Gray and Sky arrived with Emma, telling everyone hello and apologizing for being a bit late. Gray took his daughter and placed her in the chair between them. Sky smiled, said hello to Dev and sat down next to her. There were already thoughtfully placed warm jars of homemade baby food sitting in front of Sky’s plate so she could feed Emma. Iris was picky and wanted only organic, homegrown food on her table. She was especially vigilant with the young ones in her expanding family, often preparing their food herself in the kitchen.
A young woman, Jenny, who worked as a sous-chef in the kitchen, brought out steaming bowls of beef-vegetable stew to each of them. The chef, Millie, a woman in her midforties, placed a huge sheet of steaming hot corn bread in the center of the table so everyone could reach for the recently cut squares slathered with butter. He waited like everyone else because Iris always gave a short prayer of thanks for the food. A bowl of fresh salad was the last thing to come to the table. Iris thanked the women. She then asked everyone to hold hands. Sloan felt greedy and maybe a touch guilty about holding Dev’s hand. He really ought to be focused on Iris’s short, heartfelt prayer. Dev’s skin was soft and Sloan hungrily absorbed the brief contact with her through his fingers.
After the prayer, everyone dug into the steaming platters of food. Pretty soon, the talk died down as they hungrily ate the hearty beef stew with the fragrant, buttery corn bread. Occasionally, Sloan would slant a glance in Dev’s direction. She was eating well. And he could see there was no tension in her face any longer. The family surrounding was helping her. Coming from a dysfunctional family like hers, this had to be a very special meal for Dev. There was laughter, joking and gentle teasing going on at the table. Joseph was hungry, stuffing a piece of warm corn bread with butter into his mouth. It brought nice memories of his own family gathering for a meal in their log cabin, in the Allegheny Mountains of West Virginia. That same family warmth, that love that took many forms in his own parents’ home, was here, as well.
Sloan watched Dev’s face soften as she watched Wes and Kam’s son eat, his face powdered with crumbs of cornmeal. It made her smile. And then she devoted her attention to Emma. She was a delicate child, pretty and lively. Dev would make a good mother someday, Sloan realized. There was a lot of sensitivity in her, as well as deep compassion. And secretly? Sloan wanted Dev for himself. He didn’t try to resist daydreaming of them being married and having children just like Emma and Joseph. But that was all it was, Sloan sternly told himself, a dream. Just a dream.
*
DEV SAT WITH Bella between her legs. Mouse sat up on the truck seat between herself and Sloan as he drove them home. It was nearly dark and the cab smelled of sweat and horse, neither of which were offensive to her, but a wonderful perfume to her nose.
“Well?” Sloan drawled. “Did you enjoy your day out at the Elk Horn Ranch?”
Dev smiled. “Very much. Thanks for bringing me along.” She stroked Bella’s head. “It was fun going for an early-afternoon ride with Kam and Sky. Bella loved it, too. She got to stretch her legs.”
“You need times like this,” Sloan murmured. “It will help you relax.”
“You’re right,” Dev admitted, looking out the window, the gray outline around the sharp pointed peaks of the Tetons in the distance. “I guess I didn’t realize how tense I always am until today.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve been feeling anxious since Gordon attacked me,” Dev said, frowning. “I don’t sleep well at night. And if I feel claustrophobic or shut in, I get panicked. Today, at the lunch table with Iris and her family, I felt really happy. At peace. Even now, I feel calm inside. My anxiety is gone.”
“That’s good. What do you think helped you the most today?”
She smiled a little, placing a kiss on Bella’s head. “Just being around family again… I mean…a real family. A family that honestly loves one another and is glad to be in one another’s company. Their two children were so precious…”
“Unlike your own family?”
Dev felt sadness move through her heart. “Yes, unlike my own. I guess I’ve always pined for a real family. A happy one. And at the Mason ranch, I felt like I was a part of it. They made you feel welcome, as if you were important and counted among them. And they wanted to hear what you had to say. What you thought.”
“A healthy family usually does all those things.”
Dev glanced at his rugged profile as he drove down the hill toward Jackson Hole. “Is your family like that?”
“Very much so,” he murmured.
Frowning Dev mumbled, “Sometimes I think I got dropped off at the wrong address.”
“What do you mean?”
“That the stork dropped me off at the wrong house number,” Dev murmured, with a little embarrassed laugh to go with it.
“I wish I could take you home with me. My ma and pa would dote on you. They always wanted a daughter, but they got me instead.”
Heat moved through her lower body at the gritty response from Sloan. Dev yearned for his touch. When he held her fingers during the brief prayer Iris Mason gave, she’d felt like a starving emotional glutton absorbing the feel of Sloan’s roughened hand. “You turned out well.” The idea of going home to meet his parents fed her heart and Dev couldn’t understand why. Sloan never crowded her. Nor did he look at her like she was sex on two legs, as Gordon always had. She still, to this moment, felt invisibly enveloped in that sense of safety that he gave her. One day, Dev wanted to tell him about it, discuss it, because she’d never felt anything like that before. She was grateful to have Sloan in her life.
Sloan’s mouth hitched upward as he slowed the truck, driving into town. All the bright lights of the many restaurants, the main plaza lit up with hundreds of tourists crowding the area, seemed to make him more alert than usual. “I was a handful, though.” He chuckled. “But they loved me, anyway, and eventually I straightened out. My pa started taking me with him to teach me farrier skills when I turned nine years old. He decided learning to deal with horses was a big adventure and he was right. I’m always fascinated by horses, how they think, what they see and how they’re processing it all.”
“That’s why you understand human nature so well.” At least, Sloan understood her. Last night when she had divulged Gordon’s attack on her, Dev had so badly wanted to crawl into Sloan’s arms. She saw it in his eyes to do just that. Her throat tightened. Sloan had so far proven he was reliable and steady. Not once had he made her feel terrified. Just the opposite. Her lower body clenched and she recognized that familiar feeling. Somehow, Dev sensed Sloan would be a caring lover. Her fiancé from so many years ago, Bill Savona, had been like that with her. Heart aching, Dev realized she’d never found a man like Bill. He’d been killed by an IED in Afghanistan, two weeks short of leaving and returning to the States to marry her.
“I think some people have deeper insight than others, don’t you?” Sloan asked, guiding the truck to the south side of Jackson Hole.
Dev gently put her memories of Bill away. She’d been twenty years old and had fallen helplessly in love with the Marine K-9 handler. It had been instant attraction, just as it was with Sloan. Was this something similar? Or was it because she was so lonely? Or that she wanted to be loved once more, and to love someone in return? Or a mix of both? Rousing herself, Dev said, “I do. I think anyone who works around animals like we do has an extra smidgen.”
“Animals bring out a human’s sensitivity,” Sloan agreed. The traffic lightened as he drove them out of the town, heading west toward the shadowed Tetons in front of them. He slanted her a glance. “You’re a very sensitive person. How did you manage in that family situation you were caught up in?”
“I don’t know,” Dev offered quietly, remembering those times. “I know I always felt stressed-out anytime my parents argued with one another. Which was often. I wish I’d had a shield or something to protect me from feeling all the things I felt. I could feel their rage, their frustration…”
&n
bsp; Giving her a quick glance, Sloan asked, “Maybe you’re an empath.”
“What’s that?”
“My ma has the Sight. Among the Hill people, she’s known as a seer. She helps people all the time because she can see the aura and colors around a person. And people often come to her when they’re sick. She lays hands on them and they always feel better afterward. She works a lot with our Hill doctor, Poppy Thorn. She lives on Black Mountain.”
“Is your mom an empath?” Dev wondered, unfamiliar with the word.
“No,” Sloan said. “She doesn’t take on or absorb other people’s energy. She knows how to protect herself from it.”
“Is that what I do?”
“Sounds like it. Do you know if either of your parents are psychic?”
“No, not that I know of. Is being an empath bad, Sloan?”
He gave her an apologetic look. “Sorry, didn’t mean to upset you with that observation. Empaths are just supersensitive individuals, and usually they tend to be female. They are sort of like a sponge and they absorb other people’s feelings whether they want to or not.”
“Well, that part is true about me,” Dev admitted unhappily. “I hated when my parents fought with one another. I always had an upset stomach. I felt like I was being bombarded with bullets.”
“Right,” Sloan agreed. “And you took it all in and you couldn’t help it.”
Dev frowned, mulling over Sloan’s explanation. Was she absorbing his energy? Feeling his sense of protection, his calmness enfolding her, helping her anxiety melt away and dissolve? Dev needed to know. He braked and turned right into the apartment complex. It was dark and she could see the stars that always looked so close at this altitude. “Sloan? Ever since I met you, I’ve felt like…this…invisible embrace, like arms folding around me, when you’ve been close to me.” Dev opened her hands as he glanced at her. “It wasn’t bad. It’s always been a wonderful feeling. As if… As if you were tucking me into this warm cocoon and it makes me feel protected.” Her mouth quirked. “Am I imagining it? Or is it really happening, Sloan?”
He parked and turned off the truck. The sulfur lamps invaded the truck and he saw the confusion in her face. “Empaths can pick up on good energy around people, too,” he said. “It’s not always about picking up bad vibes or negative human feelings around someone.”
She licked her lower lip, holding his gaze. Right now…Dev could feel a powerful wave of energy swirling around her, so calming and yet, incredibly melting and loving. That feeling startled her because she knew what love felt like from falling in love with Bill, and it had been a lot like this. Sloan’s narrowed eyes were focused and intent upon her. Yet Dev did not feel threatened. If anything, the incredible warmth was making her feel insulated from the world and shielded. The feeling was like drinking water when she was dying of thirst. The sensations were life fortifying to her. Never had Dev felt what she was feeling right now. It was so alive, so good and so healing. Her hands tightened momentarily around Bella’s collar. Dev was afraid to ask, but knew she had to. “Are you—are you doing this on purpose? I mean, do you visualize this energy and send it around me?”
Leaning back, his arm going across the top of the seat, Sloan smiled a little. “No, you’re just picking up on my feelings is all, Dev. Nothing more.”
“It’s a wonderful feeling,” she whispered, suddenly shy in his presence.
“Better than the other type, right?” Sloan teased gently.
Just the way he looked, the soft amusement reflected in the depths of his eyes… Dev nodded, her throat going dry. “If I’m an empath, how do I protect myself from picking up bad feelings people have around them?”
Sighing, Sloan confided, “I don’t know. My ma said these folks were special, that they were born with that supersensitivity. She did say that they should try to always have calm and quiet surroundings because they couldn’t handle a lot of strife and stress.”
“Great,” Dev mumbled, shaking her head. “So I’m a walking sponge that absorbs everyone’s feelings.”
“But I’ll bet because you have that sensitivity, Dev, you and Bella were great at what you did in Afghanistan. You saved a lot of lives in the process. You do realize that, don’t you?”
She studied Sloan’s serious expression, his low voice riffling through her like a lover’s caress. “That’s true. Bella and I would pick up on the same threat at the same time. No one else around us did, but I did. I guess it’s not all bad.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “Like at lunch today? I just loved feeling the people around the table. Everyone was so happy. I felt lifted. High, maybe.”
“See?” Sloan said. “Being empathic has its positive points, too.”
Dev frowned, moving her fingers nervously across Bella’s shoulders. “The feelings I feel from you, Sloan?”
“Yes?”
Her heart beat a little harder because Dev was unsure of herself. “Are the feelings I’m picking up from you how you’re feeling?” She tilted her head, searching his eyes. There was a dark, liquid look in them and it made her lower body yearn for Sloan. His physical touch must be as wonderful as the feelings she felt around him right now.
“My ma said empaths can sense emotions around another person.”
Dev didn’t have the guts to ask a follow-up question. She still carried a raw, open wound from Gordon’s assault. And while she trusted Sloan more than any other man since that attack, she was too scared of her own inability to trust what she read in people. Instead, she asked, “Is that why I was always so upset and stressed with Gordon around? I was picking up on his intentions toward me?”
“Could have been,” Sloan admitted. “But people like him are wolves in sheep’s clothing and they tend to send out mixed signals to people. They don’t want anyone knowing who they really are or what they really want. They hide.”
“Well,” Dev admitted, “I was confused by him at first. I could feel him hiding something from me. He always had this big award-winning smile and I fell for it. But then, when I had to spend some time around him, I felt like this oozing sleaze was pouring over me. It was the worst feeling, Sloan. I used to shiver, a cold feeling sliding down my spine when it would happen. I would try to get away from him, get into another room, another building, to escape it.”
“You were more than likely picking up on his intentions toward you, but also who he really was beneath that mask he wore.”
Rubbing her face, Dev muttered, “God, it was horrible, Sloan. Sometimes, when I was in Afghanistan, going through a village, I could pick up easily on men who hated Americans. I felt them. It was so visceral.”
“Right, you would.” Sloan gave her a gentle look. “This is something that’s a part of you, Dev. You can’t help it and you can’t turn it off or on. It’s automatic, like breathing.”
She wrinkled her nose. “I wish I didn’t have it.”
“Maybe you’d feel differently if you hadn’t had such a rough childhood. My ma knows an empath, Poppy Thorn, our Hill doctor. She lives happily with her two daughters plus a son-in-law, Gabe Griffin, on the other side of Black Mountain. They love one another, so that’s the difference between what you grew up with, your parents not getting along. Poppy’s family situation is the opposite of what you experienced, so she’s not stressed-out like you were.”
“Does Poppy ever get exhausted by being around people all day long?”
“Ma told me once that Poppy sees people only a few times a week. Gabe drives down to Dunmore to pick up groceries and run errands for her. She doesn’t like doing it because it wipes her out for days afterward, due to all the human contact. And we’re talking about physical energy. It just leaches it from Poppy when she’s around crowds of people for too long a time.”
“Ugh, that’s me.” Dev rolled her eyes. “I’m always glad when my time is up at the visitor’s center. I left every day feeling wiped out. I’d much rather be riding on a trail or tracking a lost person than be behind that counter. Nature doesn’t wipe me
out. Crowds do.”
“Well, maybe you found out something new about yourself today that you didn’t know before?”
“Yes.” Dev gave him a warm look. “Thank you. I just didn’t ever know what was going on within me, or why.”
“Well, I think this is enough for tonight. Let’s get inside.”
Dev opened the door and put Bella on a leash. She gave the yellow Lab a signal and she gracefully leaped out from between her legs, cleared the truck and landed on the pavement. Sliding out of the cab, Dev heard Sloan order Mouse to come. The Belgian Malinois was on a leash, too. As she shut the door, feeling the cool wind, Dev looked up to admire the twinkling stars embedded in the black velvet night sky above them. She felt Sloan approaching before she saw him. Maybe being an empath wasn’t always a bad thing. Sloan felt safe. The man turned her on and made her body ache with need. He was a strong, silent person whose internal gentleness beckoned to her so powerfully she almost couldn’t stop herself from wanting to touch him…kiss him.
They walked through the main entrance of the second apartment tower. And Dev, like Sloan, chose to take the stairs, not the elevator. Both dogs eagerly bounded up the wooden stairs. Dev could smell different things cooking as they walked quietly down the carpeted hall past other apartments. She halted at her door, bringing out the key from her pocket.
“Are you doing anything tomorrow?” Sloan wondered as he opened his apartment door.
“No,” Dev said, turning. She saw a glint in Sloan’s eyes, a half smile lurking at the corners of his kissable mouth. “Why?”
“Feel up to a fortifying trail ride? We could start out about nine, but first, I’d take you to my favorite breakfast restaurant on the edge of town, and buy you the best sourdough pancakes in the world. Are you game?”
Out Rider Page 10
