by Love, Kimmy
"Really? Because you weren't behaving the night that we met."
"Neither of us were."
They grinned at each other. That one night kept coming up again and again; the night where it all began, and despite all the chaos that had come from it, they both remembered it with fondness as the night that they both realized for the first time that this mysterious thing that other people called a “spark” or “chemistry” really did exist and really was powerful.
Annaya threaded her arm through Jack's so that she was walking closer to him. It felt so natural to walk with him that way and occasionally, it crossed her mind that perhaps she should avoid acting so much like a couple with him when they still hadn't established what they really were at all. But she just couldn't help herself when he was so close to her that all she had to do was reach out and thread her arm through his.
"Do you want a boy or a girl?" she asked him absently.
Jack smiled at her question. "Have you been thinking about it?"
"Haven't you?"
"It still doesn't feel real, even after all this time. I've not let myself think about all the details too much."
"Our baby will be here before you know it, Jack. It's time to start thinking about these things."
"Well, if we're thinking about these things, then I suppose I like the idea of a boy. You know, a little Jack to throw a ball around with or to teach all I know."
Annaya laughed lightly. "Throw a ball around with? Jack, I can't believe that you've ever played sports in your life."
"That's not true!" Jack exclaimed, in mock-offence. "I was a brilliant lacrosse player." His tone was half-serious, but his eyes were completely playful when he shot her a sideways glance and a teasing smile. "No, you're right, I wasn't the most boisterous child, but I wasn't allowed to be. I'd love to do all those things with a son that I wish my father had done with me."
"You're not close to your father, are you?"
"The problem is, I aspire too much to be like my father and he equally aspires too much that I should follow in his footsteps, when the fact is, we are entirely different people and I am never going to do all that he has done."
"Do you have to?"
"There's a certain expectation that comes with a prestigious family name. I have big shoes to fill."
"And if you have a son, will you expect him to follow in your footsteps?"
"If I have a son, he can be whatever he wants to be."
"And if you have a daughter?"
"A daughter?" Jack chuckled at the thought. "Well, I can't really imagine me finding it coming all too natural to take care of a little girl, but, if I had a daughter, and she was anything like her mother, I know I'd adore her."
Annaya both loved and hated those thinly-veiled compliments that Jack threw into their conversations, because they both delighted and confused her. It sent little shivers of joy down her spine whenever Jack said she was beautiful or whenever he admired her in any other way, because Jack's compliments made her feel incredible, but at the same time, they left her wondering what it all meant. Was a compliment just a compliment, or was it a hint at something more?
"Well, I'd like a daughter," she told him firmly. "I want a little girl to do all those mother-daughter things that I did with my mother and sister. There's no bond like the bond between a mother and her little girl."
"Ah yes, your mother. I've yet to meet them. My offer still stands."
"I know," Annaya said gratefully. "I'm building up to it."
"You're scared they won't like me?"
"I don't know what I'm scared of, Jack. I suppose that once they're involved, there's no hiding from it anymore."
"You don't need to hide. We're going to be OK."
Jack made a sudden beeline for a baby shop and began to stroll around the aisles in a slightly bewildered daze, while Annaya felt herself grow broody and excited. She picked up a little tiny pair of knitted pink booties and felt herself turn to mush.
"Look at these, Jack!" she exclaimed. "Aren't they adorable?"
"Very cute."
"And this little babygro! Oh my God! Look at those tiny little feet!"
Jack laughed. He'd never seen Annaya act like a girly-girl before, turning to coo over puppies or babies, but it made him smile to know that she had a softer side too. She was always so strong and independent that from time to time he found it easy to forget that there was vulnerability and a softness beneath the confident sexuality and strong mind.
They spent the next few hours strolling from one store to the other, letting their collection of baby goods grow, until at last they arrived back at Jack's apartment with dozens of bags and tired feet.
Annaya looked around at everything they'd bought and laughed. "I didn't expect to go so mad with it," she confessed.
"It makes me feel better to know that you have the things you need."
"Thank you for today, Jack. It's just what I needed. A day to look forward to the baby and not worry about it for a change."
"Are you worried?"
"Aren't you?"
Jack came to sit beside her on the sofa and let one arm rest on the back of the sofa behind Annaya's head. He smiled at her and shook his head, "No."
"You're not worried at all?"
"Should I be?"
"You're going to be a father."
"I've got a great mother at my side to help me get through."
There he went again with those compliments that drove Annaya mad. What was he trying to say? She tried to divert the conversation.
"Is it alright if I take a bath? All that walking did me in."
"Sure. Go ahead."
Annaya smiled at him and headed into his enormous bathroom with its marble floors and polished granite tub. The whole bath was lined with bulbs that glowed blue under the water and there were candles on the windowsill. Annaya lighted one and smiled at the floral scent it released. She was surprised to find these feminine touches at Jack's place and wondered if it was for his benefit or the benefit of the women he brought home.
She didn't like to think about the other women in Jack's life. She was sure there had been many. She knew she couldn't be jealous or complain, because, after all, if she hadn't gotten pregnant, she would have been just another notch on his bedpost, and he would have been just another notch on hers.
It was funny how life worked sometimes. It was supposed to have been a one-night stand to lead her thoughts away from how everyone around her had their lives in order, but all it had done was send her own life even further out of control. Although chaos didn't feel so bad in a billionaire's bathroom, soaking in lavender-scented water by the flickering light of pillar candles.
She wished that every day felt as carefree as this one, but she only ever felt relaxed around Jack. He simply had a calming effect on her, perhaps because he was always so calm himself and because he had so much faith in her.
Annaya sank down in the bath and felt her sore and aching muscles unwind. She leaned her head back against the marble and relished the feeling of the water lapping against her bare skin. She didn't even hear Jack come in, but she sensed him standing there and her eyes flew open. She gasped when she spotted him and went to sit up to cover herself, but Jack turned his eyes away with a little laugh.
"Sorry, Annie. You forgot your towel. I did knock."
The startled woman noticed the towel in his hand and she smiled. "Thanks."
"I'll just put it down here."
*****
Jack kept his eyes averted as he put the towel down and made it almost entirely out of the room before he made the fatal mistake of looking back. God, she was beautiful. A brief glance was all it took to make all his logic vanish and his urges rise up. Everything about her was perfection, from her smooth, dark skin, to her wild hair which was now wet and dripping around her sweet face, to her pert, round breasts with dark nipples. Once he had glanced, he couldn't help but stare, and once he started staring, he couldn't help but get caught.
Anna
ya blushed when she saw him staring and for a moment Jack thought that she would tell him to leave, but when she didn't, he took it as an invitation to draw closer and sit on the edge of the tub. The woman who drove him mad drove him even more crazy when she looked up at him from the tub with round, alluring eyes, widened slightly from surprise and anticipation with one hand half-covering one breast in the barest attempt at concealing herself.
The billionaire sat on the edge of the tub and began to run his hand through the warm water, sending waves lapping against Annaya's thighs. His eyes followed their current, watching how the water brushed against her clear, soft skin, covering between her legs, but only enveloping half of her breasts, which rose out of the water like eager mountains awaiting him. He felt himself growing hard at the sight of her and his hand wandered down between her legs.
Annaya watched him breathlessly as he began to rub his palm against her and then slip a finger inside. The feeling of him teasing her and the warm water swirling made her bite down on her lip and that drove Jack over the edge. Not caring that he'd get wet, he submerged both arms into the water to scoop her up and carry her into the bedroom. He threw her down on the bed and lapped up lavender droplets from her breasts.
She was so beautiful naked, especially when Jack could see how much she wanted him. At first she'd seemed surprised that he'd touched her, but now she seemed to have given into her own desires and let go of her own inhibitions; swept up in that same wave of attraction that made Jack throw all his own logic out the window.
He tore off his now-dripping shirt, his pants and underpants and moved on top of her. Her body was still warm and damp from the bath water and his body slid effortlessly against hers as he entered her and began to thrust. They began to make love wildly, passionately and without hesitation, saving all their doubts for later, when the cry of each other's bodies wasn't demanding that they give in once again.
*****
"What do you mean ‘nothing happened’? You've been gone for two weeks!"
Annaya laughed at Natalie's wide-eyed exclamation and took a sip from her tea. It was true. What was meant to have been a couple of days of talking through the fine-print with Jack had turned into a couple of weeks of talking things through and getting to know each other better. The awkwardness between them had faded after Jack's apology and then, just like things seemed to always happen between them, the intensity had built and built until it was time to say goodbye and they were back at square one.
"We talked. We made some decisions. He showed me some more of Vegas – the parts that aren't in casinos."
"And?"
"And what?"
"You know what I mean. How were things between you two? Are you friends now, or something more?"
Annaya sighed deeply and gave a morose shrug. "I honestly don't know, Nat. There are times when I think there's something between us. Jack says things sometimes that make me wonder if he's got feelings for me, but then we end up taking a step back. I think that with the baby on the way, we're both just afraid of ending up together for the wrong reasons. It's hard to tell if we have feelings for each other, or are just excited about the pregnancy and are letting that take over."
"Are you serious?" Natalie said irritably. "Annaya, you've got a reputation for never letting a man get close to you. You're the pickiest person I know, but whenever you talk about that man, you practically swoon. Pregnancy or not, you've got feelings for that man."
"And even if I do, what am I supposed to do with them?" Annaya sighed. She lifted her head and looked out of the coffee shop window longingly at the little family outside: mother, father and baby in its pram. She dreamed of having a scene like that in her own life one day, but she had no idea how things would go with her and Jack and whether they'd ever act like a family. Annaya paused for a moment and then looked back at Natalie with a serious expression. "He proposed to me."
"What?" Natalie exclaimed, splashing coffee over the counter as she jolted at the news. She looked around at all the people who'd looked up at the sound of her crying out and then she lowered her voice and leaned in closer to Annaya to continue their conversation. "‘Nothing happened’! He proposed to you. That's a pretty big something, in my books. What did you say?"
"What do you mean, what did I say? I said no, of course. I hardly know the man."
"Do you think that's for the best?"
"What are you saying, Natalie? You think I should have married the man?"
"You could do worse."
"Are you serious? Sure, Jack's a catch in a lot of ways, but just because he ticks some boxes on paper, doesn't mean that he'd make a good husband. Anything you do in a panic, will only end in tears. If I ever married Jack, it would be because I loved him and he loved me, and not just because we're both trying to do the right thing."
"I admire you, Annaya, but I think you're mad," Natalie confessed. "You've been going on a lot lately about how you're getting older and last chances and all that, and a gorgeous man who wants to take care of you offers to marry you and you turn him down? I know it didn't start in the most sensible of ways, but crazier things have happened than a one-night stand turning out to be something really good."
"I'm trying to keep my head here, Nat. Look at him. Jack has everything. He's handsome, rich, intelligent and has women all over him. He's practically a celebrity. Why would a big shot like him settle down with a nobody? I won't marry him just to spin some good PR."
Natalie sighed, looked over at her friend with tender admiration and gave a reassuring smile. "I'm sorry. You're right. Do what you feel is right."
That was easier said than done. What felt right was becoming Mrs. Annaya Casali, but every logical part of her being told her that that was insane. Ever since leaving Vegas this time Annaya had been kept awake at night with ceaseless thoughts of ‘what if?’. What if she'd said yes? Would she be planning her own wedding now? Would she be buying her gown? Would she bowled over by her mother's hugs when she informed her she'd bagged a billionaire?
It was all well and good fantasizing about what could have been if Annaya had said yes instead of no, but she'd made up her mind. There were too many unknowns for her to rush into something like that with a man she barely knew. She wouldn't marry Jack unless everything was right.
Chapter8
Annaya was a mess of nerves as Jack pulled up outside her parent's house that Wednesday afternoon. Jack saw how flustered she was growing, tugging at the seatbelt that was digging into her now swollen belly and shooting nervous glances up the driveway and he smiled and calmly lay his hand on her knee.
"What are you so nervous about, Annie? I thought you wanted me to meet them."
"I do," Annaya said uncertainly. "It's just that it's such a weird situation already and I don't want it to get any worse..."
"Get any worse?" Jack repeated with a little chuckle. He raised his eyebrows at her. "Am I that bad?"
"Hmm, let's see," Annaya began sarcastically, listing their antics on her fingers with a little frown. "We had a shotgun drunken wedding in Vegas, followed by an equally quick annulment, only to find out I was pregnant, which led to you proposing again, despite how great the first wedding turned out to be..."
"You said you wouldn't mention the proposal again," Jack scolded with a little half-laugh. He gave her another patient and reassuring smile. "It's all going to be fine. Besides, I should be the nervous one."
"You're right. You should be."
Despite Jack's offer to meet her parents months before, it took until Annaya's seventh month of pregnancy before she felt brave enough to introduce him to them. She wanted to avoid their judgment for as long as possible and to keep Jack out of the firing line. Just like Brandon Casali, her parents had their own views of the right way to proceed, and she didn't want Jack to be scolded by them.
Her parents were conservative, upstanding members of the community who had expected Annaya to get married to a nice man, settle down in a family home and have children in that order, and inst
ead she'd found herself getting everything quite muddled up and she worried about what they'd think of the man who was to blame.
Not that Annaya blamed him, of course. From the start she'd known that it had taken both of them to make a baby and she couldn't fault Jack in all the ways he'd stepped up to the mark when she'd told him she was pregnant. He'd been there with her at Natalie's wedding and then on the phone with her once a week ever since and supported her financially and emotionally all the way up to that awful moment in Vegas where he'd proposed out-of-the-blue.
They'd both decided to put that day behind them and they hadn't spoken about it again, although every now and then Annaya would find herself wondering again about whether she'd made the wrong choice in turning him down. Every time she saw Jack, it seemed, she wanted to be closer to him, and be with him longer and just generally have him near her for as long and as close as possible. Instead, she had brief visits with him here and there are long conversations on the phone, but it just wasn't enough to make her feel satisfied.
She wanted desperately to be with him all the time, but she just didn't know how to make that happen without drawing him into a trap. After all, how many conversations had Annaya heard from men talking about the dangers of a woman entrapping a man with a child? She didn't want to be counted among them, especially as Jack was a rich man and it was just another reason for people to point a finger at her and label her as a man eater and a gold-digger.
No, as much as she wanted to be with him, she felt that there was no way to do it that would seem right. Even though they were seven months into this now, they still didn't know each other as well as they should, and she didn't know how she could confess that she had feelings for him and make it sound true – even though it was.
She looked him over now as they sat in the car. He was wearing an expensive pair of denim blue jeans and a pristine off-white shirt with very faint pinstripes. The top button of his collar was open, exposing the bottom of his throat and just a glimpse of his strong, firm chest. His hair was slightly windswept from having the car window just slightly open on the way here from her apartment, where he'd picked her up, and he was clean-shaven for the occasion. He looked as lean and handsome and immaculate as ever and Annaya felt stupid knowing that she was harboring feelings for him now, because how could he have any feelings for her?
