by Leah Atwood
“What can I do?” Rand asked.
“Danny needs to be changed from head to toe.”
“I’ll take care of it.” Reaching into the cradle, he grabbed his son, whose gown was soaked through. “Oh my,” he muttered. He undressed Danny, discarding the soiled clothing to the floor. Lettie kept a stack of clean diapers and clothing beside the bed, for convenient access during times such as these. Grabbing what he needed, he proceeded to dress his son in a dry diaper and gown.
“Thank you,” Lettie acknowledged. “I’ll be down once I feed them.”
He felt her dismissal—she was cordial but distant. He’d give her some more space.
Returning to the kitchen, he stirred the pot of stew, noticing it was sticking to the pan’s bottom. He scraped off what he could, trying to mix the burnt pieces back in with the stew. His stomach growled, and he grabbed a biscuit to tide him over. When he heard Lettie coming down the stairs, he hurriedly grabbed two bowls and ladled their supper into them, then set them on the table. Next he grabbed four biscuits, put them into another bowl and placed that bowl between their dishes of stew.
If Lettie didn’t want to talk yet, then he would show her with his actions. There was no reason why he couldn’t help with their meal. She looked at the table and a glimmer of a smile appeared.
“Eat up,” he said, hoping to lighten the tension between them.
Her stomach growled loudly, and she laughed nervously. “I don’t think I’ve eaten since breakfast.”
“Would you like something to drink?”
“Cold milk would be nice.” Moving slowly, she sat down in her seat.
He poured her a cup and set it by her bowl.
“Thank you,” she said after swallowing the bite of food in her mouth.
They ate in silence. What little conversation they attempted was stilted. Both recognized it and tacitly made an unspoken agreement to not pursue further talk of any sort. Not until later that night. Except later never came.
Lettie excused herself to check on the twins. She never returned to the house’s first level and after an hour, Rand went to check on her. He found her curled up in bed, on top of the quilts, still clothed in day attire.
Sighing, he accepted that he’d have to wait until tomorrow to speak with her. Her feet were still in stockings, but she wore no boots or slippers. He considered trying to change her into a nightgown, but he didn’t think she’d appreciate that. They weren’t on that level of intimacy, despite everything they’d been through together in the short few months they’d been married. Instead, he opted to cover her with a quilt folded at the end of the bed. The twins would wake for their feeding in a few hours and she could change then.
He kissed her forehead. “I love you, Lettie. Good night.”
“I love you too,” she mumbled sleepily, probably unaware she’d even said it.
But oh, how he wished it was true.
Chapter Ten
The twins woke several times during the night, but never at the same time. Lettie figured she’d had two hours of sleep the entire night if that. Her feet were dragging as she prepared breakfast, but love for her babies kept her moving, even when she wanted to crawl back into bed. Gray clouds prevented the sun from shining, which contributed to her lethargic attitude today.
Rand came inside from milking the cow and set the pail on the table. He looked how she felt. Bloodshot eyes rested above dark circles, his usually neat hair was sticking up in various places and he hadn’t shaved. She knew an apology for yesterday’s behavior was in order—he hadn’t deserved her curtness, but she was too tired to muster one.
Coffee. They desperately needed some coffee. With her thumb and forefinger, she wiped her eyes toward the bridge of her nose. The coffee was ready, and she poured a cup, handed it to Rand then poured one for herself.
“I’d planned on leaving later in the morning, but after seeing the sky, I changed my mind. I’ll be leaving right after breakfast. With any luck, I’ll beat the rain.”
“I’ll pack you something for dinner.”
“Thank you. I’m not sure what time I’ll be back. It will all depend on how long it takes to find the right men.”
“We’ll be here waiting.”
“Lettie…” He trailed off, his gaze focused on a chip in his cup.
“Yes?”
He looked up, placing the empty cup on the table. “When I get home, can we talk? Not just conversation like this, but really talk. There are some things I want to tell you.”
Fear gripped her, and she, in reaction, gripped her cup until her knuckles were white. Knowing that he was still in love his first wife was hard enough. Having him admit it to her would be near impossible. But what could she say? “If you’re not too tired.”
“I won’t be.” He grabbed a biscuit, tore it in half and placed three strips of bacon between. “I’ll take this with me.”
Moving deftly, she sliced off a few pieces of bread and cheese. After wrapping them in a cloth napkin, she also grabbed an apple and hand the items to Rand. “Be careful.”
“I will.” He kissed her cheek. “I’ll try not be too long.”
She followed him out the door, standing on the porch when he continued to the barn. Her palm rested against her heart, her fingers curled in. A few minutes later, he exited the barn mounted on Thyme’s back. He tipped his hat farewell before trotting across the land.
Her heart fluttered, and she smiled as she watched him ride away. She loved him, and that would have to be enough. No matter what he told her tonight, she’d have to cling to her love for him and remind herself that love wasn’t selfish or self-fulfilling. What she felt for him was not conditional upon his feelings for her. That wasn’t how true love worked.
A baby’s cry called her back into the house. She’d have to clean up from breakfast later—her precious little ones needed her first. Two hours later, the sky opened up, and the rain was released in torrents. With the rain’s arrival, the temperatures dropped. Not quite cold enough to start a fire, Lettie draped a shawl over her shoulders. She put a kettle of water on the stove to heat for a cup of tea she was craving.
Taking the quilt she’d brought down earlier, she spread it over the planks of the wood floor. Then she went upstairs and gathered the twins, balancing one on each hip. Carefully, she carried them downstairs and laid them on their stomachs, atop the quilt. She watched, amazed as their hands sought each other and gripped the other’s tiny fingers. They made a few gurgling sounds, but seemed content to be near each other, lying on the quilt.
Moments like these were few and far between. Convinced Danny and Naomi were both comfortable, Lettie returned to the kitchen. She was drying the dishes when she heard a noise from outside, like someone approaching. Whoever it was, created too much noise to be Rand returning already. She could hear clopping and creaking over the sound of rain beating down.
She looked to the rifle, hung above the door. Rand had taught her how to use it during her first month in Weatherton. Could she use it now if she had to? Who, except someone up to no good, would be out in this weather? Then again, if someone was up to no good, wouldn’t they make their appearance less discreet?
Moving to the window, she positioned herself just to the side of the glass. She pulled the curtain back an inch and peered outside. A fancy carriage had pulled up to the house. Lettie was intrigued. She kept her vantage point by the window, watching as a drenched driver stepped out from under his ineffective protective cover and opened the door. A lady stepped out, dressed in clothes much too fancy for this area. The woman looked oddly familiar, but with the rain obstructing a clear view, Lettie couldn’t make her out.
She gasped when the woman took her first step onto the porch and her identity was indisputable.
Mother!
Crossing her arms, she thought quickly. Should she let her in or refuse her? How had she found her? Another thought entered her mind, sending terror through her. Was Maxwell also here? She glanced at the rifle again,
biting her lip. Yes, thinking of Maxwell and his physical abuse, she knew she could use a rifle if needed, especially to protect her children.
Recoiling from the shock, she waited to open the door until a minute after her mother had knocked. The lady standing in front of her was, in fact, her mother, but a far cry from the woman she’d left behind. Sad brown eyes stood out against her gaunt face, her typically creamy skin and youthful appearance gone. Half a year had gone by since she’d last seen her mother and in that time, Evelyn’s appearance had aged ten or more years.
“Mother,” she greeted, forcing the terseness out of her voice. “What a surprise.”
Evelyn Montrose’s gaze darted around, settling anywhere but on her daughter. “May I come in?”
An immature part of Lettie that vividly remembered the pain of her mother’s betrayal and coldness wanted to shout no and send her away, except that wouldn’t be the decent thing to do. Stepping back, she swept her arm in a gesture which gave her mother permission to enter. Evelyn turned back to the driver and nodded, and the driver climbed into the carriage, waiting where it was dry.
Danny chose that moment to start fussing.
“Excuse me. I’ll be right back.” Leaving her mother by the door, Lettie went to grab Danny. Naomi had fallen asleep.
Lettie hugged her son close to her bosom, letting her love for him soothe and calm her nerves, which were frayed by her own mother’s unannounced arrival.
Evelyn’s eyes widened when Lettie walked in the room with Danny, but she remained silent, her brown eyes taking in her surroundings. Lettie watched her carefully for any reaction, any censure. While Rand’s house was comfortable and large enough for them, it was nothing compared to the large mansion Lettie had grown up in and that her mother still lived in, as far as she knew. But Evelyn’s eyes showed no disapproval. In fact, the Evelyn who was present was not the woman Lettie remembered.
“Would you like some tea to warm you?” Lettie asked, feeling generous for offering her anything.
“Yes, please.”
“Follow me.” She led her mother into the kitchen. “You can have a seat at the table.” With one hand, Lettie poured scalding water from the teapot into a cup she’d just washed and then steeped tea into it, repeating the process with a second cup.
“Thank you,” Evelyn took the cup.
“Why are you here, Mother? How did you find me? Is Maxwell here also?”
Regret twisted Evelyn’s face into drooping features. “Maxwell is dead.”
“What? How?” she stuttered.
“His body was found washed up against the harbor’s shores. There are rumors that he… that he took his own life, but the investigation is still ongoing.” A suspicious moisture, gathered at the corner of her eye, looked like a tear, but Evelyn Montrose did not cry.
Lettie swallowed. She’d disliked the man with a vehemence, but she hadn’t wanted him dead. “How did you find me?”
Evelyn reached toward her, but withdrew the hand. “After you disappeared, I realized how wrong I’d been. Maxwell came to me with threats of hunting you down. He tried to beat answers out of me, not believing I had no idea where you were. When I realized you’d been telling me the truth about him all along, the pain of how I treated you was worse than the pain of Maxwell’s attack.”
“Oh, mother.” She reached across the table and took her mother’s hand. “What did he do to you?”
“It doesn’t matter now. I deserved it for how I treated you. When I think of what he would have done to you, had you married him, I feel ill. I promise, I didn’t know your father had set up a trust for you. Maxwell only knew because of his position at the bank. Maxwell first approached your father, as I know now, in hopes of securing your trust fund for his own wallet.”
A trust fund? That was new information to her, but not important for the moment. Other issues needed to be taken care of first. “No one deserves to be treated the way Maxwell Donahue treated people.”
“This may be hard to believe, but at the time, I did what I thought was best for you. My intentions were good though misguided as I see now.”
Blinking back her own tears, Lettie wanted to believe her mother, but there were so many wounds. “How could you think forcing me into a marriage with him when I loved Daniel was for the best?”
“Because I know what it’s like to be poor and barely survive. My parents were poor immigrants. I can still remember the days when all I had to eat the entire day was a single hunk of bread. Many days, my mother wouldn’t eat anything so I could have more. Papa worked hard, right into an early grave. Then I met your father, and we fell in love.”
“But father’s family is wealthy. Didn’t they disapprove of you, like you and father did of Daniel?”
“We told them I was orphaned and left with a trust fund.”
“And they didn’t question it?”
“Your grandparents were better people than I.”
“This is too much,” Lettie muttered. “If father fell in love with you, I don’t understand why both of you fought against Daniel.” Anger was building in her, clenching onto her heart and lungs.
“Daniel had no money. How was he going to take care of you?”
“Money isn’t everything.”
“I know that now but at the time, I believed it to be true.” Evelyn sighed.
Lettie shook her head sadly. “What changed your mind?”
“I lost everything that mattered. My stubborn pride cost me my daughter, your father’s gone and I have nothing but my money. And I came to the sad realization that I am one of the wealthiest women in Baltimore, but also the loneliest and most miserable. I miss you, Lettie. I’ve failed you horribly, but I’d like a second chance. I tracked you down to seek your forgiveness.”
“My forgiveness?” She tilted her head and took a long look at her mother. Yes, she believed her mother had truly changed. She wasn’t sure about the second chance, but forgiveness wasn’t hers to deny.
“Yes. Please forgive me for not believing you, for being so cold, so uninvolved when I should have been and involved when I shouldn’t have been.”
Rubbing behind her ear, Lettie couldn’t figure out if she were hearing her mother correctly or was in a dream. When Naomi’s high-pitched cry rang out, she knew she wasn’t dreaming.
She shifted Danny in her arm, lifting him. “Would you like to hold your grandson?”
An unsure smile spread across Evelyn’s face. “Yes.”
Lettie handed him over gently and hurried to gather Naomi. Her daughter’s wails were a cry for attention and quieted once she was in her mother’s arms. Carrying her back into the kitchen, Lettie made the introductions.
“Mother, I’d like you to meet your grandchildren.” She swallowed the lump in her throat, all of a sudden, overcome with emotion. “You are holding Daniel Morgan McCade and this little girl I have is Naomi Melanie McCade.” She moved closer, allowing her mother a look at Naomi.
“They are perfect,” Evelyn said, her voice also hoarse with sentiment. “Daniel would be proud. He was a good man. I should have seen that.”
“Yes, he was,” she agreed. “Mother, I forgive you, because it’s the right thing to do. I can’t allow my bitterness to take over the life I have now. I don’t know that we could ever have a mother/daughter relationship, but maybe we could be friends?”
Evelyn took a deep breath, releasing it with a sigh. “That is more than I have a right to ask for.”
“We can take it one day at a time. How long will you be in Weatherton?”
“I’d planned for a month. The boarding house has an opening for that length of time.”
Lettie took a leap of faith. “Would you like to stay here? In the house with Rand and me? I’d have to clear the decision with him, but I don’t think it will be a problem.”
“Do you mean it?” A small amount of sadness lifted from her eyes.
“Yes,” she answered, surprised to discover that she sincerely meant the offer. “It wil
l give us time to connect and really get to know each other.”
“For being a mother and daughter, we are strangers, aren’t we?”
“But we don’t have to be any longer.” Lettie knew the past wounds wouldn’t heal overnight, but she was trying to apply the lessons of life she’d learned.
“Tell me about your husband. Daniel’s family told me you married a rancher named Randall McCade.”
“Daniel’s family told you where I was?” Feelings of betrayal made her grit her teeth. She’d trusted them.
“Don’t be angry with them, please. I was desperate and went to them as a last resort. They could see I am trying to change. They put their faith in me— please don’t fault them for that.”
She gave her mother a sad smile. That did sound like Daniel’s family. After all they’d done for her, she couldn’t hold any ill will toward them. And time would tell, but it did look like their faith hadn’t been misplaced. She let that drop, and proceeded to tell her mother about her husband. “Rand is a good man, similar to Daniel in many ways, but also very different.”
“You love him, don’t you?”
“I do.”
“Does he love you?”
Lettie paused, forcing herself not to pity herself for unrequited love. “He respects me and cares for me, which is more than many wives can say. I am very fortunate to have found him.”
“The correct answer is, he does love you,” a rich baritone voice spoke from the kitchen’s entrance.
Chapter Eleven
Rand waited for Lettie’s response. When he learned her mother had shown up in Weatherton and was on her way to the ranch, he’d promptly left town before finishing his business. Lettie was going to need him, and he was suspicious of any reason her mother could have for appearing.
