into the darkness. The woman… who chose to hand over a shit load of power and leverage to one of the most brutally twisted fuckers I’ve ever met.
“Patricia,” I greeted with an intentional scowl. She offered her hand to me and my instincts wanted to spit on the damn thing. But then I saw the faint hint of a yellowing bruise tainting her jaw and realized how much of a heartless bastard it would make me if I did.
“Can I get you a drink?” Emily asked attentively. Personally, I just wanted her to spit out whatever she had to say and leave.
“No. Thank you. I’m not staying long,” Patricia replied. Thank fuck for that. “I just came to tell you that Kevin has left…”
“Who the hell is Kevin?” I interrupted.
“That’s your father’s new name,” Aunt Sarah explained. Just thinking about him made a painful knot swell deep inside my stomach. “He’s left? What does that mean?”
“It means I presented him with every scrap of evidence I’ve kept hidden for all these years - everything he thought I’d destroyed. I showed him the case files I held on the money lenders after his blood as proof I knew exactly how to contact t
hem and that I wouldn’t hesitate to do so if he didn’t give me what I wanted.”
“And what do you want?” I pressed.
“Freedom,” she answered simply. “For me and Marianne.”
“My… sister,” I muttered to no one in particular as a peculiar stabbing pain jostled around my chest.
“She wants to meet you… before we leave.”
“She knows about me?” I quizzed, the surprise making me stumble back a step. “Wait… leave? Leave where?” So, she was planning to dump a sister on me and then whip her away from me before I could even get to know her?
“I have a sister in Phoenix. We’re going to stay with her.” Phoenix? That’s the other side of the country! I could feel the too-familiar fizzes of anger begin to bubble deep inside me. Why? I had no freakin’ idea. I’d never met this young girl, Marianne, yet I already felt some kind of bizarre fondness for her.
“For how long?” I snapped acerbically.
“Indefinitely. I’m sorry if that upsets you…” Does it upset met? I thought curiously to myself. Yes. For some inexplicable reason, yes it does. “But we can’t stay here. Too much has happened… too many memories.” I understood the point she was making, but that didn’t mean I had to be happy about it.
“So… she wants to meet me? Marianne?” I felt an overwhelming eagerness to meet her too – this girl I didn’t know existed until a few weeks ago. Weird, huh?
“Yes. I told her she had a brother last night, after Kevin left. She took it better than I thought. She may only be twelve, but she’s got an old head on those shoulders of hers. She’s witnessed too much in her short life to allow her the experience of a true childhood.” I know the feeling, I thought, but managed to refrain from saying. “I’ve always tried to keep as much as I could from her, but-”
“Believe me you won’t have kept shit from her,” I couldn’t help spit out. “Kids see everything.”
“I know that’s probably true,” she uttered guiltily. There is no ‘probably’ about it, but I let it go. “I think she already feels some kind of connection to you.” She sounded saddened by that fact. “She seemed to know instinctively that you’d witnessed some of the same things she had before I’d even told her. I think… well I think she likes the idea of having a big brother to share things with.”
