‘I have to go,’ she said, pushing past him and racing down the corridor. Behind her she could hear Gil calling her name, but she couldn’t turn back. If Reenie was running away, she had to stop her.
There was a loud slam ahead as the stage door swung shut behind the elderly singer and Mattie skidded to a halt, her hands grappling with the entry bar as she scrabbled to push it open. Outside, the street was a dark silhouette against a bright blue evening sky, the golden light of the setting sun gilding the end of the alley. And there, in the natural spotlight, stood Reenie Silver, her shoulders rising and falling as she caught her breath.
Mattie hurried towards her, praying that a cab wouldn’t arrive and take her away from the club for good. With enormous relief, she reached out to touch her shoulder – then froze as she realised Reenie wasn’t alone.
Four strangers were gathered to her left, nodding as she spoke to them. Were they fans? Groupies from her long and illustrious career? On closer inspection, only one of them appeared old enough to be a contemporary of Reenie’s, the other three consisting of a woman Mattie guessed to be in her early sixties, a younger man of about forty and a girl who looked no older than Pru or Kelvin.
Reenie stopped talking and turned around, her smile vanishing when she saw Mattie. ‘Oh, I didn’t see you there, Mattie. I was just catching up with – in fact, I’ll be back in the club in five minutes, so why don’t you—’
‘Mattie?’ the eldest lady repeated – and Mattie saw Reenie slump. ‘The Mattie Bell? Oh, this is wonderful!’ She stepped forward and planted two kisses on Mattie’s cheeks. ‘Thank you. From the bottom of our hearts. Truly. You have no idea how Mum’s enjoyed your visits, and this – well, it’s just fantastic.’
Mattie stared at Reenie, who appeared to be trying to hide behind a road bollard. ‘Mum?’
‘And Granny and Great-Gran,’ the man smiled. ‘Not to mention soon-to-be Great-Great Nan.’
‘Reenie?’ Mattie asked, the sudden realisation of who the group were dawning with sickening clarity. ‘This is your family?’
Reenie looked small in the middle of them. ‘I tried to tell you . . .’
The family who she’d sworn didn’t exist looked at Mattie and grinned as one.
‘We don’t get to see Mum as much as we’d like,’ Reenie’s surprise daughter explained. ‘We do a lot of travelling with my husband’s job, and we’ve just spent four months in Dubai. So when she told us you were visiting – and what you were planning with this concert – well, we were all over the moon.’
‘Just how many of your family are there?’ Mattie folded her arms as Reenie stared at the pavement.
‘I tried to say . . .’
‘Only the four of us are here tonight, but there are more who couldn’t come. So, I’m Delora, Reenie’s daughter, then there’s my sister Deanna who lives in Toronto and my brother Derek, who works with my husband in his construction business out in the UAE. This handsome chap is my son Nick, and this is his youngest daughter, Lucy. His eldest daughter Frankie is expecting Mum’s great-great-grandson any day now, so she couldn’t come. But we want you to know, Mum considers you a granddaughter. And after seeing what you’ve done for her tonight, we’d like to welcome you into our family, too.’
Mattie was overwhelmed by this sudden introduction to Reenie’s very large family. ‘That’s kind of you, but—’
‘Talking of which, not long till the show starts.’ Delora kissed Reenie and drew her into a huge hug. ‘We’d better get in and find our seats. Break a leg, Mum. You’re going to be wonderful!’
As they left, Mattie rounded on her charge. ‘You said you didn’t have any family . . .’
‘Yes, I know.’
‘It was all, “I never got the chance to have kids of my own, love.” That was why I started visiting you in the first place – why I didn’t stop you picking up Kelvin and Pru . . .’
‘I never meant to lie to you, kid.’
‘But you did! Worse still, you got Gaynor to lie, too. You could have made her lose her job by covering for you being on this road trip, do you realise? Why didn’t you tell me about your kids? And grandkids? And flippin’ great-grandkids, for heaven’s sake?’
Reenie began to rally. ‘And if I’d told you I had family, would you have visited me at all? Would you have done any of this?’
‘I might have.’
‘Only if you’d liked me enough to see beyond the link I had with your grandad. Because let’s be honest here, love, you used me as much as I used you.’
Mattie had heard enough. ‘Have you ever told me the truth, about any of this? I stuck up for you when Gil was accusing you of lying – I might have lost someone I was beginning to really care about because I took your side. Do you even get that? Not that I suppose it matters to you. You got what you wanted. You can clear your conscience and have a final, glittering farewell in the glare of publicity we’ve all kindly created for you. You know what? I fulfilled my end of the bargain. You can take it from here. I don’t even want to be here now.’
‘And how do I get home, eh? You brought me here.’
‘You can hitch a lift with your family, seeing as they’re here. I am done, Reenie. It’s finally over.’
She turned to leave, but Reenie followed her. ‘I wanted to tell you, kid. I meant to tell you the first time you came. But then I started looking forward to your visits and – I don’t know, the time to say something passed.’
Mattie stopped walking. ‘Is that what you tried to tell me earlier?’
Reenie nodded. ‘Yes, love. And I felt awful that I didn’t . . .’
‘Because you knew you were going to be found out.’
‘No! Maybe . . . But I didn’t lie about all of it, Mattie.’ The old lady’s sudden grip on her arm was strong, desperate. ‘I didn’t lie about this place. About the baby. Not even my family knows that, kid. They think Rico persuaded me to leave The Silver Five and go solo. That’s what I’ve always told them. What I’ve told everybody until this week. They don’t know about Jake Kendrick and they don’t know I was almost a mother, seven years before I gave birth to Delora. I didn’t lie about those things. I chose to tell you them.’
Unsure of what to believe, Mattie took a long, hard look at Reenie Silver. ‘Then why me? Why agree to have me visit you – to all the rest of it – when your kids and grandchildren could have done it for you?’
‘Because I like you, Mattie Bell! Really like you. And I loved that you wanted to hear my daft old stories and gave me the time of day. I love my family and they love me, but after a while you just become the dotty old grandma, blathering away in a corner at Christmas about the life you had before any of them were born. They care, but they don’t care like you did.’ She batted a tear from her eye. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Although technically I didn’t lie about not having visitors lately: it’s a bit of a trek from Dubai to Beauvale every Sunday morning to visit. But I should’ve told you the truth. And I didn’t. And I’m sorry.’
It was too much to take in, after so many half-truths, rumours and unreliable stories. Mattie wrestled her arm free and moved a few steps away from Reenie, thoroughly confused.
‘Why should I believe you?’
In the fading evening light Reenie was a little old lady again, almost shrinking before Mattie’s eyes. ‘Oh, I don’t know. I guess it’s your call, kid. I probably wouldn’t believe me if I was in your shoes. But for what it’s worth, it’s true. You made me feel like a star again. I told you my stories and you lapped them up: I’m not ashamed to admit I may have embellished a few here and there for your benefit.’ She gave a hollow laugh, looking up at the darkening sky. ‘Never thought I’d be begging somebody to listen to me. How the mighty have fallen, eh?’
Mattie kicked a discarded plastic bottle at her feet. Should she believe the old lady or just call it a night before the concert happened? ‘You’re still a star. A sold-out venue tells you that.’
‘Want to know why I changed my mind?
When I’d said I wouldn’t do the reunion you’d planned?’
‘Hit me with it.’ One more dubious story couldn’t make things worse . . .
‘Because I’d just had a visit from my financial advisor. She suggested I tie up all my affairs immediately, and I quote, “because at your age and with your health problems, you probably don’t have another ten years to do everything”.’
Forgetting her irritation, Mattie stared at her. ‘That’s awful! You’ll outlive everyone. A born survivor, that’s what you said, right?’
‘You and I know that, Matilda, but she just tripped out her offensive little phrase, like I was meant to thank her for it. Well, I sacked her on the spot, of course. Didn’t want her getting her grubbies on a penny more of my money, cheeky mare! But what she said wouldn’t leave me. And I thought, that’s what people think of me now, isn’t it? Some washed-up has-been, crumbling to bits in a care home. But you never considered my age when you suggested this crazy idea. It was all about getting everyone back together. You believed in me. You thought I was up to it. And so I thought to myself, I’ll bleedin’ show Felicity Gordon-Smythe, Financial Advisor what I can do. So I said yes. And look what happened, Mattie Bell.’
‘Okay, fine. But I have one question.’
‘Name it.’
‘You don’t have any more earth-shattering revelations up your sleeve, do you? Because honestly, Reenie, I don’t think I can handle any more.’
‘I once left me knickers in Frankie Laine’s dressing room . . .’ she grinned up at Mattie as she took her arm. ‘Nah, you probably don’t want to know the rest of that story. No more revelations. Not that I can think of, at any rate. Shall we go to this bleedin’ gig, then, or what?’
Mattie smiled back. ‘I’m not letting you miss it, Miss Silver!’
Chapter Thirty-Four
‘Little Things Mean a Lot’ – Kitty Kallen
The sound of the swing band swelled into the club, and Mattie watched The Silver Five fall silent as they stood in the wings. When one of the lights dancing across the stage illuminated them momentarily, she noticed they were holding hands. Tommy pulled a crumpled handkerchief from his trouser pocket and dabbed at his nose, while Alys rested her head on Reenie’s shoulder. June had her arm around Thalia’s waist, comforting the poor girl, who looked likely to throw up from nerves. Here stood The Silver Five, after so many years apart, awaiting their cue to take the stage.
It was almost as if the anticipation of the audience was sweeping onstage, an unseen energy that willed and pulled the stars they had come to see back to their rightful place. Mattie had never performed, but she remembered Jack describing the atmosphere between audience and stage as a ‘riptide’, pulling you forwards and making you giddy, drawing out your best and rushing their appreciation back like a swell. It was electrifying and terrifying all at once, and Mattie understood how it had intoxicated each singer in the group, making it the only thing they could imagine doing – and setting the course for their lives.
She wasn’t performing tonight, but she felt as nervous as if she were. At least she looked the part now, having changed into a Fifties-style black evening dress she had packed for the trip, her hair swirled up in a French pleat and a pair of low black kitten heels in place of the boots she’d practically lived in for the last fortnight.
‘Five minutes,’ the stage manager informed them, handing out headset microphones and helping the singers to fix them in place.
Mattie gave the group a thumbs-up. ‘I’ll head out front. Break a leg, everyone!’
Reenie caught her hand. ‘This is it, kid. And it’s you we owe it to.’ Quite without warning, she threw her arms around Mattie and the others joined her, until, giggling like teenagers, they released her.
As she hurried backstage towards the corridor that led to the bar, Mattie saw Gil. He was standing in the darkness, his face lit by a sliver of blue light coming through a gap in the curtains. He didn’t smile, but his gaze was directed straight at her. Tired and shaking with the emotion of the night, Mattie walked on. Whatever had happened between them was over: all that mattered now was the culmination of her promise to Reenie and Grandpa Joe.
Emerging into the restored heart of the Palm Grove, Mattie was dazzled by what seemed to be a thousand lights burning brightly. Above the chandeliers a star curtain had been draped: myriad tiny stars shimmering high above the audience. Now she understood why Joe Bell had adored this place so much; and why he’d found his heart amongst its twinkling lights. It would be easy to fall in love here, she thought, her heart aching with the irony. She had come so close to falling for its owner; now she was here, she knew any chance of that had gone. Gil wasn’t interested, and she didn’t want to be with someone who could so easily let her down. Grandpa Joe had never returned here after Una left him. Now it occurred to Mattie that she would soon leave it behind her, just as he’d done. Maybe the Palm Grove was a breaker of hearts as well as the maker of passions. How many dreams had been tested here? And how many had been dashed?
She didn’t want to think of it anymore. Tonight belonged to the group of reconciled friends now being introduced to rapturous applause.
Gil held the microphone in the centre of the stage. Safe in her seat at the back of the club, Mattie forced herself to look at him. His smile towards the group seemed warm and genuine – a world away from the rage he’d displayed towards Reenie in Wales – and the coolness of his expression backstage. Mattie was certain she saw Reenie sneak a playful dig into his ribs as The Silver Five took to the stage. Perhaps he had apologised this afternoon. Or maybe she was simply having the last word. That was a right Reenie Silver guarded most jealously of all.
‘Excuse me, is this seat taken?’ asked a gruff voice, dragging her attention from the stage. Mattie turned – almost shrieking when she saw Joanna and Jack grinning beside her.
‘Oh wow! What are you doing here?’
‘We couldn’t miss your finest hour,’ Jack said, planting a kiss on her head and flopping into the next seat. ‘This is unbelievable!’
‘Where are the kids, J-J?’
Joanna took the seat opposite. ‘Granny’s looking after them at the house – I hope that’s okay?’
‘Yes, of course,’ Mattie replied, the thought of her mother babysitting in her home strangely amusing. ‘I do hope Mum knows what she’s let herself in for.’
‘Don’t worry. We’re driving back straight after the gig so we can rescue her. You did it, M! How do you feel?’
‘It’s – a lot to take in. And a lot’s happened. It might take me a while to answer that.’
Joanna laughed. ‘Take all the time you need. Now enjoy this, Mattie. You deserve it.’
‘. . . Ladies and gentlemen, would you join with me to welcome – The Silver Five!’ Gil left the stage, and the house lights began to dim until a single spotlight remained on the group. Thalia nodded a count and began to play. Mattie felt the audience around her lean forward instinctively, awaiting the first notes sung by their idols, the beginning of a landmark concert few fans had thought possible. The thrill when Reenie sang the opening bars of their 1955 song ‘Sweet Little Heart of Mine’ was practically tangible. From then on, the crowd hung on every note, every harmony and each new arrangement Thalia played, applause beginning before each song had ended. Tommy, Alys, June and Reenie beamed through each number, as if utterly stunned by the reaction of the crowd.
Mattie realised she was touching the silver sixpence tiepin she’d pinned to her simple black evening dress. Now she understood why Grandpa Joe had cherished it: not only because it had been a present from a school friend, but also because it served as a constant reminder of the folly of his youth. A wedding gift that never was, it would warn him never to let himself be fooled again. Mattie had loved it all her life, but now she could see it for what it was – a warning passed down through the years.
But she hadn’t needed him to save her from all the mistakes she could have made. How else was she supposed to l
earn from her life? By his insistence that she follow his lead, he had denied her the chance of growing, of chasing her heart, of staying true to herself. In the dazzling, dancing lights of the club he had once loved, the tiepin on her dress became something different. It wasn’t a gift. It was a curse.
If Joe Bell had never met Una here, if he’d remained the idealistic, heart-driven dreamer so in love with London and the Palm Grove, perhaps his life would have been different. Mattie wanted to remember him as the young man he had once been, before heartbreak made him cautious and determined to prevent anyone else from making the mistakes he’d made. Looking back towards the stage, she knew what she had to do.
The swell of applause that greeted each song was becoming stronger as the audience willed The Silver Five to perform their biggest hit. Charting in almost every decade since its number one placing in July 1954, their signature tune had been covered by everyone from Elvis Presley, the Supremes, Aretha Franklin and Tony Bennett, to Rod Stewart, Diana Ross and most recently, Michael Bublé. It would live on as future generations discovered it, and while the song’s original singers might be forgotten, a rare agreement between the songwriter Sid Matheson and the young band back when they recorded it ensured their legacy would remain.
‘Sid was a big fan of ours and he always said he’d written the song just for us,’ Reenie had told her during the long drive from Cambridge to Bath. ‘When we recorded it in January 1954 he was so thrilled that he instructed the music publishers to add our names. I don’t know if he ever thought it would be a hit, but when it was he said the credit should remain. One-fifth of twenty-five per cent doesn’t seem like much, but when your song’s been recorded as many times as ours has, it adds up. It’s been a good boost to our incomes for years. So I suppose even when we stopped talkin’, that song kept us together.’
‘Because You Loved Me’ had been Grandpa Joe’s favourite, perhaps because it reminded him of a time in his life when he’d been free to dream, before reality stole the ground from beneath him. Now, as Thalia’s heartfelt version introduced the song to the rapt audience, Mattie closed her eyes and let the melody wash over her . . .
Searching for a Silver Lining Page 30
