“And then he was torn from you.”
The words hurt to hear and she felt her heart crumple a little. “Yes,” she admitted hollowly. “In an instant.”
“And it takes years to get over someone who was taken from you, Dev. I saw it in other instances around me.”
“No question. I was just coming out of what felt like a long, dark tunnel emotionally when I got assigned to Great Smoky Mountains National Park. I was at the end of my grieving for Bill, I guess. But I’d done so much inner work on myself, the tears, the memories, confronting the reasons he’d died, that I wasn’t really paying much attention to things around me.” With a weak shrug, Dev added, “And Bart Gordon was there, watching me all the time, but I honestly wasn’t aware of it at first. Wanting me for all the wrong reasons.”
“So,” Sloan said, moving his right hand down his thigh, “you reeled from one tragic trauma to another with Gordon.”
“Yes, it was a slowly occurring disaster even though I didn’t realize it at the time. I’d never been stalked. Never been around that kind of person. I didn’t know what to look for, the signs…”
“Most people wouldn’t, gal, so don’t go so hard on yourself.”
She drowned in his dark blue gaze. It looked like clear, deep ultramarine Pacific water. “Yeah, I get a little hard on myself sometimes.”
“And then,” Sloan said gently, “you met me.”
Gulping, Dev forced herself to hold his gaze. She felt nothing but that incredible blanket of warmth swirling around her. It was the most wonderful sensation she’d ever felt and she hungered daily for it. “I’ve been living in an unsafe world for so long, Sloan.”
“Do I make you feel safe, Dev?”
Her heart rolled in her chest. Her voice became stronger. “Yes. Ever since we met, I’ve always felt…protected…when I’m around you. You even made my anxiety go away and I still can’t figure out how or why it happens.” A sweet keening fluttered through her lower body. “Part of me wants to run to you, Sloan. The other part questions my ability to know a good man from a bad one. Not that you’re bad, but I’m just scared.”
“That’s what I thought,” Sloan murmured, giving her a sympathetic look. “You just need time to sort everything out, Dev. There’s no hurry. Never has been.”
She stared at him, the silence growing between them. “Then, how do you feel about me?” Her throat constricted, the last word coming out strained. Dev tried to prepare herself for being wrong. The expression on Sloan’s face softened.
“It’s mutual, Dev. Miss Gus wasn’t wrong, bless her heart.”
She didn’t know whether to scream and yell with joy or retreat. Dev tried to tell herself Sloan was nothing like Gordon. And he wasn’t. It was just the memories, those dark clouds of suffocating terror that popped up, unwelcome and unwanted. “I guess I needed to come clean. I’ve felt something toward you from the moment you pulled up and helped me out with that flat tire on my horse trailer.” She tried not to convey her nervousness, gripping her damp fingers together. “I didn’t come here expecting to find a relationship.”
Sloan nodded. “Even misfits find one another in this world, gal.”
“Am I a misfit, Sloan? Are you?”
“Naw,” he teased, “it’s just an expression, is all. I think you’re still reeling from Gordon’s attack. That was recent. It takes a long time to deal with something like that, Dev.”
She tilted her head, staring intently at him. “When I’m with you, all that anxiety goes away.” Tears suddenly sprang to her eyes. Shocked, Dev wiped her eyes. “I don’t know what it is,” she blurted. “I get so emotional when I’m around you, Sloan. No one has ever done this to me before…”
The look on his face grew tender. “Come here,” he said, his voice low and thick.
As Sloan turned and eased his arm off the back of the rocker and curved it around her shoulders, he didn’t try to pull Dev toward him. Instead, he allowed her the decision.
Dev’s throat tightened, a lump forming as his long arm slid lightly across her shoulders in invitation. Her heart twisted in her chest, caught between the past and the present. Lifting her lashes, she sank into his stormy-looking eyes, feeling him monitor the weight of his arm against her shoulders. And then something deep within her snapped. Dev wasn’t sure what it was, what it was about, but she found herself moving so that her leg was pressed against the length of his hard thigh. Her hand drifted to his starched, pressed white cowboy shirt, her palm resting near his slowly thudding heart beneath it. His eyes changed, narrowed, and Dev knew he was going to kiss her.
And that was exactly what she wanted. It was as if he’d silently read her and knew what she needed. As Sloan lifted his other hand, sliding it against her jaw, Dev closed her eyes, her skin skittering with tiny flames of pleasure. She felt such tension within Sloan, as if he were holding himself in tight check. Without thinking, because her pounding heart had taken over, she flowed against him, her breasts meeting the wall of his chest as she lifted her chin, wanting him to kiss her.
Sloan skimmed her lips lightly. Nothing crushing. Not controlling her. Rather…inviting her to respond. His mouth was strong, curving lightly across hers, testing her, seeing how much she wanted, seeing how far she wanted to go. Her nostrils inhaled the clean scent of soap along with his masculine scent—it flooded her as she dragged it deep into her lungs. Dev slid her hand across the cotton of Sloan’s shirt, feeling his muscles tense beneath her exploring fingers. There was such a sense of power and urgency thrumming around her and yet Sloan’s mouth was tender, searching, silently asking her what she wanted.
No man had ever kissed her like this, gently introducing himself, allowing her to respond as little or as much as she wanted. Sloan’s breath was moist against her cheek, a little ragged, the tension tightening between them. The ache in her lower body flared to life each time his mouth took slow, leisurely sips from her lips. A low moan of pleasure caught in her throat as he cupped her jaw, angling her so that he could kiss her more surely, if that was what Dev wanted. Her heart was galloping in her chest and her fingers slid up his corded neck, feeling his heavy pulse beneath.
Dev parted her lips, opening to him, opening to possibility. She felt Sloan lurch inwardly and place a steel grip upon himself, his arm sliding a little more strongly around her shoulders, holding her just so, taking her lips, savoring the first real taste of her.
Dev felt as if she were a flower slowly unfolding to his slow exploration of her. He was taking his time, enjoying the physical act of sliding his mouth across her lips. The sensations radiated outward and downward, engaging her yearning heart and gnawing lower body. This man knew how to kiss a woman, there was no question. She brushed against Sloan’s recently shaven cheek, feeling the sandpaper quality of it. Every subtle touch sent waves of heat and hunger surging down through Dev. His fingers moved slowly through her silky black hair. He treated her as if she were some beautiful, fragile being to be worshipped and given back to, not taken from.
Her entire body burst open from the deepest levels within herself as Sloan positioned her head just a little more, his mouth able to capture hers more deeply, urging her to explore him at the leisurely pace that was setting her on fire. Dev had been so right! She’d known Sloan would be a man who knew how to kiss a woman. And now, there was no question that he would be an incredible lover, taking her to places she had never been with a man before.
Dev’s breath was becoming short and ragged. She slid her fingers around his nape, drawing him closer to her, her breasts pressed insistently against his chest. She felt them tightening with need, the nipples puckering, begging to be touched by Sloan. Lost in the enveloping fire he was creating with just his mouth and the way he held her, cherished her, as if she were the most precious woman on earth, Dev felt herself sinking deeper and deeper into his mouth, his hands, his body galvanized with tension. And when she opened her lips more, at the shy brush of her tongue against his flat lower lip, Dev sensed a powe
rful trembling move through Sloan, as if the pleasure were nearly too much for him to handle.
Sloan took her mouth more surely and she dissolved into the texture, taste and heat of him. All the sounds of nature around her faded away. Only the pounding of her heart and their ragged breaths mingling ruled her sensory universe. There was such yearning between them and Dev felt as if at any second, it would snap and break. Need, lust and arousal surrounded her, tunneled through her needy body, and her mind dissolved into that boiling cauldron.
*
SLOAN HAD TO ease away from Dev’s mouth or he wouldn’t be able to control himself much longer. Agony in his lower body commingled with fierce need for her, and he slid his fingers slowly through her hair, gently easing his mouth away from hers. He barely opened his eyes. He was shaking inwardly, his breath uneven, heart stuttering. Never, in all his life, had Sloan fallen so quickly into a woman’s heat as with Dev. He allowed his hands to curve around her shoulders, watching her eyes slowly open. Her lips were parted, slightly swollen from the power of their kiss. Dev had surprised him completely. Only when she sank into their fevered state had she allowed him to see how hungry she was for him. And when she had, she’d taken Sloan around a sharp bend filled with raging lust.
Her eyes were drowsy looking, filled with arousal. It was the luminous look in them that made his heart turn over and swell with an unknown emotion that sent him soaring. He didn’t want to name the emotion. He didn’t dare. It was far too soon. All they’d shared was a kiss. A kiss that had rocked and fractured the world he knew. As he drowned in her forest green eyes that took his breath away, Sloan felt as if she had made him punch-drunk. One kiss…
He noticed how dazed Dev had become. Their kiss must have sent her somewhere intensely pleasurable because he saw a faint upward crook at the corners of her mouth. Allowing his hand to fall away, he smiled a little unsurely at her. “I feel like lightning struck us.” His voice was low and roughened with passion, there was no denying that. Dev’s cheeks had become flushed and she touched her brow, running her fingers slowly through her mussed hair. The expression on her face could only be interpreted as wonder. At least it wasn’t shock, Sloan thought wryly. Their kiss had been something out of this world. Extraordinary. Sloan swore he was floating. Her lips were ripe, full, and he ached to lean down and capture them once more. The knowledge that he couldn’t bed Dev, that he had to wait, made him slow down. She wasn’t the kind of woman that could be crowded, corralled or pushed. Dev had come to him. Sloan had felt her need, her yearning, and that was when he’d risked everything by catching hold of her hand, holding it in his.
Dev could have jerked her hand out of his, but she hadn’t. And when her slender fingers had shyly curled around his large scarred ones, he’d known. He’d known this wasn’t one-sided. It wasn’t just him wanting her. It was mutual.
His heart raced with a dizzying joy that made him feel like he was an untethered balloon joyously surging skyward in celebration of that knowledge. Hope infused him as he saw Dev smile wonderingly up at him, amazement shining in her half-opened eyes, her pupils huge and black. She was so beautiful to him. Every square inch of her Sloan ached to lick, nibble, kiss and nuzzle, letting her know just how exquisite she was to him.
Lifting his hand, he smoothed a few errant strands of hair on the side of her head. The sun was setting behind the majestic Tetons in the distance, sending golden shafts of light shooting boldly across the wide valley. The shadows were growing deeper along the lake. And it was getting cooler.
Sloan wondered what Dev thought of their kiss. He could see her nipples pressing against her orange-and-fuchsia tunic. His hands fairly ached to slide around the curve of those full breasts of hers. He barely brushed her cheek with his thumb.
“Coming back to earth?” he teased in a thickened tone.
Dev made a happy sound in her throat and closed her eyes, her hand pressed against her upper chest.
“We probably need to start walking back, gal. It’s getting chilly out here.” The last thing Sloan wanted to do was get up and go anywhere. He desperately wanted to sit and listen to Dev, explore where they were with one another. That kiss meant everything to him. And he sensed it did to her, too, but he wanted to hear it come out of Dev’s mouth. If anything, Sloan had learned the hard way in his lost marriage that if he didn’t communicate often, the end result was assumption by both partners. And that was the first major fault line in a marriage going wrong. A slow-moving disaster toward hell.
Just sitting there watching the play of expressions across Dev’s face told him so much.
“Oh,” Dev whispered, finally opening her eyes, her fingers resting against her throat. “I’ve never been kissed like that.”
A faint curve came to Sloan’s mouth as he held her spellbinding gaze. “Me neither,” he confided, mirth in his voice. “It was nice. Real nice. Was it for you?”
Dev licked her lower lip. “Oh, yes. I’m still floating, Sloan.”
“Can you walk?” Sloan asked in jest, standing and offering her his hand. The air was turning chilly now that the sun was behind the Tetons.
Dev slipped her hand into his. “I’ll try,” she murmured.
“I won’t let you fall,” Sloan promised as Dev eased to her feet. She wavered a little and he slid his arm around her shoulders, pulling her gently to him. Dev flowed against him. His skin burned everyplace she touched his body with hers. Sloan was sure Dev wasn’t fully aware of how much she incited him because she still had that transfixed look in her eyes, was still coming down from the lust and the firestorm of arousal their mutual kiss had created.
Sloan eased his gait for her. Dev slid her arm around his waist, leaning against him. The happiness that threaded through him was profound. It filled him with hope. He’d never thought he’d ever meet a woman like her. Dev trusted him. Sloan knew enough about her past, about her mistrust of men thanks to Gordon. She felt soft and flowing against his angled body. Silent pleasure thrummed through him. Dev nestled her head against his shoulder. It felt like there was some kind of silent infusion going on between them even now. It was all good.
As Sloan led her back to where the path moved up a slope, he removed his arm and grasped her hand, pulling her up onto the dirt road. The sky was turning a deep pink in the clouds high above them. It was a beautiful, chilly evening. Dev seemed content to hold his hand. Judging by the clarity in her gaze, she was starting to come back down to earth. She no longer felt tense. No, Sloan felt a melting kind of bonelessness in Dev and it reflected in the grace of her walk alongside him.
His head spun with shock over how one kiss with her had upended his world. Had it done the same for her? Or would this kiss scare her off at some point? Sloan knew there was a minefield between Dev and himself. Part was due to Gordon, part from her nearly dying in Afghanistan when that IED was set off by her dog King, who had lain down near it. Bomb-sniffing dogs were taught to sit or lie near the ordnance. Only this time, Sloan knew, the dog had lain too close and set it off, killing him and wounding Dev.
No, he had a long, hard road to slog through with Dev, but Sloan didn’t see it as insurmountable or impossible. In less than two months, she had come to him on her own terms and of her own accord. Patience was a virtue and he knew that in spades. Now, if he could just get his body to settle down and accept that pace, things would be great.
CHAPTER TWELVE
“YOU LIKE SLOAN, don’t you?” Cat Holt asked Dev as they worked in the kitchen two weeks later, for another Sunday dinner at the Bar H.
Dev was making a huge salad for the family, who were chatting and visiting with one another in the living room. Sloan had offered to help, but they’d both shooed him out of the kitchen. Dev wiped her hands on her green apron. “I do.”
“But it’s complicated?” Cat asked, giving her a wry sideways glance as she stirred a pot on the stove, making the gravy for a huge pot roast that was still baking in the oven.
Dev’s mouth quirked. “Is it tha
t obvious?” She moved to the counter and washed the Roma tomatoes off beneath the faucet and then set them beside the wooden cutting board.
Shrugging, Cat continued to stir the gravy, dipping the spoon into it and blowing on it to cool it enough to taste it. She added a bit more salt. “Just a feeling, is all. You kind of remind me of me and Talon. The first time I saw him in that blizzard, I felt like someone had put an electric charge on my heart. I was so drawn to him that it scared the hell out of me.”
“Sloan said you had an abusive ex-boyfriend you were trying to get rid of?” Dev ventured, picking up the knife to begin slicing the first tomato.
“Yes.” Cat sighed, shaking her head. “Beau Magee. He stalked me. I hated it.” She gave Dev a sympathetic look. “And you’ve been stalked, too. You know the terror. The uncertainty. I never knew when Beau might silently reappear and scare the hell out of me.”
Dev became grim. “Only Bart Gordon isn’t here, thank God.”
“But you’re dealing with the aftermath of his attacks?”
“All the time.” Dev lowered her voice, making sure only Cat could hear her. “I’m so drawn to Sloan. It’s scary sometimes because I’ve never felt that way about any man, Cat. Not that I’ve had tons of men in my life, but the ones I have had relationships with were not like this.”
Cat picked up a bottle of dried basil and shook some into the thickening dark brown gravy. “And you’re scared?”
“To say the least. I’m on unknown ground with him. There are days when I’m happy to have him around, but there are others when my past, the assault by Gordon, leaves me scared.”
“You’re questioning your ability to see a person accurately. Right?” Cat pushed some hair away from her brow.
“In a nutshell, yes.”
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