“That’s it,” Dev admitted, releasing a breath of air. “My father wasn’t who I thought he was. He had this…this…mask on. The mask is just another word for manipulation of me and everyone else around him. Part of the alcoholic’s personality.” She ran her fingers distractedly through her hair and shook her head.
“Well,” he said gently, leaning forward and resting his elbows near his knees, “as a child, how could you know that? I don’t think you could. You just accepted him at face value.”
“Yes,” she said bitterly, “I did. I was too young…”
“You were innocent, Dev. All children are. They can’t be expected to have an adult’s mind. They don’t have the experiences behind them to see when something like that is wrong. You can’t be hard on yourself like this.”
“Gordon manipulated others, Sloan. Just like my father did. Only he wasn’t an alcoholic, he was a sexual predator in disguise.”
“Gordon is a stalker, too. He uses camouflage to hide what he really wants from someone, Dev.”
“Why couldn’t I see it coming?”
“Why would you?”
“Because I grew up with it,” she muttered, disgust in her tone.
“Gordon was different from your father in some respects,” Sloan suggested. “He was after you. Your father wanted to manipulate everyone in the family so as to continue his drinking. There’s a huge difference there, Dev. Do you see that?”
Glumly, she released her hands from around her knee and stretched her legs out in front of herself. “I didn’t…but I do now that you mention it. They both manipulated for different reasons and outcomes.”
“Yes, they did.” He saw her chewing on the realizations, absorbing them, and Sloan felt good that he could help her parse some of these issues.
Sloan took a huge risk. “Dev? Do you think I’m hiding from you in some way?”
She stared blankly up at him, her lips parting.
He felt her stunned reaction and clearly saw it in her expression. Maybe it was the wrong thing to ask, but Sloan had to know where he stood with Dev. Without knowing that, he had no way of knowing how to work with her, how to gain her trust. Did she see Gordon or her father in him in some respect?
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
DEV FELT HER throat close as Sloan asked the question, but she pushed through the fear. “Cat was saying that with you, what you see is what you get.” She shrugged. “I can’t fully trust myself to see people very well, Sloan. But I do trust Cat. And I know the Holt family loves you. You’re one of them.”
“Is that what you believe?” Sloan asked gently.
Her heart thrashed in her chest and Dev desperately wanted to move into Sloan’s arms. She knew he’d open them, allow her to crawl into them to hide. To feel safe. “Yes,” she whispered, her voice choked sounding, “I do believe that.”
“So what’s got you so bothered, Dev? I see fear in your eyes sometimes.”
She stood up, wrapping her arms around herself, looking out over the Tetons now covered with thickening, fluffy clouds at their peaks. The sun had set behind them. The light was bright here and there in that constantly swirling, changing mass of clouds. Dev turned toward Sloan. “This is going to sound stupid,” she warned him. “But for the last three weeks, I feel as if someone has been watching me, Sloan. I don’t know if it’s my wild imagination or if it’s real.” She opened her hands, feeling confused. “It feels like Gordon. Honest to God, it does.” She watched his tightening features. A flash of concern flared in Sloan’s narrowing blue eyes.
Pacing back and forth on the path in front of the swing, Dev said, “Now I’m waking up some nights, having nightmares about the bastard again. Sometimes, I think I hear him at the door, twisting the doorknob, trying to get in. But Bella isn’t barking, so I know it’s in my head. It’s horrible, Sloan.” She pressed her hand to her brow and halted in front of him. “I feel some days like I’m going crazy because I feel his eyes, feel his eyes on my back again. Watching me.”
“Have you seen him?” Sloan asked, frowning.
Giving a shake of her head, Dev said, “I wish I had! If I’d seen him, then I’d know I wasn’t making it up. It would be real. When I leave the apartment to go to work, I’m looking around like a scared animal, Sloan.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about this before?” he demanded.
“Because I didn’t think you’d believe me. I thought—” Dev shrugged “—you’d think that I’d gone off the deep end or something.”
Sloan rose slowly. Opening his arms, he said thickly, “Come here, Dev.”
A lump formed in her throat. There was nothing she’d rather do than go to Sloan. Without a word, she stepped into his arms, pressing her cheek against his chest, wrapping her arms around his narrow waist. Just the sensation of his hard, muscular arms around her allowed her to release a sigh of relief. Inhaling his scent, part sweat, part clean soap and his maleness, Dev shut her eyes tightly.
“It’s going to be all right,” Sloan soothed, grazing her hair and sliding his hand lightly up and down her back.
“I feel so ashamed,” Dev muttered into his shirt. “Like I’m losing it or something.”
“I believe you are picking up on something,” Sloan confided to her in a low voice. “There are things we can do to prove it, one way or another, Dev. We can go to Cade Garner, the deputy sheriff, and you can tell him your story. He won’t think you’re crazy, either. I’m sure Cade can check up on Gordon’s whereabouts.”
She sagged against Sloan, who felt like a protective oak tree. His arms held her gently, not too tightly, helping her ratchet down her anxiety and worry. Lifting her head away from him, she looked up. “What could Cade do?”
“Find out where Gordon is located. He spent time as a felon. He’s out of prison now and probably has a parole officer. And he no doubt has to check in with him weekly.”
“Okay, that’s a good idea. He was also supposed to wear an ankle device that would show his whereabouts.” Dev felt so good in his arms. And then she whispered, “Sloan, thank you…for everything. Right now, the way I feel, you’re like a rudder in my life.” He smiled faintly, his eyes burning with so much more than he was acting upon. She didn’t want to pull out of his arms, but Dev didn’t dare stay, either. It wasn’t fair to Sloan to tease him. She knew it was a special hell he was caught within, too. As she released her arms from around his waist, he allowed her to step away from him.
“You’re an empath, Dev. Let’s find out the facts and we can go from there.”
*
DEV’S HANDS WERE damp as she sat nervously in Cade Garner’s office a week later. The morning sunlight was strong and from his glass-enclosed office, she could see the rest of the busy sheriff’s department gearing up for the day. Sloan was standing nearby since there was only one chair at the front of the deputy’s desk. Even after a week, she was still frazzled by that sense that someone was watching her. Earlier, when looking in the mirror, she’d noticed there were shadows beneath her eyes because she wasn’t sleeping well at night, either. Her only comfort was Bella, who was a watchdog of the first order. Glancing to her right, she saw Sloan was leaning casually against the doorjamb, watching the comings and goings of civilians and deputies up and down the polished-tile hall.
Dev eyed him worriedly. “What if I’m wrong? What if Gordon isn’t anywhere near here?”
“I believe that someone is watching you. Maybe you’re still working through some of the shock that’s still surfacing from your last attack, Dev.”
She immediately settled down beneath his low, soothing tone. Most important, Sloan wasn’t questioning her. He had no idea how much that meant to her.
A deputy as tall as Sloan with black hair and gray eyes entered the office. It had to be Cade Garner. He shook hands with Sloan and then halted at her chair.
“I’m Cade Garner, Miss McGuire. I’m sorry we couldn’t see you sooner. I was following up on your complaint,” he said, holding out his hand to her.
“I—I’m sorry to take up your time on something that is probably my imagination,” she rushed on, giving him an apologetic look.
“Not so fast,” Cade cautioned her, coming around the desk and sitting down. He nodded toward Sloan, who quietly closed the door, giving the three of them privacy.
Dev felt Sloan’s hand come to rest gently on her shoulder. He was standing so close she could feel the heat off his body. Automatically, she inhaled his scent and it steadied her nerves. Cade had a file on his desk and opened it, his expression serious. He held up a color photo.
“Is this Bart Gordon?” he asked her.
Instantly, Dev’s stomach clenched. Her mouth went dry. “Yes…it’s him. And please call me Dev.”
“Okay,” Cade said grimly, sliding the photo into the folder. He held her gaze. “Gordon’s parole office reported him missing a month ago, Dev.”
Gasping, she came out of the chair. “That’s when I started feeling him around me!” she cried out, her heart frantically pounding. She jerked a look up at Sloan, terrified. His eyes were dark with concern.
Cade nodded. “I’ve got an APB out on him in Teton County, Dev. No one has seen him around here. At least, not yet.” He opened his hands. “And he may not be here, but maybe he’s in the general vicinity. We just don’t know, yet.”
“His parole officer? The ankle bracelet he had to wear?” Sloan asked, guiding Dev back to the chair. “Has he checked into Gordon’s family?”
“He has,” Cade said. “He cut off the ankle monitor. It was found in his apartment. His mother had no idea where he is. His brother, Justin, who is a car mechanic in Martinsburg, West Virginia, hasn’t a clue, either. And the brother doesn’t like Bart too much, from what the parole officer who dropped by his shop and interviewed him said.”
“Did Gordon have a car?”
“A silver Dodge Ram truck,” Cade said. “We’ve got the make and the license plate.” He gave Dev a gentle look. “Have you spotted him at all since we last talked on the phone a week ago?”
She shook her head. “No. But…I feel him. I know this sounds weird, but I feel his energy around me.” She slid her arms around her waist, feeling as if she were slowly suffocating once more. Only Sloan’s reassuring hand on her shoulder helped her stop going down that path.
“As law enforcement, many times we’re working off our hunches and intuition, too, Dev. I believe you. Okay?”
Relief tunneled through her. Two people believed her. “Thank you. What do I do now? What if Gordon’s around here? Watching me? Stalking me again?” Her voice grew hoarse as she asked the last question. Sloan’s fingers move lightly across her shoulder, comforting her.
Cade remained resolute. “Just stay alert. Don’t go anywhere without someone with you, if you can.”
“I think,” Sloan said, slanting a glance down at her, “that we need to talk to our supervisor, Charlotte Hastings, about this. She can’t be putting you in situations where you’re alone until this situation is resolved, Dev.”
Licking her lip, she gave a jerky nod. “Yes…okay…that’s a good idea. I’ll do that Monday.”
“I’ll go in with you if you want,” Sloan offered, holding her distraught gaze.
“I’d like that. Thank you.” Because right now, Dev felt like she was splintering apart within herself once again.
“You know that Gordon had sealed juvenile court documents? That we can’t touch them? But he did something illegal when he was fifteen,” Cade added.
“Did the officer interviewing the brother ask him about it?”
Cade shook his head. “No. And unless we get a confirmed sighting of this man, I can’t go back and demand to have those sealed records opened.”
“I understand,” Dev said. “I—just feel so horrible, like it’s happening all over again. Only this time, I know he’s out there and he’s stalking me. The first time, I was completely blind to it until he sneaked up behind me and attacked me in the barn, Cade.”
“I understand,” Cade murmured, sympathetic.
“Listen,” Sloan said in a deep voice, holding her moist gaze, “you have me. I’m not going to let anything happen to you, Dev. This time around, you have Cade and his department out looking for this guy. They’re going to find him if he’s around here. They’re good at what they do.” He moved his hand soothingly across her shoulder. “And I have your back, Dev. Take a couple of deep breaths and we’ll work through this situation. You’re going to be fine.”
Dev’s insides felt like so much jelly. Now the terror was flowing strongly through her. She had sensed Gordon. It had felt like a thick, oily film surrounding her, closing in on her, slowly suffocating her. She desperately needed some fresh air, was unable to sit still much longer. When she got rattled like this, she had to walk. “I need some fresh air,” she told them, her voice unsteady.
Cade rose. “Of course. Can I get you a cup of cold water?”
Sloan slid his hand around her upper arm, helping her stand.
“No… I just need air. I need to move around. I guess I feel like if I sit still too long, I’m a target,” she joked weakly. There was no way she could force this fear down and make it go away. She was grateful that Sloan placed his hand in the small of her back. Cade opened the door for her.
“We’ll be in touch,” he promised her. “The moment we get eyes on this guy, you will be called. I’m going to see what I can do about getting his juvie court records opened.”
“Good,” Dev whispered, reaching out and squeezing his hand. “Thanks so much, Cade. It feels good to have some protection this time around.” Because there had been none before. She felt Sloan’s large hand, warm and comforting. Dev didn’t mean to, but she leaned into him, the fear so great she couldn’t get her feet working right until she really focused on them.
*
DRIVING ON THE way home, Sloan tried to keep his emotions hidden from Dev. He saw her wrestling with the situation, her fingers in constant motion in her lap. Her lips were set and she was tense.
“Talk to me?” he urged. “What’s going on inside your head, Dev?”
“I’m angry. I’m so pissed I can’t see straight, Sloan. How dare this bastard come after me again!” She threw up her hands. “I realize I don’t have proof he’s here, but I feel him! That’s enough for me.”
“And it was enough for Cade Garner,” Sloan reasoned with her, glancing over at her. Normally, Dev’s cheeks were a pink color, but right now, she was pale. Her green eyes that normally reminded him of a deep emerald were dark and scared looking. “You have people who will protect you this time around, Dev. It isn’t a forest supervisor taking Gordon’s side of the argument this time around. Cade will do everything within his legal power to find this bastard. So will Charlotte. I’m sure she’ll hand out a photo of Gordon throughout the USFS system, both here and in Yellowstone Park.”
“Gordon’s hiding in plain sight,” Dev muttered defiantly. “That’s what he did at our park HQ. He waited until we were alone. Or he’d follow me into a room or office when no one else was around, to entrap me.”
Sloan scowled. “That supervisor should have been fired.”
“Oh, he’s still there, believe me. I feel sorry for all the other women rangers who are forced to work under him. He’s prejudicial as hell against women in general,” Dev said angrily.
“Charlotte will believe you. We should go to see her Monday. I think she’ll want to know for a lot of good reasons.”
Cutting him a glance, she demanded, “Is Hastings one of those women who is a good ole boy at heart? That will take a man’s side over a woman’s word? They’re out there, you know.”
“I know they are. But I’ve been here for two years and Charlotte has never been like that from what I can see. She’s fair and evenhanded and doesn’t consider gender in her decisions. People get promoted based upon their abilities, not their sex.”
“That’s good to hear because frankly—” Dev pressed her hand against her
stomach “—I’m terrified of seeing Hastings. I worry she’ll be like my other supervisor and blame me for Gordon stalking me. Will say that if I wasn’t such a pretty young woman, if I didn’t have such a great-looking body, that it wouldn’t have happened.” Her mouth flattened. “I’m so sick of that kind of attitude.”
He reached out, gripping her tightly fisted hands in her lap. “There are a lot of good people who respect women as equals. You have me, you have Cade Garner and many more besides us. There will be plenty of others who will support you.” He squeezed her clasped hands gently and released them. “I know Charlotte will back you on this. She’ll do everything in her power to see to it that you are kept safe and are not anywhere alone while on duty.”
“It’s a start,” Dev whispered. “Maybe if these men could put the face of their wife, their daughter, mother, aunt or grandmother on the woman they’re stalking, they’d think twice about doing it.”
“That would be helpful,” Sloan said. “But those kind of men are sick. They’ve been taught that it’s okay to abuse a woman, take what they want from one, that they won’t be held accountable.”
“I got some of that when I was in the Marine Corps,” Dev said, her voice sounding exhausted. “If it weren’t for Bella, who’s a great watchdog, there were guys in my company who might have raped me. I saw it in their eyes, the way they treated me, the way they hinted around that, when they found me alone, they were going to force me to have sex with them. One sergeant tried, and Bella attacked and bit him. He drew his knife and was going to slit her throat because she’d defended me. I started screaming and it brought the gunny sergeant running. He saved us.”
Dev shivered. “Thank God our gunny intervened. I pressed charges. But it went nowhere. The captain of the company buried it. The Marine got his ass chewed, but that was all. The only thing that stood between me and that group of Marines was the gunny and he had a little “talk” with them one night. From that time on, everyone left me alone, but I could feel their hatred, their anger. They wanted to get even with me for reporting the Marine who attacked me. As it was, my rate was frozen and I didn’t make sergeant like I should have. It was just too much, Sloan. Too much.”
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