Second Time Around

by Carol Steward

  Kevin waited casually, pretending he hadn’t heard a word Emily had said. Please, help Kevin to see how much he would love being a daddy, God. And help me to give him the time he needs to decide. She looked up, thrilled to see Kevin put Ricky on his shoulders and grab the fishing pole.

  They spent the afternoon fishing and hiking along the banks, gathering sticks and pinecones. The flowers were just beginning to bloom, and Ricky wanted to pick all of them.

  “If you leave them for a few more days, they’ll be much prettier,” Emily suggested. “Then we can pick two or three, but not all of them.” He scrunched up his face at the advice, but settled instead for making a pouch from his T-shirt to hold the collectibles he found along the path. When they returned to the cabin, Emily helped him make a centerpiece from the twigs and clusters of cones and various other “treasures.”

  While Kevin prepared the fish, Emily put a bowl of broccoli in the microwave and buttered a loaf of French bread. Her mother and sisters returned while dinner was cooking. After they all ate, Emily bathed Ricky and put him to bed upstairs on a folding cot.

  Kevin was increasingly disappointed that he hadn’t spent much time alone. There was nowhere to escape, and he was impatient to get started on the cabin. He knew Bryan was, too. Kevin couldn’t imagine what four kids sounded like within these walls. Ricky seemed to echo off them all by himself.

  Emily brought some needlework with her, and filled any spare time with that. Naomi had her knitting, Katarina brought books, and Lisa had her paints and easel. Her project for this week was a portrait of Emily and her new son. Kevin loved watching her work, especially when the subject was so interesting.

  Once they were satisfied that Ricky was asleep, Emily suggested a moonlight walk. They both welcomed the break from the stress inside.

  “Mom seems to be adjusting to everything. She’s thrilled to have a grandchild, finally,” she said as they strolled.

  Kevin laughed. “How did she expect to get grand-kids when she did her best to chase any husband-prospects away?”

  Emily didn’t say anything, but snuggled closer. Even he was chilled by the cool evening air. “I guess I’m a fine one to talk, aren’t I? It’s not that I don’t like kids, Emily. It’s not even that I don’t want them. You know I always wanted us to have a house full of little ones.”

  “I remember,” she said softly. “I’m not trying to pressure you, Kevin. I just need you to know where I’m at. If you decide you can’t commit to me and Ricky…I’ll manage, and so will you.”

  He leaned his head against hers. “I feel like some ogre. We were younger then. Young and naive. Taking a chance at hurting you again is bad enough, but to think of involving kids…like Ricky. He’s already lost his mother and father. What if I had died after that accident?”

  “You didn’t die, Kevin. It was a freak accident. If you hadn’t choked on that candy, we wouldn’t have made nearly the issue over it.”

  He shrugged. “It’s not just that. We weren’t absorbed in careers eight years ago. I don’t know how I can back off now that business is booming, Emmy.”

  She knew what he was feeling and understood his doubts. There were no easy answers. “Kevin, don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to give me an answer today.”

  Kevin stopped walking and pulled her into his embrace. “I think Alex was right.”

  “About what?” Emily asked, wrapping her arms around him.

  “I need my head examined for having even one doubt, don’t I?”

  Kevin pulled a sleeping bag and pillow from the closet and moved out to the veranda to sleep. The stars were bright and the mountain air was crisp. Even when he snuggled to the bottom of the bag, his shoulders stuck out.

  He went back inside to grab a sweatshirt from his bag and was surprised to hear the sisters still giggling as if they were having a slumber party. He slipped back outside unnoticed, wondering how Ricky could sleep through the noise. The little tike was his last thought upon falling asleep, and his first upon waking up.

  Ricky greeted him early the next morning, completely dressed, well before anyone was awake inside. Kevin left a note on the table and took Ricky fishing. They made a short pole from a willow branch and fishing line, and sat on a grassy spot along the bank, next to a quiet spot in the river.

  The little boy’s cough started with an occasional ticklish sound. Kevin didn’t think much of it, but after a while it became more constant. “You catching a cold, Ricky?”

  “No, just a cough. I have medicine to take. Dr. Em—Emily gives it to me.”

  “Let’s head back and see what Emily has planned for breakfast, shall we?”

  Ricky eagerly pulled in his empty line and ran up the hill to the cabin, with Kevin puffing and panting close behind.

  Kevin got Ricky a glass of juice and told Emily about the cough. After listening to Ricky’s chest, she gave him his asthma medicine. By midmorning, Ricky was feeling better, his cough was much quieter, and he went from one activity to another at lightning speed. Kevin worked outside until lunch, trying not to intrude on the women’s time together.

  Before long, Ricky made his way outside, too. “Kevin, will you play football with me?”

  Kevin reached his hands out, expecting a little toss. Ricky wound up and slammed him in the chest with the sponge ball. “Nice throw.” He stepped farther back and returned the ball. They continued playing until Emily called them for lunch.

  The tension among all of them eased as the week went on, so much so that Naomi eventually offered to watch Ricky so Kevin and Emily could get away for an afternoon.

  Emily didn’t hesitate for a moment. On the way out the door, she grabbed the pole in one hand and took his hand in the other. “I want to fish. Will you teach me?”

  “We’ve been fishing all week. Why haven’t you asked earlier?”

  She shrugged. “I was busy keeping an eye on Ricky. Since he’s napping now and Naomi’s babysitting, I can relax and enjoy it.”

  They hiked farther downstream to an area with fewer trees to get caught on, then set down the tackle box. Kevin tied a fly and showed her how to “strip” the line. Then, standing behind her, he held her arm, showing her the rhythm of casting the line back and forth, letting out more line with each cast.

  Emily began to get the idea, so Kevin let her go on her own. He whispered suggestions as if it were some sort of secret. She turned her head to talk to him, and the line went wild. She cast forward, and her arm jerked to a sudden end.

  “Oh, no, I’m caught on something.”

  Kevin felt a tug on his shirt and laughed. “Looks like a big one.” He twisted around to try to grab the hook from his back, then saw the line arc from him to the willows at their right, then over to Emily. Kevin walked over, hoping to untangle it without losing the fly. Emily turned. Kevin ducked under the pole, and the line snapped loose. The hook tugged his shirt again, and Kevin swung his arms, trying to avoid the line getting tangled around him.

  “Emily! Kevin!” Lisa called. “Ke-e-e-vin! E-em-m-m-ily!

  Kevin turned just as Emily did, and the two wound up fighting each other’s efforts. “Lisa, we’re down here.”

  “Hurry up here. Something’s wrong with Ricky!”

  Emily started up the hill, and was quickly jerked backwards. “Kevin!”

  “I’m trying to reach my knife, just a minute. The hook is caught in my shirt.” Emily turned to look, and whacked Kevin in the head with the pole. “Stop tugging, Emily, you’re making it worse. And drop the pole, would you?” Once he was able to get his hand into his pocket, he cut the line, and they both bolted up the hill.

  Emily ran into the cabin, directly toward the horrible wheezing sound. “Get his medicine.”

  Katarina handed it to Emily, adding, “We just gave him two puffs a few minutes ago.”

  “Let’s get him to the hospital. Call ahead for us.”

  Kevin carried Ricky outside, then tried to hand him to Emily, but the little boy tight
ened his grip around Kevin’s neck while continuing to gasp for air. “I guess you’re driving, Em. I’ll sit in back with him.”

  He turned to the preschooler. “Watch, Ricky. I’m going to buckle my seat belt right here next to you. But I need you to sit in your seat, so we’re both safe. Okay?” Before Kevin detached the boy’s arms from around his neck, he buckled his seat belt across his lap and showed Ricky. “It’s your turn now.”

  Kevin couldn’t believe the drastic change in Ricky’s condition in such a short time. It was a struggle for him to breathe.

  “See if you can get him to take another puff from the inhaler. I don’t think he’s breathing deeply enough to help much, but we’re going to have to keep trying. As soon as we get him to the hospital, they’ll set up the nebulizer treatment.”

  Kevin shook the medicine, then held the mask over Ricky’s nose and mouth. “Come on, sport, I need you to take a really deep breath.” Kevin gently coaxed him to keep inhaling. He brushed the damp hair from Ricky’s brow and wiped the perspiration with his shirtsleeve. Just as Ricky tried to inhale, he went into another coughing spasm. By the time they reached the hospital twenty minutes later, the wheezing had deteriorated to a high-pitched whistle, and Ricky seemed too weak to care who was holding him.

  Emily pulled into the emergency room parking lot. “I’m going to go order the medicine and get him admitted, while you bring him in.”

  “You’re so good at giving orders,” he teased, giving her a wink of encouragement.

  She put the car in Park and ran inside.

  “Ricky, we’re going into the hospital to get you help.”

  “Daddy?”

  Kevin stopped dead in his tracks. “It’s me, Kevin.”

  “My new daddy,” the boy said slowly. He smiled and put his head on Kevin’s shoulder. “Emmy, my new mommy.” Just saying those few words seemed to exhaust him.

  Kevin felt love seep through him. He was unconditionally loved by a little boy who had lost everyone dear to him, everyone except his new mommy. A little boy who had every reason to be angry, yet trusted God, trusted Emily, trusted him. Just because. There were no strings, no conditions, just love.

  It was enough. Just love… Okay, God, I get the message, loud and clear. If I could ask a favor, it’s that You let me have a chance to be Ricky’s daddy.

  Kevin closed the car and was inside before he realized it. When Ricky saw the doors to the emergency room, his body grew tense, and Kevin held him closer than ever.

  “I know how you feel, Ricky. I don’t like this place, either, but they’re going to help you. Just take it easy. I’ll stay right here with you.”

  I’m not about to let you go. All the way down the corridor Kevin found himself breathing more deeply, as if doing so would benefit Ricky.

  He suddenly realized that Ricky would be alone if it weren’t for Emily. Of course, somebody would see that his essential needs were met, but it wouldn’t be the same.

  He recognized the love in Emily’s gaze when she looked at Ricky; it was the same tender gaze she gave Kevin.

  Suddenly it was no longer a matter of Ricky needing Kevin, but of Kevin needing Ricky—the little boy who had the wisdom to teach Kevin all about what was important in life.

  Love.

  Not money. Not jobs. Not business commitments. Just love.

  Emily met him at the door and led Kevin to the nurse who was waiting with the treatment, then paused. “I need to finish filling out the forms.”

  “You go ahead, Em. I’ll take care of Ricky.” He sat down and turned Ricky in his lap so the nebulizer pipe could blow directly on Ricky’s face. With each gasp for air, Ricky’s laboring lessened slightly.

  “We’ll need to take his vitals and listen to his lungs, Mr. Berthoff, if you could please undress your son.”

  Kevin laughed to himself, suddenly flattered to be mistaken not only for a married man, but for a father. He must be doing okay at the job if he’d already convinced one nurse. The moment of humor was a welcome reprieve. “Come on, Ricky. Let’s show the nurse your muscles.”

  She took over holding the pipe, while Kevin undressed Ricky. Kevin tugged on the sleeves of the boy’s gold-and-black CU Buffs football sweatshirt and gently worked it over his blond head. The toddler squirmed in Kevin’s lap, snuggling closer as if cold. Kevin indulged in the chance to wrap his arms around the boy to keep him warm.

  After the treatment, the nurse put an oxygen mask over Ricky’s mouth and nose. A doctor arrived and wrapped his hand around the metal disk of the stethoscope to warm it for a minute, then placed it against Ricky’s back.

  It was as if Kevin were back in the hospital himself, watching as the doctor listened to the little boy’s lungs and heart. Kevin looked up, surprised to see Emily standing calmly in the doorway with her gaze fixed on him.

  In that moment, he realized that God had given him another chance to have the love and happiness he had pushed so far away. He had allowed Emily’s love to heal him. Kevin winked, and gave her a slow, secret smile, which he knew she understood.

  They were a family.

  Emily stepped closer and knelt next to the chair. “How’s he doing?”

  “Better. Aren’t you, sport.”

  Ricky nodded.

  “Thank you for coming along, Kevin.”

  “That’s part of being a dad, isn’t it?” He smiled.

  Emily’s mouth gaped open. As soon as they were alone, she looked at him with hope in her eyes. “Are you serious?”

  “Of course I’m serious. I’d never joke about becoming a father.”

  The nurse returned a while later. “Mr. Berthoff, Dr. Berthoff, this is a prescription for Ricky’s medicine…”

  Emily looked at Kevin and started to correct the nurse, but Kevin shook his head and winked. What in the world are you up to, Kevin MacIntyre?

  “If you’ll just sign here, you can take your son home. The doctor is comfortable with you monitoring his treatments.” The nurse gave Emily more instructions and handed her a form to sign, while Kevin dressed Ricky.

  On the way out the door, Emily looked up at the two blond men in her life. “‘Mr. Berthoff’?” she repeated incredulously. “Isn’t that carrying your point a bit far?”

  He chuckled. “I thought it was kind of cute, myself. And I will say, I definitely liked being mistaken for your husband.” He paused. “Ricky, what do you think of adopting a mommy and a daddy?”

  “Yeah! Can I have a brother and a sister, too?”

  Kevin laughed. “We’ll have to wait and see what God has planned on that one.” He looked at Emily. “I know it’s been like beating your head against a wall, Emily, but this little guy here finally drove the point home. What do you think of becoming Mrs. Dr.-Emily-Berthoff-MacIntyre? Or whatever you want to be called.”

  “I think…it’s about time.” Emily smiled and leaned forward to give Ricky, then Kevin, a kiss.

  “Are you twitterpated now, Dr. Em—Mom?” Ricky asked, his voice raspy.

  “Yes, Ricky, I am.” She looked at Kevin again. “Always was,” she murmured.

  “Don’t I know it! We’d better get back to the cabin. Your mom and sisters are going to wonder what happened to us.”

  Chapter Twenty

  First thing Monday morning, Emily arranged to take a few weeks of family leave. She and Kevin took Ricky to see a specialist so they could learn more about controlling his asthma. As far as they could tell, his attack in the mountains had been caused by the high levels of pollen and dust. Now he was improving.

  Emily was scheduled to sign the adoption papers that Wednesday, but postponed it so she and Kevin both could do so after the wedding ceremony.

  With all the changes Ricky had already been through, she and Kevin had decided it would be easier on everyone if there wasn’t a long engagement. That way, when Emily went back to work, their family would already have settled into their own routine, however chaotic.

  She called George and Harriet and put Ricky on t
he phone. “I’m going to get a new mommy and a new daddy. Dr. Emmy is getting married to Kevin this Saturday.” Emily laughed at how quickly Ricky was picking up new expressions from Kevin, such as calling her Emmy. The two were inseparable, just as a father and son should be, she thought.

  Though this was the busiest time of the year for weddings, Pastor Mike had worked to fit them into the church schedule. She and Kevin agreed to have the ceremony in the courtyard, and have the reception at a nearby restaurant.

  Her sisters and mother were troopers, pulling everything together for the small ceremony. Emily took the box out of her closet and tried her wedding dress on for the first time in eight years. Once she had it cleaned, it would be perfect.

  Kevin came in after work and looked around at the piles of fabric and ribbon. “I thought this was going to be a simple ceremony—me in jeans, you in…oh, never mind, that’s later. Sorry, got the ceremonies mixed up.” He winked, pleased to see her cheeks turn a brilliant shade of pink. He lifted the corner of material and took a peek. “Have you seen Ricky under all this stuff recently?”

  “He’s playing at Laura’s. They’re going to bring him home after supper. By the way, what are you fixing?”

  “Fixing? For dinner? Me? How about my specialty, pizza?”

  Emily laughed. “Good idea. Mom doesn’t like mushrooms, but anything else goes.”

  He looked at Naomi and smiled. “We have one thing in common, anyway.”

  Emily’s mother smiled back. “It looks like I owe you an apology, Kevin. I should have put my own selfishness aside and let my daughters find happiness years ago.”

  Kevin wrapped an arm around her. “I’m in no position to criticize. I am glad you’re putting the past behind you, for your own sake, as well as Emily’s. And I want to thank you for giving me such a precious gift.”

  Naomi looked at Emily, confused. “You haven’t opened my gift yet, have you?”

  Emily shook her head, and Kevin chuckled mischievously. “I’m talking about Emmy. Your daughter is an incredible woman. Thank you. I promise to take good care of her and to be faithful ’til the day I die.”